krazygoddess

LOL I'm a wild card cant make up my mind!

Well 2008 was not that great for me. I would have to say my biggest resolution for this new year is to get my divorce finalized. And I want to loose 20 lbs. lol But I want that every year and it hasnt happened yet. Anyway thats all I dont want alot just a divorce and to stay happy and healthy!

It really does depend on what you are using it for I like to use butter for cooking and margarine for things like toast and what not. There is a big difference in taste and There is nothing like the taste of real butter on fresh popcorn!! Anyway most had the same answer just wanted to throw in my 2 cents worth.

Im too happy with Xisto to even go looking for another place that might be similar, I am just very thankful that I found this place I was so tired of paying for different sites that didnt keep there end of there promise and sites that had ads on your pages, I think this place is the best.

Wishing you the best on your B-day. I do think you deserve a break even a vacation for that matter. Your work here is awesome I love the new credit system and all the has been done to improve Xisto, Even in the short time I have been here. Big praises for you this place is AWESOME I love it here and the people are great. Hope you have a great day!! Sorry I have no imagination either so im not entering in the contest but cant wait to read some of the stories.

There really are no words to express how I feel on this topic, This is just horrible it makes me ashamed to live here. I will never shop on that day. Mine or anyone elses life for that matter is way to important than saving a few bucks. I try not to even leave the house on that day.

Just a little update for you all that have read my story, I put myself in couseling I had my first session the day after Thanksgiving, It went great I am going to continue on with it, I was a little worried at first thinking I would get someone that jsut wanted to drug me up. But he is not like that. He told me I need to give myself alot more credit than what I do, And that Its an amazing story and I have been very strong for my children and have done everything right and that I will not have a breakdown im to strong, But if I keep stressing about it and thinking I will than it may happen. Anyway I am gonna do my best to get my older daughter to go, And I am definately gonna put the young ones there, I figured bye the time we are all down the Doc will be the one needing drugs.. lmao. Thanks again everyone for being so wonderful here and all the kind words. Big Hugsssss To all!

That was petty awesome, Thanks for sharing the link. I love Jamie and Adam and watch mythbusters whenever I see it on. Again thanks for that link that was great!

Well I dont know about many religions but I do know that I was raised Catholic and had to go to Catholic school for a few years. And as I grew up when I did go to church it was Cathollic churches that was the only type of church had ever even been inside until a few years ago, About 7 to be exact. I got remarried 7 years ago into a Greek family And we wanted to be married in the church So I started going to church with him and his family and to my surprise there were almost identical. And before we could be married I had to be baptised Greek Orthodox and take marriage counseling with him for a few months where a guy from the hurch came to our house and would talk to us about marriage and the Orthodox religion. And again to my surprise Greek Orthodox and Catholic were almost Identical so it was very easy for me. And I learned at one time that Roman Catholics and Greek Orthodox where the same religion and they say that the Catholics starting changing things and thats when they seperated and started the Orthodox religion. That is what I was told and taught anyway. But I bet if a talked to a Catholic priest he would tell me the same thing but that it was the Orthodox that was changing so who knows. But for sure they are Almost identical and I have never been inside anyother religions churches, So I know nothing more than that.

Ok this is a tough subject me being raised catholic and all and then marrying a Greek so I had to change to Greek Orthodox. For one it was my second marriage fot that in the eyes of the church I am condemed to hell, But other than that Im am far from being a aint or an angel but I think I have led a pretty good life a far a morals go. I am not a big church goer. I do pray alot though at least a couple times a day. And still I am not sure if there Is a Heaven Or a Hell, but I do believe we came from somehwere and our mind and body do die but we are also energy and energy doesnt just die so with that being said. I dont know what to believe I guess only time will tell. lol When my times up maybe I will come back and haunt you all and let you know.

Well Anwii We are in a dfferent state but still in the same country just the other side of the country and I am way ahead of you we got here in the middle of the night on a tuesday and I was at the courts here on wednesday morning got my daughters protection transfered to this state that very same day. And got started on mine and the kids and guess what we were granted everything. But then again I am in PA and it is one of the states here that are for women and children I am not sure how to word that to what i mean. And I have aloready started a divorce and yes I believe he has a warrant he is running scared I have friends and he has not been back to the house since we left. And since that was the last known address for him thats where the divorce papers will be sent to and if he doesnt respond I will get all that I ask for. And I am not a materialistic person at all, I could care less about money, yes we all need it to survive but if everyone in the house is happy and has what they need so am I. But I am gonna go for everything Spousal support and the max that I can on child support. I know he will not pay so one way or another he will go to jail. Thats my theory and thats what keeps me going.

