Does Age Matter?

[Burke 0]

Does age matter when you are in a relationship?i am currently 17 and i am in a relationship with a 14 year old girl. there is only 3.5 years difference.. and we love each other. She is proabably more mature then i am, so does age really matter?

[Saint_Michael 3]

In this case yes, regardless if she is mature or not, sexually she is immature and to top it off she is not of legal age and if I remember correctly you live in the states and that is considered statutory rape. If I was the smart I would end that relationship and explain it to her the situation and if she doesn't understand or handle the break up that shows the immaturity she has. Curious, how do her parents feel about this and hopefully they disagree with the fact she is going out with an older guy (you).

[masugidsk8r 0]

Wow.... I thought it was the other way around. Well I'm 17 year old too and almost went out with this 20 year old, but decided not to because of insecurities.. u noe wat i mean.Well, I think it's fine... as long as she doesn't look 14. My friend is 18 and he's going out wit a sophomore (i think she's 14). She doesn't look the age so it's fine.But if she does look pretty young and you "do it" it's kinda weird and u should stop. But I don't think a break up is necessary, I mean u guys could still wait when she gets older like 16.

[Saint_Michael 3]

Break up is necessary because no guy will wait that long for a girl to be legal, and even though most say they will wait for the right time they don't really mean it. Sex is all about temptation and a guy gets tempted every time he looks at another girl or guy depenind how he swings. But staying on topic it would be in his best intrest to break it off because when hits 21 she still be under age to drink and that just brings in another load of problems if he even drinks.

[velma 6]

Hey,What Saint Michael said is right but I dont exactly agree for when I was in a relationship I was 14 and the guy was 19. Even now I am in a relationship and the guy is 28 so I dont think that age is relevant when you have a relationship But I totally agree with the fact that she is 14 and the two of you can get tempted very easily for even now me and my partner have been going out for 8 months and this is the phase where both of us are supposed to be out of the "sex" phase of teenage but we still get tempted very easily so My advice would be to stay friends with the chick with your feelings in mind and then after she is old enough you can jump off a cliff if you'd like for all I knowListen at this age all that goes on in a guy's mind is to "have sex". Sorry If I was rude but this is what my boyfriend said.Dont cause any problems for the girl nor her parents for I dont think that her parents would be really happy.Cheers Sorry If I was of no help or rude

[thaman 0]

I like your posting about your relationship. You are 17 and your girlfriend is of 14 age. Ow you guys have good moment right now.But i believe that you should think of your relationship once more. I think you both are not wise enough to make a good decission. Relationship will be stronger when there is understanding between you two. Dont go seriously right now. Take your time and believe your relationship will work out. Carry your friendship and maintain a strong bond between you two. Time will come when you both will realize what is a relationship, and how two carry it out.

[seez 0]

Yes, in a relationship age DOES matter because if two people at totally wierdly different ages are dating, they are at different stages of life and maturing. They can't even compare their thoughts and have nothing in common - it can even get dangerous. Some say it's a "bad mind attraction"... are you doing anything physical??? I should hope not!! If you are then stop.... that is bad considering your large age difference. It is unhealthy, dangerous and ILLEGAL. I guess I'm trying to say get a girlfriend your own age or dont get one at all.

Edited April 9, 2007 by seez (see edit history)

[FolkRockFan 0]

In this case, age matters very much. The legal consequences...yikes. And they'll all fall on you, not her, regardless of how she feels about the situation (as in: she may be completely in love with you, but you could still get into deep trouble).She might be a very mature 14-year-old, but you're 17. You'll be 18 soon enough. You'll be out of high school (if you aren't already). She'll be...what? A sophomore? Yeah, something like that. She'll still have to go to school while you're off at college, or working full-time, or in the military or whatever it is that you end up doing with yourself as a young adult. Your lives will be so utterly different...or at least yours will be. Even though she's mature and such, she's still in her early-to-mid teens. Her mind is still developing, as is her body. She's not going to be like a 17/18-year-old girl/young woman, no matter how much you'd like for her to be.As for her being possibly more mature than you: that's normal. Girls tend to mature faster than boys for whatever reason.

[masugidsk8r 0]

hmm... I guess my view on this is different from my last post. I never took the maturity circumstance in mind. Although I'm not the thread starter, may I ask what your views if it's the other way around. (The guy is 17, the girl is 20-21)

[tuddy 0]

Should age matter? Yes and No. Within age ranges there needs to be a acceptance level. 10-16, 16-20, 20-40, 40+ crissing those ranges puts you into a different lifestyle, she is starting to learn the way of the worlds while you are starting to find yourself in the world. While you're going to college or whatever, she is in school learning things, being with guys her own age, it will only distract her and you.However, Should this matter? No, not really, age shouldn't be defining weather a relationship will work or not, or if it even starts, but you have to question your own intentions and he your liking some aged 14 at 17 then are you not meeting people if your own age, how do you even come about getting together with a 14 year old to start with. I can be understanding, i don't care if she was 14 or 18 to be honest (any younger, i would be worried), but the law may not be soo understanding, it doesn't take each <16 as a case by case basis and you automatically end yourself in the *BLEEP*, now you have to weigh those odds to those of the happiness you have with her.

