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NigaiAmaiYume

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Everything posted by NigaiAmaiYume

  1. Does anyone know of similar sites for international forum members?For example, I'm in Canada. Getting a free laptop, even a MINIMAL one, would be an improvement over having to head over to the bloody library everytime I want to go online... *sigh* Stupid Toshiba...
  2. I want to start getting my website hammered out, and I realize that I'm not exactly sure how to balance an attractive design with basic readability.I generally don't like templates and programs, preferring to work things out from the bottom up as much as possible. I've got some basic HTML "programming" under my belt, but everything I learned was 5+ years ago, and before CSS.If possible, I'd like to design something with a "frame" effect over the top of the page and on the left all the way down with a background for menus and buttons, with the background fading into solid color for the main "text" portion.Based on my experience, I'd probably be using Tables for this effect, unless actual Frames (without scroll bars) wouldn't be too distracting/cheesy.Specific questions I have right now:- How can I achieve this effect, allowing for multiple screen resolutions/window sizes?- What colors/fonts do you suggest for the text area to maximize readablity?- Is there a way to allow readers to customize the text area for their own preferences?- Does this basic design make sense to you? Should I forgot the "frame" effect and just have solid "text" pages?
  3. When one of my regulars mentioned something similar, I spent a few hours at work considering how things would go. Discussions with same regular has led to some interesting permutations, as well... What I've got so far: 1. Pay off Student Loan and Credit Cards. 2. Take a nice hunk and put it into safe stocks or something earning. My regular suggested investing in banks, which makes sense... 3. Give stuff to family. They deserve it, not even counting getting me through my 7 years of school (SOOO patient!! ^-^) Now, I have fun... 4. Get new apartment (that's not in the basement of someone's house). Talking with regular has modified this. 4a. Buy apartment building and hire whoever's needed to keep place running. 4b. Pick a nice apartment for me. 5. Get a cat. I miss having a pet. ^-^ 6. GET LAPTOP FIXED!!!!!! 7. Get a nice, top of the line, graphics modifying computer w/ software. 8. Top of the line voice recognition software. 9. Decent MP3 player with voice recording feature. (These steps to get my stories done faster. ^-^) 10. Take month off of work. Focus on stories, website, and my class. 11. We're talking 40 mil +? Nevermind, take TWO months off, offer to spot a bonus to get someone COMPETENT working nights for me while I'm gone. It's scary that after that, I think I'd be happy..... And please note I'd be taking time OFF my HORRIBLE, MIND SUCKING wageslave job, instead of QUITTING.... Part of me actually LIKES working there, when it's not full of drunk college students...
  4. *laughs* Honestly, the poem was originally written as a literal retelling of events from Rilla of Ingleside, the last book of the Anne of Green Gables series. Basically, one of Anne's sons wrote a poem called "The Piper", goes to fight in WWI, and dies. The poem itself was never written in the book, so I decided to do my own version. I wrote this when I was 14. I'm amazed at what I find in it now. Sometimes I feel like I didn't really "write" it, I was just the channel from which it came. Particularly when you look at the rhythm; I'm not very good at rhythm since. LOL Most of my best stuff I always wonder if I should take credit for; they seem to just "happen". At least I don't feel so selfish for liking them afterwards. ^-^
  5. A poem I've gotten very good reviews out of. You'd NEVER guess the origin, though. And since I won't double post, at least SOMEONE'S got to make a QUALITY comment/critism before I'll tell! VEG The Piper Darkness falls, the cannons crash, The sky is filled with their thundering flash. A war is raging - in the middle, I'm caught. Fighting for peace, the utmost sought. The story I tell is strange indeed, The story of a Piper, piping on his reed. The music is monsterous, sweet as summer's day. Beautiful, mindbending, and terrible in every way. For that same music killed many a rat, ___and many a child as well. And that same music tempted me ___into this living hell. So now I fight unseen foes Following the Piper, wherever he goes. I saw that Piper long ago A strange, black figure, he carted in tow. I see him again, but he's not alone; Following him are men, not of flesh and bone. I feel the bullet hard, I fear the end is near, And all I hear is music playing in my ear. Goodbye, sweet life, you've been good to me, ___but now I know I'm gone. Following forever the Piper piping ___his sweet, sad song. - Mary-Melissa Wilzewski
  6. Definitely not my style, but I'll try to be objective.Does it need to be so - big? It's larger than most, and it doesn't seem to be doing enough to justify that added size...The background's ok, the logo's good, and the font works. It's pretty much all size and making all the elements feel necessary, in my opinion.
  7. I think it's Jessica Love Hewitt? If it's the same woman as in your current sig.... I'm not 100% it's her, but the face is so familiar I KNOW I know who she is.... As for sig details (From someone that knows nothing about sigs, and therefore mostly just looking at it like a piece fo art...): - I agree with everyone about the text, moving it, darkening the color, or otherwise distinquishing it from the background is needed. - Fade out the line going through her eyes, unless you REALLY like that effect. It's just creepy. You can keep the stuff to the sides of her head on it, just NOT cutting THROUGH HER EYES. *shudders* Maybe move the left one so it's not cutting so much into her chin. - I agree with sylenzednuke, do something about the too-dark line on her lips. Lighten it, blend in some more shadow next to it, or change it to a different color for a new effect. If you do the last, though, I recommend adding a few other "changed shadows" or "changed highlights" to keep balance. Actually, that effect could be cool.... - The background's REALLY good. Is that premade, or did you create it? I like the effects on the right... - A border or something is probably needed to make the sig "pop", and not just look like it's cut onto the post background. Otherwise, it just looks like an image you linked. Yes, technically, that's what it IS, but it's also a sig, so I'm assuming it shouldn't look like it was added just on the spur of the moment.