Anwii, Sm, And Jlhaslip. Thank you for your very kind words and especially SM he has helped me out greatly the last couple days with info and credits, you really are a saint. And yes I want this mane behind bars and marked as a child predator more than anything, I would jsut die if I found out 10 years or so down the road that he has done this to another family. And Jlhaslip tyvm for the credits also. I wasnt trying to make anyone feel sorry for me or anything like that it was just alot I have been holding in all this time and it needed out. I swear I just seem to have the worst luck.. lol Have always felt that way, but hey after this last year I think i can make it through anything. Even to me reading my own story here a couple of minutes ago it just seems unreal I wished for a long time it was and that I was gonna wake up from a very bad dream. But in a way I guess I have myself and kids are safe and we are happy for the most part. And we are still living with my friends, we dont plan on going anywhere in the near future Malissa needs me as much as I need her, She has alot of health problems and her husband works away during the week, So I am here for her and she has helped me soo much I could never in a lifetime repay them for what they did for me and my children. Anyway it has been a very long day. Thank you guys again for your kind posts and I will keep all updated. Oh and bye the way the divorce is already underway. it will take a year if they cant find him then it will be granted to me. and He will have no access to the kids, I know he is running scared he knows hes in trouble thats why he hasnt tried coming after his two little ones, because his family has money and if he wanted to fight he would have been here bye now.

Well I would have to say no that its not addicting, I have smoker on and off since I was about 14 yrs old yes I was not the best child. I have not smoked personally in a couple years but when I was smoking I smoked alot and never had any trouble quitting. I would after a few months or a year or so say Im done for a while and that was it I wouldnt crave it once in a while I would miss it but thats about it. now ciggarettes that is a diiferent story for me I have been addicted for many years and wish I would have never started I have tried so many times to quit and it has not worked for me, I know the best way is not with drugs it is with just sheer will power and i consider myself to be a very strong willed person but I just cant seem to kick this awful habit.

Well I have been gone for a couple months and wow alot of changes, I have been reading up on the new mycents and I think its a great idea, I believe I ahve myself already all sigend up for it, I cant wait to get unsuspended and get back up and running very interested in seeing the changes and Im almost there. Anyway Nice job on the new setup Sounds great!!

Well I would have to say that yes I believe in GOD I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools for a few years. But I would have to say I have lost alot of faith over this last year. I think how could GOD let all these terrible things happen to me one right after another first take my mother and than reveal a monster to me. (if you read my other post you would understand) I dont go to church regularly like I should actually I dont go much at all anymore, But I pray every single day and thank GOD for my wonderful children. I dont think it should matter if I go to church or not I believe and I pray everyday thats all that counts in my book.

