Would You Join The Church Of Google?! :D

[The Simpleton 2]

I found this weird site a few moments ago and it was really funny! And they claim they have hundreds of followers! It's

 

THE CHURCH OF GOOGLE!

I didn't spend much time on the site but from what I saw I could say that there were some people who indeed believe in google as a religion! Of course most of these are atheists in real life; they think of Google as God because it......oops sorry, the site prefers to refer to Google as 'she' - ok, so she answers all their queries and prayers by providing the right results whenever and wherever they want. Also, they believe Google is God because she is present everywhere (virtually). There seems to be some serious thought behind this site. Just take a look at the proof they've offered to prove that Google is God!

 

</b></p> ? PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

 

? PROOF #2

 

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

 

? PROOF #3

 

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

 

? PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

 

? PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

 

? PROOF #6

 

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

 

? PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

 

? PROOF #8

 

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

 

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods"

 

? PROOF #9

 

Evidence of Google's existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. If seeing is believing, then surf over to https://www.google.de/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=BwkjVKfAD8uH8QfckIGgCQ&gws_rd=ssl and experience for yourself Google's awesome power. No faith required.

 

Reading all this makes you think if this is a serious thing. But if you get time, take a look at their commandments and you'll begin to wonder if all of this is just a joke. Anyway, have a good time at the church!

 

[mandla 0]

surely you must have a lot of idle time on your hands to read this bollox. I mean what has the world come too. How desperate are people to conform to religion that they even find a search engine as a religion or church. I mean the next thing is they will have church of Mobile phones since we rely so much more on mobile or cell phones than google. Quick proof. Whats your brother / sister or best friends mobile phone number. CHances are you dont know it off heart you were like let me get my cell phone and check. Just like we do with google. Whats that site about Purple doughnuts with cherry flavour - oh google it.Then Our kids and the younger generation will have church of Playstaion, Xbox and Wii cause thats all they ever do. oh ofcourse before joining church of google one has to join church of computer. since like christians there is no other way to the Father except through Christ. Well there is no other way to Google except through computer.And yes phones, ipad and PDA's are all computers just not the same shape as a generic PC.And just to answer the question - I would NEVER join the Church of Google

Edited April 29, 2010 by mandla (see edit history)

[mahesh2k 0]

Lol. Already there is too much conversion bull pockey out there. And as most of the church in my region are running wild to make people believe in crap and get money out of pocket. I just want to stay away from church of Google.

[Baniboy 3]

What is it with people that can't recognize a joke? Like really, what the hell is wrong with people? Read their hate mail section if you're bored LMAO.Really, if someone is stupid enough to think they're serious, they deserve to be bugged by things like the church of google or the flying spaghetti monster or the invisible pink unicorn and so on!

[kira423 1]

Honestly what kind of question is this? If someone was to look at everything that you posted on here, you may be able to pursue a simple person, but who, and why would you worship a website??? 0.o

[linekill 1]

Wahahaha. Nice set of reasonings! Google really is God. And he even forgot to mention that you won't even notice that you're already in the influence of Google! Thy will be done. It's just a joke but who knows. Christianity was once considered a joke. HahahaAmen, Google!

[The Simpleton 2]

Honestly what kind of question is this? If someone was to look at everything that you posted on here, you may be able to pursue a simple person, but who, and why would you worship a website??? 0.o

Lol don't blame me - it is just as mandla said in the first post - I had some spare time and stumbled onto this post at another forum, so I thought I'd put it in here to see the sort of reaction all of you would give. And I'm not disappointed! Some of the replies were really interesting and funny - I think if we wait long enough, we may find a member willing to join it Let's wait and see

[roger112 0]

Yup! I think I'd join the church of Google, anyday, anywhere!!They'd definitely make me a reverend..lol

[buxgoddess 1]

Since when did the nerds declare themselves as civilized people. They are just nomads and will remain so that way.Google is nothing but a similar line living on the excreta of the intellectuals and the poeople out there everywhere. We all should feel pity on Google because they are so much self declared self-centered group that they have the audacity to call themselves GOD. Alas. not Amen.

[OpaQue 15]

Imagine Google and United Nation Army.

[roger112 0]

I'm trying so hard not ot imagine that ()

[The Simpleton 2]

Lol that's really interesting to imagine Just a few hours ago I opened a thread about how google buys all domain names related to its brand; it's fiercely protective of itself, not allowing anyone else to come close. I don't think that's the quality of a good religion!

[Baniboy 3]

Lol that's really interesting to imagine Just a few hours ago I opened a thread about how google buys all domain names related to its brand; it's fiercely protective of itself, not allowing anyone else to come close. I don't think that's the quality of a good religion!

Hehe, talking of google, there's AdBlock for Google Chrome, but Google was sneaky and evil as always and made it not work in Youtube.
Search... and Mail... and Analytics (damn I thought I only used one of its services). I have a hunch that some day, aliens will come to earth and destroy Google and Chuck Norris, leaving us defenseless. Oh wait, we'll still have mickey d's

[The Simpleton 2]

Hehe, talking of google, there's AdBlock for Google Chrome, but Google was sneaky and evil as always and made it not work in Youtube.Search... and Mail... and Analytics (damn I thought I only used one of its services). I have a hunch that some day, aliens will come to earth and destroy Google and Chuck Norris, leaving us defenseless. Oh wait, we'll still have mickey d's ../../public/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif

All corporations are meant to be EVIL in someway or the other I haven't tried AdBlock but it's no surprise that Google won't block its own ads. It would severely deter its own source of income. I sometimes wonder if Google hasn't earned enough money already; why are they still pestering people with ads?!!

And if the aliens came and destroyed Google then I guess ordinary people can say goodbye to their dream sites coz no one will be able to find them without Google

[iGuest 3]

Hi - I've written about this. You might be interested. Could Google be the new tower of Babel?

infobarrehurch