tuddy

Are you saying she actually is cheating or just flirting? Whilst I fully agree with the above posts there is alsono problem if she broke up first with her boyfriend before starting a relationship with you as long as you dind't play any part in breaking them up, which all the flirting is helping that cause if he finds out, then starts asking questions. Be mature and if she wants to cheat on her boyfriend with you then the above posts apply, but if sh goes off her own backs thinks about the decisions she is making then she ends up with you then I see no problem. Just be thoughtful about the fact that what if she meets someone better then you? But thats a problem with any relationship. It's a catch 22. Just don't make yourself feel better or be in a better position then her boyfriend for yourself, let her make the decisions and the right ones.

Love, not quite. Like each other, no doubt. If it was the love then there'd be way more to the story then that, and that story to me just sounds like you two should really get to know each other more and go to the movies and out etc a few times and do as abminara says and start looking at a more serious complicated relationship.The last thing you want to do is rush in and say you're in love and give him and yourself a false sense of "security" that nothing will come between you both or that you love each other only to reliese 3 months into the relationship that you no longer like him and don't want to be with him, which I can't see happening if your story above is cliche as it sounds. :-) Good luck, you'll be fine though.

It simply dependent on each person I believe. My best friend is quite happy to sit there while his Girlfriend is sitting on my hugging and kissing my forehead. However, when she was with her ex, He was not so happy and to be blunt he spent many nights walking down the street in an angry mood. To me thats a good friendship between me and this girl, I love her to death, and yes i'd like to go out with her, but she has made advances to kiss m more passionate an with that I have had to gracefully say NO. However, between her and her current boyfriend also my good friend I found out that even thought they "officially" stated that she has broken up with her ex, they were secrectly going behind his back anyway, and for that they both lost a piece of my respect and made me have a hard think about ever wanting to go out with her. Even though I didn't like her exboyfriend it isn't something I'd expect happen to anyone. You don't like the person you're with, you must end the relationship before starting another.However, how far is too far with flirting? My view is flirting is harmless, if there is no intention behind it. I'd get just as upset with my girlfriend if I knew she was flirting with some guy to actually fully intentionally cheat on me and fail as if she tried and suceeded. Woul it ruin the relationship I have with her? No. However she'd lose some trust and she would have to be careful from there in. Which is why I am already second guessing a relationship with this girl im interested in.I also have forgot to mention the fact that whilst it is based on each persons own beliefs. Just remember that your partners isn't the same as your own and therefore the topic should be talked about and a comprise meet if either likes to go out and party. If I fully trust my partner, which I do most cases then I'm willing to allow more leeway but as soon as the boundry is crossed then it gets tougher. Relationship isn't about you only.

Tell him directly how you feel. No humour, no *BLEEP*, no hesitation. Just take a leap of faith into the unknown which isn't all that unknown. From what you have said, I can quite confidenly gather that he has some liking towards you, wether or not it be more then friends is yet to be found out. Just when together just fins a nice spot together and tell him how you feel, and he'll tell you the same, the conversation will just flow.Dont worry about losing his friendship etc, if you're close friends he'll deal with it. If he has already gone away, can;t you handwrite him a letter? That is also much more sentiental then an email. Everyday, is stalkish, if he doesn't reply, weekly, not so bad. Just depends what you and how you say, but you have got to tell him how you feel, most guys aren't mind readers and he probably wasn't asking you out because he knew he would be going away and wouldnt get to see you, which would upset you and has!!

Oh please. It's the average these days for there to be two to three years between people and I think it's all dependent on the culture your in wether this relationship would be accepted. If you start doubting yourself now, even doubting a relationship before its began then we get no where in this life, there wouldnt be any point to living.You should take her to see a movie, if you don't like each other then you both sit and watch the movie with out the touching and lovey stuff tha goes with the movie and after the movie is finished you should have an opinion of where the relationship/friendship should go from ther and tell her stright or she'll tell you to take a straight. First thing is just to meet her and spend some time with her.

I'd go with what you suggested. I personally think you answered your own problem with your own solution. You may only hit problems if/when she talks to the people you have just finished working with, they may not say good things about you. I think if you move quickly, but thoughtfully, and she likes you, then you'll have no such problems at all.An office is always going to have gossip. In one way it tests the relationship and pushes it to the limits, but in other ways it could just prevent a good working relationship from even starting. You no longer work there, so just presue her any other girl you'd like.

That is only half of the cause. Yes, people are now rushing into marriage at the age of 20-27 and not really know the in's and out's of the person they're commiting to. People change over time, and sometimes even without seeing it coming or knowing it has come. Yes, marriage is something that is those that mutually love each other but in todays society the marrying age is becomming lower and lower and this means you have less chance of it working.Think bout 4-5 years ago, how many 16 year olds would come to you and say "We're engaged"? Now think to the how many have said it in the past year, it would be much more then the last 4-5 years combined. Sometimes it is for all the wrong reasons to begin with anyway, you think you love each other because of a child but then reliese that, no you don't love them and it only slides completely down hill from there.1. Know the person before you get married; know them as good as you know yourself.2. If the love is gone; don't try and hide it; don't try ingnore; tackle the issue head on.3. Having children is a huge step, it's no just two peoples that feelings or life are involved now, it's also the life of a child. Wise thoughts are always needed.

