anwiii

hey bud, glad you posted an introduction. it's a pretty cool place here with pretty cool people. don't sweat the spelling. i am sure we can learn from eachother in one form or another.i noticed you just posted some of your writings. i will try to get to them soon. i am not much of a writer OR reader myself. i did catch a glimpse really quick before retiring to bed tonight and you seem to be very creative, imaginative, and have found a calling. try to focus on the good in that rather than pretending to be someone you aren't.i have a few questions, but i think i will wait to ask them over time. if you want to take your writing seriously though, if your going to post your writings, create your own blog. otherwise, i wouldn't suggest sharing them until you are ready to publish them online or offline. there are too many thiefs out there that can and will steal your work. you don't want that to happen.anyway, let me be the first to welcome ya to Xisto. if you ever need anything or wish to talk about anything, shoot me a pm....

please.....let's not joke about the end of the world. the most important thing to consider here is that bani is throwing a party, and i'm coming!

i am sorry to hear that. listen, maybe you should start a new topic in the introduction category to allow people to get to know you better and to welcome you here. also, if you want to talk about your anger and your disappointments, we have the vent category to post in. i am interested in getting to know ya, but doing so in this thread will be a little off topic.....i am not worried about people knowing my ip address so you don't have to worry about talking to me in your secret coded language. your friends aren't watching either.....

you don't have to explain your "disabilities". to me. all you have to do is start being real in the thread you started. if in fact you really want to debate dragons, then act like it. let's hear your knowledge on them that will ultimately define your credibility which is in fact part of man's truths and man's lies that you posted about previously. is it not?if you don't know about the date i posted, you will soon. you have no choice.....as for me, i am not too interested in that date.....nor am i interested in portraying to be someone i am not. the only reason you got the lightest attention from jase is because you brought up an area he is interested and believes to a certain extent. not that he believed YOUR story.now are we going to debate about dragons? because i am all for it, but when you start off a debate with "dragons exist", i can't really consider that a debate opener nor does it even mean you have any knowledge about dragons or knowledge on the history of dragons and how they came to be.now you have avoided my question. i asked you where your parents are....

oh i KNOW it's no joke to you. that is why it's so upsetting and i wonder where your parents are to accept this transformation from their child. 11/08/11 is an important date for you i'm sure. now since when are myths and legends, truth? there are either myths, legends, OR truths. they aren't one of the same. please, don't ask me to research anything until you get past jr. high and learn to spell first. you don't have to sweet talk me about the truths of man or the lies of man. you haven't lived long enough to know about either. now don't get me wrong. i like your imagination, but don't come in here trying to debate a myth and use a forced writing style that is unbecoming of your true nature. your so-called beliefs lack realistic structure and doesn't come from any realistic "myth" or "legend". you're only knowledge comes from games and books and maybe even movies that you can find yourself trapped in, only to write about it in a debate category on a forum where usually only serious discussions take place. so if you want to have a serious discussion, drop the saphira act and lets talk about dragons

your parents must be very proud. is it that you've been playing games so long that you think your living inside them now? where are your parents to allow this transformation?

personally i think you should buy reliable car before you move out and work on your relationship with your dad. but if you insist on moving out, one option is to move out of state. to research the opportunities in the mid west where everything is 2 1/2 times cheaper than where you live now. you can get yourself settled in somewhere, find yourself at least a full time job and enroll in some classes.this will give you a chance to REALLY get away from your home, see part of the would and the culture outside of where you were raised. it would also be very affordable.like i said, there ARE drawbacks to moving out and sometimes it can have a more negative consequence than you've thought of. i can't in my right mind suggest for anyone to run away from their problems until they have exhausted most all other opportunitiesto solve their problems. it is true, distance sometimes makes a relationship grow stronger. it seems your dad is hellbent on being controlling which means when you move out, it will still be hard for him to be a "friend" and to transition in to one even after you move out rather than a "parent" who he has been your whole life. since you are already moved out, it will be a lot easier to shut him out and create even more distance. i hope you are aware of this consequence. i also hope you are aware that i don't think your mom will like this idea, and when she gets depressed after you move out, she may blame your dad. with his anger and attitude problem, you could be leaving your mom in an unhealthy environment over time indirectly. you see, your choices in this life will not just affect you, but those closest to you. this is why i feel it's best to take this time to try and work through things with your dad first. i know you don't see it now, but those things that irritate us and trouble us the most when we are young, are the things we start to appreciate more when we grow older. sometimes we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for too.one other thing i have learned about life is that we can plan all we want, but it doesn't mean our life will turn out the way we planned. there are a lot of crossroads and detours along the way. life would be easy if we could just plan it out and make a budget......but life isn't about that at all. think about what i've said. you are talking about a decision that will be one of the more important decisions you make in your life. make sure you have weighed all the pros and cons, and make sure you can live with what you will need to give up your own self whenever you make an important decision like this......because believe me....you WILL be giving up A LOT. you just may not know how much yet......