  8. I'm not 100% certain. I think it was mentioned in my high school English, but that was 7 years ago, so don't go trusting this ancient person's memory. ]Wikipedia doesn't list it, and while Allegory and Contrast MAY be similar, the article suggests Stylistic Devices rely mostly on tricks of language such as Alliteration or Simile. Google didn't seem to be much help, either. When is the assignment due? Can you ask your teacher for clarification on this point?
  9. I do like how rationally he approached the subject, comparing heterosexuality and homosexuality. I've come to the point where I agree with the speaker: what right do we have to stop what happens between consenting adults?I personally cannot believe that sodomy was illegal so recently in both Canada and the United States. I'm not 100% if there are still States with sodomy laws, and if there are, I just shake my head and pray for humanity.And I can say that without any sarcasm or irony.
  10. I've been in a "down" period lately, and I feel like expressing myself to try and combat it. Plus, if I ever have to ask stuff about this topic, I can link here instead of having to put it all out again. ^-^(Mods, I've put this topic in Real Life Experiences because I am not sure if it is worth credits. If you feel it would be better suited elsewhere, feel free to move it as you deem fit.)Anyway, history...I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression when I was 17, after my parents' divorce and when I was living with my father (A WHOLE 'nother issue that may be typed up to beta my autobiography... LOL). Personally, I believe I may have been diagnosable as early as 13, however.My memory is very difficult. I can't remember dates and names to save a test score. Plus, I often wonder if I've repressed things (Nothing serious, I wasn't molested or anything!!!), but then I figure I'm just making excuses for faulty equipment. LOL Probably a bit of both. Anyway, I remember this happening my first Air Cadet camp, however, so I can pinpoint this to 13. The memory itself is vague, but kinda telling.It's just me, at camp, away from home and my parents for the first time (And isolated by langauge, this camp being in Quebec and me being the 10% minority that couldn't speak French). I don't know what inspired the thought, but I realized I hadn't considered suicide. At the the time, I was proud of this.I guess I was thinking of a lot of stereotypical teenage stuff, that all kids my age angst and things. But at 13? Wondering about killing myself?I still think about it. Killing myself. But I know I wouldn't do it. It's tricky, the fine line between "thinking" of suicide and "considering" suicide. But it's one I cling to.Another memory. This one I KNOW happened. I think it was my last year of high school, so I'd been on Prosac for about two years (The exact dates are still fuzzy). For various reasons, I got locked out of my house. This was kinda typical of me, forever forgetting my keys, so there was a spare set hidden. UNFORTUNATELY, I'd already USED that one the day before, and could SEE it on the table inside our back door. It was October, my father was at work, and I was getting COLD.We didn't really talk with our neighbors. We kept pretty isolated, which I've gradually realized was my father's fault and one of the ways he controlled us. So I was sitting under the porch, shivering, unsure what time it was, and not knowing when my father would get back anyway. Finally, frustrated and wanting to DO something (Because going next door and asking to stay had never occured to me), I picked up a nice rock and threw it at the back door window. NICE and HARD.As soon as it happened, I regretted it, of course. My father was HIGHLY concerned about money, and I knew the window would be expensive to replace. And, of course, before I'd gotten much more than STARTED cleaning up, my father shows up.He took it a lot better than I was expecting, no yelling, nothing. He thought it had been stupid, but I guess he (for once) saw my reasoning. But still, I had the all consuming guilt that has defined most of my depression.I was there, picking up pieces of glass, and the thought that I could cut myself with one occured. Purely rationally, just the idea that the option was there. And above all else, I DIDN'T WANT TO. I'd messed up, big time in my mind, and killing myself wasn't even a reasuring though. It just was a option that I wouldn't consider. That was SUCH a good feeling.I never actually TRIED to commit suicide, but it wasn't because I didn't want to. It wasn't even that I was scared, not really. The thoughts that kept happening to me every time I got close what how this would effect my mother, who had pretty much raised me and my brother by herself while my father was away with the Military. After the divorce, however, she had to get a job in the States, and couldn't take my brother and me on her work visa. I knew how hard that was on her, and I also could imagine how hard it would have been for me to KILL myself, when she was so far away, and could do nothing but blame herself for it. She'd have NEVER forgiven herself.I just couldn't do that to her. And the few times it was so bad even THAT wasn't enough, the fear of the afterlife did it. Because if there WAS a Heaven and Hell, I'd go to Hell for killing myself, not even for the Bible reasons, but for doing THAT to my mother. And the Hell I'd have to experience for eternity was the KNOWLEDGE I'd done that to her.I still sometimes think about shoving something sharp into my wrists, right between the bones and tendons, making a nice empty hole where there's only soft flesh. Sometimes, that's what it still feels like there, like it's just empty. But I don't do more than imagine it, because in my head, it's bloodless, just making a nice hole. The real-life side effects of BLOOD and DYING don't tie into that thought. I guess it's more wanting to amputate the pain, and imagining it there.MAN, that was rambling. But it feels GOOD to get it out in type. I can't talk to my family or friends about this stuff; it freaks them out, and I can't stand doing that to them. But these thoughts are still there, in the back of my head, and sometimes I need to pull them out into the light before they take any deeper root.To anyone that's read this: Thank you. Even if you don't reply, just having my thoughts KNOWN helps. But if you want to reply, please do. I still need to know I'm not allow, especially when I'm feeling like I have been this past week....
