anwiii

i am sorry to hear about your loss and pain. you need to stop calling him and put away anything that reminds you of him. it doesn't sound like this relationship will ever be as good as it once was. you need to move on. i know it's hard, and i know it's a shame in all the hard work you both put in to the relationship and how it can just end like this. but this is life and there reasons why it turned out like this. don't blame yourself and don't blame him. it will only make you bitter and resentful and more angry. i didn't sense this from you yet, but the ugliness can easily surface.move on with your life by keeping busy. i mean really busy so it becomes easier not to think about him and your loneliness. over time, i promise it will get easier. right now, i know it's as hard as hell but you are going to have to manage somehow.i know this isn't what you wanted to hear. you can't make him love you. somewhere out there though is someone that is capable of loving you and giving you what you need. calling him will only make things worse and it will only allow you to hang on to the hurt that much longer. don't punish and torture yourself that way.

it's true that my emotions would tell me to let certain people be put to death. a good example would be if someone killed a family member of mine whether or not it was justified.there is more than making decisions on emotions though. in my opinion, there is only one justifiable reason to kill and that is for self defense if someone is assaulting you with deadly force.society has made it justifiable to kill someone because of the emotions of others. this is unacceptable and barbaric. we now live in a time where we have more knowledge to help people who are dysfuctional in society and within the laws society sets. there ARE ways to help these people before they commit such acts and even after they commit such acts.i know i am treading on a thin line of what is right and wrong and not many would accept my point of view, but it's only because those people don't know any better and they give in to believing killing people is acceptable. what i have to say isn't even limited to someone who kills another human being. it extends to other people as well who have fallen short like drug dealers,rapists, etc....i'm not really looking at this situation as a law issue because i don't believe in a lot of laws that are passed. i am looking at this issue from a moral standpoint. basically, it's in a nations best interest financially to execute someone rather than help them because it costs time and money to help people effectively.the basic question i would like to ask though is that if someone kills someone illegally, what is morally right? to kill that person or to help that person be a productive citizen? or is it better for criminals to be punished in jail only to commit the same crimes when they get out, or truely try to rehabilitate them the RIGHT way? most people who commit crimes or immoral acts don't have a life anyway so how is jail punishment?what i am ultimately saying is our system is flawed, but the peole living within the system are feeding in to it and not standing up to what is truely right. death penalty is nothing new. instead of choping someone's head off, we are injecting them with a poison. why not keep choping heads off? because society deemed it unacceptable. so basically we drew a line over time of what is right from wrong. killing someone is ok, but how you kill someone might not be ok.in the united states, we have currency on it that clearly states "in god we trust". so i have to ask, in god we trust for what? isn't it him who judges what is right from wrong and lays down his own laws? anyone who believes in him clearly knows that he brings life so why do people think it's up to them to take life away and not trust in god to judge these people in his own time? i am not really a religious person, but when "in god we trust" is printed on our currency and god was implimented in our pledge of allegience, religion plays a role in this somewhat since the majority of people living in the world believe in god.i have said it before and i will say it again.... if we can't help people in society but rather take the easy way out, then we learn nothing about life and the potential inside us all, and that is truely a shame!

haha good answer, and it is TRUE! i think there SHOULD be an option to transfer any credits earned to a paypal account though. even though it might seem like bad business, it could attract a lot more people to the forum to post and a way to allow people to earn a little more extra money online. since we can't even transfer credits to another account yet, i don't see this happening anytime soon

