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She's Hanging Onto Me + Shes Too Young..:( please help


legend112

hi guys,

 

my story is that i moved to this other country late last year and didn't have a girlfriend for some time. i found the chicks here just weird and i usually spend most of my time coding and locked indoors.

 

the thing is this; one day as i was doing some shopping i came across an angel of a girl. she looked so pretty and had such a glow about her, at that point i knew i wanted her.the only problem was that she had a home (who caught me ogling her by the way) so i decided to relax. I was disappointed though.

 

then after a couple of weeks i met her again with one of her friends and was so overjoyed at the sight and decided i wasn't going to let it slip. i pulled a very swift move and got us talking.. she refused to give me her phone number and decided to take mine..and i just thought to myself i had blew it somewhere.

 

surprisingly when I got home she called and things started moving pretty well. we hung out and when i'm with her i feel like i can fly, the feeling is mutual...i think...shes usually so happy too. however after getting a bit close, she dropped a bombshell on me when i enquired about her age. i hadn't bothered coz she seemed and acted mature. im 20 btw and lets just say she's 5 years younger than me! i was shocked and really hurt at the discovery. i then told her to leave me alone and do whatever with boys her age and focus on books but after some weeks, i felt empty inside and guilty coz of the way i told her off. we then reconciled now she comes to my house often and we just talk without much physical touch..although she's supersexy, i've been able to hold back.

 

now the problem is that i cant do anything when i'm with her. sex has never been an option with her since i'm not into that (believe it or not...im kinda focused on my studies)...i am wondering what you guys could advise me to do. should i date her when she's that young and without having sex could i be in trouble with the statutory rape law still? [i think shes gorgeous btw but i will do whats right]


Baniboy

You did the right thing. Don't regret it, you can be sad about it, but don't regret. Usually it's fine to have an age difference(actually I even remember reading about a research where they found out that having a wife 5 years younger than yourself results in more lifetime, anyway...), but when we are talking about under-aged girls and boys, things are a little different.You sure could've dumped her more gently than you describe above, like explain why you can't be together and stuff tho. Above it seems that you got mad or something.She or her family might sue you for using an under-aged girl for your advantage if you have sex with her, so it's not a good idea. You can be sued even if she's willing to have sex with you.Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.How can you be trouble with the statutory rape law if you haven't took advantage of her sexually? I don't know the laws of that country you live in(you didn't mention which country you live in btw, all you said is "this country").


legend112

You did the right thing. Don't regret it, you can be sad about it, but don't regret. Usually it's fine to have an age difference(actually I even remember reading about a research where they found out that having a wife 5 years younger than yourself results in more lifetime, anyway...), but when we are talking about under-aged girls and boys, things are a little different.
You sure could've dumped her more gently than you describe above, like explain why you can't be together and stuff tho. Above it seems that you got mad or something.

She or her family might sue you for using an under-aged girl for your advantage if you have sex with her, so it's not a good idea. You can be sued even if she's willing to have sex with you.
Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?
If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.
How can you be trouble with the statutory rape law if you haven't took advantage of her sexually? I don't know the laws of that country you live in(you didn't mention which country you live in btw, all you said is "this country").


thanks a lot baniboy..man your sig got me laughing real bad!!!
i appreciate your advice

anyways, i dumped her roughly yes, i had received a bad reply from somwehere i had applied. im usually not a moody guy though

Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.


you didnt really get me here. i clearly stated im not into sex at all. when it comes to something that can compromise my education, i never take a sec to make up my mind...its a NO! i dont have any intentions of being involved with her like that, or any other girl at the moment.

moving on, i just didn't say about the country i live in to remain anonymous. i really doubt i can be prosecuted for being in love with her if it gets to that and we don't have sex. i just aint sure about kissing and all. if im to be honest, i've become quite attached to her..

as for waiting for 3 more years, thats a tall-order, i'd rather just forget and move on.

mahesh2k

as for waiting for 3 more years, thats a tall-order, i'd rather just forget and move on.

That sums up everything. I like the way you're thinking here. I don't want to make it right or wrong. But i like the way you prioritize education over girl which you're not interested in. That's what counts when it comes to career. Good luck with life.

sheepdog

You know I must be desperate for hosting credits when I start giving dating advise!!!

i found the chicks here just weird and i usually spend most of my time coding and locked indoors.

That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.

anwiii

i don't think it was you who was desperate, but the original poster. i mean come on. he's either going to be considered a guy who made the right choice or a sicko. the answer was obvious....but the question was posted anyway.

