Depression

[Goosestaf 0]

does anyone here suffer from depression?if so, here is a thread to talk about experiences and how you personally deal with it. . . . i'm currently quite depressed and fed up.i'm home from university, a way a way from all the friends i have their.i've lsot touch with most my friends where i am now, and and am also suffering from a lack of self-confidence, which means i find it hard to even contact/ go out with what friend s ido have here, because i'm not that close to them.i need to find a job. . .have been seraching for 3 weeks with no effect, so im unemployed . . . As i have nothign to do, i find it hard to gain isnpiration to do anything creaitve, or basic motivation.. . . . and like i have throughout my life this causes me to judge my personailty and self . . . and focus on the negative. which in turn makes me feel worse.. . . . .i hate my mind.

[serverph 0]

ever tried dancing? i've read lately that swedish researchers have found it to crank up the energy and joy of living, and cheer up those suffering from depression. here's the article. just disregard the references to "children" and "girls" since it could very well apply to adults and boys too.

i may add up more things here soon. in the meantime, power up that audio system and play some dance CD, turn up the volume, and DANCE!

[odomike 0]

Talking about depressions here. Well, I have been that way for quite some time now.I have a fiancee whom I really love and who really loves me back. Well, we have been planning on getting married for quite some time now. We have done everything to make that possible but there is always some problem for us here and there. We tackle this problem and up sprouts the next. Yea, I know that there can't be life without troubles and one ought to show how matured one is by the way he/she tackles his problems. One of our troubles is that her dad doesnt like me for some reason which I dont even know. Her mum really likes me and she doesnt mind me getting maried to her daughter. Well, thats one up for me though but I would want her dad to also like me too. I am just praying to God that he changes mind one day.I am really/quite depressed that we havent been able to achieve our dreams but I can onnly believe one thing, that "as far as I know and as far as is GOD whom I worship and serve, things will definitely get better for us and if GOD supports our marriage, nothing can stop it."Thats my lil' story.

[anwiii 17]

does anyone here suffer from depression?if so, here is a thread to talk about experiences and how you personally deal with it. . . .
i'm currently quite depressed and fed up.
i'm home from university, a way a way from all the friends i have their.
i've lsot touch with most my friends where i am now, and and am also suffering from a lack of self-confidence, which means i find it hard to even contact/ go out with what friend s ido have here, because i'm not that close to them.
i need to find a job. . .have been seraching for 3 weeks with no effect, so im unemployed . . .
As i have nothign to do, i find it hard to gain isnpiration to do anything creaitve, or basic motivation.
. . . . and like i have throughout my life this causes me to judge my personailty and self . . . and focus on the negative. which in turn makes me feel worse.. . . . .
i hate my mind.

sounds like you have a grasp on what you're going through. that's good. it's a start in understanding the problem because the problem isn't a lack of motivation or inspiration or being unemployed or feeling negative about yourself. although all these may be true, it's not the problem. the one thing i would suggest is to allow yourself to feel that it's ok to feel the way you do EXCEPT the negativity towards your own self which comes from deep within your own self and knowing who you are inside....which....isn't a bad person at all. just a person having a difficult time in life for the time being. this doesn't define who you are or the negative thoughts that might arise about yourself.

so accept the fact you are in a difficult time in your life. it's good you recognize what's going on. you explained it well. alot of people don't recognize what you do and can't explain what they're going through as well as you have. good. so now you know it hasn't really affected your ability to think rational(even if you feel like it has). so since this is the case, you need to get down to basics, bud and start thinking from the ground up and not from where you're at now to where you came from.

start by defining who you are....not how you are treated or what you experienced in life, but WHO YOU ARE. start from when you were a child and work your way forward. think about what you've learned on the way as you grew older. some things may be silly to others, but not to you because those things helped you grow and become stronger and built character. based on who you are....what nobody can ever touch, think about what you wouldn't change in the choices you made and be proud of those things. then think about what you would change so you don't make the same mistakes in life. then pat yoruself on the back for those things too because you are learning and understanding how life works and you're better for it.

take some time out for yourself. go to those places that you've always found enjoyment and peace. if you feel they don't offer that for you, go anyway and try to capture what you've lost. some people like to go to a creek, or the park because it offers peace within nature. some people like to go somewhere more secluded where there aren't people because any little noise irritates them. so it depends on you really.

there will not be any magical words anyone can say to to make things better for ya. you are going to have to find the key your own self. life is strange. it goes in cycles. sometimes it's good, and sometimes it's crap. but believe me....after you sift through the crap, there are also rewards. it's worth sifting through the crap. the crap doesn't kill ya. we kill our own selves with negative thinking at times.

