I'm In Love! Now What Do I Do? This is the first time Ive ever had a problem with a girl.

[Ramwhad 0]

I am a jock, I'm man enough to admit it. I'm one of the big strong men on campus. I've never had a problem asking out, flirting, or approaching girls. Unless it comes to this one girl. I've known her since 8th grade and fell in love with her the first time I saw her. After I got to know her a little more she turned out to be even more amazing. But, she isn't the same as most girls when it comes to giving off signals. I don't think she has ever even gone out with anyone, so I don't want to come on overly strong and just skip dating and tell her I love her. She is really intelligent and athletic, she is absolutely the most beautiful person I have ever met, so when I'm around her I want to ask her out but can never find the words. And the few times I've got the courag to talk to her, I walk away from the conversation thinking "What the heck did I just say" I always end up sounding like a big dumb football player. I've gone out with plenty of other girls and I know of some really amazing girls that like me, I keep trying to convince myself that it is just a stupid crush and that I'll get over her. But, every time I see her and our eyes meet, she always gets this big smile on her face and says hi to me and I do the same I say Hi back....and then I fall in love with her all over again. The biggest problem is, I never get any time with her. We both have sports after school and the only time I see her is going from one class to the next in the hallway. I really need some good advice, it is close to the end of my school year and I don't want another summer of not knowing. Do I ask her via her friends, do I just stop her in the middle of the hallway and tell her how I feel, do I find out which locker is hers and leave a note. There are so many things I have thought of doing but I don't know what will work for this girl. How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with? Please help

Edited May 23, 2008 by Ramwhad (see edit history)

[kobra500 1]

Don't come out with the "i love you comment" girls dont like that sort of thing since "love" is such a strong emotion, I'm not really one to talk about asking girls out cos to be honest im not very good at it but I'd say become friends before anything else, because if i were to just ask a girl out it'd work better if i know her first, of course i'm lower down the food chain than you but oh well. You say she's clever well im not suggesting anything but clever people tend to like other clver people, I dont know how clever you are i'm not saying your stupid, but its a fact.

[Dagoth Nereviar 0]

lol.Am I the only one seeing irony in this situation? xD

[Ramwhad 0]

lol.
Am I the only one seeing irony in this situation? xD

What part do u think is ironic? I know it is I just want to know which parts your talking about.

Don't come out with the "i love you comment" girls dont like that sort of thing since "love" is such a strong emotion, I'm not really one to talk about asking girls out cos to be honest im not very good at it but I'd say become friends before anything else, because if i were to just ask a girl out it'd work better if i know her first, of course i'm lower down the food chain than you but oh well. You say she's clever well im not suggesting anything but clever people tend to like other clver people, I dont know how clever you are i'm not saying your stupid, but its a fact.

Well even though, my gpa wouldn't show it I'm actually way more intelligent then most would think. I was in the gifted program from 2nd grade through 9th grade. But it was just a waste of a period for me, and I got tired of listening to all of the annoying liberal "gifted kids" debate stupid pointless things. I don't know if this will help you to help me, but my IQ is 132, do you think that will up my chances with her. Her gpa is a 4.0.

[Misanthrope 0]

I keep trying to convince myself that it is just a stupid crush and that I'll get over her.

I think you should keep telling yourself it's "just a stupid crush," because that's exactly what it is. You can't possibly be in love with someone you've spent virtually no time with (keep it that way). Contrary to Hollywood, there is no love at first sight. What you are experiencing now is infatuation at first sight. Chemistry, if you will. Too many students get sidetracked early in life by this sort of diversion and lose focus on why they're in school in the first place. You, I assume, are in school to learn academics and get your degree, perhaps even pursue post graduate studies. As a free, unattached agent, you also have the option of studies abroad and extensive travel after college. These are things you'll likely never have the opportunity to do if you let yourself get bogged down in a serious relationship now.

 

We are what we think. By spending your time thinking and focusing on this individual, you run the risk of becoming like all those other young people who get less out of their education than they should. Your thoughts now should be on you and your education. Once you've finished your education and get saddled with the responibilities of career and family, you'll have all the time in the world to discover the mysteries of the fairer sex with your future wife. But for now, best to get on with the serious business of finishing your degree, with accolades if possible.

[Ramwhad 0]

I think you should keep telling yourself it's "just a stupid crush," because that's exactly what it is. You can't possibly be in love with someone you've spent virtually no time with (keep it that way). Contrary to Hollywood, there is no love at first sight.

I understand what you are trying to tell me and I've been telling myself that since I've known her. But, not matter what I do, how many girls I've gone out with, how focused I am in my sports. I just can't stop thinking about her, there has never been a day thats gone by since the first time I saw her even before we knew each other that I haven't thought of her. I have had crushes before, but this just feels different. Whenever I see her, I get the most undescribable feeling. Even if its only for a moment, nothing else matters in that moment, not the girl I'm dating, the problems I'm having, or even one of the sports I have later on, for that brief moment, everything just feels right. I've never felt that way with a girl I just have a crush on.

