She's Hanging Onto Me + Shes Too Young..:( please help

[legend112 0]

hi guys,

 

my story is that i moved to this other country late last year and didn't have a girlfriend for some time. i found the chicks here just weird and i usually spend most of my time coding and locked indoors.

 

the thing is this; one day as i was doing some shopping i came across an angel of a girl. she looked so pretty and had such a glow about her, at that point i knew i wanted her.the only problem was that she had a home (who caught me ogling her by the way) so i decided to relax. I was disappointed though.

 

then after a couple of weeks i met her again with one of her friends and was so overjoyed at the sight and decided i wasn't going to let it slip. i pulled a very swift move and got us talking.. she refused to give me her phone number and decided to take mine..and i just thought to myself i had blew it somewhere.

 

surprisingly when I got home she called and things started moving pretty well. we hung out and when i'm with her i feel like i can fly, the feeling is mutual...i think...shes usually so happy too. however after getting a bit close, she dropped a bombshell on me when i enquired about her age. i hadn't bothered coz she seemed and acted mature. im 20 btw and lets just say she's 5 years younger than me! i was shocked and really hurt at the discovery. i then told her to leave me alone and do whatever with boys her age and focus on books but after some weeks, i felt empty inside and guilty coz of the way i told her off. we then reconciled now she comes to my house often and we just talk without much physical touch..although she's supersexy, i've been able to hold back.

 

now the problem is that i cant do anything when i'm with her. sex has never been an option with her since i'm not into that (believe it or not...im kinda focused on my studies)...i am wondering what you guys could advise me to do. should i date her when she's that young and without having sex could i be in trouble with the statutory rape law still? [i think shes gorgeous btw but i will do whats right]

Edited November 17, 2009 by legend112 (see edit history)

[Baniboy 3]

You did the right thing. Don't regret it, you can be sad about it, but don't regret. Usually it's fine to have an age difference(actually I even remember reading about a research where they found out that having a wife 5 years younger than yourself results in more lifetime, anyway...), but when we are talking about under-aged girls and boys, things are a little different.You sure could've dumped her more gently than you describe above, like explain why you can't be together and stuff tho. Above it seems that you got mad or something.She or her family might sue you for using an under-aged girl for your advantage if you have sex with her, so it's not a good idea. You can be sued even if she's willing to have sex with you.Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.How can you be trouble with the statutory rape law if you haven't took advantage of her sexually? I don't know the laws of that country you live in(you didn't mention which country you live in btw, all you said is "this country").

[legend112 0]

You did the right thing. Don't regret it, you can be sad about it, but don't regret. Usually it's fine to have an age difference(actually I even remember reading about a research where they found out that having a wife 5 years younger than yourself results in more lifetime, anyway...), but when we are talking about under-aged girls and boys, things are a little different.
You sure could've dumped her more gently than you describe above, like explain why you can't be together and stuff tho. Above it seems that you got mad or something.

She or her family might sue you for using an under-aged girl for your advantage if you have sex with her, so it's not a good idea. You can be sued even if she's willing to have sex with you.
Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?
If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.
How can you be trouble with the statutory rape law if you haven't took advantage of her sexually? I don't know the laws of that country you live in(you didn't mention which country you live in btw, all you said is "this country").

thanks a lot baniboy..man your sig got me laughing real bad!!!
i appreciate your advice

anyways, i dumped her roughly yes, i had received a bad reply from somwehere i had applied. im usually not a moody guy though

Think, a little bit, is sex the only thing you do with your girlfriends? That's all they mean to you? a sex partner?If you don't care much about sex and just want to be with her... otherwise, wait for 3 or so years.

you didnt really get me here. i clearly stated im not into sex at all. when it comes to something that can compromise my education, i never take a sec to make up my mind...its a NO! i dont have any intentions of being involved with her like that, or any other girl at the moment.

moving on, i just didn't say about the country i live in to remain anonymous. i really doubt i can be prosecuted for being in love with her if it gets to that and we don't have sex. i just aint sure about kissing and all. if im to be honest, i've become quite attached to her..

as for waiting for 3 more years, thats a tall-order, i'd rather just forget and move on.

[mahesh2k 0]

as for waiting for 3 more years, thats a tall-order, i'd rather just forget and move on.

