Long Distance Relationship

[lawmatchmaker 0]

Hi guys, I'm in a long distance relationship with a French guy living in Switzerland. And frankly things are not going well. It is already very difficult not being able to see each other face to face , we have to use Skype to talk to each other. And he visited me like 4 months ago than he had to go back to Switzerland to work. Now things are bad between us, he has some financial problems so I sent him about US &50 to help him out and he's like working non stop, he has a day job working at a clinic and at night he does baby sitting, he speaks to me like just 5 mins a day. When I ask him not to do his baby sitting, he says he needs to because of the money...but later he admitted he did the baby sitting for free because he liked the people, so in a way he's secrificing our relationship for the baby sitting because we hardly ever get to speak any more. I've already been in this relationship for 1.5 years and I really don't know what to do about it. Should I admit defeat and just break it off...or should I struggle on? I just don't seemto matter to him any more, and when I complain to him, he just says hes tired and offs skype on me.

[LocalSeer 0]

Being in the Navy we get a lot of statistics and training on keeping together when we are at sea for 6 months at a time. The main key is communication and whenever you can set up a huge romantic vacation. If the guy isn't willing to do that, then I suggest you find someone better for yourself. Cause it'll just get worse unless you fix it and open up talking again, thats the secret and you can't do it with just one person. I'm sorry hun, but its hard and both parts need to be working together to keep it alive. Good luck.

[husker 0]

I don't think you should give up yet, but I think you should keep an eye open and maybe see if there's a better option for you. But, if you really like him a lot, just keep trying and don't give up.

[tuddy 0]

Long Distance Relationships can tell you a lot about your love for someone, if you can both overcome the distance, and still see each other, and be going strong after months/years then you have a great bond.It can take its toll those, you dont have someone there to hold you when things get rough. You can't easily talk etc. So make sure you treat it very careful.

[yellowhairedguy20 0]

I would sit down and have a talk with him. Tell him that he needs to make time for you or else you will end it. If he chooses his work over you, you should probably end it. If he truly cares about you, he will make the right choice and decide to spend more time with you.

[OpaQue 15]

The main question you have to ask yourself is...How long have you been in this relationship ?Do you feel it strong enough from both ends?Do you trust him?Do you see a bright future with him ?How much do you think, he respects you ?What do you think he would had done if your positions were interchanged?Here.. I am commenting and giving you some questions which can help you answer your "Questions". Try thinking logically and you might find it easy to know your answer.Here I have just laid down some things which came up my mind. Things like nature, age, character etx are very important.. So, frame your questions accordingly. And take your decision wisely. :-)

[PmH 0]

You really need to call him up, or use skype again, and sit down and talk about this. Tell him everything that's on your mind, communication is key (saw that being posted throughout this topic), and I really agree, if something is going to keep you together, then it's communication.But you've also got to be real with yourself, if you're getting serious about having a relationship with this guy, then you two can't always live so far away, so he has to show that he is willing to move for you, or let you move to his place, because if not, then this relationship will go nowhere. You can't be this far away from each other forever. Secondly, you also need to see this guy face to face plan a vacation or a trip or something so that you can see him, finding flights with short notice is hard, so hopefully you'll get lucky there.Then you've gotta sit down and really think about what it is you love about this guy, what it is that kept you two together for 1.5 years, and what it is that will keep you two together for another 1.5 years, and then another, and then another for the rest of your lives. See if there's enough between you two, see if there's enough to form a strong, lasting relationship. If you feel there isn't, then why waste your time and money on a dead end.I know it might sound harsh, and it might be hard to dump the man. But if you feel if there's no future with you two, then there really is no need to carry on and stress yourself with this long distance relationships. Distance relationships are very hard to maintain, and 1.5 years is very good, I'm impressed, so it's obvious that this isn't any normal relationship.I hope everything works out for the best!!

[iGuest 3]

Long distance relationship

Long Distance Relationship

 

Hello,

I need some help please

I am in a long distance relationship( different countries) for 1 year now.We had a problem about being able to meet when we started and we decided to be just friends. Three months later we started talking again about meeting and this time we decided we will go ahead with the relationship, no matter how far we are apart. We talk everyday and text each other most of the time.This guy told me he will be visiting me six months from now, and he is trying to find admission in the school I am so we could be together. He has known and met my sister face to face and he told my sister that he likes me and he cant wait to get married to me.Now my worries are, I think of this guy all the time and sometimes I think of my heart,because I don't want to be heartbroken in case he doesn't make it here.I don't have enough money to pay him a visit, because I have no source of income. Sometimes I think how should I make him happy and make him see I appreciate his effort of coming to see me ( since it will be our first time meeting). Any advice please is welcomed.

