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Becca

The "cyber" Thing Relationships on the Net

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Chatting with members of the opposite sex in a non-threatening environment is good practice for when you get out there in the "real world" Making friends online is fine but when it comes to thinking there is anything more... that's when problems can happen. There are so many things that you can't know about a person from chatting with someone- Even if you talk on the phone, too. There is something about being in the same room as someone- something I learned the hard way.

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Chatting with members of the opposite sex in a non-threatening environment is good practice for when you get out there in the "real world"

 

Making friends online is fine but when it comes to thinking there is anything more... that's when problems can happen. There are so many things that you can't know about a person from chatting with someone- Even if you talk on the phone, too. There is something about being in the same room as someone- something I learned the hard way.

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Yeah, nothing like seeing the person and being able to hold them, and all that good stuff.

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Most stupid people also get tricked this way into seeing the other person.And I know what you mean when you said you thought I meant another thing by the word "cyber". When I was 8 people asked me for it. It's disgracful and they knew my age. It really scared me and I didn't really go back to chat rooms....Vritual girlfriends means virtual hugs and kisses. *Becky Kisses Dog... is unlikely going to be and feel like the real thing. I mean hpmh. I feel kind of sorry for some people who do this sort of thing though. Because some people only get online gf or bf just because thy are either ugly or can not pull. Which is kind of sad really.

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I have seen this topic in many other forums. And I can read the same comments all over. Open your eyes, guys!!!FYI I am a 43 year old man. I love women and I love sex. I have habitated the cyberworld since 1982 or so. I have had hundreds of cybergirlfriends, (and real girlfriends, too :D ) But I am not only looking for "..." as someone said above. I can have all of that I want. I am basically looking for human interaction. It has just sometimes happened that, once I met someone on-line (a girl in my case,) I have started feeling fond of chatting with her. You may call it love or not, but with such intensity, to the point of not going out one night only because I am looking forward to "talk" to that person. It has also happened to me that I sometimes go to a specific bar or night club, only because I know that someone I want to talk with wiil be there. In both or either cases, I have ended up in "physical relationships" or not. All I know is that I have felt fond of interacting with that somone in particular at that particular moment.I have met some of my best real-world friends on-line. I have had "physical interaction" with some of them. With some others I have never even thought about it, and they are all and still some of my best real and/or cyber-world friends. Some of them are men with whom I play chess or tennis with on weekends, some of them are girls with whom I still keep a "physical relationship" with some frequency or not. Some of them... B) ...I will never meet in the real world. Go figure!!! They live in China!!!I have fallen in love with women in a bar, at school, in a chat room, on the subway!!! Some of them have ended up in bed with me and never seen them again. Some of them have never even kissed me and they still keep in touch. Or viceversa. And yes I have cyber-dated "Nancy" who ended up being "Bob" in the real world. :P . I fortunately do not keep in touch with him!!! LOL B) In conclusion. Cyber IMHO is not an obstacle to human feelings and interaction. No matter what you call it. Whether physical or spiritual. People are people in cyberspace and everywhere else. They laugh. They lie, they hope, they have different ideas, they get angry, hungry or fall in love. They fight, they make love or sex, they play, they agree...or not They are people FGS! :D (We, I meant to say.) It happens in the cyber-world, at the supermarket, on the TV, the phone, across the park. In English, Spanish, Japanese or Braille. So, free yourselves! Let your feelings flow! And share them! If you don't want to date or cyber-date someone...do not. If you do...well, DO!!! If you feel better interacting in a forum like this...well, it's great with me. Just do not stop feeling. Intensely, and sharing those feelings with someone you prefer. It doesn't matter how, even by postal mail. Else you will bitter your life up.Kind regards.Joe

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...basically looking for human interaction.

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It's ironic we find an inanimate object to feel animated via cyber interaction. Looks like the more we are "hooked" on the fast pace of the internet world, the more isolated we become. And for those who cannot catch up with fast growing technologies they have nothing but to be left behind. Humans are strange creatures. We cannot be isolated for the long duration therefore we constantly feel to be connected to someone or some thing--i.e. the internet, cell phones. Yet, the more we spend the time replying to forums or chatting online aren't we isolating ourselves from the rest of the world? So, are we at the age where the old fashion human interaction--a social event such as community block party--has been replaced with interacting in cyber land?

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I don't think its lame when you use the dating service things that are legitimate. The ones you acutally have to pay for and stuff. But the online dating thing is just weird. I've never done that before. I just never thought it was right to do. How can you manage a relationship when your still in school and living off your parents?? i know some couples have done that but that's rare. Its even weirder if you met your girlfriend on like starcraft or some game chatroom. lol. But whatever is ok. If it works out than go for it. I'm just concerned abotu children or kids doing this and having no idea how dangerous it is..

