Why Men Expect Their Woman To Be Perfect !

[web_designer 7]

to start this topic in a fair way, i will say i am not talking about ALL men, i know not ALL of men are like that, but let's say 80% of them are . at least in this part of the world.now really, i keep on wondering why men always EXPECT their women, like wives or girlfriends to be PERFECT. she should know how to cook, how to clean, how to be beautiful ALL the time, in a good mood, educated, wise, funny and cool...ect. so why are men so picky? they want everything, they wish their women to be the woman in their dreams, she should change herself and make sacrifices, she should always be there for them. no matter what she thinks or feels, either she is depressed or not in mood or even tired of him and of everyone else. this is REALLY a horrible situation that every couple will be in after a while, only those men who are wise enough and smart enough to deal with these problem when it starts to happen. personally, i do believe that every couples are different from each other no matter how they think they are the same, even if they have the same interests, the same ideas, loving the same music, movies and food, or they are from the same level of education or the social class, or they have the same backgrounds or personalities, but still different. all these things could make them understand each other better and get along together, but still not make them the perfect couple, because simply MEN see thing differently from WOMEN. and as soon as they could understand that about each other, then they could understand each other more. and i truly think that these kind of men who are understanding and looking with respect to women needs, are the men who worth to change myself for them, i don't mean changing my personality, but changing my habits, my behaviors, or my plans for future to make the life more easier for both of us,but IN RETURN, i will expect the same from him, if not then really the whole thing is not worthy. this is exactly what i am talking about here, the majority of men expect women to change for them, they expect a lot and demand a lot without feeling they should do the same. it is a completely selfishness and non observance to others feelings and desires. and the worse is happen when if she argues with him, he never understands and think it is his RIGHT to expect that from her!!! yeah he thinks it is his RIGHT...unfortunately, this is one of the horrible problems now, especially in middle east. it is common to see men are ignoring women's right to choose their life, to build their future, to get a job, to study, to even dream of a better life sometimes. instead they only see THEIR RIGHTS, and what they expect from her. and give themselves the right to judge her and limit her, depending on the fact that the society rules and the traditions are support them, and give them the ability to control women's life. this is the sad fact, that always leads either to break up or to divorce, just because men expect PERFECTION from their women!!!thanks god, there are some men who could understand and support their women or life could be unbearable...so anyone agree or disagree with me??

[anwiii 17]

i agree and disagree. you talk about men wanting perfection in their women. i disagree with that. but i think it's just how men make you feel sometimes. the reality is that expectations are a relationship killer. if you have to expect something other than what your partner is not, then you have to question why your with this person in the first place. it's funny how people start to change a little when in a relationship. they start to expect more so they are going to complain more about their own expectations on the other person that isn't being fullfilled. expectations may start out to be one person expecting something, but then the other person feels neglected and starts expecting things in return. expectations are like a virus. it gets worse and worse until you figure out what is going on and can change. i have seen a lot of women complain about their man. is that not also saying they want their man to be perfect? why the expectation? it usually leaves the woman feeling bitter, angry, and ugly. the simple solution is just not to expect or push too hard because the simple fact is, if a person has to continuously complain where it makes the other person feel like he or she needs to be perfect, then you really have to question why you are in that relationship if not for the person they already are.....without trying to change them.also, it may start off where you might expect 1 or 2 things from the other person, but expectations are like an addiction too. once you get away with expecting stuff, you start to expect more and more so if a woman is feeling they need to be perfect, then they should really stand up for themselves as soon as they can so it doesn't get any worse than it is. it might create a big arguement, but it's better than feeling like a slave in the long run

[chini13 11]

agree with you both.The situation of the women is different in different societies.Women are independent at many places and are getting equal opportunities.Times are changing though but still the situation is same at many places.People are not able to come out from their old spectrum of thinking.Independent women is not accepted wholeheartedly at many places.A women braking the rules is looked upon differently and many a times is rejected by the society.This is the human nature where we are demanding when in a close relationship.Anwii is right as well when he says that expectation is a killer.This is what happens in both the sides.Ohh its so much to right about these things.In middle east the situation is bad although changing in India but still there are many places here where the things are still same and it is sad to know that.Every man wants her lady to perfect and his puppet to follow his instructions.He wants her to be the best in all things and hell lots of expectations rising.She should never have a personal ambition in life and should live for his men only.