 

-question by dinesen

[iGuest 3]

need help:S:SLong Distance Relationship

five years ago I was living in the states but then I moved to ksa with my family for their work. a few months ago, I met this awsome guy and we became friends. But about a month ago, we both noticed that we like eachother. now we're both living in the same country, and we talk everyday. About a couple of days ago, we were disucssing were we are in the realtionship and he said he loved me. My mom studied pshycology and she met himLOL and told me that he was honest and the thing is I am in love wiith him too. The problem is that in a year or two I am going back to the states with my bro and mom for college. We don't know whats gonna happen then and we've both been worrying about how our relationship will continue. He's trying to get a visa or greencard or whatever it is to go there and work there so he can stay with me. (the thing is we are really serious about our relationship and we get along very well) I seriously don't know what to do, I have to go to college, but what if he cant go to america? I definitely can;t leave him behind. Plese people gemme advice:S:S 

-question by abby

 

[iGuest 3]

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 5 months. My girlfriend and I have ben dating for almost 2 years. my girlfriend lives in holland for school and I am in canada. I went to visit her at the end of october and she is coming home for a few months in about ten days. However I have noticed since she went back to holland from her christmas in polland she has stopped calling me as much. should I be worried? all her friends are guys. I trust her but I find it weird because her habits have all of a sudden changed.  she always cal last led before she went to sleep but now she hasnt for the last week,  I find it weird or am I weird? your thoughts anyone?

-question by chris

[mandla 0]

wow. the hardest thing i've ever had to go through in my life is being in a long distance relationship. I feel for all of who who find yourselves in the situation were a partner or boyfriend has to move to a different country. I think the main problem we all experience is that feeling of helplessness where it feels like you looosing that person ou love because they have changed. I know this from my own personal experience. My advice would be to continue communicating cause with out that its all going to fall apart. And while it hurst especially when we start to see those changes we shouldn't let it get us down. If you have something worth, its best to try and make time for each other as much as possible and support each other. Yes it hurts finding loop holes in their stories like the sitaution were you discovered they were baby sitting for free but honestly thinking too much only makes it more painfull. Remember they arent on an island so don't isolate yourself too. Find other stuff to do otherwise you easily find yourself thinking bout all the cracks that are developing.the worst bit is research sometimes being naive is better cause when you talk to people they will tell ohhhhh she is France oh my god she's probably having sex with some french dude right now and yes its a joke but they forget that next time you cant get hold of your loved one, stories like that will tend to replay in your head and crush the trust. We jus need to open up our hearts to dissapointment becaue we might not get back the effort we are pitting in over the distance and maybe sometimes its better to just find someone to move on with but then its not easy Its really hard. In my experience i got to a point where I was even scared to read mail from her cause I was scared that shed tell me shed found someone else and that kind of stuff can drive you nuts.TO someone who has never had a long distance relationship with someone they trully had feelings for, its easy for them to say evaluate this and decide that or move on or just walk awya now than later and all that but like a divorce or break up no one really know how to advise you like one thats been in the suituation and even then we all react differently some get depression some feel lost and some just withdraw. There is no right do and donts all I would recommend is to follow you heart and always remember in love we loose our selves and in love we break each others heart.I hope i made sense lol

[mra550 0]

I had a long distance relationship in my past and its not that easy, my suggestion is continue struggling on or ask himif he still want to continue your relationships since he is the guy if he don't want well understand,find another one, there's a lot of people in the world not only him,

[mandla 0]

My brother in law was in a long distance relationship, he was in oz and his gf was in brazil, they met on holiday and when she went to back to brazil they just used to talk everyday on skype for about a year eventually they met up again and spent a few months together and they were still so happy when they were together after all that time. She has since gone back to brazil but they still talk everyday, even tho they miss each other like crazy they are both happy because they maketime each day to talk with each other. It sounds like your not too happy, maybe you could be friends for awhile and see if he changes his ways, or suggest you want a break to see other people maybe he will get scared and step up his game and try harder for you. tell him to get his act together or its over, if he doesnt want to then you know hes no good, you shouldnt try all the time yourself to make things work when he cant be bothered. hope all goes well for you

[legend112 0]

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and it's been okay...Not great but okay.My girlfriend lives in a different country, we're an ocean apart and we talk via email, phone and msn from time to time. that is to say every week. Communication doesn't have to take a break, so much can change but i trust my girlfriend and she trusts me so everything is cool.The thing that causes many people to have trouble is a lack of trust and you have live in faith and ignore other people hoping your partner is doing the same. This is the most difficult part and I do get tempted from time to time but I have been successful. You risk a heartbreak too because if you're walking straight and then find out your partner was dating all this time...your world would be crushed.LDR need mature people. Someone who's not possessive and ready to allow his\her partner to discover if they are really in love because if you're in love...you will still hook up and stand the test of time.

[gisellebebegirl 0]

well one thing is for sure, if a man is in love, he will do anything to be with you, talk to you, text you etc, maybe he is scared so i do not want to asume things, but you really need to talk to him about what is going on between you and him, if you are ever going to be anything more than just an online relationship, drop the bomb on him, hes a guy, he is not going to drop it for you