how did i deal with negativity my own self when i was depressed and even suicidal in my early 20's? i searched deep down within myself. i realized i wasn't living a life for me but for others. my parents, my school, society in general. i was different than any typical guy and i had to fight for who i was and be happy with who i was and understand that it was worth the fight to do what i am meant to do in life. i fought like a mother f$#%#$^. expectations were placed on me at an early age to live a way of life that wasn't me. it sucked when i realized what was going on. that was MY problem. my problem wasn't being unmotivated like others said. it wasn't having a depressing problem like people said. it wasn't that i needed medication because others said i had a chemical imbalance(hahaha i still laugh at that one). it wasn't ANY of those things that people put in my head that made me even more depressed and suicidal. it was the fact that people weren't allowing me to be me. they expected more. anyway. it wasn't easy, bud.....it was like fighting the world but i was strong enough to do it. i know that we weren't placed on this earth to handle more than what we are capable. understand this because what i just said is important. you need to believe in that. we aren't placed on this earth to handle more than what we are capable of handling. life is cruel sometimes, but it isn't THAT cruel. it may seem like it, but trust me. it's not.

my best advice i can ever give is to just love yourself. love who you are and fight for yourself. you're worth it. when you can do this, you will start feeling better about yourself. being unemployed is ok. feeling like crap is ok. also, make the right choices for your life. usually the right choices are the harder choices because it's a harder path. you need to know this and accept this and know what you're fighting for. pretty much what you are fighting for is your life because you're dying inside right now. this isn't how it's meant to be. you're going through what you're going through right now because you are meant to learn something from this....and it's not just learning the world is crap either....something much more deeper and spiritual that only YOU will be able to relate to

i don't know you but i sense you like to think about things. dwell on things sometimes. i sense you are a deep thinker....so deep sometimes that people may not understand you or who you are. i sense you have a good head on your shoulders. i also sense that you are somewhat logical in thinking. your smart. the most important thing i sense is that you are strong willed even if you don't feel you are at times, i sense it strongly that you are. i don't make this crap up, i just sense things and pick up energy from people that others don't notice

i wish you well. i know you will be and i know you will find yourself. it's meant to be so hang in there. there's alot of people that care. i am one of them so if you ever want to talk, send me an email on trap and we can go from there.

-aaron

[anwiii 17]

Talking about depressions here. Well, I have been that way for quite some time now.
I have a fiancee whom I really love and who really loves me back. Well, we have been planning on getting married for quite some time now. We have done everything to make that possible but there is always some problem for us here and there. We tackle this problem and up sprouts the next. Yea, I know that there can't be life without troubles and one ought to show how matured one is by the way he/she tackles his problems.

One of our troubles is that her dad doesnt like me for some reason which I dont even know. Her mum really likes me and she doesnt mind me getting maried to her daughter. Well, thats one up for me though but I would want her dad to also like me too. I am just praying to God that he changes mind one day.

I am really/quite depressed that we havent been able to achieve our dreams but I can onnly believe one thing, that "as far as I know and as far as is GOD whom I worship and serve, things will definitely get better for us and if GOD supports our marriage, nothing can stop it."

Thats my lil' story.

i have advice for you too my friend.... i tend to ramble though. it's one of my annoying qualities so i'll try not to do that in this reply(although i believe i already am) OK!

you love your fiance. she loves you. there are problems. when one gets resolved, another pops up. good. that's life. now you know how life works. i'm proud of ya. this shouldn't have any limitations on getting married unless there is a direct relation with the problems and getting married. some people create drama so they don't have to concentrate on what they fear. this may not be your problem. i don't know. if it is, stop it! if it isn't, here's my advice. if this marriage is meant to be, and it better or you both should be wasting eachothers time. does she feel like a soul mate to you? does she offer things to help you become a better person? do you offer this in return? does she feel the same way? if not, you aren't meant to be and you are just with eachother for companionship so life doesn't feel so lonely and crappy. if you both offer this, then stop procrastinating. there will be problems before you get married and problems after you get married. that's life, bud. you can't put a stipulation on marriage saying you two will marry when their aren't any problems.

