missy2205

I think you are a bit confused if i may say. You divorced a guy because you couldnt be with him anymore, now after you broke up you still see him i think you need to be single for a while and know exactly what you really want in your life. To be honest your ex has moved on but he is just keeping you sweet so that when he sees you next time he will sleep with you. If you continue like this you are going to apend the rest of your life alone waiting for a relationship that ended ages ago. Move on with your life. Find something to do to distract you from this guy. If it means you tell him to come and see his child somewhere do it because i can see that he knows you still want him and you cannot move on and he tells you that he still wants to be with you. Wake up girl stop being used and enjoy your life. Men will never say i dont want you they will always come back and say the same old story of how wonderful you were together or you should have done this and that for your relationship to work. Becareful if you go back he will dump you and you will get even more hurt. Move on

hahaha surely got Opaque to come out of hiding. I love how it makes perfect sense to when you read it way to go Anwii. I had a good chuckle when i read it and its so blatantly obvious how Opaque ties in to the death of public Enemy number one.Me likeee

I think theres more science and research to be done in terms of why men cheat than just a simple assuption based on your life experiences mandla. I have had men who cheated on me and men who used me to cheat on their wives. Before you jump to conclusions, I must say that men cheat simply to cheat. I doubt it has anything to do with them telling friends or becoming the encyclopedia for motorboating or spooning but the men cheat because they want to dminate as many females as they can possible dominate. i think its just an issue of wanting to know inside your heart that I've done Cindy, and Kate and Rianne and Susan and Kacey and Rose and Alexandra. Its more like a persona scroe card that you want to notch up and have a long resume or CV with all the girls you have had. I doubt very musch that man would ever be faithfull just to be faithfull. A MAn needs a good reason to be faithfull because their nature is not to be fautfull their anyture is to be a player and do very chick in the local area and abroad. I know this sounds harsh but I have met a couple of men in my life with very beautiful wive and kids but just couldnt keep their hands off the cookie jar. They would lie and manipulate any girl they so fancy and if she beleieves their story thay will sleep with her and give her false security and hope of a future they know very well doesnt and will probably never exist. Its as if men have a fantasy wourld in their heads or hearts or wherever that they want to ful fil but to do do need a real live woman to play the main female character so they lie and steal your heart and make you the damsel in distressof the fantasy castle they will storm and invade to win the snow white priness trapped insode. And As a girl we fall dfor this excitment and in the process of enjoying this real life dramam where you thinking wow I have a knight in shining amour we do not realise that we are actually a fantasy and when prince charming has finished with playing knight in shining amour he will return the props to the prop room of reality andf go back to his wife. When we realise that our film that we have been used to act the damsel for the last 7 months is not even going to make box office release let alone dvd release its too late. We have been used for sex and excitment and we have not an ounce of shame left or any leverage they walk out leaveing us heart broken and upset. It funny how men think that they can make excuses and give validations on why its acceptable for them to cheat and try to make us understna dthe reason behiond their cheating yet the reality if that they are just animals wanting to copulate with every woman they possibly can. Wierdky enought though they dont want their woman copulating with anyone other than them selves. is that not being two faced then? How can you want to be allowed to do this yet you wont let the victims do the same.Another reason is cause men are just not satisfied with a quiet life. They crave and desire to have drama and controvesy. The ilicit ness of an affair makes a man feel like a james bond, having to sneak around not getting caught just makes a man feel so good. I mean if the relationship is a secret then a man finds it so intriguing to run around behind his partners abck and to be chasing a skirt until he has got it and had it. After a while the novelty of the excitment is finished and the he has become used to it so he will probably mvoe on to a new girl and a new excitment. For ment it is even more intriguing when you are dicign with getting caught but not getting caught. if the wife almost catched you and you manage to get away with it, it s something to tell the lads. (oh my god this point validates mandla's point heheheh I didnt realise this but oh my god its so true.). The riskier the relationship the better it is for the guy. Its as if by dicing with death then the validity of the affair is even more resolved and strengthened. Its funny because they the men dont realise that whilst they are getting away with it everythign is fine and dandy bt what about the colleteral damage when they get caught. What about the mistress who didnt even know it was a mission impossible for the guy and has invested her emotions and feelings in you for real. How about the shame she feels when she realise she was nothing but a mistress or a side thing who would never be anythign more than just a side thing while the man was having his 007 mission. Do men realise that it messes up a girls head to realise that everythignt hat had been true and real fr the last 4 or 6 months and even maybe for some a year or more was just a game. All those dreams she was having of a family with you and a future were just a script ploy by a manupulating and cunning male who was after satisfying his ego and nothing else. Does the guy car that some of these girls on the side have a child and they leave scars on the child too. Because when you date a girl who has a child and things get serious and she introduces you to the child, the child too falls in love with you. Because most women with children will only date men who their children will accept too so normally if the kids love you the mom will do too. But then after your game is up you walk out on her and the kids and the kids are left wondering why someone they have grown to look up to and love has walked out on them. How many men will the kids see as a representation of a father or as a father figure. I believe that peer pressure is one of the reasons but I doubt its the only reason. if you look bck in time gone past men was allowed to marry mor ethan one woman yet woamna wasnt allowed the same. Even thoen when a man had multiple wifes he still went out there and did other girls otherwise how else would he find number 4 and 5 for his wife list. i doubt he would meet them in the street and marry them just for looks, he would have a full blown relationships that would become love and soon marriage. So Boys try again maybe we need a fully dedicated scientific research team that will deal only with finding the part of the brain that makes me be players.