ok. i read your whole post. some of it i understood, some of it, it was hard to understand. i will tell you this much though of what i DO understand that you don't right now.you aren't being real. what i mean by that is that you are so stuck on this whole knowing yourself business and being true to your character, it's creating a distraction of what is REAL and NATURAL. you're a certain way, yes, but you are too young to know that THAT is truely who you are and how you will be the rest of your life. life is strange. sometimes you have to go with the flow without creating rules that can be a distraction OR a wall to other things that are meant to be.i think this is a new experience for you. i am actually kinda excited for you at the same time even though this has to be very uncomfortable for you. take this opportunity to know more about yourself without the distractions that are popping up with you thinking you know yourself fully right now. you'r young and there will always be more to learn about yourself through your experiences as you get older and wiser.also take this opportunity to understand why you can't take your eyes off her and why it's so hard to do so. also understanding why she couldn't take her eyes off you and why it's hard for her to stop as well.you're making mistakes. that's ok. you're not an idiot. the idiots are those that don't make mistakes or screw up sometimes after taking a chance because those who aren't making mistakes aren't doing ANYTHING. that's not a life to live so you are on the right track.don't give up. don't be embarrassed. don't be shy. at the very LEAST, write her a letter stating how you feel. there is obviously a mutual connection but during this time, you both have felt the other rejected the other. you both are feeling the same things. what you are feeling now, she is probably feeling so try to understand her through how YOU are feeling right now. once you grab hold of more understanding to this situation, the easier it will be to approach her without feeling rejected or stupid or out of place.i disagree with the advice given above 100%. sometimes we have to push ourselves out of our own comfort zones to know what is right from wrong. to make those mistakes and learn from them. to push ourselves to be better people until we die.what i see between you and this girl is a mutual connection. stop letting her friends be the go between. approach her and get it over with whether her friends are there or not. they already know what's going on anyway. whatever you do is going to get back to them so it's not really that important that you have to approach this scarlet privately. also, if they didn't approve of you for their friend "scarlet", they would never be approaching you on their friend's behalf. read between the lines bud.lastly, you have an opportunity here to experience something that you would not normally experience if you keep this loner attitude. this connection between you and her happened naturally DESPITE how you wanted to keep in character of who you think you are and what type of life you want to lead. let it continue to happen naturally. learn something new about yourself. and for god sakes, be honest with this girl. let her know you're an idiot in this area. allow her to help guide you in to helping you feel more comfortable when you feel out of place right now. and whatever you do, STOP AVOIDING HER! if you feel like making eye contact, MAKE EYE CONTACT. LOOK AT HER if that is what is guiding you NATURALLY. don't fight nature. you will only be hurting yourself AND her.good luck. let me know how it goes.

i agree. some response is better than none but there should be no reason to be off topic. that's what the "create a new topic" button is for also, there is more to this forum than just users posting. there is the back end of the business which requires posts to be ON topic for seo purposes and the purposes of people actually reading on topic discussion if they are searching for something specific.the board is slow because the admins have let the forum go for other things. they are sacrificing the short run for the long term goals that lie ahead in the future. i however don't agree AT ALL how it was handled though. many users left and might never return again because now they are on to bigger and better things that take their time. after this transition for Xisto, the admins will have to almost start over from scratch to get dedicated people for the long term success of this forum. i don't think they realized how much the actually sacrificed for this long term success. opaque is the owner though. he has the right to do whatever he wants with this site. if people don't like it, they can leave. that would be THEIR choice....and this is what has happened.....

get rid of your adsense all together. you aren't making enough where it's beneficial to compromise the professional look of a website. you also don't want users to click away from your site to find another breeder.

i would highly suggest you open a gmail account and transition slowly for your business. also, it's easier to get an email for your domain through gmail. it looks a lot more professional. keep your hotmail for previous customers/family/friends until you can let them all know to get to know your new email address. in bani's words, you are so 2000. change is sometimes good

i agree. his picture of two left feet was pretty funny now can we get back on topic? geeeeeez......

wow. that is crazy about that cow. let us now how it goes and how much hamburger you got out of it. is that why you are depressed? :)i've never considered a bucket list myself. there is so many things i would love to do in life, but i also know there is just not enough time to do all of it. i enjoyed the movie though with jack nicholson and morgan freeman.

sorry bud, been busy and will be for another week and a half.very quickly though, i can prove life holds purpose just by pointing out that males have a penis and females have a vagina. their bodies produce both a sperm and an egg SPECIFICALLY for producing life. if you are going to try to tell me that life holds no purpose, then it goes against the nature i specifically gave as an example above. but if you are going to continue to say i didn't prove there was a purpose, i would have to ask YOU, where's the proof that there ISN'T a purpose. i will bet you i cann list more things that make sense that suppose a purpose to life than you can to list things that support anything that says that life has no purpose. :)you have to understand bani. it's not just one thing that can prove a purpose to life or a structure to it. it's a whole bunch of things. many smaller things that when you know what they are, combine them as one, you can more easily see the structure and then the purpose in GENERAL. when you want to be specific in death like suicide, we have to be specific to THE PERSON who is going to commit suicide, no? since his or her purpose in life would be different than someone elses. i can more easily explain a person's purpose if you give me someone as an example who has already commited suicide. i can show you life WITH that purpose and life WITHOUT that purpose being fullfilled.i remember when i was in my 20's and i had a driving job, i looked out the window to notice life and the people in it. people on the freeway, a bunch of people constructing new buildings, people walking somewhere, etc..... it was the first time i ever questioned lifes purpose because people in general just looked like a bunch of ants scrabling around going in different places with no real purpose organization. we just WERE. we were just THERE or we are just HERE. that's it. no purpose no nothing. well, i learned a lot since then. i don't know if i can show the proof you are asking,but i will certainly try to argue my point in what i personally know exists. i also understand that believing in something and knowing something are two different things. when i talk though, i sorta mix what i know with what my beliefs are because they work together that way. i also understand that you are asking me to PROVE a purpose without me imaginaing or making up a purpose.i will have more time to talk later....