  11. My number 1 issues with RPGs:Monsters that drop gold pieces, or whatever the currency is.I'm sorry, maybe SOME collect shiny stuff, but seriously, what does a WOLF need with 20 gp? I prefer systems where you collect something "useful", like the fur or meat, and then trade THAT for gold. Or force you to do crafting or be PRODUCTIVE or something.Of course, then you ask, "Aren't you supposed to be saving the world? Why are you looking for the princess's pink bunny rabbit?" "Because it's the right thing to do." o_O
  12. I agree with everyone else, you need to have some sort of category system to help people find the kind of clock they want easier. I suggest, to start: Digital (numbers only), Analog (moving hands), International, Dated. Some clocks would obviously fall under mutiple categories.Once you do this, maybe a search engine of some kind?And I know you usually need Shockwave Flash or Swish to modify flash apps, but possibly come up with some sort of easily-customizable clock? Just something simple, like the background to a digital clock, like the girls on Number 22.
  13. My roommate says this is SO weird, but I love it...Soften some cream cheese, mix in and melt some shredded cheese, then add salsa or spagetti sauce.Then, mix in popcorn, and eat with a spoon. ^-^
  14. (To mods: I appologize for my previous post not done to standard.)Size: 400x100 or what you determine bestTheme: anything Cutesy or Elegant. ^-^Render: If you would like.Render Theme: Fairies, Yin Yang, Shoujo Anime/Manga, whatever suits your ideaColor: Purple (light and dark), pink, black, silver, light blueText: NigaiAmai Yume and/or BitterSweet Dreams, one of the following quotes if you want.Other effects: Try to keep it tasteful. ^-^Details:I've been in a depressed/self-yucky kinda mood lately. Since I've also been wondering what the people on the forums would do with their different styles to a relatively open request, I figured I'd see what people would do with this, in the hopes that something blatently nice will help the prosac kick in. ^-^Pretty much, take inspiration from the above form or the following quotes, and see what you end up with.Quotes:- I'm the nicest, most evil fairy godmother you'll likely ever meet.- I'm like fine chocolate: sweet, dark, and just a touch sinful.- A writer and a dreamer, searching for meaning...Have fun! ^-^
  15. You know you've got problems when you start procrastinating on GOOD stuff, though... Like my bloody web site and stories... *whimpers*But I need deadlines - I always leave things to the last minute, but that pressure seems to force me to focus, and I end up prefering the results.Which, of course, encourages me to procrastinate MORE... Vicious, vicious cycle, getting rewarded for procrastinating... LOL
  16. And if you're interested in WHAT these theoretical 10+1 dimensions are: Imagining the Tenth Dimension Click the 0 (zero) at the bottom of the spinning molecule-thingie to start the animation and lecture. While the actual concept blows my mind, the explination is simple and easy to follow. Requires FLASH and working audio, unsure of the exact specifications of each. And if you liked this, be sure to check out What the Bleep Do We Know? to REALLY blow your mind. Currently saving pennies to buy the "Down the Rabbit Hole" version. ^-^
  17. The definition of music, like the definition of all art, is unique to the individual.I agree, music requires rhythm, but then again, what is the definition of rhythm?Tune definitely helps, but what of tonedeaf people that can't interpret that? Or the specific use of atonal for emphasis?Music, at its loosest, is audio art. Whether you like it or not, of course, is up to you.Me, I like just about anything that's not heavy metal, heavy rap, or heavy country. ^-^
  18. I know what you mean, especially from the author's standpoint. You put something out, wanting to be read, recognized - particularly when it's an honest request for help and assistance - and then having it ignored, you feel a little less worthwhile. Granted, it's always worse for me, having Clinical Depression and self-esteem issues, but seriously, pay ATTENTION to the author!This forum is supposed to be about QUALITY postings, at least from my understanding. This includes QUALITY help. Sure, the other people got a few credits, but the main reason most people participate here is for the COMMUNITY. Respect the community, and respect the people in it.If you can't take the time to read, should you be taking the time to post?