This one really is one year old. Kulldot, what are you trying to do here? :XD: Stick with new topics, you're confusing people. LOL

I rang Dr. Phil last night as my mentor and he said "Tell Willy to wake up and just ask her!" because "Relationships wether friends or more is all about communication." Good luck mate, and let us know how you go?

Topic is nearly one year old!! :XD: Maybe we should see if we can find out what happened, but i'm not holding my breathe so lets leave the topic to die gracefully.

Your welcome. Keeping on topic, dating may start any number of ways. Also has two concept points: 1. Are you ready to start dating? 2. How do you commence dating someone?I think too many people get pressured into dating well before they are ready to, both mentaly and spritually. Most younger people just look at it as a way to have someone to call thier boyfriend/girlfriend and some times regret some of the decisions they made later on in life. Often you'll couples break up and then move on to someone else only to happen again and most relationships were both parties are under 18 at the time do end and are never permenant. Yet, they act as if though they are in love and that is what causes problems of todays society.OF course if you're ready to start dating, the next question is, "How do I ask her out?" or "How do I get a date?" and of course to some people it just comes naturally with looks or talnets then to others its more a curse because they are shy etc. etc. I believe the world would be simplier if some people took their heads from away from their *bottom* we'd have better relationships in this world not based on soley on looks. I'm Finished.PS. We will always be here for you! Through think or Thin! :XD:

Whilst I have to agree with most of the above, don't just turn blind sight of her. I mean if you're going to back off, don't stop being a friend or someone she can talk to. What will be, will be. Now thats a debatle one, because sometimes people need some encourage or resurement that everything will be fine before they leap into something. Give her some space, just give her little things that will jump out at her and say "I will always treat you right ... etc. blah blah blah.." ... and from these hints she picks up, and you being her friend, you'll gradually grow closer and closer together. Don't let yourself get way to close that she invests in you as "good Friend" to the point that will not go out with you for the old age excuse of I don't want to lose you as my friend or you are like a brother to me. You'll soon pick what she would like to have in a boyfriend and thats what you aim towards. However, don't push her to far, you may lose her altogether and that's not helpful to you or her, in the end result she wants a friend, and so do you, but you know you want something more as well. General Advice for all I thinks.

I presume you have seen pictures of eachother and have actually stayed faithful? I think you may be aphersenhive becauce people do change from being behind a phone/computer etc to face-to-face. I say you really just need to find a nice quite place to go for a walk, if you both really love each other then you'll jump into each others arms as soon as your in sight of the other.Will you regret it if comes to the end of summer and you still havent seen him? What will he think? He is probably thinking the same as you. He is just as nervous as you i'd say, and if he wants to meet, shows alot from him. Unless there is a full complicated story behind this, I think you are worrying over nothing at all. Just meet with him and be yoursevles and have fun together?

Alot can or can't happen in 3 weeks. Same bus as you only 20mins eariler, what are the chances of that happening? Good Luck.PS. Lilemi, can I ask something? Are you male or female?..and Age? Your going to take my title! lol

Take it context though, most of the online relationships don't work because they are over great distances. You got to meet and talk to her before you got to serious in anything, sort of. I say you had a combination of luck and skill. You obvisouly were looking for someone local to you, then you made it a non-online relationship simply by going out an meeting each other, and getting to know each other has helped your relationship to work, because you can also be together phsyically.That was a pretty smooth move in on her though. ... Wish I had it that easy, I have to push the conversation that way.

Wait, you haven't even told her how you feel. That's the only mistake so far. You have to tell her, provided you do it face to face. Don't mess around with fate, waiting to see if she'll come to you, go to her. If she likes chatting on this okut site whatever it is, then you may be more disappointed then if you just tell her how you feel then follow rajibbd of letting her go and if she comes she will be yours. she may say no being her sisters friend.

Well I guess you held out longer then most. 14 years of age is when they worry more about the oppersite sex more then school these days I think. All I have to say though, is balance between everything. If you become "obessed" to the point that you start slipping in your studies your not thinking straight and could potionally damage what you may have, ie. friendship etc.Always have a clear head when talking to her, and I understand what you say about giving "beautiful" girls compliants because they know this, but midnight is quite right, and you can't just say "You're Beautiful", you have to provide more to your statments if you're wanting to stand above the rest. "Your hair looks exceptionally good today" as opposed to, "Your hair looks good". Th first statment gives her the feeling you like her hair everyday, or most days and that today it looks amazing and is liking to put a smile on her face if she isn't up herself or doesn't like you; don't make rash opinions if she doesn't say anything or smile etc. She may be Shy, busy... so on. Unless you know her well, don't focus on the body laugnuage yet.When is we going to see that song...?