Hi Jake. Nice to meet you buddy. How is india? I have never visited there but I have watched thet film about Who wants to a be a millionaire story about an indian boy who was in love with lathika the one whose soundtrack was jai Ho but thats not the point lol. here I go on a tangent again.Anyway I just saw you post and was wondering why you like dating site. I know you are free to like anythign you want and wish to but I was just curious as to why you do like dating site. On you post you mension that you have Gold memebership and that all fair and danndy but does it not cost you a fortune to get that kind of memebership on dating sites. Because normally you have the bronze mebership or it equivalent and thats the lowest one, you can view profiles and wink/ poke or whatever phrase they use on that site but you probably cant send or receive mail without paying /upgrading. THen you have silver membership which normally allows on to view more profile info and send winks or pokes and send and receive emails up to a certain number a month and you cant see things like personal email address and the likes. THen you have the GOLD / Platinum which is normally most expensive and has the most benefits, you see the full profile, the full pics and you can chat live on line etc. Tell me how you can afford to have 5 of these high class memberships. Im not saying you dont have the money obviously you do but im asking what has been the catalyst that made you sign up for 5 gold meberships. Are you looking for love or just friendship. If its freindship what kind of friendship is it? No strings attached sex or just ordinary friendships. Infact just out of curiosity not that you have to validate why. I am just wondering how many girls you have on the go due to the high availability of you profile and if you have paid for 5 gold memeberships surely you cant just be expecting nothing in return. I bet you have loads of girls chatting you up and amking advances to you and you are loving it. Are you married or in a long term relationship with someone other than the girls you meet on the dating sites. Cause in my experience dating sites have been a cultivation ground for many heart breaks and promiscuosity. You find guys chatting up loads of birds and here I am on line looking for something real because I have failed to fight mr right in my local area so I spread my wings out and join a dating site something i probabayl would never have done had it not been a recommendation from a trusted friend. Anyway tHere you are receieving emails from a nice guy who seems very gentlemen and quiet sexy and sends me cute photos and tells me a sob strory about why hes single and still searching for the perfect chick. I get a response that makes almost cry as he tells me about how he wanted commitment but she was still a free spriti and slept with his best friend after 6 years of marriage and a further 7 of dating. It hit him like a brick when he found out that for the last 3 years she slept with his best friend and yet he never even saw it coming. He tells me he always thought men were responsible for marriage break ups because they never want to fully commit but in his case he had been wholly commited and wanted to be different from his dad who had broken his moms heart all those countless times and rhetoriacally asks me wha has gone into woman hearts and minds in the twenty first century. What has happened to that maternal instinct that would make women want to keep her family together and not end up divrced. he tells me about how he cant cry or show anyone hiis heart is broken because he doesnt want to show his weaknesses to other people and yet inside he's heart is in turmoil and it hurts him so much but he has to put on a brave face and keep trudging on. My heart bleeds for him and I know he is hurting and yet the hardest part is that he cant show it to people. Being a guy he's expected to be strong and he tell me how in his culture tears are for women and even at a funeral men should only shed a couple of tears and if they need to cry they go do so in private not infront of other men. I feel like he must trust me for him to open up to me about all this and I feel a slight connection to him because we share things that he would normally not tell other people meaning he must really like me to tell me all this in so little time. I become his shoulder to lean on and comfort him telling him its not his fault and that there are chances in all off us that would do such but then most girls have that aternalness if there is even a word like that. And if were with him a nice gentlemen as he is why would i do that. we find this comfort zone and use that as a foundation for our friendship and the connection grows and grows and soon we have exchanged numbers and more pictures and we are constantly talking on the phone. We get to know each other and he tells me how he blames himself yet feels helpless because he has a good job but then he has to put in the hours and sometimes spends a couple of nights away for work eg at business meeting and he can not help but feel like maybe he should quit his job so me and him dont fall into the same trap. We are not dating yet, we are just close buddies and hearing him say he would quit his job for me makes me go weak in the knees. i have found the perfect guy. AA man willing to throw away his carrer just for me a man willing to do anything to make sure we work out and he doesnt go through another break up. Yes it freaky but in a nicer way than it implies bad. I start falling for his charms. I want to meet him. So next time we chat I ask to see him if he is ready and to my joy and surprise he agrees. We meet in a restuarant for a meal and chat away like old friends. Our Firstt date goes so well. He is charming and handsome, he is a true gentle man and gives me attention and compliments me. I cant help but feel a tinge of excitment i havenet felt in ages. My cheek burn with the blood that rushes into them and I cant help but blush. After that he takes me home and plants a kiss on my cheek as a goodnight kiss.As he huggs me good night I feel safe and maybe its the drink i had, well the 4 champagne glasses actually that I had earlier on, that start talking inviting him into the house for a snuggle. After all he is not the greedy for sex type of guy he is actually about to walk away had i not asked him in. He says he would love to. I make us a cuppa and we snuggle up watching a movie on the televison. His strong arma around me and the alcohol taking its effects. Before I know it we are kissing and kissing. For ages we kiss and he knows what to do. he knows what buttons to press. Maybe after all his now broken marriage has proved worthy cause he is well versed on the art of making me get really hot. Before I know it I am calling his name in passion and having the best sex of my life and he makes me orgasm so many times I loose count. After wards as we lay on the sofa all spent. HE kisses my forhead and tells me Im beautifull. I smile and hold him closer not wanting to let go. We kiss again and and once more the fire of passion begins to ignite. Out of the corner of my eye I spot the light on his mobile phone screen come one and i can hear the vibrating sound a phone makes. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Brrrrrrrrrrrrr. He ignores it and keeps on kissing my naked body slowly. This guy is soo good at turning me on. I am thinking I can not believe i got such a good guy on a dating site. I am happy I joined the site now. Mayybe they arent such a bad thing after all. We start making love once more and this time I am in cloud nine. His body moving at the same rythmn of mine and the way his hands explore eveyr inch of my body and ignite a fire of passion in their path is so amazing. I let go and let it all consume me. As I come back to earth, i hear it once again brrrrr brrrrrr. I drowsily say to him "Babes answer your phone it maybe important." he says sweetly. "nothing could be more imprtant than me holding you in my arms right now." I feel special and smile. Yes he is perfect. I drift off to dreamland. In the distance I cant help but hear brrrrrrrrrrrr brrrrrrrrrrrr. After a while it gets very irritating I say to him babe your phone is really irritating me now, please answer it or turn it off. He says ok and gets up from the sofa. I cant help but feel a little regret because when he goes to reach for his phone he has to stop cuddling me. He picks up his phone and answers it. "Hello." He walks out of the room into the toilet and I can hardly hear him through the thin walls, but I cath a phrase here and there. I am sure I hear him say I was in another meeeting. and right att he end I hear a phrase that shocks me. its not clear but is does sound like I'll be home soon babe. and while Im still trying work out if that I what heard for sure I hear him say I love you too. Instantly I feel angry. Have i just fallen for the charms of a married man. have I just been the other women. I get up and put my jeans on and a t-shirt. He comes out of the toilet and says. "That was my boss." Im like what the eff. Before I can control myself I blurt out "You just said I love you too and that you were in a meeting and you'd home soon, how is that your boss unless you are married or dating you boss. Clearly that was a womans voice I heard it say hello why havent you been answering your phone just as you walked into the bath." He tries to say "its not what you think... er err errr." Thats when I erupt and say "er er what you trying think of an explannation and its not coming to you. Look. I know I heard you say that stuff on the phone dont spoil what we have by becoming a liar. Just be straight up with me so I know where I stand. Are YOU MARRIED OR NOT." He is at loss for words. i say do you want us to call back that number that just rang and find out? His reaction is priceless. He quickly tightens his grip on the phone as if i was about to grab it from him and he's trying to protect it and says "No. We dont have to to anything drastic like that. Well to be honest that was my soon to be ex wife." I snort. "But I thought you said she had left you. Start talking cause you owe me that much." By now he is dressing up buttonign his trousers but still the vice grip is on his phone protecting it like a baby would protect its favourite toy. "Well I'm only with her for the kids, we dont even share a bed." This makes me angry, all that passion I felt earlier on is turning to rage. "So are you gonna tell her about us. Does she know about me. since you are not together anymore. huh. Am I just a shag to you. Am I just a thing on the side. Did you just use me? GEt the F out my house." He buttons his shirt with a look of shock on his face. I pick up his socks and shoes and fling them towards the door. Get out you bastard. Im nearly in tears. I just got used. HE leaves while protesting that I dont understand and that he can explain but I dont care anymore. I go back on the computer and delete him and block him. I dont ever want to see him again. I am shocked at how easy i was to him giving it all on the first date. I deleted his texts from my fone and deleted his number form my contacts. All that passion I had earlier on was gone. in its place was regret and disgust. Twenty minutes later I get a text. its from him. I wan to delete it but I dont. Instead I open and read. it says IM SORRY.. days go by even weeks and soon Im over the anger and log back into my dating site. THeres 52 winks and 12 emails. I read them not because i want to but just to keep my mind off things. I see a cute guy called Ronald he is a divorcee and wold like to get to know me we have some much in common and I cant help but wonder if he too was heartbroken and needed to be understood. I am too hurt to care. but I respond. Things a re slow to start with and turn out different from the previous guy the sex is amzing and he doesnt have a wife that calls him ever. 6 months later I am really happy with Ronald and me being together. He is a real gentleand cares genuinely for me. I start to think to myself maybe he should move in and we can live together. After all he is litterally spending every evening and most nights at mines he may as well move in. I smile to myself happy that i have found someone whose genuine and think to myself imagine if i had never gone back to the dating website after that married bastard had used me would I have found Ronald. I wouldnt be happy, I wouldnt be this...... ring ring. My mobile fone rings i look at the caller ID its Ronald. I answer "Heyyyyy sexyyyyyyy." An angry womans voice screams over the phone."So you are the wh*re thats breaking up my marriage.Ho dare you? breaking up a family Taking my husband away from me from his kids." In shock I cant speak. SHe goes into a tirade of verbal abuse and I just lay there hand on wide open mouth, in total shock. Its Ronalds wife. He's married. NEddless to say I eventually changed my number because She constantly called me swearing and screaming about how her husnband wouldnt even have sex with her anymore because he was too tired from having me after work. I would scream back sometime but other times I would just listen and almost break into tears. I would constantly ask myself why i let her verbally abuse me, why I answered her calls bcause she didnt use Ronalds fone to call anymore but used her phone. I probably let her ruin my mood because I felt guilty but I had been played too. I didnt know he was married. When I looked back i realised all the signs had been there. he never spent all the night at mines he would always leave even if was at 4 in the morning and durign the night after he left mines we would hardly talk unless he was on the way home once he was home he'd say let me take a shower and freshen up and i'll ring you when im in bed and he would never ring me back neither would he answer his phone once he got home. If he rang me he'd be on his way to the shops or in the bathroom. i thought he'd be romantically sitting in the bath rum with bubble bath talking to me but i guess he was in the bathroom hiding from his wife. I felt angry and used. I was mad at me for falling for it. For being too blind to see. This time I didnt just delete him but i deactivated my account and stayed away from Online dating sites. So jake I know maybe that was overshare but I'm just wondering if you too are a player because on a dating site you can be anything you wanan be as the other person only has your word to go by. I fell for men on dating sites and they fed me a line of BS that I believed and fell for only to realise that I was being played for a mug and I dont want other girls to be treated like I was. I am not saying dating sites are bad but most intentions for registering on dating sites are the wrong ones. it is ok if you are honest and the other person knows what they getitng into but giving someoen false hope and security just isnt fair on them. Good luck with your gold memebership with the dating online. Whats you experience like with the dating sites then?