You know I must be desperate for hosting credits when I start giving dating advise!!!


That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.



legend112

i don't think it was you who was desperate, but the original poster. i mean come on. he's either going to be considered a guy who made the right choice or a sicko. the answer was obvious....but the question was posted anyway.

i was desperate? not at all. of course i am here to get hosting as well and got enough money now to get on a plan but if i find an opportunity to get advice on issues that are troubling me, i shouldn't??

I am surprised you really said that you know. why do you think so low of other people? there are a hundred ways of starting hundreds of threads with unoriginal content but i'm sharing a personal story and being called desperate for points? whatever, you can think what you want but i would never come to such a conclusion about anyone.

That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.

i know it isn't healthy,i was very busy and couldn't hang out that much. i hooked up with some girls but wasn't that much pleased, there's just something different about the women here as compared to those from my home country. I am not antisocial, i just enjoy to keep to myself since people my age are into what stuff that i consider bad, like alcohol and drugs so i'd rather have it my way and live in my own small world

Thanks a lot. "Good friends are not easy to find" thats true and i'll see where the road leads us.

anwiii

get a life. you need help. i mean....to hit on a 15 year old right in front of her house? it's YOU that had a problem. not her. it's YOU that approached HER not the other way around. it's not her faqult she's 15 but you were rude and disrespectfull and hurtfull to her. a 15 year old for god sake. so again. get a life and stop tormenting girls. your 20 years old and yes....not only desperate for attention, desperate for mycents.reply to my post again and i shall continue....


user681

get a life. you need help. i mean....to hit on a 15 year old right in front of her house? it's YOU that had a problem. not her. it's YOU that approached HER not the other way around. it's not her faqult she's 15 but you were rude and disrespectfull and hurtfull to her. a 15 year old for god sake. so again. get a life and stop tormenting girls. your 20 years old and yes....not only desperate for attention, desperate for mycents.
reply to my post again and i shall continue....


jezz..dude you don't have to attack him like that. so what if he needs mycents? It's not really necessary to bring it out here and bash him with it + there is a DATING ADVICE forum for a reason! they want you to post!! and aren't you yourself desperate for mycents as well?? we're all here for mycents!! and seriously there is nothing wrong befriending someone whos 5 years younger than you. when he turns 25 the girl would be 20. anything wrong with that ?? No! not at all

anwiii

attack him so he doesn't torrment under age girls again. i'll stick with my own idea of what is right and wrong. you stick to yours. no, i am not desperate for mycents. why....do you see me starting useless threads?

also, he is not 25 and she is not 20. he is 20, and she is 15. you're as sick as he is. SHE IS UNDER AGE! tha\e sad part is that he has to ask advice in the right thing to do because he doesn't know any better. THAT IS SAD!

jezz..dude you don't have to attack him like that. so what if he needs mycents? It's not really necessary to bring it out here and bash him with it + there is a DATING ADVICE forum for a reason! they want you to post!! and aren't you yourself desperate for mycents as well?? we're all here for mycents!! and seriously there is nothing wrong befriending someone whos 5 years younger than you. when he turns 25 the girl would be 20. anything wrong with that ?? No! not at all


user681

I fail to see how he is tormenting a young girl..well there must be a reason why your active in this particular forum. EVERYONE IS HERE FOR MYCENTS!! it's a fact!! besides I'm sure the only reason you brought this whole mycent crap into this thread is because you want to make your post longer so that you get more mycents.

This thread is posted under "Dating Advice" forum. this is pretty self explanatory but if you didn't get that ..people come here and ask for advices about their relationships. so no it isn't useless.

I'm saying if they were 5 years older then there isn't really anything wrong with it. love has no boundaries, if he really likes this girl then yeah of course he's going to ask for advices..

How am I sick??? I never said I supported him. I just think you're attitude towards the OP is just plain harsh.. it isn't helpful either.


attack him so he doesn't torrment under age girls again. i'll stick with my own idea of what is right and wrong. you stick to yours. no, i am not desperate for mycents. why....do you see me starting useless threads?
also, he is not 25 and she is not 20. he is 20, and she is 15. you're as sick as he is. SHE IS UNDER AGE! tha\e sad part is that he has to ask advice in the right thing to do because he doesn't know any better. THAT IS SAD!



Baniboy

thanks a lot baniboy..man your sig got me laughing real bad!!!you didnt really get me here. i clearly stated im not into sex at all. when it comes to something that can compromise my education, i never take a sec to make up my mind...its a NO! i dont have any intentions of being involved with her like that, or any other girl at the moment.