That sums up everything. I like the way you're thinking here. I don't want to make it right or wrong. But i like the way you prioritize education over girl which you're not interested in. That's what counts when it comes to career. Good luck with life.

[sheepdog 10]

You know I must be desperate for hosting credits when I start giving dating advise!!!

i found the chicks here just weird and i usually spend most of my time coding and locked indoors.

That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.

[anwiii 17]

i don't think it was you who was desperate, but the original poster. i mean come on. he's either going to be considered a guy who made the right choice or a sicko. the answer was obvious....but the question was posted anyway.

You know I must be desperate for hosting credits when I start giving dating advise!!!


That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.

[legend112 0]

i don't think it was you who was desperate, but the original poster. i mean come on. he's either going to be considered a guy who made the right choice or a sicko. the answer was obvious....but the question was posted anyway.

i was desperate? not at all. of course i am here to get hosting as well and got enough money now to get on a plan but if i find an opportunity to get advice on issues that are troubling me, i shouldn't??

I am surprised you really said that you know. why do you think so low of other people? there are a hundred ways of starting hundreds of threads with unoriginal content but i'm sharing a personal story and being called desperate for points? whatever, you can think what you want but i would never come to such a conclusion about anyone.

That's just not healthy. You need to get out and join the real world. Granted, it's tough when you move to a new country, but it is just something that life has handed you and it's a leasson for you to learn. Apparently this young girl helped you do that. You also mentioned that you can and have controled the sex urges, and that is great. So....if you can deal with the relationship as a non sexual one, I see no reason for you to avoid this girl, if you both enjoy each others company. Good friends aren't all that easy to find. Understanding the limits to a relationship and taking advantage of the parts you can have. And who knows will happen on down the road when she comes of age.

i know it isn't healthy,i was very busy and couldn't hang out that much. i hooked up with some girls but wasn't that much pleased, there's just something different about the women here as compared to those from my home country. I am not antisocial, i just enjoy to keep to myself since people my age are into what stuff that i consider bad, like alcohol and drugs so i'd rather have it my way and live in my own small world

Thanks a lot. "Good friends are not easy to find" thats true and i'll see where the road leads us.

[anwiii 17]

get a life. you need help. i mean....to hit on a 15 year old right in front of her house? it's YOU that had a problem. not her. it's YOU that approached HER not the other way around. it's not her faqult she's 15 but you were rude and disrespectfull and hurtfull to her. a 15 year old for god sake. so again. get a life and stop tormenting girls. your 20 years old and yes....not only desperate for attention, desperate for mycents.reply to my post again and i shall continue....

Edited November 18, 2009 by anwiii (see edit history)

[user681 0]

get a life. you need help. i mean....to hit on a 15 year old right in front of her house? it's YOU that had a problem. not her. it's YOU that approached HER not the other way around. it's not her faqult she's 15 but you were rude and disrespectfull and hurtfull to her. a 15 year old for god sake. so again. get a life and stop tormenting girls. your 20 years old and yes....not only desperate for attention, desperate for mycents.
reply to my post again and i shall continue....

jezz..dude you don't have to attack him like that. so what if he needs mycents? It's not really necessary to bring it out here and bash him with it + there is a DATING ADVICE forum for a reason! they want you to post!! and aren't you yourself desperate for mycents as well?? we're all here for mycents!! and seriously there is nothing wrong befriending someone whos 5 years younger than you. when he turns 25 the girl would be 20. anything wrong with that ?? No! not at all

[anwiii 17]

attack him so he doesn't torrment under age girls again. i'll stick with my own idea of what is right and wrong. you stick to yours. no, i am not desperate for mycents. why....do you see me starting useless threads?

also, he is not 25 and she is not 20. he is 20, and she is 15. you're as sick as he is. SHE IS UNDER AGE! tha\e sad part is that he has to ask advice in the right thing to do because he doesn't know any better. THAT IS SAD!

jezz..dude you don't have to attack him like that. so what if he needs mycents? It's not really necessary to bring it out here and bash him with it + there is a DATING ADVICE forum for a reason! they want you to post!! and aren't you yourself desperate for mycents as well?? we're all here for mycents!! and seriously there is nothing wrong befriending someone whos 5 years younger than you. when he turns 25 the girl would be 20. anything wrong with that ?? No! not at all

[user681 0]

I fail to see how he is tormenting a young girl..well there must be a reason why your active in this particular forum. EVERYONE IS HERE FOR MYCENTS!! it's a fact!! besides I'm sure the only reason you brought this whole mycent crap into this thread is because you want to make your post longer so that you get more mycents.