hey buddy,it seems you have gone in to a lot of work and effort to make this girl like you the way you like her. You have done everythign right and been a gentle mean about everything and all the manners you have shown are exceptional. I know I would like to meet a guy thats like you. You have a soft spot and you are not afriad or too proud to show someone you care. Obviously when you ask people about her they usually being girls we will pass the info to the person that hey that guy was asking about you which means he really likes you and the facvt that you akll get to spend like literally all afternoon chatting on Facebook is so cute I think its really a special thing you got going there. you are conmfortable with each other and its a great basis for a friendship. You carry on like that and the two of you will be best buddies for a long time to come. You are very understanding and caring and you are like the brother a girl never had. I can see the two of you coming home late at night from a girls night out or drag dance and you and her *BLEEP*ing about her husband or boyfriend being too busy with work and forgetting to take care of her needs and her crying on your shoulder because hes cheated....again. I can see her coming to your arms for safety and a get away when the men in her life let her down and you will be the perfect grntleman and friend she needs, Sorry to say this and I dont mean to offend or insult anyone but you are like a Gay friend. Shocked - dont be. Look at the course your friendship took. She had the hotts for you and you were just a conversation buddy and were called cute or something like sweet and nice. WARNING LIGHTS there bro. you see the words sweet and nice are to discribe girly stuff or men who are very in touch with their feminine side. As a man you shouldnt take pride in a girl you like or who likes you in that way start thinking of you as cute or too sweet cause theres a very fine line between being a potential future boyfriend and the point you start being like a brother I never had. See at first this girls says I wonder why you dont have a girlfriend cause your soo sweet etc. Well guess what!! Now she knows why its because you are to feminine during the courting stages. Have you ever noticed something strange about us girls. We want a sweet guy who is emotional and tender (but only in a perfect fantasy). In real life we go for the guy whose totally male the guy that other girls want. We want to be like a prize not a just a freebie. By that i mean normally we all see guys and fancy the pants off them. but if I had you for a guy I just met and you start spending 6 hours chatting to me on FB even though Im begging you to stay online for another hour or half hour everytime you say I gotta go. if you stay online you show yourself as a weakling. if a girl likes you already then you're the one in control. Make sure she's craving for you like salt. You want it soo much when its not there but hate it if you get too much of it. You need to back down and stop being mr sweet and just be a guy. Remember to ask your self this would you really want something that everyone else doesnt want? Yes you probably would cause you are sweet hehehe but come one if you had two party invites from two friends who you liked equally and the parties were same time only thing is one was lots of people and was fun and the other party was playing same music but just a couple of people where would you be temped to go. if they were playing the same music at both venues. Obviously you'd wanna go were everyone else wants to be. Its common sense. Now realise I didnt ask were you'd end up because i know things like sympathy may come into play. Right now I just want to put a point across. So we'll ignore eventualities.All im saying is right now you are as good as any guy out there but the difference is your party has no one you market yourself as good music party but when a girl realises that this party is just good music but no crowd interest shes ditching you and goign somewhere more popular. I know you thinking but I can change me I am who I am and I say yes your are right you are who you are. You probably will find a girl (similar to the eople who will go to the empty party out of sympathy or alliance and loyalty. You will find a girl who likes you for you and sees the heart and sould of you and likes you for you but it may be a while and a whole lot of similar posts to this from you before you meet Miss sweet and nice who is your perfect match. I'm not askign you to change yourself, no i would never do that cause once you do that you are living a lie and not being you. All im saying is coke and pepsi are very similar but they are maketed as if they are very different. Im not going to go into silly squabbles about how coke is sweeter or less fizzy or pepsi uses corn syrup and pepsi uses honey syrup. Im just generalising here that while those two products look very similar they are appreciated differently In United Kingdom Coke and Pepsi are treated as the same thing no one cares what they get. they are equal competitors, In Africa due to the massive coke advertising, People are so fussy about coke they so coke branded they literally call every bottled drink a coke and if you drink pepsi then pfffffff. (before I get carried away by calling every fizzy drink a coca cola i mean this. Will say do you want me to buy you a coke with your hot dog? you'll answer yes and they will say which coke do you want Coke Coke or Fanta or Sprite or Pepsi.) I bet in the states they have had such advertising that branded Pepsi the virtual winner of the Coke war lol. All Im sayin is dont change yourself but change how girls percieve you. Change the image girls have of you when they think of you. Right now they think of you as a sweet and cute guy basically thats like a gay best friend or a cool brother from another mother. You need to stop sending 6 hours with a chick on Facebook. What are you all talking about that takes 6 hours daily wow. You were on a high speed train ride headed for disaster.Take a few pointers froma girl who has met a lot of guys who had such potential but messed it up. 1. Make yourself desireable. In any relationship you can give everything alll at once. THink of a girl you meet her and its all fireworks you really like each other and you get talking exchange numbers and still on the first day you kiss her and touch her intimately and she gives you the keys to the city and you bang her. THen she wants to see you again and again and the same happens you go all the way everytime. Now tell me this - Would you take her seriously after that or would you just think what a slag? - Well by spending too much time online while getting to know each other you came across as someone who gives too much in too little time. And no wonder why she is avoiding you. She needs a break.2. Make yourself unattainable. Have you ever wondered why cars that are made in Limited editions are sooop much more expensive than mass produced cars. Have you seen how their owns treat them with care and pride and value them, Well become a limited edition male. Dont be too available to her. ^ freaking hours or 3 a day is too much for a girl who fancies you to bits. Boy, you need to make sure shes chasing you and wondering why you cant see the same light she sees you. (obviously you would see her in the same light as in you fancy her too but dont make it obvious.) You wana see her online and ignore her let her say hi first. hahaha I bet you gonna sit there starring at the screen waiting and frustrating why she aint spoken to you first. Actually thats better cause at least shes chasing you. And when she says hi dont just jump give it a minute then respond talk for ten minutes then say to her brb (be right back) or g2g (got to go) that way she thinks maybe hes talking to other chicks and by human nature she'll wana be the one you shut off other people for for. She'll wanna be the priority not be told g2g or brb while you chat up some other chicks. By wanting to be priority she will spend more time wanting your attentiion and this means shes thinking bout you. 3. Be an elstic band / a mirror. Learn to reflect or bounce off comments. While thje statement i think you are sweet i cant believe you dont have a girlfriend sounds like a complement, its is an underhanded diss (negetive comment). Basically it becaomes a curse after a while that constantly tells the girl that you not in demand so why should i chase him. You should deflect such comments by saying something cocky like heheh I aint got not girl cause Im not gonna just take every girl who throws herself at me. I want someone special not an easy lay. if an easy lay was what I wanted i'd have that in a flash. She'll be like yeah whatever but deep down you have neutralised that negetive comment. Make her think shes slightly more special than others hence the reason you give her time to chat but she needs to know there is competition so if she wants to be in the playing field she needs to be competitive. Ofcourse in reality there may be no competition but theres nothin like a girl wanting to win you as the ultimate prize and be the alph female. Just the say as boys who come up to me and chat me up only to give more attention to my friend and make me feel jealous and get all competitive with my girlfriend. Lol It happenes and i have fallen for it a few times. They know that by paying more attention to her it makes me statrt wanting to negotiate things with them if i was being all high and mighty. No one wants to be rejected for another. I dont know if reight now you are way beyond the repair this friendship line but I sy quit asking bout her and next time you see her with a female frined at church and you go over for a chat be nice to her and greet her but pay so much more attention and flirt with the friend and laff at her friends jokes more than hers. Then when you say bye just say bye with nice smile to her and an even bigger smile to the friend and say hope to see you again next week. And if she she asks you what was that about ? just laugh it off and be like I dont know what you on about. I js spoke to you and her equally and then say anyway how have you been. While shes typing just type sorry I gotta go see a buddy or dinner or whatever so you live her hanging wanting to say stuff but unable to. THat way you are showing herthat you are not sweet and cute. Just show her you are nice but not a gay best friend. Remember shes male you are female so dont forget to throw in naughty hints like telling her u like the way her boobs look hot on the latest picture shes uploaded or that her skirt was so short she's actaully tempting you... it doesnt have to be raw and cringy but inuendos and euphenisms here and there to remind her you are opposite sexes and that you want more than just 6 hours facebook. You should lead the way things go. Make crude jokkes like why would your parents trust me to come over to yours when they not there. DOnt they realise when I wanna go down to second base with their daughter. If i was your dad I would never let me anyway near your place. lol Thats showing her you find her attractive and you want things that arent just friendship. Remeber that when she calls you over you can sometimes say I gotta call up and try to cancel this thing i had arranged for this weekend. If she bails out on you cause of it. then dont worry take one for the team. Because shes gonna be wondering what the thing was anyway meaning shes thinking bout you. The more thinking the more she wants you lol.Anyway I think thats enough hints right there. Biggest hint being stop being a girly girl ooops I mean girly man cause you aint gonna get nowhere being sweet and cudly like a teddy bear. Be a strong man whom a girl wants to be with and let others be your wingman. You rather be the heartbreaking bastard that she goes to her gay best friend crying about than the gay best friend unless you are indeed gay and her best frined. That way you wont hurt that the girl you want doesnt want you back. Unless your bestfriends Husband is the man you want???