[web_designer 7]

Every man wants her lady to perfect and his puppet to follow his instructions.He wants her to be the best in all things and hell lots of expectations rising.She should never have a personal ambition in life and should live for his men only.

god chini, it is right, and makes me feel sick. i don't know why these kind of men have a lot of self-esteem and think it is their right. and she should give away all her dreams and ambitions just to please him and guarantee his desire.

but i really think the big part of men thinking like that is what they get from their society, their family, the beliefs they grown up on. nowadays, a lot of families arise their children in a different way, but in the same time much more returned back even more. it is real and sad at the same time.

the reality is that expectations are a relationship killer

i agree on this, a lot of expectations will bring frustration and disappointment. which finally will kill everything beautiful between couples. each one of them should know that there's a limit to everyone and shouldn't push her to her limits, or expecting more than she could. if men could understand that, then they won't expect a lot of their women, and be satisfied with her as she is.

the real problem is they EXPECT a lot from her, and DEMAND that from her. they demand to give away her dreams, her carrier, her study, and be there for him 24/7.and this is just unfair and unacceptable, but how many women could stand up for their life and fight for it without loosing their partners or ruining their life?? i doubt there are many.

[mahesh2k 0]

Hmm, interesting topic here. If we digg too much into it then we?re likely to hit many walls. So let?s open the bag of expectations. Well i?m assuming that people are getting married in arrange or family reference way. In this case, let?s forget about all the love marriages. So if any woman who wants to get married or wants to get into relationship with person who has following expectations:

 

- Rich or medium class (but money is important, how much it depends on that woman and her thinking)

- Working or having financial security

- Good looking, this that and other sexual preferences

- Gentleman/funny/entertaining in behavior / or whacko depends on type of girl

- Caring, Empathetic

- and list goes on...

 

Very few women on earth compromise with above said qualities. For example, almost 99% (okay i made that percentage) woman will forget everything if they get chance to marry rich brat. All the other qualities are allowed to sink in loch ness if their partner is rich and fetching more money everyday. Woman can adjust with rest of the qualities. Then again there are few women who can?t compromise on any other qualities but are ready to compromise on money side. These things vary but rarely do we see such females out there. Let?s face it, we all humans these days marry to each other resume or looks/money and then mentally prepare ourselves to fall in love.

 

Now lets take a look at expectations from mens side. What men want:

 

- Virgin girl (atleast in asia, most of the guys prefer virgin girl but always hungry to screw many girls before marriage and will not marry a girl who is not virgin).

- Good looking (especially smile and boobs) what boobs ? yeah i mean it, if there is any exception with any man then i doubt about his preference.

- Educated, yeah plenty of reasons, many dumb girl can cause problem and rarely stick into relationship. Educated girl can help family in terms of finance and while raising kids and many other advantages are there...

- Cooking, not necessary but have seen many couple doing fine with maid. so this is not expectation with all.

 

So why both genders are so picky ? Think about it. It?s about pleasure and easy way out unless you?re in love. Only in love people forget every worst qualities of partner and stick with them for life. Otherwise when people marry the arrange marriage way, they marry with qualities of people and they try to reduce the burden in relationship in every possible way. Or you can say people marry with resume or money. Such relationship breaks when one of the partner gets into disability or not fertile etc. It?s not that only men are picky but even women are picky too. It?s just that in some countries women don?t have equal status with mens and that?s why they view men with negatively.

 

Try reading this book : Esther Vilar ? The Manipulated Man.

 

You?ll be surprised at what a woman can write about position of woman in the society. It?s really eye-opening book with slightly different perspective towards women. P:S- author of this post on Xisto was never into relationship and is single so far because of his introversion (lone wolf behavior).