This thread is posted under "Dating Advice" forum. this is pretty self explanatory but if you didn't get that ..people come here and ask for advices about their relationships. so no it isn't useless.

I'm saying if they were 5 years older then there isn't really anything wrong with it. love has no boundaries, if he really likes this girl then yeah of course he's going to ask for advices..

How am I sick??? I never said I supported him. I just think you're attitude towards the OP is just plain harsh.. it isn't helpful either.

attack him so he doesn't torrment under age girls again. i'll stick with my own idea of what is right and wrong. you stick to yours. no, i am not desperate for mycents. why....do you see me starting useless threads?
also, he is not 25 and she is not 20. he is 20, and she is 15. you're as sick as he is. SHE IS UNDER AGE! tha\e sad part is that he has to ask advice in the right thing to do because he doesn't know any better. THAT IS SAD!

[Baniboy 3]

thanks a lot baniboy..man your sig got me laughing real bad!!!you didnt really get me here. i clearly stated im not into sex at all. when it comes to something that can compromise my education, i never take a sec to make up my mind...its a NO! i dont have any intentions of being involved with her like that, or any other girl at the moment.

Lol glad my sig makes people laugh, didn't get why it's funny tho.. maybe I unintentionally added a joke in there

As for sex, I said what I said because of this sentence in your post.

now the problem is that i cant do anything when i'm with her.

Your post has been edited yesterday, and I remember reading something else in your post too. not sure tho
As for anwiii and user, stop arguing, it leads nowhere.

[bigtimedrama 0]

for me, five years is an ideal age gap for couples. You're only 20yrs old. You have so much ahead of you. If after some years she's still around, you could give it another try.

[anwiii 17]

you jhust proved my point that you are as sick as he is.

you want some advice? stop being a sicko that sees nothing wrong with a 20 year old flirting with a 15 year old right in front of her house. how did he even get there? was he stalking her? this whole thread makes me sick. that 15 year old girl is someone's daughter out there. they don't want some 20 year old sick drooling over her.

how did he torment her? read his post for god sake. did you even read the whole thing like i did? i started yelling at her because she's 15. what the heck. that is not just sick, that's evil. you don't torment and yell at a 15 year old girl when you're 20 just like you don't stalk a 15 year old and tell everyone it's her fault!

I fail to see how he is tormenting a young girl..well there must be a reason why your active in this particular forum. EVERYONE IS HERE FOR MYCENTS!! it's a fact!! besides I'm sure the only reason you brought this whole mycent crap into this thread is because you want to make your post longer so that you get more mycents.
This thread is posted under "Dating Advice" forum. this is pretty self explanatory but if you didn't get that ..people come here and ask for advices about their relationships. so no it isn't useless.

I'm saying if they were 5 years older then there isn't really anything wrong with it. love has no boundaries, if he really likes this girl then yeah of course he's going to ask for advices..

How am I sick??? I never said I supported him. I just think you're attitude towards the OP is just plain harsh.. it isn't helpful either.

[user681 0]

you jhust proved my point that you are as sick as he is.
you want some advice? stop being a sicko that sees nothing wrong with a 20 year old flirting with a 15 year old right in front of her house. how did he even get there? was he stalking her? this whole thread makes me sick. that 15 year old girl is someone's daughter out there. they don't want some 20 year old sick drooling over her.

how did he torment her? read his post for god sake. did you even read the whole thing like i did? i started yelling at her because she's 15. what the heck. that is not just sick, that's evil. you don't torment and yell at a 15 year old girl when you're 20 just like you don't stalk a 15 year old and tell everyone it's her fault!

Have you read my post at all?? I NEVER SAID it is okay for him to date a 15 year old girl! I'm ONLY saying that 5 years isn't a HUGE age gap! That is ALSO why I said if they were 5 years older, It would be OKAY!

You've also proved my point that you mentioned the mycent *BLEEP* just to get more mycents

I'm a sicko? based on what? based on the fact that I'm here and not liking your attitude towards the OP? quote me, when DID I say it was okay for a 20 year old to flirt with a 15 year old girl?? even if he did you didn't need to act like he murdered someone