Sorry everyone again that this post is so long but it needed to be done I needed to get it all out and why not if I need to write it or type it to get it off my mind there is no better place then Xisto. Well where to begin I have debated about even posting this but I have alot I need to let out and I feel it is easier on here instead of face to face with someone, And yes I feel this post should be here and not in the vent, although it is a little of both. For those of you that have been here a while you may or may not remember some of my posts thery also were kinda long. But anyway I wills start from the begining on how this last year has gone for me. I feel like I have been to hell and back. My name is Alison I am 37yrs old and A mother of 4 beautiful children that I would die for. 18,17,6, and 5. Two marriages. I thought life was pretty good I was in my new marriage for a little over 5 years at this time last year. And then about this time last year the day before Thanksgiving to be exact my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer and not given but a few months to live, Life got pretty upsetting and pretty hard after that I was juggling taking care of my family and spending as much time with my mother as I could and trying to take care of her when her husband was working. As the doctors predicted her time was short sadly and god bless her she died march 20th and her service was one week later. As of that is not hard enough for a person to go through that was probably one of the easiest times of the year. The day after my mothers service I was at home with my now 17 yr old husband was away at work and I was on the computer, (desktop) my husband had a laptop that he didnt like to let the kids on, well you know how persistant kids can be and she jsut kept bugging me mom please I just wanted to check my messages he will never know I will get right back off it. Ok I gave in its not that big of a deal. Well to my surprise it was a huge deal. When my daughter opened his laptop he was signed into myspace and his email section was open well I didnt know this yet and for any of you that have kids you know they can be snoopy. something caught her eye in the tittle of one of the messages so she opened it and this is where my hell truley began. My daughter was afraid to tell me but she did and what she told me I was shocked. I know it was probably an invasion of his privacy but its something that probably saved our lives. (My husband was a truckdriver family owned business it was he and his dad.) What I found in his myspace emails was that he had many girlfriends in a couple different states, one of the worst things I read was to a girl he was seeing in Montana. He wrote her and I quote OMG EX?? The first thing going threw my head was how did I not suspect or see any signs of this? Well believe it or not this is still not the worst it gets tons worse, I wont get into the details of all the letters and all the girlfriends but there were a few even one in our town that was a bartender right around the corner from where we lived. Any way as I sit there shocked and bawling my daughter comes to me and says mom I am so sorry but there is something else I need to tell you. She says remember a couple weeks ago when my friend nicole was here staying the night, we were in the bathroom doing our hair and makeup on so we could go to the mall and Chris (hubby) had left his cell phone in the bathroom. So we decided we were gonna text our friends and let them know we would be to the mall in about an hour and then erase or texts so he didnt know. She says (again nosey teens) She saw a message tittle that caught her eye and she read it and it was very explicit I cannot say here what it said but I can say it was the two of them saying what they wanted to do to eachother again sexually when they met back up. Bye this time I was in hysterics I called him on his cell I said nothing about the myspace letters at this time but confronted him about the messages on his phone, of course he denied it. So then things got heated up and I told him about his computer and that I let my daughter get on it and what we found, He of curse tried to deny it. I said well if you can come home and show me that I am wrong and didnt read the things I saw in there then you are welcome home, IF YOU CANT DO THAT YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HOME! Well of course he did not come home. And once again things progressed to get worse. when I was done on the phone with him a hour or so went by and my now 17yr old came to me and said mom there is more I need to tell you. Now this is where it gets real bad. Now its just not me bawling my daughter is like in a complete meltdown crying her eyes out, She says mom I need to tell you something. A few months ago chris and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie you were already in bed and he had, had a few beers he started tickiling me and then he kinda touched my boob with his arm she said I thought nothing of it thought it was an accident we continued watching the movie then after a while he started tickling me again and grabbing my boobs, she said I was in shock and told him to stop and I came and got in bed with you, and it never happened again. I dont even know how to explain what happened next it was a mess I didnt think my brain could handle all the thoughts and things going though it at that moment. All these bells and whistles just started going off in my head and I jsut knew that there was somthing there between him and my oldest daughter. My now 17 yr old left for a few hours to go down to her dads house. My oldest came home a couple hours later and I was unsure how to approach her I had been thinking on it for a while and I finally just told her what I learned about her sister and if anything like that had happened to her. She told me no. But I could tell bye the way she said it and was acting that there was something there, I asked her again I begged