yea, there are a lot of misc. expensive people don't think about :)i would sell your car BEFORE it breaks down or if you find that you ever have to spend more than the car is worth. that way, you get the most out of it and can use that money for another car.....but i would definately go used in your case. new is great, but after your driving around in it your first day, it loses 5% if it's value straight away. a new car is a luxury. you want to keep your luxuries to a minimum until you know what you are able to afford.do you have a credit card? if not, i suggest you apply for one or two. use both of them every month and be sure to pay off the entire bill every month. you need to start to establish a credit rating and get your creditors to trust you. on of the cards should come from your bank where you have your checking account. you do have a checking account, right? when your bank starts trusting you, your interest rate on a car will be less which will make a purchase of a new car more affordable and it will offset the depreciation value when you drive the car off the lot. you want to start building your credit now though so when you do graduate or have the job you want, you will be able to purchase a house.southern cali can be tough. i was raised in the sfv all my life. i never made it past jr. college nor did i want to (pierce/valley college) but i was just the opposite. i was barely graduating in jr. high and high school but once i made it to college, i was getting a high b average. but then i was taking classes i enjoyed like bus/comp sci/photo/psych/soc/etc....thanks for sharing your situation with me. i think i understand a lot better. let me ask you though. are your parents paying for your schooling or are you? if they are paying for it, some of the same rules your dad is setting can overflow to wherever you move to. especially if he never liked your first choice as a major. if this is the case, you will have to try to take that control away from your parents too. moving out wont be enoughnow it seems to me you have too much on your plate. maybe it's wise to drop your part time job, keep a full time job, and go to school part time for now. it seems like you are just way to busy to do much right now and life is more than just working and studying. you need tim to enjoy yourself and relax. you also need time to think about YOU and your future. what YOU want to do with your life without other people being an influence. that way, you can start preparing yourself the RIGHT way before you move out. also, if you keep dropping your classes, you will eventually get suspended from school for a year so knowing what you are already going through, you need to lighten your load.now as i said before, i sense that you have a good head on your shoulders. have you talked to your dad about things? are you able? tell him you want to talk to him man to man. see what he says. you should be allowed to speak freely without insulting him or disrespecting him. try to explain to him how you don't work well when someone is always looking over your shoulder to succeed or fail. try to tell him you're not built that way and maybe suggest something to him that he can try to back off for a semester and just see if there is a difference. also, if music is your passion, you should be able to go to school for that or if you are being limited, it can just bring you down. part of college is supposed to be fun because it's the time when YOU decide what classes YOU want to take to prepare for your future. it's no fun if you're limited. it becomes a job. you really need to find a way to talk to your dad and find some common ground. you're an adult now. you still have to respect your parents, but you have more leeway as an adult even though they will always see you as their child(especially your mom). another alternative is to talk to your mom about things and maybe hope she can get your dad to budge a little bit in what you need to succeed while you're still living thereone option for you when you move out is to find a complete stranger to share the rent with you. look in the recycler or your local paper like the daily news. check your bulletin boards at school and even the school newspaper for ads.now if my math is correct, your 20 which means you have been attending college for 2 years now. the 3rd & 4th year is more towards your major after your first two years when your taking a lot of the stuff you learned in highschool + some electives(just your basic general ed stuff). since you have been dropping out of some of your classes those, you don't exactly have those two years under your belt yet.now let me ask you something. if you were to be a music major, what would you do with the degree? if you stay with psychology, what would you do with THAT degree? i know you mentioned relationship counseling, but would you be a psychologist? or a counselor/therapist? what exactly. what can you envision yourself doing? what can you picture for yourself when you take the time to know who you are to envision your future without guessing. you only have one shot at college unless you want to take classes longer than you had planned because you switched majors in your 3rd year. or even fully graduating only to realize a void because you strayed from your dream. as much as parents have a right to guide because they ARE your parents, only YOU will know what's best for YOU without any outside influence. basically there has to come a time when you ask your dad a simple question. that question is "do you want me to be happy"? it a question that will set him up for a man to man talk with him because ofcourse his answer will be that he wants you happy.as you know....since you want to help people in relationships, part of a son/parent relationship is letting go and knowing when to let go so the child can find his own way after being guided 18 years of his life. he takes with him the morals and values he was brought up with along with the love from a mother and the responsible mind set of the father. they have to learn to let go and sometimes it's the hardest thing a parent can do. as someone who might be studying psychology and socialogy, you know that there has to be an answer in how to deal with different types of people. practice on your parents. try to get through to them. you are not a child anymore. you may have to follow the rules while living under their house, but it doesn't mean they should be allowed to be unreasonable. you sound responsible enough to me. if your dad plans on controlling you all the time while you are living under his roof, how does he ever expect you to make it on your own without him? ask him this. he has to loosen the boot straps gradually now to prepare you and your free thinking for the real world. society lessons the boot straps. you aren't forced to go to school every day anymore, and if you do, they trust your old enough to choose your classes and prepare for your future. your dad has to understand this concept if he's thinking clearly.anyway, i really think you need to find a way to talk to your dad and even your mom if she can hold some influence and be supportive. you need to think about if moving out is even the right answer for you right now even if it does seem confining. you need to think long and hard in who you are and what you were born to be. find your natural talents and don't let anyone get in the way of pursuing your dreams which will incorporate your natural talents. sometimes moving out can hold more negative consequences than positive ones. along the way, you will make mistakes....but that's ok. you seem to be someone that can easily learn from them. when your parents allow you to do this and make some mistakes from your own choices you make for yourself, it will allow you to become a man and more well rounded in life's experiences and be stronger for it. after all, quoting one of my mentors, "if you aren't making mistakes, you aren't doing anything". i'm 43. i can tell you that that quote holds true on a very deep level because if you can't make mistakes and learn from them, you haven't even lived. when your dad is being controlling, he isn't allowing you to make mistakes....thus, not even allowing you to live. at the very most, all your doing is allowing him to live FOR you. that's not living.....