  19. Wondering if I could get some opininons on the prologue to one of the novels I'll be putting up on my website. The is intended as an introduction to the world setting, important background regarding the god characters, and to give a brief impression of the character of Monkey. The second is just a brief scene I've written out and personally like. BTW, the novel is written in the style of the second preview, not the prologue. ALL animal names are TEMORARY. I'm currently trying to come up with better, Eastern-sounding ones. It just takes a while. LOL Anyway, here's "The Teachings of Monkey" and what I tend to refer to as "The Lily Dream". The Teachings of Monkey So much has been lost. So much forgotten. Rabbit keeps up on me about that, but really, what?s an old man to do? What he can, that?s what, and what I can do is this. In the beginning, there were the Ancients. They are ? well, to be honest, I?m not really sure. Not like you me and you, though. One of them, Turtle, she ? she was lonely, I think. Lonely of her ethereal, contemplative existence. And so she created her children: Koiureiza from the Elements of Fire and Air; and Boichurai from Water and Earth. And for them, she created the world. Things were good, at first. Then, of course, we had to come along and mess things up. By ?we?, I don?t really mean me; this was all before my time. Well, most of it. The worst of it. You?ve got to see, and I know this will be hard for you, but Koiureiza and Boichurai were made for each other. Literally. Two halves of a whole, greater than what they were alone and all that. They need each other. But Turtle, I think she made them too well. Too full of pride, too full of arrogance. That?s the downfall of us all, lesser gods included ? I mean, just go looking at Horse and Dog! But the worst thing you can do to us is tell us we have to do something. Tell us that, and we?ll fight it to the end of the world and back. Of course, Snake had her hand in it, too. Because the opposite is also true: the easiest way to get one of us after something is say we can?t have it. And so, we fought and bickered, and Koiureiza played us all, holding herself just far enough out of reach that we?d all want her, basking in our glory of her. Oh, Boichurai had his share of suitors, but he?s always been quieter. It was Koiureiza that drew the attention. And of us all, the one she?s pay it back least to was Boichurai. Fortunately, the second flaw of arrogance worked for use that time. The more she ignored him, the more he swore he?d have her. Then, he got smart. Wish I could say it was my idea, but I?m history, I?m not good at coming up with the new stuff. I?d put my money on Sheep, she always is looking out for her Lady?s best interests. At least, she was back then, but we won?t get into that. Anyway, Boichurai did something so outrageous, so original, so fantastic, it had to get her attention. He humbled himself. One of the three great Kings. Lord over all Earth and Water, the Moon and Knowledge, the Thunderer. Humbled himself. For her. I don?t know where he got the courage to do it. Maybe it was the fact he tricked her to do it. But he came there all the same, dressed as one of Rat?s kin, called her his Lady, asked for the greatest of gifts in the most lowly of voices, and she granted him her favor. She always had had a soft spot for mortals. Never you think it was set from that moment on, though. We all tried all the harder after that. Even Ox tried his best, the bumbling fool. Stars, I tried; fire is a lovely, lovely thing to play with. I honestly thought Pig would pull it off for a short while there, he?s a smooth talker and has the sparkly things to back it up with. But I also saw the look on Boichurai?s face, on both their faces, that one time. They?d always been a little bored, a little outside of everything ? what haven?t the mountains seen, where has not the breeze been? At that moment, though, he had a purpose, a quest. And at that moment, she had a glimpse at what her mother had intended all along, and that it might not be such a bad thing after all. After all, you don?t trick Turtle. She knows what?s best, and she knows how to make sure it happens. They were beautiful together. For a glorious era, everything was as it should be. Never you mind those people that say stories of that time are myths. Life on earth, even for mortals, really had been that blessed. Fire, Water, Earth and Air in perfect harmony. The Sun and the Moon as lovers. I don?t know how, but I blame Tiger for what happened next. He always hated Boichurai. Hated the stability he represented. Tiger may be Nothingness, the Void, but he?s also Chaos; Turtle?s the one that loves Balance. So he must have been responsible. After all, it?s what he would have done. Taken away Boichurai?s stability. Driven the Thunderer insane. Forced Koiureiza to try and kill him, and on the very eve they were to be joined! I saw her afterwards, in her tattered gown that was supposed to represent her finest glory. She was losing it even then, mere moments without him. The power of Fire and Air unleashed on the world without Earth to support them or Water to cool them. There is talk now of the End Times, but I don?t believe it. If the End Times didn?t happen then, I don?t see what else could cause it. And sometimes, I think the had, that those were the End Times, and everything else just us not knowing we are already dead. Where to go after this, what can we do? I?m afraid that is all up to you, now. I?ve done all I can, no matter what Rabbit says. I can only record. I cannot create. And those that can, I?m not sure we can trust anymore. You are left to create for yourself. What is it you are seeking, that you would destroy the world to make anew? Lily Dream ?You wish to speak to the Lady,? the guard repeated, politeness forfeit to open skepticism. Before he could answer, the amazon bird-woman continued, ?Without an invitation, or even sending a messenger before you?? The Dragon Lord crossed his arms and did his best to seem displeased with the delay while not appearing threatening. It was difficult ? so often when he came to show his anger, he had already reached a point where he was quite willing to act upon it. Subtly, he silently reminded himself. He was here to get the attention of the one he sought, not to provoke her as well. ?I come to her as one equal to another, Lord to Lord.? ?Indeed,? the guard voice dripped with irony. She was a mere servant, hardly even a god, but nevertheless a powerful one; even in his present form, she came up to his shoulder. Nothing less could be expected for the one protecting the front gate of the Southern Palace. Forcing himself to draw upon his patience, Boichurai asked his request again. ?I wish of you to just tell your Lady that I am here. The choice of whether she shall welcome me is entirely her own.? The guard straightened, holding her shield firmly in front of her as her half-wing shifted the spear a few inches closer to a threaten