here's the good part now. just get married if you both know it's meant to be. if you both know this, there is no reason to procrastinate for ANY REASON. you two will be commiting to eachother the rest of your lives. the problems you face, you will face together and it will be easier to deal with to gether with the love and support from one another. now the problem arises about her father. STOP caring what other people think if you know what the right choice is. if he deosn't support, then he doesn't have to be at the wedding. i know it will cause problems but you have to make the choice of the lessor of the two evils here. her father isn't going to make you two happy for the rest of your lives. that will be up to you and your fiance to make eachother happy the rest of your lives. knowing this, nobody else matters. it's nice to get the support and combine family's but life isn't all that easy sometimes.

i'll tell you this though. your fiance is your soon to be father in law's little girl who want to protect her from all evil out in the world. if you show the love and he sees his daughters hapiness and that glow that can only mean that you are treating her right, then he will come around. ultimately, he just wants his daughters happiness. have faith bud. with making your fiance happy and your fiance's mother with support, he'll come around.

good luck with your situation. sometimes when you know what's right, all that's left to do is to just DO IT!
right? right.... take care.... you know what the right choice is, you're avoiding it

ever tried dancing?

hahaha, that post made me laugh. you do know that advice like that can only be said on the internet so you don't have to look at the facial responses you get, right? i mean if someone came to you with a problem and said "hey! you ever try dancing?" with one of those big grins, you'd get a lot of strange reactions

but the thing is, strange reactions are a good thing sometimes. sometimes that reaction includes a smile or a laugh....heck....i had to laugh. but most important was the good advice in what dancing has to offer.

haha i'm gonna have to remember that and use it sometime when someone else comes up to me to talk about their problems....

[tonyused 0]

Sorry to hear about your state of mind. It's hard to take when you are unemployed and not sure of what direction to take in your life. Ive been through it more or less like you and I will tell you how I overcame it.First, I decided what I wanted to do, or could do at the time, in my case it was hotel work. I did any short courses that were around, focused on anything to do with hotel wotk, bar, yard, cleaning anything , got course diplomas, with these I got a job. Didn't matter what job, it was a start. Pretty measly, but this focus got me going, from there on I went on to other things.Secondly, I joined a beginners dance club (just like serverph said before), in my case it was Square Dancing. This gave me something new to learn and focus on in my spare time, but more importantly it got me out of the house and meeting other poeple boys and girls. It eventually developed and I made some great relationships out of it. Because you know what ? - there were a lot of other people out there with problems just like me.The whole point I'm trying to make is, you have to decide on something tangible now to get you going again and focus on this, if nothing else.

[BOAW 0]

i hear you man, although im not experiencing anything any similiar to you, i can just understand by tryin to put myself in position. But listen to serverph, hes right dancing does help, but not only that but also exercising. I normally dance by break dancing, thats just what i do as a hobby. It puts my mind off everything and focuses on one thing, dancing. Not only it would help you emotionally but of course physically, its really healthy of course. But im sure you know that. Yo but keep your head up, try to be socialable n try opening up more to people and try not to be shy. Self Confidence is prolly the most important thing you need so try your best to keep that up.ive been depressed and sad myself. All that because i know tomorrow morning were going to put my cat to sleep =(. Had him for about 16 years or so. Hes really looking bad, hes mouth looks swollen, he constantly drools, and sometimes is blood and hes really skinny, its disgusting. i can touch every bone of his body. This is so hard to do but its something that must be done. i dont know how to think, all i can think is that this is the best thing to do for him becuase i know hes really struggling =(. sigh ive already teared lke two days thinkn about how were puttin him to sleep, i just hope i dont take it as bad tomorrow when we take him down.So to help im going to go breakdance, with my friend. hopefully this will help me and hopefully i wont go back into the sad state again.

[odomike 0]

does she feel like a soul mate to you? does she offer things to help you become a better person? do you offer this in return? does she feel the same way? if not, you aren't meant to be and you are just with eachother for companionship so life doesn't feel so lonely and crappy. if you both offer this, then stop procrastinating. there will be problems before you get married and problems after you get married. that's life, bud. you can't put a stipulation on marriage saying you two will marry when their aren't any problems.

Yes Anwiii. She really loves me and tries everything within her power to make sure that things are ok for me because as will always tell me, once things are good for me, she wont have to face any problems herself.

 

About the question if she feels like a soulmate to me. You really need to see what she feels for me. To her, I am the only person who she can rely on in hard times and anytime she needs comfort. she prefers to come to me first for comfort before going to her mom or any other person.

 

One thing I really love about this girl is that she is this intelligent and full of nice ideas sort of person. And by nice ideas, I mean the sort of ideas that will make things better for both of us. One idea drops into her head and the next moment, she comes running to me for scrutinization and approval. And should in case I reject it, ok she feels a lil' bit bad about the rejection of her idea but she immediately drops it without any hard feelings.