you're a student? i would brush up on your writing skills because i didn't understand a thing you said.

yea i agree with you/ parents have to lay down the law and nip things in the bud at a young age so they don't get to used to certain things. i was just trying to explain how if you want to force a child, it doesn't work sometimes. i think the drinking and driving and the drugs are a bad analogy though. even though i don't believe in drinking and driving for some people and drugs for some people, i don't agree with the laws in place so you lost me there. now let me tell you a secret i learned a long time ago about life, children, and parents. parents can guide their children with morals and values and those morals and values will usually stick. but anything you guide the child aside from morals and values will usually NOT stick because children aren't supposed to live their lives as their parents did. parents only teach what they know. they guide no further than that. when the child starts growing up, people and enter their teenage years, people call it the rebellion years. in fact, children aren't rebelling, they are just coming to terms with who they are. it's the parents who aren't understanding that one simple fact and they use a term like rebellion to blame the kids. that's my little secret on a side note, some of the best music, poetry, and art were created under the influence of drugs. also, people have different tolerences to alcohol. if a person can drive safer if they have had a few compared to someone who doesn't drink, why should we limit that person not to drink a couple even if they are above .08? parents will always want what is best for their kids....but being more specific, what they THINK is best for their kids. sure, kids make mistakes and can be a handfull and problematic, but one of the biggest problems to is parents who don't try to see beyond what they know. they are raising someone who is different than them. NOT the same as them. growing up, i was raised to eat fruits and vegetables. salads was usually part of our dinner. i remember when i was trying to get some kid to eat salad and he kept refusing. i kept insisting he eat what was made.....especially the more healthy food like the salad. well he finally gave in and started choking to death on the salad. it was one of the funniest things i ever witnessed. sad at the same time though so i told him he had enough and congratulated him for at least trying it. i never fixed this kid a salad again even though i knew it was healthy for him. that is why i am more in to giving alternatives. your right though. bribing a kid works. there are only two motivators that really work. pleasure or pain. obviously bribing a kid falls under the pleasurable category and should be used before pain...such as sending a kid to his room or spanking a child or limiting his playtime etc. and i don't believe in spanking at all. the actual only time i will ever hit a kid is if he does something that could have gotten him or someone else killed. anyway, i'm not a parent and never experienced everything in regards to parenting, but i am not new to kids and your right, i am still stubborn the only difference is, back when i was a kid, i had no logical thinking to my stubborness. now i do only because i see more than one side to any situation now so it's less selfish stubborness