Lol glad my sig makes people laugh, didn't get why it's funny tho.. maybe I unintentionally added a joke in there

As for sex, I said what I said because of this sentence in your post.

now the problem is that i cant do anything when i'm with her.

Your post has been edited yesterday, and I remember reading something else in your post too. not sure tho
As for anwiii and user, stop arguing, it leads nowhere.

bigtimedrama

for me, five years is an ideal age gap for couples. You're only 20yrs old. You have so much ahead of you. If after some years she's still around, you could give it another try.


anwiii

you jhust proved my point that you are as sick as he is.

you want some advice? stop being a sicko that sees nothing wrong with a 20 year old flirting with a 15 year old right in front of her house. how did he even get there? was he stalking her? this whole thread makes me sick. that 15 year old girl is someone's daughter out there. they don't want some 20 year old sick drooling over her.

how did he torment her? read his post for god sake. did you even read the whole thing like i did? i started yelling at her because she's 15. what the heck. that is not just sick, that's evil. you don't torment and yell at a 15 year old girl when you're 20 just like you don't stalk a 15 year old and tell everyone it's her fault!

I fail to see how he is tormenting a young girl..well there must be a reason why your active in this particular forum. EVERYONE IS HERE FOR MYCENTS!! it's a fact!! besides I'm sure the only reason you brought this whole mycent crap into this thread is because you want to make your post longer so that you get more mycents.
This thread is posted under "Dating Advice" forum. this is pretty self explanatory but if you didn't get that ..people come here and ask for advices about their relationships. so no it isn't useless.

I'm saying if they were 5 years older then there isn't really anything wrong with it. love has no boundaries, if he really likes this girl then yeah of course he's going to ask for advices..

How am I sick??? I never said I supported him. I just think you're attitude towards the OP is just plain harsh.. it isn't helpful either.



user681

you jhust proved my point that you are as sick as he is.
you want some advice? stop being a sicko that sees nothing wrong with a 20 year old flirting with a 15 year old right in front of her house. how did he even get there? was he stalking her? this whole thread makes me sick. that 15 year old girl is someone's daughter out there. they don't want some 20 year old sick drooling over her.

how did he torment her? read his post for god sake. did you even read the whole thing like i did? i started yelling at her because she's 15. what the heck. that is not just sick, that's evil. you don't torment and yell at a 15 year old girl when you're 20 just like you don't stalk a 15 year old and tell everyone it's her fault!


Have you read my post at all?? I NEVER SAID it is okay for him to date a 15 year old girl! I'm ONLY saying that 5 years isn't a HUGE age gap! That is ALSO why I said if they were 5 years older, It would be OKAY!

You've also proved my point that you mentioned the mycent *BLEEP* just to get more mycents

I'm a sicko? based on what? based on the fact that I'm here and not liking your attitude towards the OP? quote me, when DID I say it was okay for a 20 year old to flirt with a 15 year old girl?? even if he did you didn't need to act like he murdered someone

legend112

you jhust proved my point that you are as sick as he is.

 

you want some advice? stop being a sicko that sees nothing wrong with a 20 year old flirting with a 15 year old right in front of her house. how did he even get there? was he stalking her? this whole thread makes me sick. that 15 year old girl is someone's daughter out there. they don't want some 20 year old sick drooling over her.

 

how did he torment her? read his post for god sake. did you even read the whole thing like i did? i started yelling at her because she's 15. what the heck. that is not just sick, that's evil. you don't torment and yell at a 15 year old girl when you're 20 just like you don't stalk a 15 year old and tell everyone it's her fault!


look, im getting annoyed by the way you're judging my intentions and the actions. I'd ask you to ask before you jump to silly conclusions, you're old enough to know man.

 

first and foremost, i started this thread to get information BEFORE i did anything. i just wasn't sure and decided to enquire before i made the wrong move. is that bad? i have known her for sometime and i've never done nothing, although she threw herself at me, i never took the bait even before she told me her age! so what you're saying is really shameful on your part.

 

secondly, i told her off in a manner that i consider wrong because i set a high standard for myself, otherwise many other guys treat ladies way badly than i did. i sent her a message and told her to never call me or text me unless is she needs help with her studies. I have never been to her house, where are you getting all this man????? she came and still comes to my house just so we can hang out, and i'd say as of now, we're great friends. not to mention my whole family would be there and perfectly know she's the first person i've befriended since coming here.