about the car- if it was me, i would keep it until i felt the engine was gonna go and then see how much i could get for it. i would buy a used car rather than a new car. you can buy used for the same price as a down payment for a new car. this will help you cut down on your bills and allow you to save more money faster and leverage your money.as far as your list of monthly expenses, it's a good basic list, but there are other things. when you move out, you will have to furnish your place and you will have to buy dishes, pots/pans and utensils and stuff. there are little things that can add up too like toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, dish soap, laundry detergent, and a bunch of other stuff you might use up that you need to buy. it's actually all those little things that add up that a lot of people don't think about when living on their own for the first time. there is also the issues of putting away for emergency purposes if your car breaks down or needs fixing etc....as far as not needing a phone, i believe if you get internet, you will need a basic phone plan. i figure both the phone and internet should be around $40-$60 depending on where you live. but to get a cheaper rate on a phone, you might qualify for some lifeline assistance. it can cut about 10-15 off your bill for low income. i really don't know if you would qualify for that since you seem to be working your butt off while going to school.i know how confining things can be living at home with your parents. once you move out, you will have to be prepared for all the responsibilities that come with living on your own. make sure your really ready before making this decision. it's a big step.i am also not quite sure if you're ready only because of your other thread you posted about. you need people around you right now no matter how irritating they are or confining it can make you feel. ultimately, you will know what is best for you though. you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you are doing well in trying to think of the things you need for your future. if you DO decide to move out, you might also want to consider a dog or a cat as a companion. living alone is great and you can get a lot done, but it can be lonely.whatever you decide though, i am sure you'll be ok. maybe you should talk all this over with your parents too and see what they think. i am sure they know you a lot better to give advice for your future than complete strangers :)edit:btw- i am curious what you are studying in school. are you parents being supportive?

strange you say that since you live in california now. not a lot of people in california go out of their way to act like that......but you're right.....they still do on some level.as you know, i used to live in california almost my whole life. when i moved to missouri 6 years ago, i noticed that people not only smile and willing to say hi, they will wave at you as you or they drive by. i was sorta confused by this behavior because the first time it happened, i was trying to figure out where i knew the person from. only an idiot would wave at ya if he/she didn't know ya :)when i go back home for visits, i would be lucky to pass by someone who wasn't too busy to lift their head up while they walk past me. los angeles though(where i was raised) is a lot different than most parts of of the state including the outskirts of san diego.middle easterners are secretive i have found and sometimes even a little shady in my opinion. i realized that when i was in school and some of my better friends were from other parts of the world. some types of people just like to keep to themselves or their own cultures and they don't feel comfortable smiling or talking to a stranger. i was lucky enough to befriend a few people around the world and be considered a part of their family to know certain traditions and cultures.as you know i am learning more about religious and cultural laws. although you are still keeping your religious beliefs in tact, you aren't bound be the cultural laws anymore which make it harder for women in the middle east to even communicate to a stranger. i knew that this would be something you would enjoy when coming to the u.s. or even other parts of the world. there are still a lot of things to get used to though. the thing i am tired of seeing in some parts of the country is the prejudice, or the division between cultures here. i would like to see a compromise between different cultures where it would be easier to mingle and share cultures. i know for me growing up and meeting friends who were from different parts of the world, it helped me to understand people better and make me more well rounded

