Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up How do I deal with this?

[RockinTheCasbah 0]

I've been going out with this guy for about 2 years now, and for the past 1 or 2 months he was acting a bit weird. A couple days ago he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship, he wanted to be single, beacause he's been in serious relationships for a quite a while, so he just wanted to have some time to himself. Well, with the help of a friend of mine and his, I found out he's going out with this other girl, and he's been thinking about a serious relationship with her for a while...and I don't know if he actually waited untill I was out of the picture or not.I'm having a very hard time dealing with this, for he was my first possibly true love...or as true as it can get right now. I know I'll eventually get over him, maybe not completely, but I don't know how to deal with this right now. Can anyone give me some advice?

[gaea 0]

*hug* I'm sorry you're going through this. It took me years to get over the breakup from my first serious relationship (which lasted three years), so I know how tough it can be.The most important thing you can do right now is just to try and take care of yourself. Remember that your friends and family really love you, and that you're not alone. I know it really hurts now, but this too shall pass. Try to do things which will make yourself happy; spend some time with your closest friends. Dealing with the pain itself can be really hard...you need to accept it in order to heal (ignoring it will only make it worse), but try not to dwell on it to the point where you're constantly miserable. Lastly, don't blame yourself. It was his choice to leave, you did nothing to drive him away.I'm going to PM you my email address. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Or just need someone to listen while you try and let things out.Things will get better, but it's going to take time.Take care of yourself,--Paolo

Edited August 11, 2006 by gaea (see edit history)

[crazyteens 0]

sometimes in life u gotta let go things which u want the most...of course that ain't easy. I had a relation with my ex since 4 years...i was so in love wit her that i was willing to sacrifice anything.n i mean anything. it's been 7months since we had breakup...still i remember her...somehow we manage to be frens though.i c her very often...she one gal i can neva forget..no matter how hard i try

[stephanie 0]

i'm sorry for you,it's an horrible situation. But i think you should try to be strong,try to get over him. think like this: you are a nice girl,i'm sure that he is the one that stays losing without you. and don't worry if he was with her before leaving you or not,that doesn't matters,don't think about it even. You have to have fun and meet new people,try to take him of your head. I mean,i know it's hard and i know it hurts but the pain you feel will get smaller each day,and with time,you won't even remember it,you just have to be patient. But while you wait,try not to isolate and don't feel sorry because it is not worth it. relationships come and go and you migth think you love him a lot but when you find another guy you will see that you didn't love this one as much as you tougth you did. and if he didin't like you anymore,you are better without him also. so be strong girl,put some make up on,dress nice and go to the movies with your girls and then go to a bar and have a drink or something,without thinking about man,you will see everything will be ok. good luck****

[lawmatchmaker 0]

I've been going out with this guy for about 2 years now, and for the past 1 or 2 months he was acting a bit weird. A couple days ago he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship, he wanted to be single, beacause he's been in serious relationships for a quite a while, so he just wanted to have some time to himself. Well, with the help of a friend of mine and his, I found out he's going out with this other girl, and he's been thinking about a serious relationship with her for a while...and I don't know if he actually waited untill I was out of the picture or not.
I'm having a very hard time dealing with this, for he was my first possibly true love...or as true as it can get right now. I know I'll eventually get over him, maybe not completely, but I don't know how to deal with this right now. Can anyone give me some advice?

I think that basically if you find that you cannot trust your partner anymore its better to just break up and carry on with life. Obviously, your boyfriend was not very upfront with you initially about why he wanted a break up, and I think that thats not a good policy at all in any relationship. Since he has already made his decision, I think the best you can do is to abide by his choices and try to cope with it. I know you feel uncomfortable with it, but for the long term I think thats the right decision to make.

[tuddy 0]

On the other hand you have to wonder how long this guys new relationship is going to last. 2 Years with you, and suddenly it's all over red carover! However life is hard, we all must learn from pervious expereicnes and move along into the future of success.

[cangor 0]

if you ask me, that's really rude. If he was really a great, honest guy he would have just told you - it would have hurt still the same, but it's being honest and the two of you might still be able to be friends in the future. Though, really, if I was in his position I wouldn't know what to do, he should have just come out and told you. This other girl could have turned out to be a real loser and then he could always come crying back. :DWell, take care. It might be a while until you're really over the whole thing but you just need to remember that you're your own person and that just because this guy broke up with you doesn't mean you're any different. If he hadn't wanted to be with you but he stuck to you for a long time it'd end up feeling fake to both of you and chances are more people than just you would have ended up getting hurt.

[Sweety 0]

Even though it's going to be hard....just learn how to slowly move on without him. After 2 years of a serious relationship with him you can bet that you'll think about him tons. Try to stay active so that you don't get all depressed with thoughts. And remember that everything happens for a reason. There's someone out there for you that will appreciate the special person that you are. Remain positive and surround yourself with people that love you ok. Best wishes!!!!

