Killer008r

I got bored one day so I wrote a bunch of lies to one day maybe use as a MSN screen name or somthing I haven't used them so I guess you can here they are:

 

-----You did not write these... They came from Dave's Web of Lies... I have put them in quotes. -----szupie

 

Highlighter pens are made from squashed fireflies abdomens.

 

Ganesha, the elephant-headed Hindu god, has become so fed up with being confused with Dennis the Menace's dog that he has changed his name to Snowy.

 

Horses are simply zebras which have been painted with rustproof coating for their own protection.

 

Spiders are taught to act scary at a very young age. Before attending scariness seminars, most spiders are quite friendly.

 

The common antelope is the only animal known to play contract bridge.

 

In 1962, just before the Bay of Pigs disaster, John F. Kennedy authorised the creation of a World Wide Information Super Collider. The intention was to hurl American Knowhow around the Earth at higher and higher speeds in an attempt to create some sort of quantum jump effect in the sum of human knowledge. The Internet is the result of this failed top-secret US government experiment.

 

The planet Neptune is sentient.

 

Bruce Willis rears monkeys on a ranch in Mexico for an ambitious project to invade Neptune in the year 2012.

 

The planet Saturn went on a hot date with Neptune, resulting in the myriad moons orbiting Jupiter.

 

It is a common misconception that the only creatures ever to fly have had wings. The species Lupidi Floticus (a close relative of the modern rabbit) were actually lighter than air, though died out due to lack of food sources. One in seven plane crashes are thought to be due to their fossilised remains being sucked into aircraft engines.

 

To save fuel, aircraft crossing the equator routinely shut down and then restart each of each of their engines to spin in the opposite direction.

 

One cylinder in every 4 stroke engine is on strike, as a protest about high fuel prices.

 

Teams of Japanese scientist on a project to reverse engineer the successful Dyson cleaner made an astonishing discovery this week. One of the main internal components is a self regenerating candy floss machine which uses a tiny sensor to match the colour of the candy floss to that of your carpet, thus creating the illusion that all of the fluff you see blowing around in the plastic cylinder has been sucked up from your floor.

 

The breath test was first used in Middle Kingdom Egypt, so that the pharaoh might punish those who paddled boats along the Nile under the influence of too much beer. Early breath tests used a "bag" made from a crocodile's bladder and the testee could be kept "blowing" for anything up to four and a half hours.

 

The bow tie was originally designed to be a multi-function personal helicopter/ninja weapon. However, after thirty-two decapitations the testers union went out on strike and manufacturers were forced to swap the tungsten-carbide blades for brightly coloured silk.

 

Only a ninja can kill a ninja.

 

President George Bush employs a highly-skilled ninja attack cormorant as security on his weekly visits to Paraguay.

 

 

Searched for 'ninja'

Copies of "Armageddon", "Debbie Does Dallas", "The Blob" and "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" have been sealed in a time capsule at the base of the Washingtom Monument. These four films are intended as an accurate depiction of late 20th Century life.

 

In his four year term, Franklin Pierce thwarted and dismembered 285 ninja assassins.

 

The martial art of Ninjitsu was originally developed by 17th Century Japanese interior designers as a means of knocking through partition walls.

 

Arthur Askey appeared in nineteen episodes of "The Dukes of Hazzard"

 

In a recent survey 1,000 people were asked what they thought of being surveyed. Of those who answered 95% said they didn't mind.

 

In a survey of recently married women 46% claimed the main advantage of men was that they could reach things down from high places.

 

Publishers are today frantically updating joke books following the results of a survey at London's Royal Veterinary College: after studying over 500 dogs with no nose it was found that they, on average, smell 30% more pleasant than conventional dogs.

 

The Sony Playstation was invented after a public transport customer survey found that bus and train stations were simply too dull.

 

A recent survey of species intelligence yielded the surprising information that the three most intelligent species on the planet are three-toed sloths, euglenas (single-celled organisms with flagellum, which behave as both plants and animals) and a species of bacteria usually located in the lower digestive tract. The study also produced evidence to support the theory that men and women are different species: while man was only the 47th most intelligent species on the planet, woman was ranked 38th on the list.