if you wrote this post 5 years ago, then yes, it would be worth a try. right now though adwords has a lot of competition. you also need to learn how to create and manage caompaigns. so i would say "no" to the beginniner. i mean, you would have to create keyword lists and all that.don't get me wrong, you can drive a lot of traffic using adwords, but you would have to know how to write your ads for buyers and not people who are just looking around since each click costs money.i am not really going to go in to how adwords work, but i would say beyond a shadow of a doubt that it isn't for you, faten. not right now. you would most likely just waste your money which is very easy to do with adwords. if you are curious about it, you could search for some free adwords credits that float around if you know where to look, and set up your account to stop advertising after your credit has reached it's limit. do you have a credit card? beause i don't believe adwords will let you sign up without one.

i remember when i had broken up before. the other person did the breaking up. all i could think about was that it was a shame we couldn't work through things. everything was a shame because back then, i thought everything we experienced was for nothing. time wasted, and the idea of starting over with someone else eventually in the future just didn't appeal to me. i was stuck in the thought that the breakup was a shame and i couldn't see any further than that.i don't know where i heard this, but something else stuck in my head eventually when i was getting better at moving on. my thoughts weren't just coming from the love i had for her, but the IDEA of love and how *I* wanted the relationship to be and love to be. i realized that it was the IDEA of love i had inside me that hurt so much. not the breakup. this is why some women stay i very drastic unhealthy relationship....because it's not really the partner they are loving, it's the idea of love they have and the association with that idea with their partner. i am sure you weren't abusive. i just wanted to give a strong example of how the idea of love can be stronger than love itself and how some women will try to convince themselves that the guy will change to their idea of love. when i really grasped this concept of the "idea" of love, it helped me sort through my thinking patterns and why i was so devestated.i also remember thinking sometimes what i could do to change where she would accept me. i was so hell bent in trying to find HER answers that i failed to think about and realize my own answers to my own life. when my friends were talling me to buy better shirts and wear some pants that didn't have holes in then, and be more presentable in society so i would be able to attract women better(they knew i didn't date that often). i would just tell them that i didn't want to attract anyone that couldn't accept me for myself and who i am. if the day never came where someone could do that, then i would rather be lonely than live a lie. my point is bud, there is probably someone out there for you. you can't go searching for it or you'll never find it. you just have to be yourself and let nature take it's course and don't change for anyone because you are perfect the way you are. you have to believe that. sure, we guys are idiots sometimes and we make mistakes. i'm not talking about not changing those small things about us. we all have things to learn in this world and part of life IS to change in small ways to better ourselves.....not to impress people or get people to accept us.i am sure you have a lot going for you. you have to know what those things are. try to think about those things and don't be afraid to give yourself compliments in all the good things about yourself. boost your ego and self esteem a little. you need it. you're not a bad person bud....and somewhere out there, there are women who can appreciate you that WONT leave you.oh...and when she told you "i want to try to rely on myself first", that usually means that she noticed that she was trying to depend on a man to fill her voids. i think she realized it was unfair for herself and you. there are things she needs to do on her own where being in a relationship would be a distraction. guys tend to want to fix things if they sense something is broken. i also feel that this is a big part of who you are. what she's saying is she needs time for herself because she's never been given that opportunity before. it has nothing to do with you...but finding her own self. that's something you can't do for her.i also noticed something about you. you seem to be a VERY objective person. not subjective in the least. don't lose that skill right now and use it in your own life too rather than trying to figure other people out.