[iGuest 3]

O.k what this guy is thinking is that he just didn't want you to find out because maybe deep down inside he does love you but he was not commited to a long relationship. He didn't want to break your heart so he told you he didn't want to be in a long relationship. Give him a break, sometimes it sucks being with the same person. Telling you the truth if he DIDN'T LOVE YOU then he would of told you the truth about seeing another girl. So it brings to my point of course he loves you, give him awhile. 3 or 4 weeks he will want you back. All you have to do is make him think that you don't care and search for another guy, try to make him jealous. believe me it will work, just try...!-Lala

[iGuest 3]

Be strong - you are better than that. I just recently got broken up with from my 2 and half year relationship. It hurts, burns, and truly feels like the world is going to end - however it is not, just make sure that you don't do anything that you regret. Make sure you grab hold of a piece of your pride - even if you have to fabricate pride, hold it up in front of yourself and when you really want to call him, because - believe me you will, learn how to say "screw you, I am better that that." It slowly gets easier, but make sure what ever happens you hold onto pride - and don't get too drunk. Good luck and take care. Xx-nats

[iGuest 3]

How to deal with separation and breakup after catching girl cheating

Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

 

Ok here it goes, basically I found out that my girlfriend who I though I was going to spend the rest of my life with and have kids with was living back with her ex husband. I knew for a few days and then confronted her with it and broke it off. Since I have found out a bunch of lies but my heart and mind say I still love her. If she truely hates me and thinks I'm psycho would she pick up the phone?? I am bi-polar and this isn't making it very easy. After I broke up with her I got pulled over for driving on a suspended license and so while I was in jail she came over with a police officer and took all her stuff and took things from my house her clothes and other stuff even though I asked them to leave because they were trespassing and I didnt want them in there and the officer still allowed her to procede she even got on my computer and deleted all pictures of us and my digital camera and picture frame. As well as beating me out of money that was owed to me. I knew something was up because all the time we were together I never met her daughter or ever went to her house so I am assuming she is still married or something either way I am gonna let him know about us for the sake of his heart because he sounds like a good guy and to save him the same pain. But my heart is crushed and the pain is intense right now. What should I do? Should I stay away from her if she tries to come back? What should I do?

 

-question by John

[iGuest 3]

People are inherently selfish.

Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

 

Replying to RockinTheCasbah

 

Same thing happened to me after almost three years together. Lying woman told me she didn't want to be in a relationship at all, and she resented me for the fact that I helped her get a job in Canada and that we worked for the same company meant that she couldn't talk to me at work. She was a 'private person' who cared what other people thought.

 

Well, turns out that it only applied when it came to me. She moves out of our apartment immediately after getting landed immigrant status. Finds another job three months down the road and posts that she has a new boyfriend on facebook. Her new boyfriend turns out to be a coworker. This and she still has half of her stuff in my apartment.

 

I got played. Selfish little girl.

 

-reply by Trust is for chumps.

[iGuest 3]

i know what your going though

Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

 

It hurts I know I'm still hurting I dated a guy since I was

14 years old and now I'm 18 (4 years ) and it hurts so bad we broke up

More then a month ago and I was the one who drove him to brake up with me

Cause I was just sick of him treating me like **** but I reget it cause

Now I'm feeling this was and now he has another girl that basically

 

Perfect he still tells me he loves me and he always will but its just hard to be in this

State of mind I hope you get better I really have no advice for you

 

I just wanted to say I know what your going though and it hurts maybe We can get though this together .

 

-paris

 

-reply by paris

[iGuest 3]

breakups are hard

Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

 

Me and my partner have been together just over 3 years and have lived together for 2 years. He has alot of stress at the minute from work and various other things including me. So yestarday I was talking to a friend at work, telling her how he has been treating me over the last few days, basically just unintrested in the relationship, then I come home from work and didnt say a word to him as he was busy writing his letter for a job promotion. He come in the bedroom and says its not just me but other things aswell, and I just know straight away he means about the way he has been latley. So anyways we ended up talking and alot of tears were shed on my part, but we talked about breaking up and stuff, and it was hard...Its was real fu**ing hard, I have avoided telling him I love him in emails today like I usually do, because he sayss that I say it way to often, but I also want to try and distance myself from him so that when we do break up, I will already have started the greaving process. We have come to the conclusion, that we are going to see how he feels about us after the stress has died down, and if he finds he still wants to be with me then we will just have fun untill july as I have a job offer abroard starting in july, its a job I always wanted to do and as soon as we were on the rocks I started looking as it is the first thing I would do if we broke up, but I gave up a good oppertunity in france 2 years ago, and once I told my partner, while we were having the breakup talk, he said I should go do it, don't let the oppertunity pass me by, and go an do it for me, and he would be so proud.

So thats what is going to happen I think.

 

Just a peice of advice that I have been thinking about latley.

Someone said, or I read somewhere and it is so so true

 

'once you stop crying, you will be thinking to yourself that he/she was a great partner, the best you could wish for and all the bad stuff will be clouded by your great memories, but just try to remeber that you did break up for a reason'

 

And its so true. I'm thinking now about all the good stuff and I don't want to think about any bad stuff, but he has flaws and he did do bad stuff.

 

Break ups are hard, but lean on friends for support, everyone goes through them. First break up is particualy hard, because I don't think I ever felt a pain like I did last night. And I'm just hoping I get over this soon

 

All my love

Jen

Xxx

[iGuest 3]

I understand how you are feeling

Dealing With A Long Term Relationship Break Up

 

Replying to RockinTheCasbah My name is dana and I am a wreck right this minute. My girlfriend of two years officially left me for another man yesterday. Words can't describe how amazing the relationship was, as bumpy of a road as it was. A month ago, I realized I needed help, I have some problems but nothing that makes me any less of a great person. I told her I needed a short break so I could get help for myself and she fully undestood with a little hesitation, but who wouldn't? Stuff went alright for a full month, and I see she started get a ride with her co-worker and I knew something wasn't right. Sure enough she was seeing him without telling me and she made in official yesterday. My heart sank from where it was, to the tip of my toes. I'm finding it hard to eat, hard to feel, hard to breathe, and hard to stop shaking. I lost the other half of my life, and I don't know what to do.The pain is unbearable, can anyone be of help to me? Thank you so much for reading this

 

-reply by Dana Frobel