I have toyed around for many years with this concept wondering if there is indeed another universe or a parrallel one as hinted by quantum physics. it really hard to say because while theres no proof of a parellel universe in existence, there is no proof that one doesnt exist either all we can do is speculate and the longer we survive and realise theres a possibility that science is unearthing more and more things relating to our history it actually creates more and more doubt that we are the only ones that exists. Maybe we are the only ones that exist in our form but then maybe even mars has life but a totally different make up of life eg the rocks are alive and have a conscience yet when we think of life as in fishes and birds and humans. Yet life even on earth doesnt depend on oxgen as previously thot before well not all life. theres some plants that actually live in some form of deadly acid that were int he papers last year. they adapted because they were in acidic conditions for years and years and over time they mutated to survive in their conditions obviously some plants died in the process baecause they couldnt cope that well.

Why would you wana loose a chance to make some decent girl happy just because youa re a coward and cant stand firm on what you believe. Thats totally selfish. Whay dont you just break it all off instead of wasting hers and your time cause the longer it lasts the more things will hurt when you have to break it off. I say you should be a man about it and make the right move or as my moms says DO the right thing. Read most of the responses on here they make a lot of sense and you asked for our advice so at least listen to it

While Blu ray has been impressive I think that its a product that hasnt really taken up much from the point where HD DVD's left off. I am not saying that BLU RAY id useless im merely saying changes were from Cassette to CD from CD to Storage devices like memory stick and MP3 player and the IPAD / Iphoneand HD Picture. THere are visual changes in the way they operate or dispaly their stored info. But HD didnt really do much except increase storage space really yes the pic is improved but not that much from a HD DVD unless you a great fan of Blu ray you cant really see the difference in picture quality or like you would on a Dvd to HD dvd or VHS tape to dvd. Unless of course say blu ray had come with 3d tv it woud have made an impact but in normal life (outside the video game worl I find that blu ray hasnt contributed much to the Multimedia industry) ofcourse this is a shallow conclusion because i am not researched on the gaming industry which i know has a fair share or chucnk of the technology market. Im just wondering if the guys doing research and making technology are gonna make any massively huge strides in technology weather by improving it or creating a new gadget etc like the improvent of pc's from windows 3.1 t windows 95 or the Lauch of Iphone from the standard mobile phone. Lol Iphones actually made brick size phones cool agaian. i remeber when smaller was more expensive in terms of fones. We all used to predict that in 2010 fones would be really small yet powerfull things until someone put a camera in the fones and a touch screen and internet and boom fones started increasing in size lol. I just wish they can make like 320 Gig hard drives for fones or Memory cards that are really massive not in size but storage ability.Keep the tech threat going

hahaha the first thing i thought when I saw this post was I hope hes not a sugar daddy. Speaking about school girls etc. I wasnt gonna give any advice at all lool. Its been 4 years since your post. My response wont be usefull to yu by now. You probabaly are an expert at getting chick now I guess cause you 19 or twenty now and you like in UNiversity or senior high depending on the American system which im not familiar with as I am English.What i would like is for everyone thats still on the forums that posted problems in the past and years have gone by to at least try and update whats happened since so we see what time has brought and what advice worked for yu and the lessons you have learnt cause while we gave advise most of us werre giving theory advice and yes you probably have real experience and made decisons that affected your life in what ever way. It wuld be nice to hear a personal experience to see what our advice may or may not have caused in another persons life.