Cause these low lifes are basically only roaming around online because they are either bored or victimes of abuse in the offline world, therefore it makes them feel bigger for that moment. Gone are the days of "Dont do to someone, what one wouldn't want done to themselves" and now online bullying is so easy because it's much easier to get ahold of this information. You have a fight with one friend at school who knows your email address -> Spreads it to 30 people who then spread it to another 30 so on and so on. Your never going to stop cyber bullying as long as there is always offline bullying going on. You call someone a "N0b" at school and then you have a punch on, but it still goes into a flaming conversation over MSN Messenger/AIM/Yahoo etc...

Aim, MSN? I'm sorry but that's just taking the easy way out and I for one have got to say that it shows & says alot more about you doing face to face then sitting behind a computer. You don't have the body langauge or facial expressions to back up what you're saying. Just think of it this way, Whats the worst thats going to happen? She'll say No. Then what? You find someone else. Just go and talk with her, ask if she is doing anything on the weekend, and ask to borrow 4-5-6 hours of her time to go out somewhere, simple really.

Don't try and be something you're not just to impress the girls, because the girls that you're trying to impress you won't have a bond or anything that will keep you together unless the relationship is totally based on something like being at school together. You don't have a hobbie as such, but you have friends, just hang out with friends. You obviusouly go to parties? You'll be amazed who you meet through friends of friend. Working out at the gym, at school, now why didn't I think of that. If you like doing that, then continue, I think you'll find once girls catch on thats what you do, they'll be peeping in the windows just to see with your top off. Learning the guiter, ok so from gym to guiter. I wouldn't change that just for a girl, If they don't like you because of that, then there is there problem to deal with, however Id be very suprised to the point that i'd die if there weren't any girls out that wouldn't like you unless you're some kind of really big pain in the *BLEEP*. So, just continue being you and enjoy your life as you wish, and out of the blue you'll find that special someone.

Never feel stupid about the decisions your heart and gut reaction make. It could have easily gone the other too, just think about what would happen then. If you like someone, YOU must say something, as they say you'll only spend your time thereafter thinking "What if...?". You may get hurt from some people, you may be rejected, but one day you'll meet that special someone you'll marry. You'll then be saying, "I'm glad I did..."

I forgot to add one thing. If you can overcome those fears of asking her out and do, she will she that in positive light, and may give her some "balls" as they say to also say yes to you if thats what she really wants. Shy girls tend to believe they are not good enough for a relationship with you, am I correct on that one girls?

I guess your first stupid mistake was actually meeting her there, for all purposes say you'll pick her up between such and such a time arrive slightly early, meet the folks, have a short yarn, take her out, take her home, and go by the rules that 9block said. Fast Food joint, god help us all.

No point waiting around, you're only going to stop someone "who likes you" from getting with you, who you may end up liking more then this girl anyway. It's a simple concept, but not an simple one to get past. In having said that, you mention that you told her in the most "sucky" way possible, promblem number 1.Resolution: You have to give it more thought, more reseach. Wonder why your friends think what they do? Have you asked them weather they know more then you do? Has she said she'd "never" go out with you. I think you still have the determianation because you know the first time wasn't good enough and you think that's why she said no. I think you want to try a second time, and I'd encourage to do so, but tred lightly.You have to know that she may not like you at all in that way, she may like you, but has some doubts in her mind, she may like you and be shy etc. etc. You need to read her body lauguage and you need to know how to make her happy, and also what makes her smile when she feels down, that is what us guys do!Then simply take her out somewhere and treat her to a good time, fun activities like a fair, or carnival even go karting then dinner maybe somewhere, and just say you have to tell her how you feel, and that you understand if she doesn't feel the same way but you believe you'd make the relationshiop work for such and such a reason and then await her response, IF she doesn't like you, then you need to say that you're ok with that and can we still be friends. Then you need to "FULLY" move on, otherwise you will hurt her and your friendship!

and what then if she really did want to get to know him first? I can see perfectly where she is comng from, being shy isn't as easier as you may think, you have judgements about hat people may think of you etc. etc. If you have so many friends and the such that guys/girls are hanging from you like an ants nest is the opinion of one person going to matter to you? No. If you're shy, alittle insercure about yourself one persons opinion of you could make you very upset and be your undoing. This is all she is doing, making sure that she isn't being set-up. Can I ask what exactly you told her when you called her? You have to know what she likes, what makes her smile and roll it into a ball of love and pass it onto her in a thought-loving giving way of that makes sense. No point sayingI love you, but I don't know the first thing about you, you have to make the moment a romantic one that both you and her will remember.