[iGuest 3]

Replying to Ramwhad I am in the exact same situation as you. I am a three sport athlete, and I am absolutely stricken with this shy girl. The method I am using is slowly getting to know her. She ended up asking me out (albeit through her friend) and we had a great time. So my advice is to get to know her, try and point out she looks pretty or something menial like that. Since you are a jock she probably does not know there is this whole sensitive side to you. That is what my problem was.-reply by keefer9

[gisellebebegirl 0]

I am a jock, I'm man enough to admit it. I'm one of the big strong men on campus. I've never had a problem asking out, flirting, or approaching girls. Unless it comes to this one girl. I've known her since 8th grade and fell in love with her the first time I saw her. After I got to know her a little more she turned out to be even more amazing. But, she isn't the same as most girls when it comes to giving off signals. I don't think she has ever even gone out with anyone, so I don't want to come on overly strong and just skip dating and tell her I love her. She is really intelligent and athletic, she is absolutely the most beautiful person I have ever met, so when I'm around her I want to ask her out but can never find the words. And the few times I've got the courag to talk to her, I walk away from the conversation thinking "What the heck did I just say" I always end up sounding like a big dumb football player.
I've gone out with plenty of other girls and I know of some really amazing girls that like me, I keep trying to convince myself that it is just a stupid crush and that I'll get over her. But, every time I see her and our eyes meet, she always gets this big smile on her face and says hi to me and I do the same I say Hi back....and then I fall in love with her all over again. The biggest problem is, I never get any time with her. We both have sports after school and the only time I see her is going from one class to the next in the hallway.

I really need some good advice, it is close to the end of my school year and I don't want another summer of not knowing. Do I ask her via her friends, do I just stop her in the middle of the hallway and tell her how I feel, do I find out which locker is hers and leave a note. There are so many things I have thought of doing but I don't know what will work for this girl.

How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with?
Please help

Omgad thats absolutely adorable! (: im glad you asked for my help.. well, if shes shy, im pretty sure shes a little overwhelmed & might not be confident enough to think that, you a major hottie has a crush on her.. i say talk to her friends, and just kinda let them know how you feel.. so they are on the same plane and can kinda help you out you know?

as in what to do, just make her smile.. im sure she thinks you freaking out is adorable, try asking her to go out somewhere, & hang out together.. or if you dont have the guts.. check to see if she has a myspace, or messenger or something...

[mikeyboy63 0]

Chances are very good that this girl's family expects her to remain focused on her education and to avoid major distractions. Boys are definitely a major distraction, so that's probably why she doesn't date. To get close to this girl, you must honor her parents' wishes and be clear with her through your brief conversations that you are also all about staying focused on your education and career opps. You might ask her if she's hoping for a sports scholarship "like you are". This is a good conversation starter and puts you in a position to talk about the importance of academics and why you're into sports, that if you can't get a scholarship then sports drop in importance. This way, she may stop seeing you as just a jock. You might also mention your myspace page if you have one, or find out if she has a myspace page. This is a great way to 'chat' with a girl when strict parenting or time constraints are involved. Otherwise, you might go the email route. Tell her that you'd really like to see her competing (in whatever sport she plays), but you don't know her schedule. Can she email her schedule to you? Then give her your email. It's a start, but remember to keep it about her and her interests and be respectful. :DYou didn't mention what country you're in. I can only give advice in the west, i.e. USA, Britain, Canada, and Australia. If you're here, great, but if not, you'll need to take my Yankee advice with caution!

Edited May 27, 2008 by mikeyboy63 (see edit history)

[Ramwhad 0]

You didn't mention what country you're in. I can only give advice in the west, i.e. USA, Britain, Canada, and Australia. If you're here, great, but if not, you'll need to take my Yankee advice with caution! Thanx for the advice I live in the U.S. and I live in a Yankee state by the way.

[haberjj01 0]

Look man, don't believe anyone when they say that you should keep telling yourself that it is just a crush. If you feel this strongly about her then you will always wonder your whole life of what could've been, TRUST ME. Definately don't just go up to her and tell her how strongly you feel about her, especially if you have not spent that much time with her. Ask her out on a non-threatening date like a sports event or just to hang out and get pizza or something. It's very likely that she likes you too. I mean, she definately likes to talk to you right? Just build on that. You will never know if you really do want to be with her if you don't get to know each other better.

[hasaki 0]

I've been in a situation similar to yours and I have to say, you must use the word "Love" very carefully. What you are going through is mere infatuation. Hang out with her when you get a chance, get a feel for her personality and let her figure you out a little. I've learned that the more you get to know a girl, the more your feelings will become concrete, what you feel now you may not feel after. She may seem shy, but many girls like that aren't, they just wait for guys to approach them and then you'll see them open up to you. Don't hold back or you'll regret it, just spend some time with her and then if it feels right, ask her out.

[Ramwhad 0]

I've been in a situation similar to yours and I have to say, you must use the word "Love" very carefully. What you are going through is mere infatuation. Hang out with her when you get a chance, get a feel for her personality and let her figure you out a little. I've learned that the more you get to know a girl, the more your feelings will become concrete, what you feel now you may not feel after. She may seem shy, but many girls like that aren't, they just wait for guys to approach them and then you'll see them open up to you.
Don't hold back or you'll regret it, just spend some time with her and then if it feels right, ask her out.

I totally understand what you mean. I definately wouldn't say that I am infatuated with her, its not like my life revolves around her. But, I have spent time with her and I do know what kind of person she is. I've thought it over plenty of times, thinking that it wasn't love but, then as soon as I think I'm about to start the process of getting over her. I see her again and our eyes meet and I get the most overwhelmingly undescribable feeling. I have thought as you did that it was an infatuation, but I do know her and she is really an amazing girl. The first time I saw her I wanted to be with her simply because of how I felt when our eyes met. But, after getting to know her she is just an amazing person as far as people go in general. Thank you for your comment though, I would totally agree with your point in my case if I didn't really know her.