[rpgsearcherz 5]

I don't really believe in anyone being "perfect," but both people must definitely give sacrifices to make a relationship work. No matter who the people are or what they think, there are *some* things they sacrifice. If they didn't the relationship wouldn't last.I do believe a lot of people have too high of standards though -- especially when one person wants the *other* person to do all of the sacrificing. It should be mutualistic; not parasitic.

[web_designer 7]

oh mahesh, you are so right in many things, i do like your post, even i can't agree on your percentage rate (99%), but i agree that most of women are picky too when they want to marry, especially when love is not counted. but the only difference that most of women after they get married they don't demand to obey or order her partner to do what they want, maybe they use another ways but not this way.

about the love marriage, it is a whole different subject. people when fall in love they can't see the bad qualities in their beloved person, they only see what they want to see, and some even worse, lie to themselves and pretend they found the perfect soul mate when he is not even close. but after a while when they start to expect certain things from their partner and find out that he or she is not perfect as they think, they take a big shock and feel disappointed.

Try reading this book : Esther Vilar – The Manipulated Man.
You’ll be surprised at what a woman can write about position of woman in the society. It’s really eye-opening book with slightly different perspective towards women. P:S- author of this post on Xisto was never into relationship and is single so far because of his introversion (lone wolf behavior)

thank you for your suggestion, i will keep it in my mind.
and mahesh, according to your opinions in here, i am not surprised for you being a lonely wolf , but i hope, you could meet a woman from these 1% you mentioned before.

@ rpgsearcherz, agree with you completely, marriage or relationship needs a 100% giving and sacrificing from both sides, if only one of them did that then they would lose each other and walk in different directions.

[fermin25 3]

I am totally agree in one thing: The men want the perfect woman for them. But I think you are totally wrong in your arguments because also the women want the perfect man for them. So everybody, men or women, are looking for the perfection and maybe this is not insane or unfair, because this is part of our nature. The men want a great woman for them: pretty, responsible, know to cook, to clean, to educate the children and it?s ok. The things that maybe are not ok some this thinkness of some men are like following: A woman with big breast, sexy, hot and great butt. This is maybe ridicoulus but is part of our nature, also. An experiment in an university revealed that women with big breast are more atractive to the men?s eyes because the size of the breast represents the fertility of the woman. It?s strange but it is truth.At the end, all men or women only want to somebody who loves them and take care of them. That?s all. But like everything in the life the divorces happened when one part is totally tired of the other part and decide to separate definetely. Our girlfriends maybe are not perfect in almost all the cases and maybe the breakouts in the couples are for some causes like the dislove and the rutine.A woman don?t have to be perfect to be loved like she deserves, but maybe have to be a little perfect and make some sacrifices to keep the couple and the family in some cases, joined. That?s my opinion.

[chini13 11]

Ohh so correct Mahesh.i don't understand this why men want his wife to be decent and smart and education but a girlfriend should be sexy may not virgin (she is an eye candy).I think we can demand from each other that is not bad.But try to demand logical things.Who don't have a past and if u accept someone in a marriage ...accept them with their flaws and wholeheartedly.Look at the brighter side and minor things should be disregarded.

[web_designer 7]

I am totally agree in one thing: The men want the perfect woman for them. But I think you are totally wrong in your arguments because also the women want the perfect man for them. So everybody, men or women, are looking for the perfection and maybe this is not insane or unfair, because this is part of our nature. The men want a great woman for them: pretty, responsible, know to cook, to clean, to educate the children and it´s ok. The things that maybe are not ok some this thinkness of some men are like following: A woman with big breast, sexy, hot and great butt. This is maybe ridicoulus but is part of our nature, also. An experiment in an university revealed that women with big breast are more atractive to the men´s eyes because the size of the breast represents the fertility of the woman. It´s strange but it is truth.