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Hi:Well, I definately am in the minority here. And since I am happily married, my opinion may need to be taken with a grain of salt. But, that being said, I have made non-romantic friends from the internet. The internet is just one more way of interacting with people. Relating to people comes in all dimensions. You can write (remember the lost art of penpals?), talk on the phone, chat in a chatroom, view webcams. and of course interact live face to face. And being together live involves various dimensions as well. There is intimate heart to heart conversations as well as doing things together. Is playing an online game of blackjack, cards or scrabble so much different than playing the same game face to face? Both are still enjoying the others company and having fun together.Just because the internet is not 100% being with the other person, does not mean that the internet is an invalid means of communication, or sharing. It also doees not invalidate that two people can develop feelings for each other on-line.Sunkist

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I think online dating is fine for people who are mature enough to know what they're doing. Remember the movie You've Got Mail?

 

I know a couple of people who met their mates over the internet and got married. I'm sure it's no more difficult (or desparate) than hanging out at a bar and trying to pick up on someone.

 

Yours Online,

 

Goldinero

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Finding friends online is very easy. You could register as a member to a particular forum with people who have the same interest as you. Is is fun, because you get to interact with them with ease because of your common likes and hobbies, you can meet them up and find more closeness with them. Some people get to see their soulmates, future husband or wife, and bestfriends though it. I have this friend who got to marry a guy he "saw" online. the friendship started when they met at an online chat about their recent break-ups with their girlfriends and boyfriends, and they turned-up to be the perfect match. :Dbut please be careful when meeting up people personally, especially if you are a girl. here are my tips:1. Always bring a friend with you.2. Meet them at a public place, like a park. Do not agree at once when they invite you to his place.3. When they invite you for a lunch or dinner, be careful with the food or drinks that they give. it may contain some sort of drugs.4. Always tell someone, like your parents or close friends, that you are meeting up with someone.5. If possible, tell your firends about your whereabouts every hour or thirty-minutes. 6. Bring something that can be used as a protection, like pepper spray.7. ALWAYS BE AWARE!

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Yeah, nothing like seeing the person and being able to hold them, and all that good stuff.

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It's not just that. While getting to know someone online, there are going to be things you can't know about. Like, that noise the person makes when they are eating, or the way they flip the channels on the tv, how they answer everything with a grunt. or 'superficial' things like unruly nose and back hair... Online you can't get to know the whole person, there are going to be gaps in their personality that you can't find out in a chatroom, and most likely, you are going to fill those gaps with the qualities of your fantasy person.

 

There are also other things that are hard to get across in writing. Inflection, sarcasm, certain sorts of humor. In talking to people before I met my "e-mail order boyfriend" I always worried about how my sense of humor came across, if people knew I was joking around. Then the funniest thing happened. I started talking to this guy and he was hilarious! It was shocking to find out when I met him that he actually was not funny at all. And that whole time I was laughing at him and not with him. :D

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LOLWell, that is pretty funny that you thought he was funny, and he wasnt. Humor and sarcasm "may be lost in the translation" on the internet. Although, now with voice chat, it really is not that different from talking on the phone.Sunkist

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Hi:

 

Well, I definately am in the minority here.  And since I am happily married, my opinion may need to be taken with a grain of salt.  But, that being said, I have made non-romantic friends from the internet. 

 

The internet is just one more way of interacting with people.  Relating to people comes in all dimensions.  You can write (remember the lost art of penpals?), talk on the phone, chat in a chatroom, view webcams. and of course interact live face to face. 

 

And being together live involves various dimensions as well.  There is intimate heart to heart conversations as well as doing things together.  Is playing an online game of blackjack, cards  or scrabble so much different than playing the same game face to face?  Both are still enjoying the others company and having fun together.

 

Just because the internet  is not 100% being with the other person, does not mean that the internet is an invalid means of communication, or sharing.  It also doees not invalidate that two people can develop feelings for each other on-line.

 

Sunkist

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It wasn't about cyber friendship, it was about cyber dating. I already pointed out that internet friends are more than okay, they're great.

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The Cyber thing is for people who have poor social skills in real life.. Its basically a really sad thing. Then again, it brings the anti social loser community together, so I have no problem with it. Studies shows people can relate more without the physical standards being involved.

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I also believe that it is VERY ridiculous and that people who do that should go get a life. I've done it once just to see what people are actually doing when they do this stuff and i was not impressed. The only thing that happens is: "Gives roses" "takes roses" Etc.,... Well you bum 60 year old wannabe girl why dont u get off your 500 pound buttocks and send the guy some REAL flowers???

Notice from Johnny:
Watch the language.

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Sunster, watch the language.Becca, I love you. Let's get cyber married. :DJ/kBut seriously...I was thinking about it a bit, and it doesn't really seem all that bad, actually. I mean, not LOVE, I still don't think "loving" someone over the net is right, but it's nice to have a "good friend" that you can talk to and share stuff with and such. I mean, I'll never type mmms and ahhs as some sort of "internet making out", but it'd be nice to just have a friend that's there for you, if you know what I mean. O.o

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