first of all bani, you can't outlaw suicide. if someone wants kill themselves, they will kill themselves and that's the end of it. i will try to read between the lines though.first let me say that suicide is wrong. before i get in to why it's wrong let me say that i will never promote suicide, but i have no problem with it as long as a person is making a rational decision for him/herself without emotions controlling that decision. i will always be 100% in favor that everyone is in control of their own bodies. just like abortion. i don't promote it or agree with it for the most part, but i feel the woman should have ultimate control of her own body and life. so basically if everything is cut and dry(and it isn't), i am pro choice.problem is.....and it's a big problem, most suicides are based on emotions. emotions have no brains, therefore there is usually no logic behind suicide. in fact, a lot of suicide attempts are a cry for help. it's not that they want to die, it's that they want someone to see them....see their pain. unfortunately a lot of these cries for help end up in real suicide attempts because nobody was paying attention to the signs.why is suicide wrong in general? because i believe in a deeper meaning in life. within that deeper meaning, i can say that everyone is born with a purpose. everyone is born with something specific inside them that makes them stronger in certain areas of life than other people. with that said, everyone has a gift they need to recognize to help people around them and society in general. when a person takes their life, the world is left without that gift that could have influenced many people in a positive way. they aren't only killing themselves, they are killing much more than that and taking away what could have been. it's also wrong because like i said, most suicides happen without logic or rational thinking, but under emotional distress. if suicide was right, and everyone just commited suicide, our population would eventually drop down to zero. i also believe that life and death re both connected. we don't chooseto be born, so why should it be right that we should choose to die? there is a purpose beyond our control in life AND death and when we try to control nature, nature becomes unnatural. this is backed up by my previous statement that our population would drop down to zero. my personal believe is that part of our purpose in life is to learn. we learn in this lifetime. i also believe in reincarnation so i believe we continue to learn the more lifetimes we experience. to kill ones self is to halt the learning experience until on can be reborn. i also believe in a spiritual realm where we are also made to learn until we are ready to be reborn again in the flesh. i believe in this never ending cycle of life and death based on many things including personal personal experiences. when i put all the pieces together from the puzzle i call life, which includes death, it's really as simple as adding 1+1.sometimes suicide is right when it fullfills a purpose. i believe that sometimes people are born just to die. to make people think. to make people open their eyes. to allow people to learn from their mistakes. i believe life is a lot about people and learning from other people. most people look at suicide as a bad thing and don't really open their eyes to see the good that suicide sometimes offers. especially in these times of technology and living in the fast lane where a lot of people are too busy to take notice to the people and things that surround them....even the little things that nature provides. in some ways, suicide provides a wakeup call to many people who are otherwise too preoccupied to notice the signs of someone in distress. we learn from it, we take more notice in the future, and in the end, society as a whole is a better place because of it.most people aren't born to die though. i believe with every problem, there is a solution. even though the solution isn't apparent, doesn't mean there isn't one. what's more important than allowing suicide is allowing people who are under emotional distress to get the help they need. i feel that if a person fails in their suicide attempt, the government or at least society should step in and try to do everything in their power to help that person. people have their own definitions of help though. doctors like that quick fix where they give you medication to make you act like a zombie so your thoughts aren't clear and thinking about suicide. what they fail to realize is that when you put a person in a state of uncaring, they are more likely to reattempt suicide but because they are no in an uncaring state, their chances of succeeding in killing themselves increase. this is why if you do your research, there are now warning labels on certain depression medications of suicidal tendencies. people need meds to so their chemical imbalances can become balanced, yes, but they need much more help than that. and i do believe the government should step in. someone has to or it totally defeats the whole purpose of life.now one my reasons for a purpose of life goes a lot deeper than what i am about to say, but one thing that semi proves that there is a purpose is that people are compelled to live. that's why most people don't kill themselves even though they may be under severe emotional destress. people are fighters for their life in general. i think this is part of an answer you were looking for bani without my personal beliefs. people don't live just to breath. if that was our only purpose then you'd see many more people killing themselves because the world can be awefully cruel to most people in it. the cruelty isn't cruelty at all though as some people would see it. the "cruelty" is actually the learning experiences we have to go through in life to better ourselves. most people understand