range. ?The Lady is busy with her own affairs. If she is to see you, you must first allow her to give you the time without neglecting them.? She smirked. ?For one that comes as an equal, you already leave her at a disadvantage.? Behind the guard, two other armored bird-people and a horse-man appeared, raising their spears to support their obvious captain. Boichurai?s displeasure was quickly slipping from feigned to deadly real. ?Is this how your Lady has taught you to receive guests ? with open threats and accusations?? ?We receive guests with the warmth of her Lady.? Smiling in anticipation of his anger ? for one so powerful, this guard was appallingly reckless ? she added, ?For those that seek to enter the palace without an invitation, however, we greet with the fire of her anger.? Pulling himself up taller, the Thunderer cooled the air around them in warning. ?All I am asking for is that invitation. I did not come here to fight, however much fools try to bait me in it.? All movement seemed to stop, as he spoke between his teeth and a confident grin. ?Neither will I back down from their insults, however.? The guard blinked once in surprise at his control of the temperature ? did she know nothing of him? ? before scowling and pointing the spear openly at him. ?None of the gods come to request an invitation themselves. For you to come instead of sending a messenger as is proper, we must assume you mean our Lady harm.? ?Then that is where your err.? He raised his arms, preparing to call the full power of Water against those that would stand between him and his goals. ?What is going on here?? The voice was musical, even in its anger, although the familiar trills he?d come to admire were clipped and short. Everyone turned towards it as the speaker came into view from behind the crystal walls of the palace. She seemed to float out from the courtyard to the gate, her silk skirts flaring across the ground and obscuring her feet as she walked purposefully forwards. Even scowling, her face was as beautiful as the sun, and cloaked in reds and golds she appeared every bit the personification of Fire alit she was. ?M?lady!? All four guards immediately dropped to their knees respectfully, bowing their heads. He would have thought it out of fear except the captain?s voice was full of relief as she said, ?The Dragon Lord refused to give a reason for desiring your audience, nevermind insulting your graciousness by not sending a messenger out before him.? ?Boichurai,? the Koiureiza noticed, crossing her arms as she assumed a position not very different from the one he had taken before as she glared at him with the full force of her displeasure. ?Since you seem in your arrogance to have lost all protocol, I shutter to discover the purpose of your visit. Nevertheless, I will find it, or take this to the Mother herself!? ?There is no need to disrupt dear Turtle over this, my Lady Koiureiza,? he soothed, bowing almost as low as her servants. Seeing her, even furious with him, calmed his anger. In truth, the reason behind his anger was that he had become afraid that his idea would not work, and he would not be able to see her at all. But now she was here, and he would have a chance. ?I admit, I have not sent a messenger or revealed the purpose of my visit to your honorable guards.? Looking up at her, he did his best to be as charming as possible. ?I beg your forgiveness for my impudence, but I was only concerned that what I had to say and give would be meant for you alone.? She continued to frown down at him, her position not changed by his words. ?You are quite right to call this impudence! Threaten to attack my own guards, continue to talk in riddles.? She gave a mocking smile, sickeningly sweet. ?I believe you have come to court the wrong lady today; I am sure Snake would be most willing to greet you and receive your gift.? He sneered at the mention of the goddess, unable to keep the revulsion he felt at the thought of her off of his face. It was true, he had once accepted the attention of the sleek, silver tongued Snake, but he had no interest in her lies anymore. There was only one he now saw fit to plead the favor of, and he intended to win it. ?I would rather throw my gift and its intentions into the Void then let that she-demon touch it.? Koiureiza shrugged. ?Then so be it. I am not interested.? She turned to leave, as though finished with the conversation. But Boichurai was a god, too, and he was well aware that if her words were true, she would either banish him from her gate or vanish back to her palace and allow her guards to deal with him. ?You are not in the slightest curious as to what gift I am not willing to let any other person, divine or otherwise, touch until it is in your own sweet hands?? He made a show to conjure up his gift while leaving it obscured behind a veil of mist. Despite herself, the Lady of Fire and Air turned back to see what he had brought. All she would be able to see, he was sure, was that it was small enough to be cradled in one of his hands, the other hovering protectively over it. ?I am curious as to why you seem to view it important enough to deserve all this spectacle,? she admitted, keen eyes trying to focus through the wisps of mist. He raised an eyebrow, grinning. He was back in control again, and he was going to take advantage of the moment while it lasted. ?You would have it revealed here, at your front gate, for all to see?? ?It seems to be where you enjoy humiliating yourself.? Even as she smirked, though, she was unable to keep her eyes away from the mystery he?d presented her. ?Nevertheless, I tire of talking in doorways. Come.? With a gesture, she transported both him and herself to one of her inner sanctums, leaving the stunned guards alone to try and discern exactly what had transpired. The room she had brought him to was shaped from living crystal, rich reds with veins of sky blue and yellows trimmed in the finest gold. The wall coverings were pure silk, and softened the already curved lines of the walls as they flowed to meet the rich carpet and feather-soft lounge chairs. It was a small surprise to Boichurai that she had taken them there; he had never seen such a small, private room before in any of his official visits to her palace, although he had known a woman given to her own thoughts would have to have such there. The bright colours and opulence were too garish for his own tastes, but the movement of the room suited her. She relaxed onto one of the lounges, as graceful as ever, but made no gesture to permit him to do the same. ?So, what is this great gift you offer that deserves no messenger?? Sweeping away the smoke he revealed an ice carving of a flame in full motion, bowing again to present it to her. It was opaque, reflecting the fire-colours of the room while not allowing anyone to look into its heart. She gazed at it for a moment before raising one already arched eyebrow. ?This is your great gift: a small ice statue like dozens you have sent to me