 

At the end, all men or women only want to somebody who loves them and take care of them. That´s all. But like everything in the life the divorces happened when one part is totally tired of the other part and decide to separate definetely. Our girlfriends maybe are not perfect in almost all the cases and maybe the breakouts in the couples are for some causes like the dislove and the rutine.

 

A woman don´t have to be perfect to be loved like she deserves, but maybe have to be a little perfect and make some sacrifices to keep the couple and the family in some cases, joined. That´s my opinion.

i agree with you that both women and men want the perfection in their partners, but wanting things and believing it so different and i stated that before. i think we should believe that our partner is not perfect, because he or she is a human and humans are not perfect. but what i am talking about in here, is men who order their women to be perfect for them. for example she should do some plastic surgery just to please him even she doesn't like that. or he may order her to give away her job or her study because he thinks she should be in the house for him. maybe you didn't hear of such things but it is happening in this part of the world and ALL THE TIME. and that what really drive me crazy, a selfish men use their ability to control women, and if she denied they start threatening her in so many ways, financially, when she depend on him or by divorcing her and took the children from her, or even hitting her. it is a fact still happen even we are in the twenty one century.

 

Ohh so correct Mahesh.i don't understand this why men want his wife to be decent and smart and education but a girlfriend should be sexy may not virgin (she is an eye candy).I think we can demand from each other that is not bad.But try to demand logical things.Who don't have a past and if u accept someone in a marriage ...accept them with their flaws and wholeheartedly.Look at the brighter side and minor things should be disregarded.

oh chini, you are so right, the majority of men in the middle east want their wives to be educated and decent but when they want to have fun or want to look cool they decide to be with a girlfriend. therefor, they think when they get married then their days of fun and look cool are ended hahaa.

 

but you know what, there is another good side, they search for a respected and reputable girl from a well-known family because he wants to respect her and cherish her and absolutely he will interest of getting a good and smart girl first then he will interest in beauty because he wants his children to be educated and growing up in a good family. and here i think that her part starts, she should do her best to look good to prevent him from feeling sorry for himself that his days of being with beautiful girls are gone .

 

now i remember once when a woman was going to shopping with her husband and picked a very beautiful dress but when he saw it on her he refused to let her put in on and go out because she looked very beautiful, and he just said do you want people say i am walking with my girlfriend not my wife??!! .

[sheepdog 10]

I don't think it's just a man want's woman to be perfect thing, I think woman are just as guilty when it comes to finding Mr. Right, or Mr. Perfect. And here in lies the problem. We are taught from a very early age that we will find the "perfect" partner out there someday. This is an absolute fantasy. Nobody is perfect. And it's a down right shame that we have that drilled into our heads, because it causes a lot of heartaches, broken homes, and dysfunctional familys and children who really get screwed up emotionally. Nobody is going to live up to your complete expectations. And the sooner you figure that out, the better off and happier you will be. Here's the simple trick. All you have to do is find somebody who's faults you can live with, and accept them for who they are, and Wa La....happy ever after! It's so simple. To bad very few people figure it out until it's too late.

[web_designer 7]

Here's the simple trick. All you have to do is find somebody who's faults you can live with, and accept them for who they are, and Wa La....happy ever after! It's so simple. To bad very few people figure it out until it's too late.

haha, great idea sheepdog
i really hope that people show their faults to others and be honest. this could fix a lot of troubles in this world. but unfortunately, very few people do or believe in that.

sometimes i hope that we can use Polygraph before marriage. so everyone will know a lot about the other one

[rob86 2]

A polygraph? What are you trying to do, obsolete marriages?

[anwiii 17]

i wish i could have had my wife take one before we got married! i know she would have failed miserably because that is all she does.....LIE

[rpgsearcherz 5]

A polygraph? What are you trying to do, obsolete marriages?

Very, very true. Relationships are supposed to be based on trust. Tons of relationships die every day due to mistrust. If you can't trust the other person you might as well not even be together.

On the same side, it should be blatantly obvious when your significant other is lying. People act different when they do and the better you know someone the better you should know their "tells."