 

thirdly, you might wonder why i even got involved with her like that. I remember how i described approaching her, the error was indeed on my part. I got fooled by her appearance. she looks way older and thats why i never bothered to ask about her age until late. when i found it, i even hated myself for it since i could have landed in hot soup had things gotten out of control and me assuming she was my age.

Im schooled enough to know if im unsure about something, i ask before i make a move. is that bad, tell me honestly guys? I have not done anything, i don't know why i'm being labelled a sicko here. its because of such people like anwii that the internet becomes a useless instrument because they are here to make childish judgements and then people hesitate to ask for help regarding certain matters. if you got nothing helpful to say, please just don't reply.

 

you have taught me one thing, never to come here and ask advice if you have right to post and increase your mycents by any childish means possible:) for a 41 year old to be acting like this!!!....im speechless...

 

you should be ashamed because any chance you get to help, you should see it as a chance to make the world a better place and offer advice. the only advice you have offered here is slander talk meant to portray me in bad light when all i did was talk. god bless your efforts, and may your site succeed from all the mycents you're getting by such behaviour.



anwiii

first you were attracted to this 15 year old, you told her off, now you want to be her tutor?!?!?!? dude....seriously....you dig your own grave here. maybe you need to get a little more schooling under your belt as you call it because you have ALOT to learn!

 

slander? i don't think so pal. i have just repeated what you have said and gave my opinon. you're a sicko. please....so tell what country you are referring to where these actions of yours are common place where such criticisms i have expressed are non extistant where you are from.

 

advice? you want advice? here it is. leave her alone. go your seperate ways. you added fuel to a fire. no extinguish it. don't tutor her. don't even look at her. go back to your one room hideaway where you are apt to make less mistakes in life. you are right. i can tell you don't get out much. sicko. that is my advice. if you plan on doing any differently, then please do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself next time....seriously....nobody is interested in the adult adventures with a 15 year old.

 

 

look, im getting annoyed by the way you're judging my intentions and the actions. I'd ask you to ask before you jump to silly conclusions, you're old enough to know man.

 

first and foremost, i started this thread to get information BEFORE i did anything. i just wasn't sure and decided to enquire before i made the wrong move. is that bad? i have known her for sometime and i've never done nothing, although she threw herself at me, i never took the bait even before she told me her age! so what you're saying is really shameful on your part.

 

secondly, i told her off in a manner that i consider wrong because i set a high standard for myself, otherwise many other guys treat ladies way badly than i did. i sent her a message and told her to never call me or text me unless is she needs help with her studies. I have never been to her house, where are you getting all this man????? she came and still comes to my house just so we can hang out, and i'd say as of now, we're great friends. not to mention my whole family would be there and perfectly know she's the first person i've befriended since coming here.

 

thirdly, you might wonder why i even got involved with her like that. I remember how i described approaching her, the error was indeed on my part. I got fooled by her appearance. she looks way older and thats why i never bothered to ask about her age until late. when i found it, i even hated myself for it since i could have landed in hot soup had things gotten out of control and me assuming she was my age.

Im schooled enough to know if im unsure about something, i ask before i make a move. is that bad, tell me honestly guys? I have not done anything, i don't know why i'm being labelled a sicko here. its because of such people like anwii that the internet becomes a useless instrument because they are here to make childish judgements and then people hesitate to ask for help regarding certain matters. if you got nothing helpful to say, please just don't reply.

 

you have taught me one thing, never to come here and ask advice if you have right to post and increase your mycents by any childish means possible:) for a 41 year old to be acting like this!!!....im speechless...

 

you should be ashamed because any chance you get to help, you should see it as a chance to make the world a better place and offer advice. the only advice you have offered here is slander talk meant to portray me in bad light when all i did was talk. god bless your efforts, and may your site succeed from all the mycents you're getting by such behaviour.


-Sky-

first you were attracted to this 15 year old, you told her off, now you want to be her tutor?!?!?!? dude....seriously....you dig your own grave here. maybe you need to get a little more schooling under your belt as you call it because you have ALOT to learn!
slander? i don't think so pal. i have just repeated what you have said and gave my opinon. you're a sicko. please....so tell what country you are referring to where these actions of yours are common place where such criticisms i have expressed are non extistant where you are from.

advice? you want advice? here it is. leave her alone. go your seperate ways. you added fuel to a fire. no extinguish it. don't tutor her. don't even look at her. go back to your one room hideaway where you are apt to make less mistakes in life. you are right. i can tell you don't get out much. sicko. that is my advice. if you plan on doing any differently, then please do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself next time....seriously....nobody is interested in the adult adventures with a 15 year old.

