Parents Who Don't Let Their Children (at A Reasonable Age) Developing Their Own Beliefs... It Is Annoying Me!

[A200 0]

I am in a pretty annoyed mood with my parents The way they act is plain annoying, they expect me (at the age of 16) to follow their beliefs and views on different things and expect me to be like them etc. etc. IT IS ANNOYING! It's like I am not allowed to live my own life...! Ok I am not saying they shouldn't have a say if I join a cult (i never will) but its some simple personal things that annoys me.First of all they are extremely homophobic. If on TV there is a scene where a gay or lesbian couple are kissing, they immediately say its gross and wrong. I believe otherwise (I think being gay/lesbian is perfectly OK and I applaud people who are open about it!) and am sick of them saying 'no it is wrong' when I tell them that there is nothing wrong with same sex couples. Then when I go out with friends, they make a BIG DEAL about it and ask me to say exactly what we are doing 24/7 and don't let us choose which movie we want to see.. the parents of my friends aren't that overprotective. Also when I invite a friend over, they insist on cleaning up the house spotless to make an impression... for christs sake my friends aren't as judgemental as they are my friends don't mind if our house isn't perfectly clean (we just have a lot of stuff...). It erks me.Then they are extremely racist and expect me to follow the same beliefs. We go for a barbeque or out to the shops and foreigners are speaking in their own language, I don't mind but they automatically assume that they should be speaking english yet when they go overseas (non-english speaking countries) they are hypocritical and expect the locals to speak to them in english! I just find it offensive when they criticise some of my muslim friends too. They think they are coming to Australia to make it muslim and take over the world etc. etc. etc. and that muslims should be avoided at all costs. Their views are extremely one sided and quite frankly I don't like it. Also in elections its the same thing. In 2010 I will have the right to vote and since the Federal Election last November (2007) they have been saying unionism and the ALP are horrible people and the only choice is the Liberals. I'm sorry, but who I vote for is my own choice. They shouldn't be allowed to dictate who I vote for. Unlike them, I think workers have rights and unions aren't that bad (when I worked last year my employer offered new recruits a union to join (we don't have to join) and because I wanted a say I joined. Once I told them they kept lecturing me to leave the union. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE IT! Just because they have had issues with 1 bad union doesn't mean they are all corrupt. I like my say, I want my rights to be protected, and they simply assumed I don't have rights.After 4 months I quit working at that employer (as they disapproved me working and told me to quit, and I simply had no choice) so now I have been unemployed for 9 months, and don't know how I can get work as, as soon as I look at a place to work at they look at the downsides and tell me not to apply. The last thing I want to rant about is my choice in eating.. I don't like eating pig (pork, bacon, ham etc. hate them all) as I simply don't like the taste, yet they say I should eat pork and force it on me...! They don't understand that I do not like it and continually bug me about it. I have different taste buds to them, I don't like the foods they like. OK I am not the sort of person who is addicted to fast food, I only eat it occasionally, but not being able to choose my hated foods is annoying. Eating pig makes me feel ill! I hate rare meat too (something they do not understand either). I cannot stand half cooked meat... it grosses me out! One last thing- I feel I am treated like an object. I go shopping and my parents like to let ALL the people in the stores know that I am a tad underweight and blab out really personal things as if they are things that should be common knowledge. I have a personal life and they do not understand that. I am human and not their object!RANT OVER.Thankyou for reading. Anyone else out there understand my issues?A200

[.:Piper_2051:. 0]