this concept and a higher purpose in life or more people would just off themselves.aside from all that, i have a a personal experience with suicide because i tried to kill myself once. i wasn't reaching out for help. i didn't write s suicide note. i didn't succeed because i made the mistake of calling someone 1500 miles away. in the meantime, i had taken about 50-100 pills and tons of alcohol to wash them down with. i really don't know what happened after that for the next 24 hours but i was meant to live. there was another time where it really wasn't a suicide attempt, but me trying to prevent someone else from committing an attempt on their life when they were laying a bunch of pills in front of them and ready to start taking them. i took them all inside me myself. the reasoning rather than tossing them is they would still be available to that person. i also wanted to make this person realize who suicide affects others. i wanted this person afraid of what might happen to me so after i took them, i walked out the door and down the street to the park where i hid for a bit. i got tired really fast. but again, it wasn't my time and i hope a lesson was learned. i had a friend who commited suicide. he hung himself from his parents garage door at the age of 14. WAY too young to die, but he did. i've talked with many people about suicide and their thoughts about their suicidal tendencies. you can pretty much say i have experienced it all where suicide is concerned. i understand almost every aspect of it.what i have learned through the years is that suicide isn't about suicide. it's about the the pain people feel. people look at people who commit suicide differently than i do. they see a person kill themselves because they don't feel loves, or they lost their job and can't support their family, or lost all their money in a stock market crash....etc...etc...etc. i don't see it like that because i would be viewing them all differently. but every single on of them has something in common and that is what i like to focus on. the one thing is pain. it doesn't matter how the pain originated. they are all experiencing pain whether it's physical or emotional. the only difference is the degree of pain and the pain tolerance a person has.bani- even though you are unwilling to state an opinion right now, i can already tell your thinking is all wrong and i'll tell you why. you insist people use "rational reasoning" but rational reasoning is all relative. who are you to say that beliefs don't have influence in rational reasoning? look at my facebook wall and notice the little kid playing the gutiar. you think he learned how to be talented? no buddy. nobody learns to be that talented. he was born to know things and just because someone can't prove what they know doesn't mean that knowledge doesn't exist or rational thinking isn't taking place. there is a balance in life of good and bad. i don't believe in the bible as a whole, but i do believe in bits and pieces of it and it holds some truth. the world was never meant to be a perfect place, it was only meant to have a perfect system.now i talk about my beliefs without going in to great detail of why i believe what i do. it's not complicated but it's complicated to explain. it's all my experiences all wrapped up in to one thing. life. i know more about suicide than most. i don't have to prove it that's just the way it is when i have experienced most aspects of it from personal to non personal(actually it's all personal to me when i think about it). i will give you one reason why i believe their is a higher power and a higher purpose most people don't realize even if others have faith in a god or a higher power. there was about 5 instances in my life where i should have died. i am really died. i have starred death defying experiences in the face and survived. the suicidal attempt was just one of them. another biggie was when i rolled my car 75 yards at 70mph without a seatbelt, getting thrown out of the car without a scratch on my except a tiny cut on my forehead. i survive certain experiences which always strengthened what i already knew about myself. if i can believe what i do about myself, then i definately believe the same beliefs in others. those death experiences are just a few pieces to many pieces of the puzzle i have put together. life after death? i am one of the best amature photographers out there and i have taken pictures of things that i have no explanation for. some of the pictures can be seen on my myspace page. people can say i altered them in some way, but i have never altered an original picture in my life unless it was in the darkroom using black and white film. the pictures i have taken in the past just reinforce what i already knew. you say let's not talk about the super natural, but why do you want to illiminate the super natural if the super natural exists? answer me that? it's something i know as fact. i can tell stories of personal experiences and people would think i'm crazy so i don't talk much about them.so bani, although i believe in pro choice and if a person wants or needs to die, it should be allowed, i am against suicide personally because i know people for the most part have a higher purpose in life than killing themselves and there is no doubt that not fullfilling those purposes in life that people are born with is a shame....wether they commit suicide or live to an old age learning nothing about life or themselves. but to end with something more suitable to what you want, men are born with a penis, women are born with a vagina. we are meant to pro create. NOT to pro create only to end our lives in an unnatural way through suicide no matter what age(for the most part). if we can't interfere and help those who are feeling suicidal, i would have to ask what the world has come to and shake my head in disgust.