 

A 1995 survey of 253,950 gay men in New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Seattle found that 93% of their parents were women, and that 4 to 7 per cent of the men themselves were women as well.

 

Nearly 75% of marsupials do not exist. In certain parts of Southeast Asia, however, the marsupial nonexistence rate is in excess of three times this figure. A recent survey revealed that one in a hundred people attribute the discrepancy directly to "Baby Spice" Emma Bunton.

 

Bartichokes are a rare and tasty variety of artichoke sold only at Asda stores, they are not to be confused with cartichokes or dartichokes which do not exist. 

 

The number of people in the UK having imaginary friends is three times greater than the actual number of imaginary friends in existence.

 

It is possible to deduce the existence of watermelons from the commonly-accepted mathematical axioms of set theory.

 

Doctor James Hermandaz of Orinoco University, Battersea, heavily disputes the premise that going back in time and killing your grandfather will erase your existence from the space time continuum. Upon investigation, a team of scientists went a hundred years into the past and murdered the grandparents of Doctor Hermandez, only to return to the present to discover that Hermandez had fled the country.

 

Doctor Matthew Sebastian of Hilderthorpe University, Perugia, has formulated the first recipe for an anti-matter chipatti.

 

The human neck is de-evolving, and it is estmated by the University of Hull that it will be up to 4cm shorter and have a turning range of only 8 degrees by the year 2080.

 

Historians at Darlington University have recently discovered that pigs used to be farmed upside-down.

 

In order to attract more students and simultaneously cut costs, Aston University is going to sell off all of its buildings and equipment and become the world's first 100% virtual university, complete with virtual lecturers, virtual bars and virtual students programmed not to show up and occasionally put virtual washing-up liquid in the virtual fountains.

 

Anyone using the word "sundry" in a speech at the University of Arizona will be beaten by local barbers.

 

Computer science researchers at the University of Lancaster have developed a two-sided canoe that can be used in all three seasons.

 

Aspirin, a common analgesic drug sometimes referred to as ASA, was first derived from the inner bark of the Kauri tree in New Zealand. It was first synthesized at the University of Waikato, Hamilton, New Zealand, and was originally marketed under the trade name "Danger: Poison".

 

Do mountain goats suffer from vertigo? Recent studies by the Lhasa University in Tibet has proved that 51% of mountain goats do suffer from a paralysing fear of heights and only feel comfortable on rock-strewn plains.

 

A recent graduate project at the University of Minnesota allows the sending of tea through the Internet.

 

Recently, Oxford University's Terpsichorean Society discovered the conclusion of Mozart's unfinished "Requiem" in muzak form on a touchphone service of major banking corporation..

 

University statutes at the Massachusets Institute of Technology allow anyone arriving in a palanquin and dressed entirely in saffron robes to park free anywhere on the university grounds.

 

The movie "Planet of the Apes" is actually based on a true story. For three months in 1977 highly intelligent apes actually controlled all city functions in Quincy, Massachusetts.

 

Manchester University was founded by an order of fragrant monks who funded the university by selling photos of little old ladies to the French.

 

A degree in silliness is available from the university of silly located on the silly isles.

 

New research from the University of Lower Hutt in New Zealand suggests that the ordinary Personal Computer eats up to three pencils a day.

 

By applying an extension of Harnab's theory to fuzzy circles, Professor Ad de Verlius of the Free University of Amsterdam has shown that there is not just one number Pi, but an infinite series of identical numbers mostly having values between 4 and 5.

 

Source: Dave's Web of Lies

I will add in more when i come up with them.

Not to mention thoes weren't just prerenders, they are real time (in the game while your playing it) And there are a couple better ones just have to look on the site and Download the Boxing trailer, it is so fricken realistic.