I hear you man, my mom is kinda like that (not quite that extreme), you have a point, ur 16 yrs old, your going to (if you havent aready) enter the workforce, and basically form your own opinions and beleifs anyway, they should respect your tolerance of other cultures, and openess towards alternative lifestyles as well as the basics (politics, religion, etc). I think that(if you havent already) sit down with them and explain that alot has changed since they were brought up, and that you dont feel comfortable with some of the ways that they feel, although you understand how they could feel that way coming from a more close minded time/religion. This of course would depend on how you present it, look up some facts, How many Muslim's are there in you area? How many are productive members of society? How many other religions are repersented in not only the area, but your neighbourhood?If they take the time to listen to you, and you show them how mature you are about the "cornucopia" of society, Im sure that they will understand where our coming from, and maybe will start to see you not as their little baby anymore. You cant change their minds, that for the most part is set in stone, but you can open their eyes to the fact that its not the same Australia that they grew up in, its not the same world. Alot of things have changed in the last 10 years, and even more in the last 50...I hope what ive said helps you in some way man, parents are tough, they want whats best for you, but they think that they know whats best in the modern day society as it is, when in fact alot of our parents ideals and beleifs are outdated and/or "politically incorrect"...Cheerz man, and best wishes....*EDIT*P.S. Let them know that by "Imposing" their beleifs and lifestyle on you, its only goin to push you away, "Like Seeks Like"

Edited June 23, 2008 by .:Piper_2051:. (see edit history)

[gisellebebegirl 0]

I feel you here, my brotha, haha my parents arent as extreme as yours, but they have their little perks you know, like the whole racist thing... we live on a sorta all white & hispanic community by the beach, so they are kinda used to seeing the same kind of people you know, and the minute they see someone who doesnt match that mold, they get all, eww, trying to make racist jokes about them, or point out that they are different/make fun of what they are wearing etc, which i find annoying, i see no reason why you have to point people out that arent nessecary like you, you know??haha same about the people i hang out with, they usually make fun of whoever im going with, or asume its a date, im gonna get raped get an std and die, which is annoying.. and well i dont like bringing over, its akward and annoying, because all they do is stare and try to talk to my friends, and im just kinda like.. mom, dad dont do that!!!lalala.. parents are too old school sometimes. (:

[tricky77puzzle 0]

This is the problem with people - they expect other people to be like themselves.

 

There's a word for this: xenophobia.

 

When people see something they don't like, it's only natural to try and shun it for what it is, simply because you don't like it and making fun of it makes you feel less scared about it invading your thoughts. I'll point to a story in the Bible as an example, not because it's from the Bible, but because it serves the purpose of the context of what I'm saying. You should know this: the Exodus.

Most people know it because of Moses holding his staff up to the water in front of all the people, and parting the Red Sea (which, by the way, is translated as the "Sea of Reeds", not the Red Sea as we know it today.), but some people don't know the message behind it: the fact that the only reason this happened was because Pharaoh was aftaid of the Israelites.

 

Big whoop. Get over your fear, stupid serpent-headed king.

 

If you think something's morally wrong, it's not for you to decide whether other people think it is or not. Preach to them all you want, but don't impose your beliefs as if they have no choice. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Christian extremists.) They'll just shun you and you won't have any friends.

 

(Note: I can see where my argument fails when interpreted by a Christian extremist. They'll say, "Who cares about earthly friends? I have Jesus; that's all I need." Of course. I mean, the entire New Testament is geared towards that. Go ahead only needing Jesus. We'll follow you if we like. Just don't push us or we'll pull harder.)

[elwentindomiel 0]

I share a lot of yours views. My situation with my parents is very unlike yours but I can understand your aggravation. They seem EXTREMELY controlling! Wait until you can get out of your house, then you can think and do whatever you want. But until then try to bare with them, and rebel as much as possible without getting in trouble. My mom is extremely liberal. Heck, she is even more liberal than I am. Since I was little, she told me she would support me in whatever beliefs I chose to follow. She is very knowledgeable about religion and politics and I talked to her about them a lot. However, when I told her I was questioning my belief in ANY God at all, she flipped! Turns out she was OK with whatever religion I picked, as long as I actually picked one instead of none. So in a way I understand where you are coming from. My mom definitely isn't like your parents, but I was shocked when after all this time she told me she would support me no matter what, but then turns into a hypocrite and isn't okay with my decision!

[minimcmonkey 0]

I agree with you - Parents should teach their children basic morals - right and wrong and such.

But not inflict their own beliefs on their kids.

And i agree with you about homophobia being wrong - lots of people will say they are agaist homosexuality for fear that they will be thought homosexual themselves. Im straight - but im not a homophobe - surely it is ok for people to like who they want to like.

 

And people should not be discriminated because they are muslim - THERE STILL HUMAN - they have just chosen what to believe in - the same as many people. And I dont tyhink that anyone has the right to tell anyone what to believe and what not to believe.