have you ever heard of a YES Sandwich. its basically where you say no but like a cheeses sandwich you have bread on both outsides, the real deal is whats in the middle. Seeing as you dont really like this girl but dont want to hurt her you gotta dump or ditch her in a way that she is not hurt or rejected because so far she hasnt done anything bad to deserve a mean ditch. Hence the use of a Yes Sandwinch which basically is sandwiching a negetive with two yeses or positives. This will effectively oput your message across yet avoiding the rejection pain cause the victim will not even realise that they have been rejected for instance she comes up to you all nicey nice and says hey dude wanan catch a movie this weekend. You smile and be like Oh yes I'd love to do that (thats the positive) but unfortunately I already made plans for the weekend and I cant cancel cause I promised the person 3 weeks ago and I got a family reunion the week after (thats the negetive at this point their hopes fade) but we can always re arrange when we see each someother time yeah. (thats the upper right there). Suddently they dont feel that rejected cause you just gave them hope. All thios while you are false dialing on your fone and then you lift it to you ear and say I gottat make this call. "Hello" then put hand over fone mouth piece and mouth to her catch you later while backing away then get back to phone "Hello er yes about that assignment we had have you managed to give it to mr kays on time cause I need you to help me out on the theises" by then you should be far away Pocket your fone and make a fist exhale onto your fist and wipe the nails against your chest as if your shinning them cause you just pulled a fast one right there and left no casualties. its called a YES Sandwich

heheh its so cute when love stories are this cute. But then the thing is technology is improving daily and so are the ways to meet people. When I was a kid meetign a girl from another town was a massive feat. it was like if you had a girl from London and you lived in Birmingham it was like you werre the shizzle. We sortof limited our scope to local hood girls or maybe the immediate town and thats stillt he case in many peoples lives but then the internet has redefined our local space and local towns. For some local town is Facebook and Myspace and skype because thats their worl and thats how they will find love. FOr others its speed dating for yet others still its blond dates. These days it doesnt matter how you meet the point is finding someone good and rite for you who makes you happy and you make them happy. There is no need to waste time localising your scopes if girls in your physical town dont do it for you or guys in your school are immature and you want a guy thats from a different culture or country. The internet has redifined our borders lol waht with googlemaps you can even go places with out ever leaving your room Welcome to the virtual global village and wish yoi all the best in your love life. I think its been a couple years since you posted this - whats the update with your love life did everything work out or u split up in the months gone past. would be nice to know

I think this is a very difficult decision to make and will reflect differently from individual to individual. While its easy to say to anyone thats been a victim should dump the cheating arsehole the reality is that cases and emotions will differ from person to person in every situation. I know its easy to say Im leaving the cheater but then when it comes to the action of actually leaving we may have a lot of dragged feet.In the past i have been in a very serious relationship and he was the best boyfrined ever. Our relationship was very romantic and loving and he dotted me everyy step of the way. Even though i am a very trusting person, this boyfriend worked on making trust even stronger between us. He was were he always said he was and would call me throughout the day and I would call him anytime or visit his place as and when I pleased and over 7 years I grew to cement trust him because he never gave me any reason to even think he may see another girl behind my back. I had keys to his place, paswords to his email and facebook and he would let me use or borrow his phone all the time no girls would text or call. I knew he was faithful and my trust for him just improved with each day. We were getting all serious due to the amount of trust and love that was flowing between us. its not like I would measure the trust we had in each other but its what i realise when I look in retrospect and realise where things were going back then. I am one person who stringly believed in you cheat on someone then you are not worth a second chance EVER. I would tell this to my girlfriends who had been pplayed by boyfriends and would encourage them to leave cheating lovers. With me there was no room to reconcile if the break up was caused by cheating. I used to think my friends / workmates were dumb for giving a cheat a second chance. But i didnt ever think this would happen to me one day because I had told him for day one you cheat youre out. and I made it clear and shared with him stories of my girlfreidns and the advice I gave them and even some male friends who had been cheated on I would advise a complete break up and as a couple I would talk to him at home and say stuff like I think your riend Tony is a wuss how can he go back to a cheating girlfriend cause if she didnt it once she gonna do iy again. And he would say yeah what a douche bag lol. With time I grew to think we shared the same passion on faithufllness. He would tell me about idot Brian or silly Trevor who was cheating on his girlfreind with the waitress down the road and how stupid that was seeing as he had a really pretty girlfrind and a steady realtionship. He would talk down about people tht couldnt be faithfull and told me it wasnt fair to have someone invest all their emotions on you if you were not serious because breaking their heart would scar them for a long time and even after that you taint the trust for the next boyfriend who may be completely genuine but because she thinks I was cheated and I didnt realise it she thinks ive heard it all before and mr genuine loses his true chance at happines cause of a cheat who was selfish. My boyfreind was exhibiting perfect boyfriend material right there. We shared the same valuse especially on faithfull ness. Without realising it I began to visualise a life around him and with him. Slowly over the years I grew to depend on having him as half my life. I know we spend so much time telling each other that we should never ever completely trust another person or think that someone would never let us down because we are setting overselves up for a fall. But in real life trust creeps up on you without you realising it. One second you are fully in control leaving room for disappointment but then someone slowly builds up the trust in our subconscious by never letting us down hence the statement I never thought you could do that to me. Sooner or later they have bought your trust completely and you dont even realise it you still think you have left room for siaaspointment btu in actualy fact that gap is only in your head. Anyway after nearly 6 years of being together he started having an affiar (if I can even call it that since we were not married). But he started cheating on me with a close freind. What was even worse was she was a mutual freind and so it wasnt surprising when she called his phone or mine bacuase she would speak to either of us and it was not suspicious seeing her ring his phone or mine. It was the last thing i expected or would have suspected because she didnt call him anymore than she called me and its not like her calls increased suddenly. I dont know if it was him who called her or what but one way or another they started datung behind my back. I had no clue and me and her became closer I dont know if she became close to me just to have acess to him or it was just that we spent so much time that we got closer but all thhis happened under my nose and I only found out way after they broke up. I found love note she had slipped in this pocket after a passionate date saying she was happy they were so good together and how perfect they were but she hated doing this to me but thats what made everything so much more intense between them. The trying to get stolen moments and stolen kisses etc. It was a cute note only it was talking bout my man. I rang him up straight away and confronted him and when he confessed to me and appologised i saw red. My heart suddenly felt this searing pain. It was as if I had wanted him to deny it and say it wasnt true but he just said I had an affair with her i didnt know what i was thinking I broke it up after 3 months cause I realised I didnt want to cheat on you and that i love you more than to do that to you. My instant reaction was to cuss him and slam the phone down on him. I didnt know what to do or how to react except to grab all his stuff and bin it. it was all i could do. Took every item of clothing and photos in my flat and binned them. I was hurting and yet panicking I was thinking theres no room for a love rat in my life once a cheat always a cheat etc. I didnt stop binning his stuff until I had got rid of every item that he had ever bought me or bought for my place. I constantly replayed his voice saying i didnt know what i was thinking I broke it up after 3 months cause I realised I didnt want to cheat on you Three bloody months I kept whispering as tears flowed down my face and I cried for hours and hours. I wanted to kill myself to diee to end it all but I didnt have the guts to. I dodnt know how to live wiihtout him yet he cheated on me. Was I not good enough for him. My mind went back to our realtionship in the past year we had sex daily except when I was on my period and he hadnt changed in anyway he was completely loving and he had the same vigor as always yet theer in my hand i had a note sayign the way you make love to me is sooooo electrifying how had he managed to play me for such a fool. I dodnt even know what to do for hours is there on the sofa curled up crying my eyes out. I dodnt sleep for nearly two days neither did I shower I just kept crying and Hating him and stuffing my self with junk food as I dodnt have the heart to cook. It was only whhen another friend from work got worried I hadnt phoned in to work and not turned up that she came by and found me still mopping around. She was there for me and helped me cope over the next few days. My now ex boyfriend had called me countless times and sent loads of texts and appologies on the first couple days then went dead. I felt a tingle of revenge satisfaction as each call went to voicemaila nd every text came through because I knew he was worried or hurting too and the more he called the more i knew i had a certain value to him or else he wouldnt be calling this much.Then on the third day He didnt call or text he he called me on the fifth day and by then I had sortof come back to my sense and I answered his call. I was angry and all but i realise now that him not calling me had made me panick in a wierd way. It had made me wonder why he wasnt calling me and slowly i had begun to feel rejected as if he was dumping me and i found my self getting depressed waiting for the next opportunity to ignore his call but when he called I answered and he simply said we cant do this over the phone. Im coming rund to see you and we can talk face to face and i am not asking you to take me back no not at all I just wanan at least end this in a civil way if its ending and he said what time do I come around around. I said WHtever but dont try anything stupid he said I promise I wont. I just need to talk to you and clear the air. Since you said whatever time Im gonna drop by yours after work if thats ok and with that he hung up the phone. I felt rage at him takingt his air of authority with me yet he was the bastard that cheated on me. I was gonna be away when he got to my flat. I left shortly before he finished worked and went to the pub with a friend I drank shots and tequilla and minutes turned to hours and before long it was midnight. I went back home and satisfied I had stood him up and rejected him and yet when I got to my flat he had left a buch of white roses with a noe that said I didnt feel worthy to even speak to you after what I have done to you. Im sorry. I melted but hated that he didnt suffer the standing up apparently he only brought the floors knoocked the dor and left. Over the next few days i didnt hear from hi all i got were roses at my dorrstep everymorning all with reminders of special moments we shared in our life together and then it stopped suddenly. And for a while I had nothing, NOTHING But silence.I started to feel lonely as i started to miss himbeing around and I felt like if i kept pushing him away id loose him I started making excuses that he had suffered enough and i was being unreasonable and finally i called him and said we needed to talk. Needless to say when he turned up to talk he had puppy dog eyes and heartfelt appologies. He did everythigng right and told me about the future we would be throwing away over his mistake and how he would be angry too if I had done the same to him but he would forgive me eventually ad want a life with me because he loved me so much. Needless to say I fell back into his arms and though I had thought I wouldnt sleep with him for months just to punish him he didnt nag me for sex and I soon found me wanting him even more cause I didnt want him getitng it elsewhere. and once I started making love to him all the feleing came back and though I would sit there sometimes feeling angry and cheated I found it easier to let him back into my life. I know that things slowly faded over the next year probably because of the trust but it was easier that way than for me to dump him straught away because it made me feel worhless , cheated and alone and because we'd been together so long it was hard coping with all those elements at once. I found it easir letting him back into my life but constantly reminding myself that he cheated on me and i shouldnt give my all.I know you may think I am dumb for that but i think we all cope with cheats differently and firumits may tell us we should take step abc and all that I realised from personall experience that the best way to cope with a cheat is whatever is best for you. If it means slowly weaing them off you then do that but theres no point in suffering depression for three years and being suicidal just because you cut that person off at once and cant cope witht he result of doing this drastic action maybe thats whay married people do separation periods i dont know but i found that while once trust is gone the realtionship will usually not last its easier to slowly let go than an immediate cut off. Hope my experience helps even in a little way.