well i tried to search your site for the page with the articles you are talking about and couldn't find it. it's still a little vauge to me since you aren't using a cms platform for your articles. so are you going to write a script using a database or are you going to hard code your articles directly in the html? obviously, if you're writing your articles directly in the html, then it realy fairly easy to have an anouncement always stay on top. so i am assuming you are planning to build the page using a database? if so, what script are you using to do this? there is a reason why people use a cms for this sorta stuff ya know :)i highly suggest installing wordpress on one of your pages where you are writing your articles. it would make things a lot easier. i suggest wordpress because the other content management systems don't offer as much support or addons and plugins

first of all, don't wait for her. it's the worst thing you can do and you wont have any closure that way. probably the worst thing you can be going through right now is the unanswered questions, so take jase's advice and try to have a cup of coffee in a public place but with a little privacy if she's nice enough to give this to you. if not, you can't force her, and if you try, it will only make things worse.what seems to be the problem here in her eyes is the arguing. but it's more than that. don't take this the wrong way, because you sound like a cool and sincere guy, but there's a chance that the arguing comes from the expectations you are placing on the relationship. it's going to make her feel confined and not herself. even the slightest expectations.what i have learned, no breakup is sudden. it happens over time. the other person waits for the right time because they don't want to hurt the other person, but they find out that there never is a right time. sometimes for them, the easiest way to communicate it is through an arguement when the two are already feeling hurt.you two have a history together and it's going to be hard to get over that. believe me though, she is going through some of the same hurt even though it was her choice. don't blame yourself bud. it's not your fault. i am sure you tried your best to work through things. evidently your differences didn't compliment each other in some ways as you thought though.it is going to be hard because your thoughts are going to be on over drive thinking about her when if it was just a normal day being with eachother, you wouldn't have thought about her as much....maybe 1/2 the time instead of the thoughts being so constant. everything will remind you of her. songs on the radio.....the movies you watch.....couples in public.....and even just seeing someone walking alone that seems very happy. and even when you love her, you're just going to get these angry urges because you don't know why she did this. so no, i know it's not going to be easy.best thing you can do is find out if she's willing to talk to you and answer any questions you have for the closure you need. after that, you need to let her go. don't wait on her to change her mind. you're gonna kill yourself slowly if you do that. keep busy by starting new hobbies and hanging out with friends. the loneliest time will probably be at night when there's nothing to do but dwell. if you catch yourself dwelling about her, you have to stop yourself. if you are going to dwell, dwell on yourself. try to find the piece you need. try to find some answers on your own. try to understand your own life a little better and what you wish to gain from italso know that she isn't the only one out there. i've been in 3 relationships in my life and i learned from each and every one of them. i am currently in my fourth and i am learning even more from this one and she's giving me things that not even my past relationships gave me. it's really amazing. i say this because you really have to believe that you have a long way to go in life and to experience the things you need to experience to grow as a person. this breakup is meant to be for a reason bud. you have to realize this and understand WHY it is meant to be. it may be hard to realize this at first and you may even be upset that i even said it....but i know one day you WILL realize. you have no choice. you have to move on and you have to find a way to do that. you have to close this door. if you don't, other doors for you wont open to allow you to pass through them and experience the other things in life that you were meant to.....including possibly falling in love again, stronger than before.i am really sorry your hurting right now. i've been there. i know a lot of other people have too. it's crap and it feels like hell. i know you're going to overcome this over time though. life is funny though. even though you move on with your life, a piece of her will always be with you. a piece that made you stronger and able to handle your future experiences. life is funny because when you come to your true realizations about yourself, the misery you feel today will be transformed in to an appreciation. it's hard to see that now, but you willtry your best to get this closure you need so you can get on with your life. i wish you the best, man! i am here if you need a friend....

well do you use a content management system? i know wordpress has a sticky feature which can sticky a post. also, there are a couple plugins that can do what you are asking.

there's a joke in there, but i'm not sayin' it. i tried to research it myself, but i couldn't really find a good match. rvalkass could be correct though. it definately has similar variations to the hmmmm blue *BLEEP*. the larger picture is better, but still too fuzzy to make any accurate guess(for myself at least)

come on guys! the original poster posted this introduction over two years ago and has only 1 post. can some of you just get a clue already when responding to posts???

i know it may seem the same.....but what i was talking about is would giving a flower to another gay man hold the same affect as if a man gave a woman a flower? guys don't normally appreciate flowers and that kind of romance as much as women do. when i was hanging around my gay friends in my mid twenties, i would watch them and there did seem to be differences in the romance compared to straight couples. i always thought it was just because it was two guys and not a girl/guy relationship and romance is based on a persons preference even if the thought still counts.i know i never witnessed my gay friends giving flowers to their partners. i would see them kiss(yuck...i would rather see two girls kissing ) and i would have to turn my head haha, but as far as comparing a romance relationship between a gay and straight couple, i found there were differences, yet maybe it was only because they romanced each other more in privateso like i said, this is out of my area i think. plus, i was never good at romancing in my own life . i mean, i think i figured out what people need, i just always thought it's more important to just be yourself in a relationship.