before?? She frowned. ?You are trying to play me for a fool.? No, I am the fool. But he was too deep to turn back now. ?There are many things hidden beneath surfaces, my Lady. I offer you a gift of my domains, Earth and Water. All it lacks to make it complete is the blessings from your own.? She looked from the statue unmelting in his hand to his face, unsure of what to make of it all. ?My blessings? I fail to see the point of that.? Boldly, he took her hand to tip the statue into it, brushing both of his own along her fingers as he released her. ?Give it your touch of Fire and Air, and see what it becomes.? Staring down at the cold flame, she did as he suggested, blowing gently over it to add both her air and her warmth, imbuing in that simple action the full force of her abilities. The ice quickly melted under the force of the Phoenix?s heat, lifting into the air with hardly a shred of steam. The mock flame flowed down to a flower bud twisted tight against the cold, which opened to reveal a beautiful, perfect lily when touched by the living air. Koiureiza gasped in wonder at the blossom in her hand, stroking one petal as though not convinced it was real. Deep red at its heart, it faded to glowing orange and yellows to the tips, her fire captured in a delicate lily. Boichurai had to chuckle at her expression, amazed and awed by the simple gift. ?You act as though you have never been given a flower before.? ?I haven?t.? She lifted her gift closer to her face to breathe in its perfume. ?I have received dozens upon dozens of roses, acres of gardens to win over my favor. But never before a single, perfect flower like this.? His face softened as he watched her smile in sweet delight, totally enthralled by his gift to her. He wasn?t sure where the idea for it had come from, but he had never dared to hope she would accept it so happily. Only now did he admit that any other god would have been insulted by such a humble flower, particularly after everything he had put her through to receive it. But somehow, the fact he had made such a show over a brief thing that united both of their domains seemed to have added to her enjoyment of it. Suddenly, she looked up at him, her face concerned. ?Will it fade?? ?It is a flower, made from the land. Like everything that comes from the land, it must die and go back to it.? When her face fell, he stroked her cheek, apologizing. ?That is beyond my power to change.? ?But I am sure there has never been another like it before.? She cradled her delicate gift close to her and away from the cruel world. A flower birthed from the union of Fire and Ice, grown from both Earth and Air. No, Koiureiza, nothing like it has ever been created before. ?I can make you others.? She shook her head. ?They will not be the same. They will not be this flower.? She stroked it again. She looked so innocent, devoted to a single gift with all her being. So like a child ? had either of them ever been children? Had either of them never not known the heady power of others? adoration and fear? He seemed to remember such, but it had been so long ago. He smiled when he realized what he could do, and raised her chin with a finger so she could see it. ?Life is beyond my power. But it is the domain of Turtle.? He took her hand, in order to gently tip the flower into his. ?I will ask her for you if she could make it as immortal as the stars.? ?Turtle?? She pulled away from him. ?It is a foolish request. You should not trouble the Great Mother with it.? ?It would make you happy.? He tried to take the flower and her hands again. When had he last smiled this much? She shook her head, but laughed at him, the sad look in her eyes replaced by a sparking charm. ?And what is it to you, if I am happy or not?? He caught her chin, making sure she saw how serious his face and eyes became at that question. ?It is a great matter to me if you are happy. I am willing to do anything to see it done.? She blinked at him, confused, for a long moment. ?Why?? Not fully sure of the answer himself, he took the lily from her hands, raising her palms up to his mouth to replace it with a kiss. ?I will go make my request of Turtle, then return to you with my gift.? He smiled, stroking her face. She was so beautiful. ?I am glad that such a humble thing has pleased you.? Koiureiza looked at him, shaking her head. ?You are full of riddles, Boichurai. I do not believe even Sheep could unravel them all.? He bowed his head to her. ?I hope some day you will be able to explain all the answers to me, so I may know them as well.? He stepped back, returning to formality. ?May I take my leave of you and your palace now, my Lady?? She slowly nodded her head. ?You may, my Lord,? she blessed, giving him the power to use his magic inside her domain to depart. The last thing he saw as he did so was her face, tipped slightly in thought, her ruby red lips parted slightly. How he longed to kiss them. Soon, he promised himself. Soon. ?Shiren?? A quiet voice sang through the night, calling him back from his dreams. Koiureiza, he tried to whisper, answer her, but already the image of the Phoenix goddess was fading, replaced by Koiugen as he opened his eyes. She smiled, tired, and lifted her hand from his shoulder where she had been shaking him awake. ?It is time for you to begin your watch.? He looked up at the moon and frowned when he saw the position. ?It is long past the time for the beginning of my watch.? He looked at her, concerned. ?Why did you not wake me earlier?? She shrugged, unapologetic. ?You were exhausted, so I let you sleep.? She gave a small, wistful smile. ?You seemed to be having a good dream, and I didn?t want to disturb it.? ?A good dream. Yes.? The details were already blurring in his mind. All he could remember was a beautiful, flame-coloured lily, encased in ice, waiting for her kiss. So fragile ? had Turtle granted the request? Even if he couldn?t remember what it was, it seemed so important that it had been done. Koiugen yawned deeply, breaking his thoughts again. ?I?m sorry, but I cannot remain awake much longer.? He touched her face. This was no time for her to be awake; she always took the last watch, closest to dawn. He saw Puloyong sitting to the side of the fire, waiting for him. ?Sleep,? he commanded, helping her into his prepared bedroll. ?Yes, sleep.? Still smiling, she snuggled in, curling to match his position and steal what was left of his warmth in the blankets. He sat beside her, close to the fire she?d made, until her gentle, rhythmic breathing told him she was fast asleep. Quietly, he shifted closer and stroked her bright red hair out of her face. So lovely. Does she know how beautiful she is? ?Why are you so interested in her, my Lord?? Puloyong?s voice was lacking its usual deferential whine. Instead it was sharp, questioning, even a touch incensed. ?What is it to you, my servant, if I show interest in Koiugen?? Shiren Lo did not look at him, though, knowing the answer. ?Well, for one thing, there is your bride, who