i rest my case. your posts speak for themselves. now we can get back on topic without interruptions....

my disregard for females? no. it's my disregard for you. you say one thing which is that you don't care about this place and you aren't going to be around, then you do something totally different and stick around. it's like you have two left feet and don't know where or how to walk. you criticize this place but don't do anything to help it. you're a hypocrite and you cannot be trusted with any words you utter out of your mouth. your like a little girl wearing high heels for the first time. so yea, grab your purse you whiny little baby. you can't even figure out the analogy. i don't really blame you being a baby and all, but you will have to grow up eventually. ya know? the only reason why you're sticking around is because i am giving you the attention you need like all babies need. make sure to cry me a river to tell me when your next feeding time is.disclaimer: it's not that i have any disregard for babies, it's my disregard for YOUyoutube.com/watch?v=qS7nqwGt4-Iremind you of anyone? poor kid. he wont stop whining and crying....

i like web designers tactic. i don't think forcing a kid what they don't want to eat should be a tactic ever. i don't like sheepdogs first tactic of bribery and limiting a dessert just because the kid doesn't like a food. i do however love the idea she made of an option and alternative to at least get the healthy stuff inside the growing body.i remember when i was a kid, my parents would make me sit at the table until i was done with my plate or they would actually tell me no dessert. i used to throw my food away in the trash when nobody was looking but my mom caught on to that so then i would roll it up in a napkin and hide it behind other things in the cupboard. it was pretty disgusting when i sometimes forgot to come back later to throw it away and find it all moldy....or worse yet, have my mon find it when she was cleaning :)my mom's last tactic was to sever the portion and just tell me to try it. i was told i have to try at least everything once just to see of i like it. that always seemed to work best for me. just taking a couple bites. it was better than them trying to force me and the sooner i knew the sooner i got up, the sooner i could be doing something i enjoy. i was a really stubborn kid. nobody would be able to force me to do anything i didn't want to do including my homework. i was a handfull, but i was also about principles at a young age. if my parents were going to play games with me, i would show them that i can hold out longer than they can.so being one of those stubborn kids, i can tell you the best option is probably to give an alternative just like what sheepdog suggested, use web designers great psychological tactic, or just tell them it's ok if they don't eat it, but tell them they still have to try it. eventually, you will know the kids likes and dislikes and fix food appropriately while still serving the kid a healthy meal. don't ever try to force the kid. just try to compromise with him or her.also, you have to understand that everyone is different and has different tastes. and everyone's body is different and will react different to different foods. i also know that some kids like or dislike food based on texture so you have to keep that in mind too. what you DONT want to do is make the kid feel like he's being punished for something that really isn't the kids fault. it could leave a bad mark on the kids spirit. also remember that be carefull in these types of situations when raising a child because they will raise their kids the same way you raised them usually. so you think you're just raising one or two kids when really, you are responsible for future generations even after you're long gone dead in the grave

yea, we heard your opinions already. why come back 2 hours later and repeat them? it makes absolutely no sense.all the points you have made are also bogus. especially how a host can't host itself. you are lying to make someone else look bad. that to me invloves karma which wont work out to well for you in the long run. it's pretty pathetic when you have to lie to make others look bad.i know i argue a lot in here my own self, but i don't lie to make a point. why don't you just grab your purse and go somewhere where you feel more at home. i heard the other forum bikerman is a part of needs more cronies. and followers. maybe try that one since you like kissing his butt anyway.this isn't the vent. this is "save the forum". you're acting like a little girl who just stubbed her toe. now grab your purse and get a move on. i know it's hard to walk in those high heels, but i think you can manage. you always have before.

yea, and people will always remember how supportive you have been through these times and when ks upgrades.for someone who doesn't care about the forum, you really have a lot to say. i think you need to go take your meds now and relax.i take it by your tone and attitude, you have no intention of helping this forum in any way whatsover so your opinion and post is pretty much meaningless and utterly worthless in this thread where others actually care about this place. hopefully when this forum gets it's act together, i wont be seeing you here since you've made it clear you have decided to leave.

this is your last conversation with me until now. this was in your public status that i was referring to in my last post... you see? i'm not really the one with the hair up my butt. here's the facts. when entered the chat room, i had warned people to enter at their own risk. yea, i said you could be doing a better job for a position that was allowed to you to do. you're no different than any other mod who isn't doing their job. you're in fact no different than buffalo help who really isn't a help at all either recently and he's an admin. so tramp, you can cry over my opinion of how things are being run here all day long. i personally don't care. if i cared what people think of me, i would kiss their butts. my only intention here is to make this place a better place. if you took offense to anything i said, then maybe what i said was true.....otherwise, there wouldn't be anything to take offense over and you would just know i am full of crap. but this isn't the case. the problem you had against me in the other thread was the fact that i was defending people who use article spinners when web designer blatently called those people unethical. listen pal, when people can sling those judgements, then it's time they be judged too. i love wd as a friend but i'm not going to sit there saying nothing when obviously she knows nothing about article spinners or the people who use them. so lets break this down, you didn't like my opinion of how moderators should do their job so ya hate me. i responded to your status saying maybe it should be the signature of the month, so ya hate me. i stood up to people calling other people unethical so you hate me. you claim i like to argue....yea......sometimes.....so you hate me for that too. you tell me to go away in your status message and i never said another word to you. it's you who wants to confront ME for some unknown reason. that's ok though. i know people love and hate me at the same time. it's not about me though. it's about you and you having a bad day,week,month,year....and even being born. why blame me? i ain't your parents. if you want to vent out all your frustrations, i am all for it if it makes you feel better, but i want to set the record straight that it ain't me who has the problem. it's you. maybe you should post about it instead of keeping it all inside you until you find the first person to blow up on. and again, yes.....when people take on a position to help this forum, you're suppose to HELP IT. any moran with a brain can understand my position. read my outburst on the mods and admins in the past and the support i got because of how the forum is being run. coming in for a couple days after being away and doing nothing for 2 month doesn't cut it as a moderator in my opinion. are you just another wannabe who likes the status like buffalohelp? i mean, you really aren't modding anything.....are you so it must be that you just like the status of being a mod without actually being one. don't get me wrong, you were good at what you did when you did it......you just don't do it anymore and haven't for a very long time. don't expect me to treat you any different than anyone else around here when i feel a fire needs to be lit under peoples butts sometimes. and let me set the record straight tramp, we don't need more mods here. we need more mods who PLAY AN ACTIVE ROLE. that's why i said what i did to you that day. you need to play an active role. yea, this is a volunteer job, but it's still a job and people should take it seriously. i personally get sick of seeing people lying around on their *bottom* here because they use the excuse that they are too busy. it's a LAME EXCUSE. if people are too busy, then they are taking on too much in life and need to let go of certain things so they can actually do a good job in what they do. not a lame job or a mediocre job in what they do because they decided for their own selves to take on too much responsibility. yea.... so pretty much step up or get out. normally i wouldn't put it in those terms but you wanted to press the issue. as far as the chat room? yea, it was a private conversation. nobody else was in there. i confronted you on certain things when we were alone as it should have been. i wouldn't have normally made ya think like that if anyone else was in the room....but now you are just asking to be criticized in public. so be it.