yeah you did and we answereed you. wht you tryna do by double posting like that.

wow your situation is not one i would like to be in because its very difficult to be in your shoes. I wish there was an easy fix for the situation you have but i doubt that very much.We need to take into account that there are two points of view one being yours and the other being that of your cousins combined we will assume in this case that they have the same problem even though they may have completely separate problems which are completely unrelated.At this point we have already established the fact that their actions are affecting you negatively and you are worried about your cousins hence the reason you wrote on these forums. So to kick it of I?d say let me first try and give my two cents of advice on how you can handle this bit of the equation. I think your situation is hard and needs a shoulder to cry on because right now you fill like its your fault that your cousins ct themselves and bleed just to feel better but its not your fault its only that you have the soft heart that pains and feels sorry for them. I know they say live me alone and all that but your cousins know that you worry and stress about them hence they make all the drama before they lock themselves in the bath room and cut. I will give you and example but it may be just a long shot. Remember when you were younger and were not allowed alcohol or had sex the first time and didn?t want anyone to find out you would do all your things in private trying hard to make sure no one ever finds out. When your first boyfriend broke up with you and you hurt inside so much but couldn?t tell anyone at home because you were said to be too young to be seeing boys you did everything privately save for close friends you trusted and told but you basically cold have got pregnant and had an abortion and bled in the toilet and made sure it was all kept hush hush so mother and daddy would never hear a thing that?s how well you made sure things were under wraps. When your cousins want to cut they can go in the bath and ct away all they want with out screaming and crying loudly they can go there lock door ct away and come out bleeding or bandaged wearing a jumper and no one would know but they make a scene to get attention and they enjoy that pleading and begging you do when they lock the door and you are imagining the worst may have happened they enjoy screaming leave me the f alone because that?s their convincer that they don?t want attention. While they may be actually cutting and getting endorphins in the brain which make them high, they also enjoy riding the wave of pity they get with the cutting sometimes they start of not cutting but when they first see the pity they get when people see blood they know they have to push the envelope further because after few times people start to realise they are bluffing so they start cutting for real and after a while people realise they are only doing light cuts and don?t give that much sympathy to them so the cuts get deeper for the same sympathy they used to get. Now what they don?t realise is that they are causing you trauma having to witness this and see the blood and all that it must haunt you especially because you don?t know the psychology behind it all. You fear they will bleed to death and as they sit there riding high on cutting you hear silence and panic fearing the worst or wondering if they may have bled to death in the bathroom. My advice to you is simple but hard to implement. I say ignore them when they throw their tantrums don?t check up on them when they lock themselves in the bath. Just ignore their antics and say things like if they cry ask what?s wrong and if they get all hysterical say do you want me to leave you alone and if they say yes, just get up and leave and go watch TV or go on the internet or listen to your iPod or use the iPod or text friends just do anything that?s not entertain them. If they say I?m going to slice and dice myself just say that?s cool if it makes you feel better and if you can do us all a favour and tell a phone with you incase you are bleeding to death by mistake you can ring your self 911 case I don?t really want to have to call the ambulance or visit any self harming person in hospital let alone find their dead body in the bath. Don?t say this angrily just say it calmly because shouting will only make them feel they are getting attention. Just blank them even if they slice and bleed everywhere just cold shoulder them and show non tolerance to their behaviour case at the end of the day you do more harm by giving an attention seeker attention than by ignoring them. Yet while there is a chance they may change for the better chances are you are going to be affected negatively because of the things you will see because you know they are wrong. And because you will worry night after night wondering why they are being stupid yet they are sleeping and enjoying messing your life and mind.Your Cousins are being silly they are trying to get attention what they don't realise is that you have feelings. I its the end know they may have a problem that is affecting them. I wish there was an easy way for them. But at the moment the best can hope for is that they have a rude awakening. Someone needs to sit them down and talk to them. I hope that the person that speaks to them is not A parent or teacher.It would be easier if that person is a professional or someone that has been 1 that situation before. Someone they can identify with. Someone who will not talk down to them but explain things from personal experience. Probably someone who knows the danger of using a knife or a razor to cut yourself. They need to become aware of the danger to their health and the damage they are doing to their skin I hope one day they learnThat they are all be hurting themselves. Can you not introduce your Cousins to this website so they can ask questions and get help. I feel sorry for them and I hope they get some help.We are here to help them if they can only ask, they will get the help they need. This website will hopefully give them an understanding of what been going through from people that have been in this situation. of people around the world have been in their shoes. So it will not be Hard to find someone who understands what's the problem and how to deal with the situation. I know it's hard but, trust me there is a way.A friend of mine once have the same problem and now he's in a professional hospital and they're helping him.