[A200 0]

There are also the times when we are going somewhere and dark skinned people were walking along the footpath and they immediately start saying 'hahaha all you can see is the whites in their eyes and nothing else!!!!' and other crude comments which I find distasteful. But meh I have basically given up on trying to get them to leave their homophobic views... but I am just glad there are other people who have similar issues and know what it's like ;)A200

[iGuest 3]

i feel the same way

Parents Who Don't Let Their Children (at A Reasonable Age) Developing Their Own Beliefs... It Is Annoying Me!

 

Replying to A200I hear you I am 12 and my moms says I cant date till I am 18 my dad says he doesnt even want me to date it gets so annoying all my friends are dating and they rub it in my face I really like this guy and he likes me to and hes asked me out twice and its hard for me to turn him down but I have to because I cant date I really hate turning him down I think I sould be able to date but you know parents they don't want you to date they think your still a littel kid.

 

 

 

-reply by shanni

[anwiii 17]

i ust turned 40 but i will always be a kid at heart and believe it or not, i remember my life as a teenager.welcome to the real world that you don't even start thinking about until you are a teenager(aside from asking the most bizzaar questions in your pre teens)life is messed up that way living with parents and even in schools sometimes where your parents and schools have the biggest influence over you.the good thing i see though is that you have a solid head on your shoulders. my personal beliefs is always stand up for what you believe without disrespecting others beliefs. it's ok to disagree with your parents and other people for that matter but it's not ok to disrespect them if they believe different than you and it doesn't seem like you're doing that so i applaud ya.when you get a little older, it will be easier to stand up for what you believe in because you will be more independant and not under the control and full guidance from others.just please keep one thing in mind though. parents love their children and they raise them the best way they know how. they only way they can raise them however is what they themselves know and what they themselves were taught even at your age when they had to listen and be guided by their own parents. it's sometimes a hard cycle to break. keep in mind though that when you're old enough and if you ever have children, you will have the opportunity to break that cycle and then it will be up to you to raise your own kids the best way you know how without making them feel as you do now.there is a fine line in raising kids. no, you should never limit them and their own beliefs even if they are different than yours. at the same time though, parents are responsible for their children and they do in some forms have to guide them in the ways they already know wether good or bad. you also don't want to give a child too much freedom to start making mistakes and getting in to trouble at a young age. parents have that responsibility too.well, seems to me you have your head crewed on the right way so just keep being you as long as you don't hurt others, your parents will have no choice but to respect you and what you believe in. maybe you are able at 16 to guide your own parents now in some of your own beliefs that differ from theirs that isn't of good character or morals or values.i remember as a kid that i was a handfull. i was always speaking my mind. i would always argue with my parents and usually say something if i thought something was not right in what they said or did. i remember when my dad had a coupon for fast food for a specific type of food. my older sister didn't like that type of food and wanted to order something else. my father had said that this was all he had a coupon for and we had to eat it or not order anything to eat. it wasn't becasue my dad couldn't afford to order without a coupon. he just likes to save money from time to time. well, my sister waited in the car while we waited in line to order food. i look up at him and told him that it was wrong that someone has to be hungry just because they don't have a coupon for what they like to eat. i remember telling him that he probably saved these coupons because it was the food HE liked and he wasn't having any consideration for his daughter. whatever i said at 11 or 12 made a difference because my sister was then allowed to come in and tell us what she wanted.i also remember that my sister always had bad grades when she was hanging around others with bad influence on her. at ne time she came home with straight f's across the board. i can see how my parents would be upset and i believe a child should hold consequences to that. f's are hard to get even if you don't even study. anyway, her next report card she didn't recieve one f but it was now d's across the board in all subjets. i found her crying outside and asked her why she was crying. well it turned out my mom let her have it again and punished her again for getting unacceptable grades. seeing as i don't like my sister crying and knowing how hard we were raised in thinking grades are very important, i went in the house to tell my mother one thing. "you're wrong. you just punished someone for improving". i left. i don't think my mom saw my point back then but i had to say SOMETHING. i was 13 at the time.my point is, stand up for what you believe. sometimes even kids can make a difference and sometimes even parents have something to learn from them. you also need to really stand up for what you believe in deep down because if you don't, you will be very empty inside growing up and even after becoming an adult, you will know no other way but to conform to other peoples beliefs and how you were raised and it will be a lot harder to change the longer it takes to come out of a shell.in some ways, i stood up for what i believed, in others i didn't and the times i didn't because i didn't even know what i wanted out of my life fully at the time. i just knew some of the ways i was being guided was wrong for ME. maybe not wrong for others, but wouldn't give me complete fullfillment because i knew there was more out there for me somewhere that was more important for ME. god forbid we are all raised the same and everyone believes in the same things and everyone acts the same. what kinda world would that be? tell THAT to your parents....