 

She has initiated a lot of ideas which has changed my way of living and everything about me for the better. You know what? People(I mean friends, family and even people I dont know but, whom I have come in contact with) have been advicing me not (never) to let her go because they think that both of us really suits each other.

 

now the problem arises about her father. STOP caring what other people think if you know what the right choice is. if he deosn't support, then he doesn't have to be at the wedding. i know it will cause problems but you have to make the choice of the lessor of the two evils here. her father isn't going to make you two happy for the rest of your lives. that will be up to you and your fiance to make eachother happy the rest of your lives. knowing this, nobody else matters. it's nice to get the support and combine family's but life isn't all that easy sometimes.

Thanks a whole lot for that advice Anwiii. I have already implemented that for quite some time now. I have already stopped bothering myself about him. Even his daughter (my fiancee) herself has also stopped worying about her dad too. She says that whether her dad supports me or not, that she doesnt care a hoot about that. That all she is concerned about is the fact that I love her and I am willing to take care of her.

 

You know, this girl has already rejected the marriage proposals of two guys (one of them is based in the US), just because ofme. And when her dad tried to question her about her decision, she told him that if she would rather go on celibacy that get married to any other person than me.

 

So, you see, I think we are really meant for each other.

 

All we need is the special grace of God so that everything will work out fine for us. And like you said, problems come before and after marriage but with the love and understanding between the couple, they will always find a way of resolving the issue.

 

Thanks a million times Anwiii for your immeasurable advice. You have helped relieve a forlorn heart.

[yellowhairedguy20 0]

I am generally a happy person but I am depressed occasionally. When I am depressed though I find that it works best to try and cheer yourself up by hanging around the people you love. That has always worked for me.

[confessionalchrissite 0]

everyone is different and we all feel differently about different things but to all the people who are depressed, you have to fight it, really try hard to think about doing other things that will help you think about other things... you have to beat depression it's not healthy. Life is too short to be depressed about...

[feipoh 0]

Well, I am sorry to hear what is happening in your life and I know exactly how you feel right at this moment because I am going through more or less the same thing as you right now.I was working in an office for 3 years in an all man department, throughout the 3 years period, I was heavily bullied and being make to feel stupid every single day, my personality changed and slowly I redraw myself from everything and the last insult I had was- I was make redundant.My self-esteem hit rock bottom and I hate myself every single day. The worst thing is that I injured my back as well, so I can?t sit for long now, the GP in UK is useless. I hate myself for being weak, I hate myself for being ill and I hate myself for being useless and stupid. I look around myself and I realised that I don?t have any friends or relatives living in UK that I can talk to. I lock myself in my room all the time and I started to believe that I am a loser. I can?t talk to my parents either because they think I am a loser and I am wasting my time.Since, I turned my back from my old job, I found that without working experience and good English grammar I can?t even get a receptionist job in UK and I started to hate the UK public as well. It has been 7 months and I am still officially unemployed. I work part time though as a waitress to force myself to get out of my room and my house. I also enrolled myself to a part time course to give myself something to focus on. I helped the refugees too.I come to the decision that I am going to change myself and my life for better, I want to take control and respect my life and I will try to meet my full potential because I deserve better. One thing I understand is that giving up is not a way of living, I know it because i have been there. Do i hate the UK public now? No, i don't, i realised that most people are really nice, only some individuals that are really evil. .... So please do something that will make you feel good about yourself. As for me, when I look at those refugees and I realised that there are really a lot of people that are more unfortunate then me, opportunity does not come to your doorstep by itself, you have to work hard for it and I decided to try again.

[richierich1m 0]

depression is the thing one should fight with ,sometimes very easy to handle,sometime very difficultdepression is not something a problem itself,it is actually symptoms,symptoms which state that there is a problem in your life which is causing you this depression,you have a positive option like simply remove the problem by finding its solution and get rid of the depression ,but it is not always that easy when you are in a depression the first thing to do is get yourself emotionally cleared]do all the good things you like ,if you don't find anything good ,create it!sometimes clearing emotionally is very difficult,so start with physical health,take care of you diet,exercise regularly,so when you get physically fit you can focus more on your problemsjust go on a holiday or just chill out really hard at home start making friends ,this thing always work (espescially opposite sex ) so my friend just try to enjoy your time completely

[Yratorm, LightMage 0]

