After reading several sob stories and pleas for advice from other posts on this forum, I thought I might share some of my experiences and knowledge. Though I've had my fair share of relationships, I also like to people watch and I always seem to be the friend that everyone turns to when they need a shoulder to cry on. It's interesting what you can learn just by watching other people.
First of all, you have to accept the fact that men and women are, for the most part, wired differently. There are exceptions to the rule, as always, and it's not clear whether these differences are genetic or conditioned through the environment, but men tend to think differently than women.
This is significant because even though both sexes value aesthetic appeal or physical beauty, the emphasis on these traits differs. For example, most men are visually stimulated. Guys don't do a very good job of hiding this fact, and women can quite easily exploit it, hence the large number of "paper bag magazines," movies, internet sites, etc. that make a fortune off of this very idea. Women, on the other hand, usually need more than just visual appeal. It's a fallacy that a woman knows whether she'd have sex with a guy within five minutes of knowing him. Most women need to connect intellectually and emotionally with a guy, which will often outweigh the physical attraction (or the lack thereof). When you consider the long running popularity of soap operas and shows like "Grey's Anatomy" or "Sex in the City," it seems that women really do enjoy the complexities and multiple levels of relationships. It's not that they need drama, but they enjoy plot twists or romanticizing about the whatif's and other possibilities. Brad Pitt, aside from being the hottest guy on the planet (IMO), is also a humanitarian and active in wildlife preservation, which only adds to his hotness rating. If he were a complete jerk, the way Russell Crowe can be, then he would drop down on the list.
So how does this play out in the real world? Well, you guys need to realize that we women know exactly what you're looking for and that we will try to make you think with your head rather than your brain to get what we want. You've been warned. Aside from that, men need to understand that they can't use the same tactics on women. Yes, gorgeous and sexy men will appeal to more women, but if you can connect to a woman on an emotional level by appealing to her intellect, then sometimes it doesn't really matter what you look like. As for women, well, we just have to accept the fact that guys are turned on by hot women. If he turns his head to watch Pamela Anderson go by, it doesn't mean that he doesn't think you're attractive or that he doesn't love you. Even though my husband's pretty good at just turning his eyes and not his head, I'll usually say, "Wow, she was hot" or something like that. He's smart enough to say, "She was wearing too much makeup" or "They looked fake to me" rather than denying he saw her.
Of course, all this is just based on my opinion and experiences and, again, can't be applied to everyone. Feel free to take this post with a grain of salt or voice your disagreements.