her I told her it would be alright and that it wasnt her fault, but that I needed to know. She stood by her story and said there was nothing there. I didnt know what to do next or what to believe. anyway for the while until I decided what to do next I let it go. A couple hours later my other daughter the one who told me everything called from her dads and asked me for a ride home. I of course went to pick her up and on the way home I pulled over and started crying and said Jessie I need your help, I cant do this alone I think something has been going on between your older sister and Chris, She turned to me and said mom she is gonna be upset about me telling you this but yes there has been something he has been molesting her I didnt know until a few months ago when he tried with me I went to her and told her about it and asked her if anything like that had happened to her, And long story short she told her yes and that he has been molesting her for a while now and was threatening her and she was scared to death to tell and made Jessica promise she wouldnt say anything to me. I was completely and 100% hysterical and mortified I had no where to turn I had jsut lost my mother. Anyway I continued home and thought about how I was gonna confront her on this and I was a little sneaky the way I went about it but it needed to be done. I was calm when we got there sat down for a minute and said ashley I need to talk to you a minute can you please come in my bedroom with me, I lied I sat her down on the bed and said ashley I was talking on the phone to chris when I went to pick up your sister and he screwed up he slipped up reall bad and let it out that something has happened between you and him and I need to know sissy I know its gonna be hard but I need to know when where how many times and all of that. Well of course my daughter broke down and was crying nonstop and spilled her guts it had happened about 6 times and started when she was 16. I didnt know what to do bye the time we calmed down and I could get my witts about me at all I knew I had to call the police, bye this time it was about 2 am but I called anyway When he arrived I told him what was going on and he talked to each of my daughters one by one outside and told me we needed to get down to the courthouse immediately first thing in the morning. I couldnt sleep well out all I bawled my eyes out until abouot 630 that morning then I finally fell asleep. It was about 1130 AM when I awoke I got ready had my daughter get ready and as we were getting ready to go to the courthouse there was a knock on the door and it was a sexual assault detective so we had to go through the same thing we did the night before he talked to us all seperately, I told him about all the emails in his myspace also and he asked me for them (which by the way I was smart enough to forward them all to my email address I dont knwo what made me do it but glad I did) So I took his card and sent him all the myspace emails from him and his girlfriends. Anyway this part is kinda drawn out and boring so I wont go into detail but we spent 3 days in a row down at the courts and didnt get anything accomplished. The only thing they would do for me was give my oldest a protection order that would keep him outta the house while she was there, well to me that was not good enough what about me what about my little ones that are his kids also, He did not need to be around any of us. I told the judge well then I am not takeing my young ones to school to find out when I go to pick them up that he had already been there and taken them, and that judge looked at me and said Omg I couldnt believe this was happening and that we were given so little help and protection bye the law. But I looked at that judge and said thats fine they are in headstart and it is not required for kids to take headstart. And we left and went home again I was just moritfied and what little protection we got I did not feel safe in the house was worried he could come back at anytime. At this point I have not confronted him about molesting my daughters. He doesnt call anymore and we jsut sit around and wait scared to death a couple weeks go bye and Its sunday April 6th my birthday. My mother in law called (who I just adore and love to death) and I didnt know what to do or say to her and I thought the best was just to tell the truth so I told her I really need to talk to you and you may hate me after this phone call. I spilled my guts to her cried the whole time. After the conversation she said in a calm voice for one I love you dearly and that will not change, but there is one thing that bothers me and that is that you tell me you confronted my son about his girlfriends and about the texts on the phone, what I dont like I feel he has a right to know what he is being accused of now. I was still not completely in the right state of mind For one I didnt even have time to grieve for my mother and went straight into all of this. Anyway I sorta agreed with her he had a right to know, but I couldnt stand the thought of even hearing his voice. So knowing it was sunday and they were sitting in a motel and not working I knew he would be online. So I signed my messenger on and to my surprise he was there. I said I need to talk to you and he said ok call me, I said no I need to do it here, And I let it all out I told him I knew what he had been doing, And to my surprise he admitted it all on my messenger told me he was sorry and what a piece of sh*t he was. I could not stand talking to him anymore so I got offline with him, and I copy and pasted the whole conversation him admitting it all to the sexual assault detective at his email. Anyway another week went bye didnt hear anything from anyone him or the police and I just decided the best thing for me to do was get out. I had no money I had nothing I was a stay at home mom, he had all the money I had a few dollars left literally a few dollars I think I had 16.00 to my name He brought