you left waiting when you ran off in this insane quest for the ocean.? Something had set fire to Puloyong, for him to speak so abruptly and honestly. ?And for another, she is the high priestess of our mortal enemy, Koiureiza!? ?Speak not of matters you do not understand!? Boichurai looked up at his priest, feeling the Dragon?s Anger showing from behind his eyes. But instead of bowing down to his god, Puloyong only set his mouth harder. ?And then, there is that. You used to fear using the power of Boichurai; now, she asks you to embrace it!? ?Isn?t that what I am supposed to do?? The priests had fought long and hard, trying to break what remained of his mortal mind to release the god within. Poluyong only then looked away, uncomfortable. ?I am no longer sure, my Lord,? he replied, falling back into his more accustomed speech. ?All I know is ? you are not as you were when you are with ? her lady.? The fire behind him dove as a log broke, suddenly darkening the light that had bathed them all, stealing the colour from Koigen?s face. She frowned in her sleep as though she sensed she was now covered in moon light, and shivered. Shiren quickly turned to stoke the fire, pretending to ignore Puloyong?s watchful gaze. It was too bright for him, but he didn?t want her to catch a chill. Sighing in acceptance of the questions his priest had raised, he left the circle of firelight to quickly search the area of their campsite. The coolness of the night air felt good to him, after the dry desert heat he?d grown up in. He looked up at the moon, hovering over the western horizon and half hidden by the trees, and figured there would be only a few hours before daylight. I should wake her for the sunrise,[\i] he thought, but knew he wouldn?t be able to bring himself to do it. She?d refuse to go to sleep again, however much she?d need it. Of course, he was also selfish in this idea; he wanted to see her coloured by the fire of the dawn just as he?d fallen asleep to the glory of her in the sunset. ?You?re falling in love with her,? Puloyong quietly noted, watching the sleeping girl. ?No,? Shiren admitted to the empty air in front of him. ?I already am in love with her.? He turned to look at her, sleeping in his own bedroll, her head where his had been, a shocking intimacy to a god that had women held at a distance his entire life. I just don?t know what I?m going to do about it.
  20. For various reasons, I like to find a few good on-line dictionaries for Chinese (Both Mandarin and Cantonese, or "traditional" and "simplified", whatever those mean) and Korean. I'm looking for sites with similar features and layouts to Jeffrey's Japanese<->English Dictionary Server. Namely, searching from English to the target language and back, subdictionaries if possible, and words written in English letters and pronounciations with the option to view the original script if possible. Thank you for your help. This will help me get one of my novels started faster. ^-^
  21. Thanks for the suggestions, particularly in support of the appendix. I'll actually be using a LOT of appendixes, because I'm writing a fantasy novel based in another reality that has an entirely different rule-set than ours. The basis of a lot of this is the numerology. BTW, my inspiration for most of this is Lord of the Rings. If anyone read my introduction, the novel I'm discussing is Phoenix Flair, Dragon Descent. Brief description of the numerology: The world of PFDD was created by Turtle*. Being created, almost everything in the world has a deeper meaning and connection. Many of the principles behind the creation are founding in the numerology of Turtle's people, which was passed on to the people of her new world. While there are gods in this world, they are not "worshiped" in a traditional, Western sense. They are considered beings of power that fulfill important tasks and ensure the continued existance of the world. They do not require faith, because faith needs belief, and one does not need to "believe" in something that is a known fact. The closest thing to a religion in this world (At least, as it was created and intended), is self-actualization, guided by the principles of the numerology and the process of reincarnation. The most fundemental numbers - often considered literally "holy" - are 1, 2, 3, and 6, as well as multiples of these numbers (Adding and subtracting are not considered in the numerology). In the beliefs of these people, they are understood as meaning: 1 - Unity, wholeness, perfection. In describing the process of self-actualization, the most frequent saying literally translates as "make yourself 1", or everything in the smallest form. 2 - Duality, opposites, and the balance between opposing elements. Everything in the universe is assumed to have an opposite, and by balancing with that opposite, an individual can achieve "1". 4 - 2X2, opposites by opposites. Important because in this reality there are four elements that make up everything: Fire, Water, Air, Earth. Also deals with the idea that while everything has an opposite, by definition THAT unit must have an opposite, which spirals onwards to infinity. 3 - Change, cycles, "past, present, future", "body, mind, soul", and a host of other concepts described as "forces". The word for 3 also is the word for "circle", and in many ways the two are the same in the minds of these peoples. The idea is that all things change, following pre-set cycles, in the end coming back to where they started from, the same but somehow different. If 2 is an image of HOW one reaches 1, 3 encompasses the method. (Does any of that make any sense?) 9 - 3X3. Like 4, important in that it's the square of one of the holy numbers. As there are four Elements that make up the universe, it is believed there are three Forces, each of which has three parts. I'm still working on this part, but what I've got now for Forces are: Time or Viewpoint (Past, Present, Future); Self or Focus (Body, Mind, Soul); and Sense or Experience (Feel, See, Hear). 6 - Often described as "next to 1". Being 2X6, it is the process in which an individual becomes whole, by "finding and balancing their opposite" while "moving through the cycle of Forces". 5, 7 - These numbers are considered unlucky, even evil, when alone, because they are cannot be reduced down to one of the holy number. To a lesser extent, all other "prime" numbers are quietly ignored. Similar to Triskaidekaphobia, the phobia of the number 13, these numbers are rarely used unless in sequence, and sometimes skipped by the superstitious like numbering the 13th floor "14". An interesting fact is that when Turtle created the mortal form, she gave them 6 digits on each hand (four fingers and a thumb on each side). So, not only is the numerology something all mortals have learned from their first life, duodecimal is as natural to them as base 10 is to us. * Footnote: I'm still developing proper names for some of the charaters. Turtle is not the name that will appear in the final novel.