yup! step up or resign. you have offered VERY little in a year here yet i still see your mod status. it's really quite ridiculous if you ask me. it's also a shame that the only posts you have made recently were negative things about me. if you have a problem with my beliefs that moderators should do their jobs, then boo hoo. go cry somewhere else. i met you in chat 3 months ago and you are still hanging on to it like a baby. even when i commented on your status which wasn't even offensive, you had to cry a river. personally, i feel the vent is the best place for your cry baby tactics but still inappropriate. if you have something against me, stand in line pal. it's quite long. the reason why i kept reminding you that you were off topic is because you WERE and you kept ignoring one of the main rules of Xisto. as a mod, you should know better. it just strengthens my arguement about you if you want to get in my face. look in the mirror before you start judging people kyle. like i said, you're the pot calling the kettle black. your a smart guy. act like it. if you're depressed again about something, keep it off the forum. really, when was the last productice post you have made man? it certainly wasn't when you were talking about me....when was it?you don't have time for your online activities but you have aenough time to stir up crap? that makes absolutely NO sense bud if you REALLY have something you want to talk about, you can pm me. i deleted my messages so there should be enough room for your rantsbtw- think twice next time you want to talk about personal conversations between you and i. next time, i will just have to do the same if that's how we are playing this game.now with that said.....will you be my valentine? it's valetine's day and i really think you need a hug....

if you think my arguement here makes little sense, then maybe you shouldn't be replying to this thread. you want to attack me personally without any regard to the on topic discussion? why? because i am a prick? get a clue. either contribute something valid or don't contribute at all. or maybe start helping deadmad who has basically been doing your job as a mod. i attatcked you? this is the first time you said anything in this thread and it was way off topic. if you want to attack people in the future intentionally, i suggest you pm them in private if you have a problem. otherwise, keep your spew off the threads where it has no purpose to provide anything productive. either start being a mod, or resign from being one. simple as that. next time you want to try to attack me without any purpose or meaning, i will give in to your childesh tactics and have a go at you because you're the pot calling the kettle black.