[bittr 0]

I am in a pretty annoyed mood with my parents
The way they act is plain annoying, they expect me (at the age of 16) to follow their beliefs and views on different things and expect me to be like them etc. etc. IT IS ANNOYING! It's like I am not allowed to live my own life...! Ok I am not saying they shouldn't have a say if I join a cult (i never will) but its some simple personal things that annoys me.

First of all they are extremely homophobic. If on TV there is a scene where a gay or lesbian couple are kissing, they immediately say its gross and wrong. I believe otherwise (I think being gay/lesbian is perfectly OK and I applaud people who are open about it!) and am sick of them saying 'no it is wrong' when I tell them that there is nothing wrong with same sex couples.

[...]

Nice story. Quite common, actually, I think almost every teenager has some kind of these problems with its parents.
The things you stand up for are of course right, but it's also this thing with diferences betweent generations. I think our generation hears a lot more things about anti-racism, anti-homophobism and stuff like that then our parents did.

Also... When you are young, you are by definition idealistic, you stand up for everything that seems to you correct and right. When you get older you get a lot of things on your head, always busy and tired, and at that moment some people just don't care about what's right and care only about what's good for their families.

There was a nice quote about this (kind of), in a political way: "If by your 20s you're not leftist, you have no heart. If by your 40s you're not rightist, you have no brains."


I am now 24 and my mother still doesn't accept the thing that I'm atheist (she's christian orthodox), and she keeps trying to influence me every time we talk. Although I respect her choice and I don't have nothing against it, it's just not my belief.

So it doesn't get better with the different views. But it gets better that you don't leave with them anymore so these things get only a bit frustrating.

[sheepdog 10]

Ah...there it is again, the magical age of 16, when children wake up one morning and decide that they are adults, and are smarter, wiser, and know everyting in the world there is to know and are definatly smarter then their parents at any rate. News Flash for you. Your not an adult. You have not lived the life experiences your parents have. You have been around just long enough to have some ideas about the way things are and should work, but not enough practical experience to understand how things work in the real world. It's going to be another 20 years or so that you will look back and suddenly realize that your parents may of actually been a lot smarter than you gave them credit for. But that's the future. For now, you have to realize that it is the job of the parent to raise their children the way they see fit. That is what parents are supposed to do. To bring you up acording to their beliefs, in the hopes that you turn out to be a decent, responsible human being with some real intelligence and common sense. Right now, your parents feed, clothe and put a roof over your head. And until you are capable of doing all that for yourself, you are just pretty much stuck with dealing with your life and the belief of your parents. They are not stupid because they believe differently than you do, and you should NEVER think that of them. They want what is right and best for you. Let me play the devils advocate for a minute. Your parents object to homosexuals. Well, if you look at it from the perspective of right and wrong, you will see that it IS actually wrong. The survival of the human race is dependant on us reproducing. Homosexual's cannot reproduce. The human race would become extinct if no one reproduced. So at least in that respect, it is wrong.