Hmm, there's a LOT of good advice in this thread, so I'll put in my two cents as well. Use a two-pronged approach to deal with depression. Firstly, start exercising. It doesn't have to be anything special - go for a run in the park, sit under some trees, feed the ducks, commune with nature. Stand in the sunlight; - see how beautiful the world is. Relax your mind. You'll find this calming - and the exercise will do you good. Do some pushups when you get home, some kneebends/squats and crunches. Just as much as you can. Your body produces a lot of substances that help you towards a positive outlook when you're healthy.Ever hear the saying 'a healthy mind in a healthy body?' well those ancient greeks had something there. First start with your body - maintain it well, and you'll find that helps your mind feel better as well.Then you could start with a hobby or interest - preferably something that doesn't cost too much and involves other people - some artists or poets club if you have that bent - or whatever your particular talent is. And we are ALL talented in one way or another, so find yours and work at it WITH others. You'll improve your people skills, and since you're doing something you like, you'll be more confident with people who like the same thing.As your health and confidence improves, you'll find that you can face the world better. Give it a shot - you have nothing to lose.

Edited December 22, 2006 by Yratorm, LightMage (see edit history)

[-[Nero]- 0]

I've been depressed for the past few days.This girl has been my schoolmate since we were 16, and we're now college mates here in England, apparently the only one who came to the same college with me. We chat a lot and soon I found out I fall for her. I know I shouldn't. I tried to get rid of it but it only got worse instead of feeling better. The remedy? I told her the truth, and nothing but the truth. The next morning, she mail it back to me and told me she already knew it and only want to be friend since she doesnt wanna start a relationship at the moment. Well, I was really happy, at least we are friends and better than we're not. That day onwards, with been chatting quite often, more often than I could ever imagine. I was so happy.. I really am... But as all the guys know, the love cannot go away completely. I still love her, but not as much as I was before I told her the truth.But recently, after I came out from town for easter holiday, she changed. She never talked to me like she always do. She doesnt start a conversation like she always does. I knew I had to take steps. So I started a conversation room with her. I said "Hi, how was your day?" She never replied. I waited for 1 hour not closing that chat room, and at the end all she replied was "Good night" and then went offline. I was so heart-broken. Depress. I feel myself entering into oblivion well. I don't know what has happen to her.That night, I was checking through friendster and I found a questionaire she did in the bulletin board. Curious, I went and check. As I scroll down, a question caught my attention. "Do u like someone?" was the question. She answered "Like? Nahhhh... Love? Yessss!"The first thing came to my mind was.. she LIED to me, She lied every single word she said she didnt wanna start a relationship. I was totally heartbroken and I could find myself deeper in the oblivion well. The conversation went like this...Me: remember the time i told u i like u? i know i said about being good friends.. but i guess u should know it doesnt go away completelyShe: i know...its not like i nvr experienced it beforeMe: haha.. thx for understanding..She: np.. what u laughing at huhh??Me: it's just wat i always put...She: Hmm.. okayMe: when u said u like someone... i emo......not ur fault la..i usually blame myself for liking u too much...She: urhhh... i dunno how to respondMe: hmm..maybe u should tell me wat u dun like about me as well... i dun wan to stay living in lies onlyShe: atleast you know i like someone else...there aint no lies man ... -.-Me: comon' there's definitely something u dun like about me right?She: youre a friend, youre a guy, its all usual..Me: hmm.. next time let me know what u dun like about me.. btw, who do u like?She: hmm?Me: Dont wanna tell?She: It's nothing... I just see u as a friend, sry..Me: u dun think i expect u to say it is me.. are u?She: i know, im jsut saying, even if i didnt like someone, id still see you as a friend only...There's no remedy yet for my insecure and emotional feeling.. Everytime, I drop deeper in the oblvion well... After that conversation, she barely chat with me anymore.,.. I feel so heart broken... I want her to save me and pull me up from the oblivion well... that's the only remedy.. she's the only one who can cheer me up...

[cangor 0]

Okay, so I'm chronically depressed, perhaps slightly bipolar because sometimes I'm in a manic state sometimes, and I get that way when I'm not around friends or whatever. Unfortunately, I still haven't found a way to combat this, and when it happens I'm listless and can't be entertained by anything. Basically, I just wait it out and sometimes it makes me really irascible, I guess, is the best word. I don't know, I think it's probably happening to me right now. The only thing that helps me, maybe a little is to listen to music, so, I'd recommend that when you're depressed. It can help you before you get too depressed, at least.