i am not mad nor angry. the difference between you and i is that i don't care what people think of me. that's why i can get away with being blunt. i know your in a desperate situation. that is why i have been firm because you sound like you'd do anything right now even if it meant making more mistakes to try and fix this situation and dilema. would i tell the truth if i was in your shoes? you bet i would! but then again, i would never be in your shoes to begin with. the reason i know drinking isn't an excuse is i used to go out and drink all the time, but i never cheated on anyone in my life. it would be hard to hurt the person i love if i ever did. it would be hard to tell them what i did, but i would tell them because it's not about me. it's about THEM too. THEY have a right to decide who they want to be with.....someone who will cheat or someone who will not cheat. i would tell them because if they decide to leave me, i will know in my heart i probably deserve to be left and the only thing that would be holding me back is my own selfishness. i would also tell him because i know i have to be accountable for my actions or i learn nothing. if i learn nothing, then it's easier to cheat. i strive to be a better person every day of my life which means doing the things i don't want to do. i have to force myself sometimes. and it's hard. in the long run though, it works out for the best. staying on course with good morals and values which allow me to make better decisions in my life as i get older makes me stronger and wiser. it really doesn't help me much in the short run because life can really suck sometimes, but in the long run, it's invaluable. i mean it's really about just asking ourselves simple questions until we realize the truth. simple questions like.... do we want to be honest? or a liar? do we want to be selfish? or unselfish? after people can answer those simple questions, then they can ask themselves harder questions like....should i lie just to keep someone happy or tell them the truth which will not make them happy. this isn't about the lie either. it's the degree of the lie. mean, if you stole $20 and felt guilty, you would have no problem confessing. it's a truth you would be more willing to admit. does a person deserve to know who stole from them? ofcourse they do. your in the same situation as that, just a different degree. are they going to be happy you stole money? heck no. they trust you. they would probably hide thier wallet or purse everytime you came over until they can trust you again. will this guy be happy you cheated? ofcourse not. he'll probably leave you for a while until he can decide for himself if it's worth it trying to trust you again. yes, people get in to relationships because it makes them feel better than not being in one. but a relationship is much much more than selfish thoughts. it's about making the other person feel happy too. if you decide it's ok to keep things from your boyfriend or lie to him or do things behind his back that you know he wont like, then i am sorry, it doesn't matter HOW he makes you happy, you aren't in a relationship because a relationship is about sharing....the good AND the bad. and let me tell you something missy that you fail to understand. if i wanted to talk about how it's about you right now, than i would still tell you to tell him because every day you're with him, your going to have this conscience and guilt eating at you. if you're a good person inside, then you will definately be miserable keeping this stuff hidden from him. i PROMISE you that. you're going to start feeling bad about yourself and worse over time. this will lead to other things that will SURELY end the relationship in the future. also, when two people are with eachother, they sort of know their little patterns that is hard to recognise otherwise. your boyfriend may already know that something is strange or wrong but can't put ihis finger on it......no matter how hard you try to keep it from him. also, if the truth that you tried to hide from him ever comes out, you lose him for SURE. it's as simple as that unless he's a fool. if i was the guy, i would have to think long and hard after you told me the truth. but if i found out from someone else besides you, i wouldn't have anything to think about. i would know you not only cheated on me, you intentionally lied and kept things from me. you're sober now. you can't use alcohol as an escuse. i would say goodbye and not look back. everything what i've said in my last messages and this one is why you need to tell him despite how it will make him feel and you feel. it's all bad, it's just being honest is the lessor of two evils in the long run. if you don't want to stop this guy who is harrassing you, that's up to you. don't bring up a situation which you make sound desperate if your not willing to stop him LEGALLY. the other alternative is to avoid him. NOT read his texts or his voice mails. just delete them as they come through. or talk to your cell phone company to see how you can block his incoming calls or texts or how you can change your #. you're gonna make excuses why you can't do that either? also missy, i have to say this again that i don't feel you are ready for any relationship. you need time to get to know your own self before sharing a part of your life with others. you don't need a guy and to be honest, you don't sound too happy even if there is a guy in your life. just remember, a guy wont ever be a fix to your problems. it's probably a good idea to take a break from this relationship for a while anyway so it give you and him a chance to think on things and what's best for your futures. if you can have that mindset before you tell him, it will make it easier if he doesn't want anything to do with you. btw- you mentioned about if a guy cheats it's ok, and if a girl cheats, all hell breaks loose? no missy....cheating is bad no matter who does it. it takes two people to cheat on one person. for example, your in a relationship and cheated. that's obvious. but your ex ALSO cheated knowing you were already in a relationship. he's just as guilty in hurting this guy....your current boyfriend. and let me tell you something....the only reason why your ex is blackmailing you is because he thinks your a pushover and will give in to his demands. the only way do defeat it is to not be a pushover and mentally WEAK. he's using you...but since he knows you, he is going after your weak points. he's black mailing you because he CAN. let me tell you a little story about cheating from a real life experience. a buddy of mine came up to me an confided that he was cheating on his wife. now i've known both of them before they were ever married. his wife was also a friend. what my buddy told me haunted me. i didn't want to live with this secret and my other friend deserved to know what was going on. so after a week, i told her. eventually they got a divorce and i lost a friend. guess what? i would do it again because it was the right thing to do! they had two kids together. they had a chance to work through things and go to counseling and stuff and try to save the marriage and family. i don't feel guilty about breaking up a family...the truth and honesty allowed them both to make decisions based on the truth and honesty. but guess what? i warned my friend to tell her before i did. he didn't take me up on it. it looked twice as bad on him that he didn't come clean and try to change his ways.