Hi guys,So my relationship is 1 year and change long. He's loving, caring and never cheated on me. When I'm with him, I have doubts. He says everyone has doubts every now and then. When I'm away from him, I miss my best friend. I feel like I should be there for his family. At the same time, I know I need my distance. I have difficulty creating boundaries and am very nice. We still talk every day, even though I broke up with him. Not the first time we broke up, each time we makeup. I start to miss him, get weak and that's that. My gut is telling me to forget it...However, we are so involved in each other that I'm having a hard time tearing away. So used to seeing him every day, that it just seems like the natural thing to be with him. HALP! Thanks, guys.break up or make up

If your spouse did the following would it make you feel unsecure in your marriage? :-registered on an internet dating site and said - after being found out - that they did it just because they were bored one night-created a profile on a popular social networking site but neglected to list their relationship status as married - didn't put "single" either, just didn't put anything-has more than 20 opposite sex "friends" that you have never met or heard of on social networking site-does not receive a cell phone bill at home, employer pays the bill-does not bring a check stub home any longer because the employer has gone "paperless"-does all web-surfing in inprivate or incognito mode - ever since being confronted about the registration on dating site-takes cell phone everywhere - even into the backyard-gets really defensive when their spouse (me) gets upset when they call home from work in the afternoon to say they are going out for drinks that nightThese things put together make me feel insecure in my marriage. My spouse thinks I am paranoid. What do you think? Thanks - I'll appreciate your candor.

He was my first love, my first boyfriend and the first girl i had sex with.. but he left.. i know i shouldnt love him and want her still cos he mentally and physicly abused me.. i cant let her go tho.. when we where dating he always told me i was annoying, and he would ignore me all the time and get mad because i was upset about it. and when i was upset about something he would just get mad. He also cheated and got mad when i got paranoid and coldnt trust him... He called me stupid all the time and made me feel so little..i felt like a dumb little kid.. then when he moved away i hadnt seen him in forever n i missed him, well he ignored me the whole day to be with the girl he liked and when i finally got to see him i tried to hug and kiss him but he kept slapping and punching me... it hurt..not just physically.. he broke up with me later that day for that girl and i still love him... i miss him and i cant let go... idk what to do im so depressed without him...

I have been in a sppot like yours for a few weeks the difference is I was the liar and i was hurting someone. I dont wanan say dumb her and move because thats what I would have said before but now that Im the one needding forgiveness I now realise what this girl may have gone thru or that she may have reasons for lying to you.Its not right but just dont jump to conlusion sit her down and with out being angry tell her that the untruths are not a good thing, tell her stuff about how finding out things from ohter people nhurts you and makes you look dumb dont point fingers and accusation cause she may just become defensive and it defeates the purpose MAke her see things from the other side of the coin. THe hurt and stress shes causeing you so she judges herself from your angle. Good luck.

Sorry if i used the wrong phrase when I said mean instead of Blunt but surely you understood the point i was trying to get acros. I wasnt trying to piss you off or make you angry or make you seem a bad person. I was just saying dont judge me too harsh. What i did was wrong I know it but is the punishment of loosing a chance at happiness surely the only answer. You all say tell him the truth. Would you really tell the truth in my situation. its easy to accuse me of lying but how many of you would honestly tell the truth in my shoes. Im not saying lying is right but come on. We all find it easy to say I wanna know the truth so I react accordingly yet some of us a re too fragile inside to handle half the truth.its so easy to sit there and call me any name under the sun but right now. I am not asking for judgement i was asking for an easirr less hurtfull way out.Yes Relationships are about sharing but they are not entirely about sharing. People don't go into relationships to share but because they think the other person will make them happy. I am making my boyfriend happy. I am the reason he has a smile on his face the reason he gets up and feels good about himself. Should I let him down because I just couldn't keep one lousy secret. Come on people even married couples don't share 100% there are some thing better left in the closet. The question is which things. And While its advisable to tell him the truth would you really want to know that kind of truth maybe a lie of omitting is not as bad as a lie or opposition. The question Anwii mentioned is does my BF deserves I know some things he deserves. eg. happiness, he deserves a chance to be happy, he deserves a human girlfriend who is real not a perfect Barbie who does not exist unless he dates a blow up doll. Im not saying I'm perfect No I have this guilty secret but its one secret and not a whole bunch. I am not perfect I made a mistake OK and Im living tough cause of that. If you think i like taking the easy way out then why oh why do i feel like this inside why is it tearing and eating me up inside. The reason is cause this is not the easy way out. its actually the harder way out. You don't know how it feels to keep freaking out each time we together and he gets a text cause you freaking scared it maybe the doomsday text.As for my friends the ones who gave me advise they are not people I hang out with all the time they are just people from the youth group I go to weekly I did not want my buddies (the close friends) i have to bear the burden of the secret hence I didnt tell them. I chose to speak to a more strangely person who even if they judged me it would not matter. I am not a bad person as you make me out to be when you say Im selfish. There is a difference between selfish and procrastination Right now I am trying to work out the best path to take after a mistake I have not made a decision to hide things forever I am just seeing the pros and cons of telling or not telling. Restraining orders are easily got if you go to the cops but I do not want to do stuff that will involve to many people knowing my business of a first hand can identify me business. I wanted to try every way possible that maintains anonymousity before walking into a police station and filing a report. Though at the current rate I may end up having no choice but to retaliate by involving the long arm of the law. When I spoke about havign sex with ex again to black mail him with video I didnt say i want that it was just a suggestion from a person I knew who I now admit did not give the soundest of advice. But in my shoes in desperation it seemed just an option i could contemplate. I dont make the rules of how many mistakes a person can make in a relationship but sometimes the hardest part is not telling or owning up but the process of regrettting and wonderign whether owning up is the completely right thing to do.

thanks for all the advice. Basically you all advice me to come clean. Which I am petrified of because I don't wanna loose this new man i have. We got a lot going for us and I am petrified to even think of thinking that we wont be together cause I was stupid. I have tried to sort of test the waters by telling my bf about a cousin or friend who was in a situation like this and my boyfriend just wont even hint at being understanding. For instance I said to him my cousins girl cheated on him by mistake and gave him my scenario as the base and asked what his reaction would be if he was my cousin. He was like There is no excuse for cheating your cousin should dump the girl shes no good. Maybe if it was the other way round we'd say guys a re playas and she should be more understanding but a woman cheating is the ultimate betrayal be cause woman are faithful by nature. Thats why in society if a woman goes to her friends crying that he cheated they all react by saying men are like that and she can dump him and move on but if a woman cheats its like armageddon its like what the heck happen for her to cheat it as if it a massive shock to hear a woman cheats yet men cheat with women except the homosexuals of course.This just made me more scared to even start my topic with him. Sometimes the guilt just tears at me so much and I wanna own up and be honest. I just wish I was a guy cause guys can hold secrets. Anwii please don't mean tough on me i effed up and I am really sorry about what I did I know alcohol is not an excuse but truth is I would not have done this if i had be sober there is no way in hell i would have. I just had a nice time which wen too far and I regretted it from the moment i woke up sober. Is there a nice way of breaking it down so my hind doesnt get dumped by my boyfriend. I havent been able to concentrate properly if we watch a movie on dvd which has cheating i well up inside and cripple with fear and anxiety cause I know I am that hoe on the Tv whose cheating but i console myself cause at least i had some sort of excuse no mater how shallow and flimsy it is. Would going to a priest or a church and confessing cleanse my conscience or is the only retribution to confess to my men. I am tempted to go sleep with the ex because I am desperate to keep this under wraps. My ex somehow has managed to get my current boyfriends number and he sent me a text saying he has the number and forwarded the number to me as proof. that all it takes to destroy me is a single text. I have tried to stay away from him and call his bluff before thinking he would back off but now hes actually showing me he has the upper hand because he has the bf's number at hand. Thing is My boyfriend also told me a few days back that that he broke up with his ex cause she did the dirty on him by sleeping with her ex so this just seems de ja vu already. The way he talks about her and the way he cringes when he describes the way she did dirt on him you can tell he genuinely went through a lot of pain and suffering when he found out. But I am not her because I did not do this as fun behind his back I was drunk and intoxicated I wasnt thinking straight. I sear if I had been sober there would be no chance what so ever that i would be writting this story because it would never have happened. I dont wanan break his heart, I dont wana loose his love. He is so sweat and loving and I want to be his wife one day. God knows the anguish I am because of this. I hate the ex for wanting to take my happiness away. Maybe he wasnt drunk he was using tactic to get me in bed so he could black male me. I realise now the magic of the night we shared drunk is not worth the loss i may suffer. Guys help me. I need a way to cut this brat off for good so he leaves me alone and stops harassing me for sex. I spoke to a another girl from youth group hypothetically and she said if she was in the hypothetical situation she would sleep with the ex but tell him she wanted ruff sex role play and then record it on a mobile fone hidden in the room then blackmail him to expose him as a rapist if he ever tried to black mail her again. This is tempting but i dont know how to doctor videos so im bummed here. Grrrrrrrrrrr