  22. New update: Improved colours and some (quick and yucky) shading. Designed to work on both white and black backgrounds. Despite myself, I'm really starting to like how these are turning out... Now to just figure out a way to play with the heart "negative" hole so it doesn't look, you know, DEAD. (And stupid, but I haven't fixed the heart outline yet. And so you don't think I'm TOO sappy...
  23. Things I do to relax at work, in approximate order:- Work on stories in my head.- Grumble to myself in my head.- Grumble to myself out loud when no one is around.- Grumble to night baker so I'm no longer talking to myself.- Start holding 3 way grumbles in my head.- Imagine punching customers in the throat.- Imagine dismembering customers. Nice and bloodily.- Start working on my horror stories.- Grinding teeth and driving nails into fists.- Complaining about situation to my favorite regulars.- Go into freezer to take a deep breath of cold air and cool down.- Go into freezer and scream.
  24. *breathes deeply* And... begin.*breathes deeply again**screams**Fortunately, this is the vacuum of the internet, which transports no sound, and so nobody DIES from the BLOODLOSE from their BROKEN EARDRUMS*Ah, that feels better.Used to do that in the soundproof freezer at work. Until it turned out it wasn't so "sound proof" after all. If I can't hear the radio full blast when I'm inside, what does that tell you about my voice that they can hear me OUTSIDE? LOL Poor baker, she thought I was having a fit. The epileptic kind, not the "I'm furious" kind.Anyway, REASON for this rant.I work at Tim Hortons, THE coffee chain up here in Canada. (I LOVE those old "Roll up the Rim to Win" commercials, where the customs guy was using it to check which country the people were from... LOL). Because I'm a night owl, insane, and a control freak, I've been working nights. As in, 11pm until 7am.In a University town.On weekends.ALONE.Ok, I'm not in the STORE alone. We have the night baker. But I'm the only one out front. Largely due to the fact that between the two stores the owner's run, I think I'm currently the ONLY dedicated overnight front staff. *deep rumbling of anger*But that's not the real reason for this rant. I've learned to accept this post in life, and enjoy it.No, my problem started two months ago. During a purging of slackers, several Supervisor positions opened up. I ignored this, since I was going back to University full time in the fall, until I happened to look closer and saw the magic words."Part-Time Supervisor".My thoughts: More money, for responsibilities I already do 90% of myself overnight, and the only added thing being deligating and managing people, skills I NEED experience in for my future career in Social work? And at a schedule where I can still keep up a few classes, and so not lose an ENTIRE year?After talking with my family, I got my application in on August the 15th, last day the applications were supposed to be due.Now, can you see ANY issues with THIS and the title of this thread???Because, you see, of course, for some BIZZARE reason, the applications came in JUST as the manager RESPONSIBLE for these interviews goes on VACATION. And when she comes back, guess WHAT? We're in fall hiring mode, trying to get as many poor saps into tan visors as possible to replace all the summer staff going back to school.AND, while this is going on, we're SHORT SUPERVISORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm sorry, that last line didn't have enough exclamation marks.WE'RE SHORT SUPERVISORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*deep breathe*Trust me, this is a problem. Because the ONLY shift you can POSSIBLY get away without having a supervisor is the evening shift. The one I come in after. The one I've then got to get everything that THEY didn't get done because no one TOLD them to or HELD them TO do. BY MYSELF.And not just me - all the CURRENT supervisors are pulling overtime, trying to cover as many shifts as possible.So, this situation is SCREWING the VERY people originally deemed most useful for the bloody JOB.Last night, I found out a fellow would-be candidate QUIT because of this. Not just for the supervisor position. QUIT. And this guy baked, and had already had some responsibility for money.So, they've officially started shooting themselves in the OTHER foot.Oh, and me?I'm sitting here, desperately wanting the experience (And the better pay), but NOT wanting to drop courses if I'm not going to GET either, because otherwise I could GRADUATE this spring. At the same time, I rather NOT pay for a FULL TIME SEMESTER if I'm only going to take two classes so I can help the bloody store from falling apart.Because of the OTHER issue. I mentioned I was one of the very FEW overnight people they have? I'm kinda afraid they might not consider me for supervisor because they'd lose me on nights.Actually, though, if I get even just ONE supervisor shift a week, I can justify dropping enough courses to work overnight an additional THREE nights a week, a whole extra overnight than the Friday/Saturday I can currently do!Does this count as bribery?Do I even care anymore?*goes back to fuming and waiting for them to start interviews, although the need to scream is now lessened.* Notice from jlhaslip: Shortened title
  25. Ah, I see what your problem is now. Yes, that is serious.And I appologize, I didn't realize you spoke English as a second language. And I won't take you up on the Spanish test - I had a hard enough time with High School French. I know I would lose.The actual score is: Languages: 3 Me: 0(This includes English. I can WRITE it. Just can't seem to SPEAK it worth anything. I'm 99 certain I have Verbal Dyslexia.)
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