Information about all consoles on http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/, all but the nintendo Revolution which is going to have wireless controllers only with rechargable batteries. The revolution and ps3 are the best consoles of next gen, XBox 360 has absolutly nothing on them, MS upgraded barley anything. Just made it look different and put a little better graphics card in it. PS3 isn't going to have a projector I was at e3 2 days ago to listen to Sony, MS, and Nintendos next gen consoles, it kicked azzThe "Revolution" as it is called right now comes with a hard drive that gives a new meaning to backwards compatability. Because with it and it's built in wireless reciever, you can download for a price every singgle black-list Nintendo game every releaced. That means every single English and Japanese game releaced for every nintendo console up to th e"Revolution" Can be downloaded and played countless times, And the hard drive has enough space to hold all of those games (thats more than 100 gigs) Not to mention its the smallest console ever that will have the next gen graphics card (Made by Radion) and the prossesor will be awsome. It will probaly be the most innovative out of all of them.Ps3 IS AWSOME thats all I can say about it, you have to look on E3 just to see stuff on it, because I cannot explain how wonderful it is.

Get AVG it takes spyware, trojans, and viruses, its better than Ad-aware, infact Ad-aware misses ALOT of unneeded and harmful spyware. I use AVG pro for taking out any trojan, spyware, or virus, and it works.

I think HL2 because the phyisics make it a good simulation

It's an easy chess game (Although I'm a actual chess player, I placed 17th out of 500 in the junior scholastic chess championships at Dallas Texas last year) and this year I scored 1st in WI junior chess champion (That was only for state, the texas was nationals.)

I really need a gmail account my current email is killer008r@hotmail.com if thats what you need

Are you talking about the original starwars? number 4 (originally 5 but they changed it to 4) or starwars epasode one? The new ones are kind of bad, i liked the older ones alot better Starwars sortof went down hill when epasode one came out.

I use Dual AMD 64, IT ROCKS, your comp will go soo soo much faster than normal. It is SOO SOO beautiful lol.

Oddly enough I would like to see a mmo-rpg or just mmo that is of us, in this time, no future things, no past things, I just want to see how good someone could make a mmo of now time (And I'm not talking about the crap over there at the sims online). I'm talking about a GOOD mmo lol. Maybe it would be fun maybe it woulden't but it would me really intresting to see a current time mmo. then you could go to work on the computer instead of actually going to work.. lol... Also i would like to see somthing like DOT Hack come out.You know where you go into a body suit and that is your "Controller" then you connect and you move through brain waves... it would be like you put it on your head as you sleep then you can play the game.. Or while your awake... Any one else think that would be intresting, where you can expereance being in a mmo. in first person.

Theres Anarchy online which is cool. I have been playing MU online, i dont know what MU stands for. but it is a cool game

I think its going to be exactly like the other 2 like it was when the 2nd one came out... and like it was with all the other ones before UG (although separating ug from the other series.)

Sorry about this double post but I didnt read kenjvalips post and I realised alot is horrable about it so I have to see if he understands what hes saying.

 

I disagree gay marriage, because it is much more like taking drugs...

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And Heterosexual marrages aren't? Whats so different about a homosexual marring a homosexual? NOTHING Its a person getting married to a person... I'm quite sure if you were gay you would think alot different.

 

It is a bad habit and you know people wanted to do everything that would make them happy whatever the cost maybe. This issue as to be studied, tested, cross examed, and simulated. But this processes may not be enough due to the randomness of the way things go.

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Are you AT ALL listining to what you are saying? You are saying Being gay is a BAD habit. EVEN if they are happy with it, so your contradicting the whole means of a decent society. And is a homosexual marrage really that big of an issue? Yet again theres the fact that it is people marrying eachother because the people make eachother happier. Is there any problem with that? Nope... so whats the issue?

 

But if we think from a simple view it really has no good effect or advantages. It invites unnaturalism towards the human are built to be. Humans never existed to stay in a minimum number, can both sexes reproduce? It is against human nature, and the effects can be devastating.

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So what, Giving people their Rights to be free is unjust? And actually has a Negitive effect on society? Well I guess your right, Since America isn't a free contary no one should be given the right to marry... since the Bill Of Rights can't meen anything right? You know "Freedom to religion" "Freedom to expression" "FREEDOM OF PRIVACY" "FREEDOM OF MARRAGE", you know those small things... What Devastating effects will we suffer from? (becides are humans really the best of all beings? Have you seen other animals have wars with their own species? I bet you havent. Have you seen other animals kill everything around a certian area to get food for a year? Or a couple thousand barrels of oil that will last us less than a month? I bet not... If we are gods "Perfect" creation why is there war, WHY IS THERE MASS CORRUPTION?)