the money home weekly and it had been a few weeks since he had been home. I had some very very good friends online that I have known for a couple years we had met before and we talked on the phone alot, anyway they told me I need out of there right now and that they would help me anyway they could. I started selling stuff and pawning stuff we had in the house. We were on the process of buying a minivan after two days I had enough gas money (mind you gas was still prety expensive it had been going up already) to make it from Spokane, Wa. To Butte, Montana where my aunt lived. And then my friends I was talking about put money together the best people in the world my saviors. A family in PA. Married couple with kids. Anyway they are bye no means wealthy or well off. But they saved for two weeks and the wife drove accross country with her 10 yr old daughter from PA to Montana In a mini van and picked me and my 4 kids and dog up and drove us here to PA where we have lived ever since. (myself and 4 kids left with 5 suitcases nothing like starting yoru life over at 37 huh) Anyway we have been here in PA since late april and we love it here. The story does not end here though sorry for writing you all a book. Anyway since we have been living here in PA things have been getting a little better slowly but surely. I have a decent job kids are all in school and doing well except my oldest she is out of school almost 19. We have all been pretty happy been having some troubles on and off. Of course the little ones knew nothing of what happened and what was going on and why we left there were 4 and 5 (at least thats what I thought) Anyway over the last few months things have slowly been coming out. When we first got here the little kids would ask to call there dad and I would let them (I blocked the number of course because he has no idea where we are at) After about 2 weeks or so they never asked to call him again I thought it a little weird but went with it I wasnt gonna force them to call him. Things just started getting better and better then next few months were great again we are all happy and love living here. But these last few weeks have been a mess, My daughter oldest 18 now has started opening up and telling me things, her room used to be in the basement in Wa. and she is scared to death of basements here and someome closed the door on her while she was downstairs doing laundry she came up bawling and it took a bit to get it out of her but she told me that it started right before she was 16 and he would wait for me to go to sleep and he would go downstairs and prop something against the door so if I woke up I couldnt get in and he would molest her. And now she is scared to death of basements being in them alone or haveing the door closed while she is down there. My son who is 6 now has been waking up the last few weeks crying saying he is having nightmares of his dad killing me, And after that my youngest who is now 5 has been coming to me saying mom can we talk and makes me go to her room with her and sit down so she can ask questions about her dad. I answered them the best I could and told her that her dad had girlfriends and that he was not supposed to because we are married and he didnt want to live with me anymore and that his head was sick. I think that was probably wrong of me but I tried to do the best I could without lying to her. And then after this last week in a half I decided it was time for me to get into counseling before I have a serious breakdown because I dont think I can take much more and I need to be strong for my kids. about a week in a half ago I broke my ankel. that night I was trying to get in the bath and my youngest came in and said mom can I talk to you and I said of course turned the water off and sat on the side of the tub and we talked shes 5 mind you and she started asking questions again, I answered again the best way I know how and then she asked if she could talk to ashley alone I said of course, So I called ashley up and her and nikki went in ashleys room to talk. I got in the bath bye the time I got out ashley was bawling. I said whats wrong ashley? Ashley called me aside and said nikki told me she saw her daddy laying on top of me on the couch and I was crying. I said ashley she had to have been about 3 she didnt know anybetter she couldnt have told, And ashley said I know mom thats not why I'm upset I'm upset that she even had to see that. So it makes me wonder what my son has seen. About an hour later I called my aunt in California just to check in and say hi. And was told some very bad news that an uncle of mine had died I was upset but he was a distant uncle who I hadnt seen since I was a child so it wasnt to devastating, But then about 20 minutes after I got off the phone with my Aunt my brother called and told me he had to tell me something and that it was good. My uncle whom I was close with my Mom's brother had commited suicide he stole a gun from one of my other Aunts friends and used it and there was a note in his wallet saying I'm sorry. Now all this I mind you has happened in the last week in a half two weeks, My ankle mydaughter and both of my uncles dying. I know things cant get much worse(knock on wood) But I decided the time has come I do need counsiling and I have an appnt. I wish I could get my oldest to go but she is to stubborn and wont do it, but I am definately gonna talk to the shrink about putting the little ones in for counsiling also, If anything jsut for peace of mind for myself and to find out what they have seen. I guess I am done here now this is my story of my last year which I call a trip to hell and back! EDIT. Sorry I feel I need to say that children truley are miracles and if it werent for them I would have lost it long ago and who knows what I would have done or where I would be right now. I have had to keep myself strong for them and because of them, I do believe if it wasnt for them I woldnt be here right now typing away.