[adriantc 0]

I'm a little bit older then you (I'm 20 years old) and I can't say my parents have imposed all that on me. Actually there was no much need I've imposed some of their ideas on myself. My parents are not racists and I'm not - I consider them and myself old fashioned in the way we think. And I like it since I do believe todays society is in a steep (moral) decline.I know you are upset, but take a moment and put yourself in their position. Once you know you'll have a kid you'll hope he will resemble you, that he will become everything you haven't (couldn't) be. If he won't be like that you'll try to put him on the right track...Besides there is another important issue to discuss. The generation difference... The world is simply going too fast. For example, where gay couples in such a spotlight a few decades ago? Of course not! Your parents where raised in a society where they where gay at home and normal on the street. Now the world has changed - society is almost encouraging such (abnormal if you ask me) sexual preferences. It's normal for them to protect themselves and you from what they where not accustomed to. Such a rapid change is very hard for everyone - when you will grow up and have a kid the world will be very different; you will no doubt try to control him. What do parents think? If I ended up right, then why risk my kid future - why not grow him in the same spirit I was grown? And it's hard to blame that thinking...I don't agree with your parents, but you have to understand you will most probably be the same when you will be a parent too...

[anwiii 17]

oh. i love devil's advocate. can i play too? it also must be wrong for two homosexuals to get married and adopt one or two children and love them with all their hearts when nobody else would. that's something else i noticed about homosexuals.

and who are you to say that pro creation is the only purpose we are here for? i guess i should never have been born. i'm 40 and i still don't have children. i must have been a mistake in life. silly me i guess you can group me in with the homos now

Let me play the devils advocate for a minute. Your parents object to homosexuals. Well, if you look at it from the perspective of right and wrong, you will see that it IS actually wrong. The survival of the human race is dependant on us reproducing. Homosexual's cannot reproduce. The human race would become extinct if no one reproduced. So at least in that respect, it is wrong.

[sheepdog 10]

oh. i love devil's advocate. can i play too? it also must be wrong for two homosexuals to get married and adopt one or two children and love them with all their hearts when nobody else would. that's something else i noticed about homosexuals.
and who are you to say that pro creation is the only purpose we are here for? i guess i should never have been born. i'm 40 and i still don't have children. i must have been a mistake in life. silly me i guess you can group me in with the homos now

Sure you can play! Love a good reasonable debate!
Basicly yes, procreation is the reason we are here. It is the most primal biological instinct. Lets face it, if you were not created, you would not exist, and could not contribute anything to society.

I assume that you have no children because you made the decision not to. Modern medicine has some very effective methods for birth control. Or you have some physical problem that prevents you from reproducing. (In which case, I apoligise if you want kids and can't have them) Injuries can occur, after we are born, and the development of the fetus in the long 9 month gestation is a delicate and complicated process, and quite often things do not go perfectly. Sometimes threw the process you may end up with a birth defect that prevents you from reproducing. Very few, if any, specimins of any species are born completely perfect. We all have our little flaws.

I see no paticular reason to "group you in with the homos" if it is by choise or design that you do not have children. If you chose not to, that just means you made a decision based on your life's experiences not to reproduce. It is quite possible to resist biological urges if one sets their mind to it.

Homosexuals are not any different from any other human, except of course, in their sexual preferences. They have the same needs and wants and capabilities to give love and want love as any one else does. So adopting and loving children is really not all that unexpected. I suspect there are a lot of lesbians that actually do artificial insemination and pregnancy in order to have a child to love and nuture.

[A200 0]

So now according to you, the sole purpose of people is to reproduce, and people are not allowed to be different and like different people?Ok I accept that my parents feed me, clothe me etc. but brainwashing your kids is a tad too far... especially bringing them up to be racists.All those people out in the world who are killing people, raping, attacking animals etc. all got their ideas from somewhere... I am at the point where I wish GOD did exist and he would do what he did to Noah > pick people who have never sinned and purge the rest. Some people in this society shouldn't be here. Especially that person who nailed 8 magpies to a fence by their wings, mutilated 2 cats and put them in their owners cars, stabbed dogs, cut the wings off a crow when it was still alive and last but not least, chucked rocks at Koalas... it was in the news today. I cannot believe humans are that sick.Yet it is true. I know many people at my school who are cruel sick *BLEEP*s who I hope die a slow and horrible death... I remember some of them talking about how they tortured a neighbours cat and hacked up the body of a bird they found (luckily, already dead) in the park... I feel sick to be a human sometimes... let the human race be removed from this earth...! Well not all, but all those sick rapists, murderers and sinners.A200