 

I could rant soo soo much more about what is so wrong about what you are saying but it is an extreme waste of my time and I don't want to rant untill Someone trys arguing against me.

i dono man. most of religion despise gays. but the truth is, some ppl need some guidance to do the right things.

 

well, maybe homosexuality will not enable you to have child, than, maybe one day human will come to the brink of extinction because of these acts.

 

you know something else? i think gayness is contagious. i've seen it spreeding in schools, universities, everywhere! that's something to be scared off.

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No offence, But that is horrible. "Gayness is contagious" your saying it like homosexuality is a virus... I have a couple homosexual friends. I am not homosexual and have never thought about being. No one else but these people are that way. (I think that it was increadibly wrong for you to say that, you should be highly ashamed)

I'm waiting for the one that I am co-scripting. it's a HALO HL2 mod... But becides that im waiting for DB source, ns:S, Legend of mana, mdk reborn, SvenCoop2, JailBreak REbourN and thats about it they are all good mods and going to be good mods you should take a look at them.

Game cube has too many kiddy games? So, Super smash, Res evil -0-3-4, Zelda (You might think windwaker is kiddy, but play it for a while, your decision will change VERY quickly), splintercell, timesplitters 1-2, MDK, Soul calibur 2, Metroid prime and countless other games are kiddy? I don't think so. Not to mention most GC games arn't "Low budget" they might be affordable unlike most other console games but they are good, and usually have a hudge immersive story line.play some of them, theres hundreds of good games. and Resident Evil 4 (Game cube only) proves that gc has the best console graphics (Or atleaced knows how to use their graphics to their full potential) and final fantisy is coming back to GC... But I would have to say PC because you can allways upgrade it for less than the price of a console. just buy a new videocard that will last longer than the console's graphics....and there you go... your set to play any game for 4-5 year... I stayed with the exact same video card that worked perfectly from when HL1 came out to when HL2 came out..Ps2 is good, they have innovative ways of using the dual joy sticks (Katamari Dinasty, and Ape excape are the two that I can think of the most)And Xbox... Is nothing special... I think they are good consoles... but Microsoft should spend there time on an actually good OS first (Bugless) unstead of wasting their time on their console.

Now only if I could use what pulse on the school computers.

I would rathur play 1.6 although source is pretty good. The reason for the 1.6 liking is im a CAL player, and CAL tornys are usually hosted on Train, Oilrig, Dust, Dust 2, Assault, and alot of those maps arn't on css yet.

you know if you play the "Pokemon Rap" Backwards it says "I love satan love satan love satan" I found that out yesterday its really funny. But yeah I still do like Pokemon. its a fun and emmersive RPG game

I only have Excape from Monkey Island its a fun concept. Expecially the MONKEY FIGHTS!!! Reminds me of Maniac Magee.

Do you have SP2? That causes alot of errors with "External" browsers (Browsers that do not come with Windows, Meaning all except AOL and Internet explorer). Probaly what you want to do is take SP2 out, set the browser that you run on right now as the main browser, then if you feel like you really need SP2 although I don't recommend it, you can re-download and re-install it. Then everything should work fine.

It could either lead to a ton of cheap shots a la Dragon's Lair, or it could be very easy and anybody will fly through it (at the same speed as anyone else).

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Meaning like XII (13) A cell shaded awkward FPS game that is increadibly good. It is baced on a scottisch comic book I believe. The game is about a guy who forgets who he is (He is some kind of super agent code named agent 13) although the game ends with -Continued....-

Hello Kase I as well am in that age range. This is a fun community if you know about tech stuff (Like games and Computer programming) But there is alot more than just that, the people here will talk with anything you can bring up to talk about. they are a fun group.WELCOME TO Xisto AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY....

I wouldent really use linux or windows I use somthing called Linspire (Or Old name Lindows) which is pretty much a linux baced windows. It has all the capabilities of bouth windows and linux (MEaning it is good for a gamer and a server admin like me) And it helps with video editing and other cool stuff.

Jedi.. thats not it... if it actually has the capacity of 40 then you weren't able to partition the whole drive... What you want to do is split the drive so then you can partition it 50/50 (20 gigs) then it should work perfectly. pm if you want to learn how to split