Anwii, how is your judgement to legend helping? Honestly, how?? I don't see how your helping him with your unhelpful, and unpleasant replies. Your making legend feel the need not to post here anymore for help. I don't think he needs your pathetic excuse of a post (JUST for your MyCENTs) to judge the problem he's having. This forum is to help the members who make threads asking for help on what do to with girls. He doesn't need you to make him feel bad anymore then he already is/has been doing, so back off.

If you have nothing proper and appropriately helpful information to give him, then don't post in his thread at all.

user681

first you were attracted to this 15 year old, you told her off, now you want to be her tutor?!?!?!? dude....seriously....you dig your own grave here. maybe you need to get a little more schooling under your belt as you call it because you have ALOT to learn!
slander? i don't think so pal. i have just repeated what you have said and gave my opinon. you're a sicko. please....so tell what country you are referring to where these actions of yours are common place where such criticisms i have expressed are non extistant where you are from.

advice? you want advice? here it is. leave her alone. go your seperate ways. you added fuel to a fire. no extinguish it. don't tutor her. don't even look at her. go back to your one room hideaway where you are apt to make less mistakes in life. you are right. i can tell you don't get out much. sicko. that is my advice. if you plan on doing any differently, then please do everyone a favor and keep it to yourself next time....seriously....nobody is interested in the adult adventures with a 15 year old.


Was that really necessary? the additional insults??
To be honest, I think you're the one who needs to learn. legend might have made a mistake but that doesn't give you the right to treat him like *BLEEP* and calling him sicko and all that crap

truefusion

I can understand why anwiii chose those kinds of words, even though his bluntness precedes him. The topic starter picked a bad choice of words. I have marked in bold the parts that were a bad choice of words, and underlined where context made it seem a bit bad:

hi guys,

 

my story is that i moved to this other country late last year and didn't have a girlfriend for some time. i found the chicks here just weird and i usually spend most of my time coding and locked indoors.

 

the thing is this; one day as i was doing some shopping i came across an angel of a girl. she looked so pretty and had such a glow about her, at that point i knew i wanted her.the only problem was that she had a home (who caught me ogling her by the way) so i decided to relax. I was disappointed though.

 

then after a couple of weeks i met her again with one of her friends and was so overjoyed at the sight and decided i wasn't going to let it slip. i pulled a very swift move and got us talking.. she refused to give me her phone number and decided to take mine..and i just thought to myself i had blew it somewhere.

 

surprisingly when I got home she called and things started moving pretty well. we hung out and when i'm with her i feel like i can fly, the feeling is mutual...i think...shes usually so happy too. however after getting a bit close, she dropped a bombshell on me when i enquired about her age. i hadn't bothered coz she seemed and acted mature. im 20 btw and lets just say she's 5 years younger than me! i was shocked and really hurt at the discovery. i then told her to leave me alone and do whatever with boys her age and focus on books but after some weeks, i felt empty inside and guilty coz of the way i told her off. we then reconciled now she comes to my house often and we just talk without much physical touch..although she's supersexy, i've been able to hold back.

 

now the problem is that i cant do anything when i'm with her. sex has never been an option with her since i'm not into that (believe it or not...im kinda focused on my studies)...i am wondering what you guys could advise me to do. should i date her when she's that young and without having sex could i be in trouble with the statutory rape law still? [i think shes gorgeous btw but i will do whats right]

Due to the fact that sex or other physical, sexual contact was emphasized through repetition, and some inconsistencies from the actions of the topic starter, i can see why anwiii picked his words. But i also agree that the way anwiii argued his point didn't make much sense—and i would not have used such bluntness.

 

For the inconsistencies of the topic starter: You said you dumped her; okay, so you knew something was not right concerning the age difference. However, probably due to the disappointment and perhaps not wanting to let her go, you are still trying to seek after her even though you dumped her for the age difference. This is mutually exclusive; which one is it: did you dump her or not?—you can't have both.

 

As for anwiii, he emphasized the point about flirting with her at her house. This contradicts his "sicko" statements through implication, as it implies that if it wasn't done at her house, then it would be okay. This obviously works against him. Due to the bad choice of words picked by the topic starter, i would agree with anwiii that the topic starter should leave her alone; if any contact (and i mean social communication) is made, then it should be nothing greater than mere friendship. When enough time passes, then you may consider something greater; until then, restrictions apply. And if she finds someone else in the mean time, let it go—especially if you seek her happiness.



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