[Empy 0]

It's perfectly fine if you ask me, where I live, it's legal as long as the difference is less then 5 years. Personally, I think that it doesn't even matter how mature she is or not, or if she looks older then 14, even if she looks 10, if your happy with her, that should be enough, don't question your feelings. I would advice you to keep your hands to yourself though, even if it's just for yourself, if you can do that, it's really love, if you can't... maybe reconsider.

[saga 0]

In general, age doesnt matter in a relationship.What matter is that both of you are in the same page.In your case, you should be very carefull.The girl or even you is not mature enoughfor a serious relationship. But I guess youwill be doing fine as long as you dontinvolve sex. Becuase even is she said yesyou can still be charged with rape and in theend it is you who will be raped in prison

[rabat 0]

i wouldnt really have a problem with it, but DONT get physical, i thin like its allready been sayd that there are certain age groups, or catorgorys, the younger you are the closer the age gap.i'm 18, and there is a girl i like who is 14, i know thats abit of an age gap, i have liked her since she was about nine, we are friends, and nothing more... i think even though i'm not a very old 18 year old (i think i'd be about where most 16-17 yr olds are) and she is alot more mature for her age then most 14 year olds, i dont she would be emotionally mature enough for a relationship, so i havent ever said i like her, and if i find somone i like more, then no harm done... it has worked before, my grandfather was about 15 years older then my grandma, and they knew eachother since she was about 5, when she was 18 they started goin out together, and had a good life together since... i guess what i'm saying is, age diference doesnt matter, but age (or lack therof) does...2c

[rayzoredge 2]

Age does matter.I firmly believe in what some people have been saying about psychological maturity... although you two may very much be in love now, your thoughts on life in general will be very different. She might not even know what she's doing, actually, and probably not aware of the fact that there IS this issue to deal with when it comes to love and age difference.I personally don't care for the whole legal issues of the matter, but you also have to watch yourself. I'm not expecting you to be a typical horn dog, but I also do expect you to be male. Don't hold back on sex because of legal issues, but do hold back to keep this from being a typical high school relationship of hormones. Both of you are STILL going through changes physically in your body and may be making some thoughts and decisions BASED on the hormonal changes in your body. It's almost safe to say that you can't morally trust yourself... learn to question your choices at this stage in time. (Hell, we all still need to at all stages in life... just moreso during the high school/college years.)Feel free to enjoy your relationship, but at the same time, keep in mind the legal, psychological, and even physical factors that make this whole situation kind of wary to most other people that may view your relationship in (mostly) a negative way.

[TikiPrincess 0]

Age does matter.
I firmly believe in what some people have been saying about psychological maturity... although you two may very much be in love now, your thoughts on life in general will be very different. She might not even know what she's doing, actually, and probably not aware of the fact that there IS this issue to deal with when it comes to love and age difference.

I personally don't care for the whole legal issues of the matter, but you also have to watch yourself. I'm not expecting you to be a typical horn dog, but I also do expect you to be male. Don't hold back on sex because of legal issues, but do hold back to keep this from being a typical high school relationship of hormones. Both of you are STILL going through changes physically in your body and may be making some thoughts and decisions BASED on the hormonal changes in your body. It's almost safe to say that you can't morally trust yourself... learn to question your choices at this stage in time. (Hell, we all still need to at all stages in life... just moreso during the high school/college years.)

Feel free to enjoy your relationship, but at the same time, keep in mind the legal, psychological, and even physical factors that make this whole situation kind of wary to most other people that may view your relationship in (mostly) a negative way.

My friend started dating a girl when she was 17 and he was 23 or 24. And they got a lot of flack from friends and family for dating, but they stuck it out and got married just before her 21st birthday. But not even a year later, they're having marital problems. They have different views of the world and they're coming from different places in their lives. But that's just one couple, and there are probably several examples of happy couples with huge age gaps between them.
I have to agree with rayzor on this. Male hormones peak around adolescence and teen years and are difficult to control. And mature or not, she's going to do things that she isn't really ready to do because she wants to please you because that's what she's been conditioned to do by society and the media.
I just think that most people aren't really ready to date until they're mature enough, and that varies from person to person. I started dating and being sexually active when I was 15, and I wasn't anywhere near ready to deal with the psychological implications of that kind of intimacy. As for men dating a woman older than you, I think there's less of a stigma against it. But you still have to deal with some of the same issues. An older woman will have a different world view and their intentions are hardly any purer than an older man courting a younger woman.