Welcome to Xisto. Hope you will like it here and that it will fit all your needs, I think this is a great place and dont plan on leaving anytime soon. Enjoy your stay.

Well I have to agree with alot of them I think either running or a treadmill would be an excellent idea and swimming If it is winter for you maybe an indoor pool some gyms have them i believe or even like YMCA I know they have pools open all year round, And swimming is suppose to be one of the best excersices you can do It takes all or most or your muscles when you are in the water. Drink lots of water. You really seem to be trying and I bet if you keep it up and dont get discouraged you will get the results you want in the near future.

I have been a PayPal customer or member whichever you call it, Anyway I have never had any trouble with it, As far as I know it is very safe and secure you should have no worries about using them. I have only heard good things, This is the first I have heard of anything bad. Anyway goodluck with whatever you choose to do.

Well I have to say I dont think age matters I am 37 years old and love Shrek. I like the first one the best I didnt mind the 2nd one. And the 3rd one was my least favorite but I didnt mindit I would watch it again. I want to buy the series for my young ones. I would have to say though that my all time Favorite cartoon movie is The Lion King, (first one only) then Monsters Inc. And then the Shrek movies And way to each his own opinion wise.

Well this is a toughie I think and a very sensative situation. But I would have to say after 30 years, You must obviously love her. Myself being a woman I have had a lot on my plate since a very young age I am 37 years old and have been married twice and have 4 wonderful children. I am not an open book. I understand the frustration you are going through I think my husband felt the same way. We are divorced now for different reasons nothing to do with this, but anyway back on subject. I love people I dont know if its a trust issue or what it is I am really trying to work on it, I just dont open up to people much at all. I love talking to people I love finding out more about people, I just have a problem with letting them in or telling anything about myself, I have not had a good life not as a child or an adult, Things have been getting way better for me the last couple months, I have changed alot of stuff really been working on opening up my feelings and letting stuff out, Its tuff though and again I am not sure why I am like this I have always been this way and I really am trying to change, I have a very special person in my life at this time just a friend, he is male of course and he pretty much has the same problem and we are trying to work on this together, being here at trap 17 I have opened up a little its a little easier typing on a pc then it is looking at someone and telling them your feelings or what ever is going on. And the stories I have written in here are nothing compared to what I have been through in the last few months. I am just hoping to make a comeback here and try my best to get caught back up, its gonna be a real challenge hope im up for it. And good luck to you. But again 30 yrs is a long time to give up on I really hope you and your wife can work through this. Sorry I wasnt much help.

Rvalkass, I agree what I did was completely wrong and there is no excuse for it. But you must know I did not go looking for my daughter to go attack her again. I went to try to talk to her and find out why she was telling the neighbors lies, She was in my face screaming. But enough of that it still does not make what I did right in anyway. We have seeked help she has been in counsiling for a couple years and we have been in counsiling together for a few months. And for everyone who wanted to stay updated she did call me last night hyterically crying, she wants to come home and the police wont let her. She will meet with children services today and they will decide from there what to do. I told her she has to tell them she wants to come home, and that I dont know what is going to happen that I cant fix this. I want her home more than anything, but was told I cannot be around here or I will be arrested. This has been VERY hard as we live in a very small town population under 1000 so she is only a couple blocks away at the moment until children services takes her, and I have wanted to just go pick her up so badly. Anyway thank you all for your feedback, I am off to bed I have not really slept at tall the past couple days.

TYVM Saint Michael For the hugs it is greatly needed and appreciated. I have been crying on and off nonstop since last night. I dont know if I am more upset with her for her lies and the way she acted or with myself for snapping and slapping her in the face. Anyway. Tyvm again and yes I have talked about her skipping school alot on here and have always had problems with her. But she is my child and I love her. Anyway Things can only get better because they cant really get any worse.

Shadow, Thank you very much for your reply, and I would love to sit down and talk to her but I cannot, she is not aloud her and the state has her she is in foster care now and they wont let me see her. I will find out more tomarrow when the police and children services are here. But again Thank-You very much for your reply.

Ok where to start is has been a while since I have posted been going through alot and yesterday it all got worse. Ok I have 4 kids 18,17,6 and 5. Three girls and one boy the boy is 6. My 17 yr old has always been my problem child she has major attitude and treats me very badly, I have put up with it for a long time and yesterday I just snapped. I was trying to talk to her yesterday and it became a argument like it usually does. She was yelling at me and screaming everyother word was f*** this and f*** that and you are a b**** and so on. A friend of mine was over and walked in from the other room and told her dont you talk to your mother like that, And then she started in on her f*** you and mind your own business and so on it got bad I stood up and walked over to her sitting on the couch to slap her in the face and before I touched her she kicked me so hard in the stomach I almost went backwards over the coffee table. Well that was it for me I jumped on her and turned her sideways and spanked her behind, and slapped her in the face. she got mad we argued some more and she left. She went down the street to a neighbors house and told them that I and my friend had beat the S*** out of her with our fists. I couldnt believe it. I drove down to the park to try to talk to her and she walked up to my window and started screaming at me again. I slapped her again in the face and left. I came home and about 20 minutes later the police were here. I told him everything exactly what happened and he said it doesnt look good for me because of the welt on her face. I am still in shock here. for one I cant believe I snapped like that I have never EVER hit any of my kids. But she has had this comeing for a long time and I couldnt take it anymore. But now Im in big trouble with alot of reprocussions. My daughter has always been full of lies she tells alot of stories and I dont know what she has told the police, but they have taken her away from me over this. She is not aloud back here and is going to be put in foster care and I am left with a mess of police and children services. Again, I have never hit any of my kids and I cant believe this is happening. I am so upset with myself for snapping like I did, I know I should have not hit her. But I cant believe all I am going to have to go through to get past this and I cant believe that they took her from me for smacking her, And now I risk loosing my little ones I will be watched and critisized on everything I do with my children now. I guess I am just sort of venting here so I will stop now before I ramble on and make no sense. I made this topic a poll because I want and need different opinions. please be honest. Did I commit child abuse? Is there such a thing as a child that needs to be smacked? Is there anyone out there with some similiar experinece that can offer me some advice? please HELP if there is. Thanks Krazy.