Hey guys i have a bit of a problem in my life i don’t know if u guys can help me by giving me advice on what to do. I have an ex boyfriend who is giving me problems, i broke up with him about 6 months ago and now i m dating someone else who i have fallen inlove with. The problem now is that i kinda went out to a club with my friends and we got drunk and it so happen that the guy was there at the club. He came on to me dancing with me and all and then after that he told me that he is still in love with me and he spoke of the good times we had together, were we used to go and people we used to see and hang out with. For sure we used to have a great time, one thing lead to another and then i ended up at his house. The night was magical we had a great night but to be honest i wasn’t thinking straight i think it’s because of the alcohol. The night passed and in the morning i regretted it, i hated myself for behaving so stupidly and then i said to him we have to talk because he was all happy making me breakfast in bed thinking that we are back together but i had to tell him that i don’t want to be with him we broke up and everything that happened was a mistake. I had to leave his house as soon as possible, to be honest he wasn’t happy at all because he thinks that i have used him which i don’t think i did we had too many to drink and we were both not thinking normally.Now he is threatening to tell my current boyfriend about it all if i don’t agree to sleep with him. He has been blackmailing me since now i don’t know what to do because he said i should meet him and we have the night like we had before. What i did was not right but at the same time i don’t want to tell my boyfriend because i know it hurt him. He loves me to bit and he will do anything i mean anything for me. He introduced me to his family and they adore me they all think i m a good person but right now i don’t feel like a good person at all. I love my man and i don’t want this to come out because if this comes out i m scared my man will leave me and i don’t want that to happen. Should i sleep with this guy to keep things like it is now or shall i just tell my boyfriend and then risk him dumping me. I know i did wrong and i know i shouldn’t have got that drunk to lose my mind. I hate my ex for this and i hated him after we broke up because he slept with my best friend whih is why we are not together anymore. He destroyed my friendship and now he wants to destroy my relationship. It looks like he doesn’t want to see me happy at all. I don’t know what to do with this guy, everytime i think he is out of my life he pops up again. I just wish he could just stay out of my life. I don’t want him and i don’t want to me with him anymore i hate his gutts

there's a very fine line between being a friend and a vulture in this case cause right now your friend is just coming out of a relationship where she has been rejected and yes the normal thing would be to show her that she is not a reject but that there is someone out there (in this case you) who thinks the world of her and would not treat her like the way this other guy has. While it is a noble and chivalrious act you need to look at things from her angle for abit. I as a girl have friends who fall in this category too. They have been my best friends and I love them to bits as a friend not as a lover. Then when I break up with a cheating sleeze bag of a Boyfrined I once had and guess what they were good at being there for me when i struggled with my break up but I know that one of them had a crush on me from previously and has in the past told me of how he felt and I had told him it was sweet and cute and that I did have a tingle of a feeling towards him aswellbut because I was in a relationship I could not go down that route unless one day things didnt work out with the now ex then we both had to hold back. After the break up with the ex my friend was there and I already knew how he felt but thing is I didnt wanna be told how I can be in a beter relationship with someone else I wanted to be told how I was a good person and how my ex was a fool and how he regretted or would regret that move of breakup or not begging me to come back. I wanted to hear about how he was heart broken and generally not able to live without me. You see sometimes for a girl its not about how much better we can do or how we can get the next hunk or how we are hot property and every guy in the world thinkjs we are angels or wants a piece of my a*s. (this is not a 100% survey but a general survey based on most of the girls I have interacted with when it comes to how we feel about breakups. Usually if the realtionship ends because we were cheated on or dumped, we struggle to cope with being rejected we wonder why he chose her over me whats betteer about her that I dont have. things like thiat lol We are vein like that hope i have not told too much of girl secrets here lol) But we wannt to be told how he has realised that he made a foolish move and that after alll we were better than the new girl and that he is suffering and regretting his move and if possible that he will come and beg us even though we will say no because we want to be the ones doing the rejection not the ones being rejected.For a while we want to just hear the gnashing of his teeth and the pain of his regretting the move even if it a just a visual by proxy or a hint of this. We need to know he has suffered the consequence hopefully hearing that she has in turn dumped him and made him doubley miserable. Once w ehave passed this phase we are happy and ready for a new relationship. Please note chance are this will never happen but then it helps us cope to even begin to think or want this to happen to the mean bastard for leaving when we were completely in love and leaving us heart broken and sore. Now I know it must be tricky for a guy to watch for that moment when I am finally over the past boyfriend and ready to make new commitment with new guy. And the point where you hear that Kevin a total random guy whom I met on the bus has asked me out and I agreed. but the thing is not to over crowd the girl. She knows you want her and right now the thing you can do is see things her way even temporarily. Side with her on the evilness of past BF and how you wish a lion would swallow his weaner when next goes to the Zoo and all that a nd then back away for a couple of days. This gives a girl room to see what a nice bloke you are and she sees you as someone who understands her more than everyone else. It also makes us think of you cause you not there in my face all the time. This helps me want to see you soon and hopefully before you know it I'll be calling your phone and chatting about the color of snow. (hint Hint - im done worying bout ex. Ask me out for a drink or dinner or a Movie.) Now most guys at this point will take this as chance to say I wanna be your boyfriend but i found its awkward to hear a friend say that so take me for that date and make it count. Then make it turn out romantic and all you know guys you know how to twist things slowly so we both end up on my doorstep kissing and next thing Im at home laying in bed thinking wow I really like him. Obviously I wont tell you this (mr future boyfriend) but you will know cause probably you will excited two when you leaving my doorstep after the snog lol. At this point you have to catch things before anyone else does. Like sneak me to your place obviously under false pretences like do you wanna come watch a movie DVD or somethign you know I will come to your place for and stay for more than just a few minutes. That way we can get comfy and thigs will go to second or maybe even third base. Obvious;y by then you will know your in. You can now say thinks like i wanna be more than just friends and i hope this is not just a one night stand. If I spoon feed you more stuff you wont be able to continue after my directives s so at this point this is where you add your own touch and dothings your way. GoodLuck.

As you mentioned, in your statement, she has three kids and that the bit that you should realise. Its not that she if still banging another guy but she is evaluating your intensions. For starter girls are different from boys in their maternal instinct. When A girl has a kid the whole dating scene changes. We stop thinking just about ouselves but also the future of our children. Many guys dont get the, they still see us in the same eyes as they would a single girl with no responsibility. Let me explain further. If a girl has no kids shes cool and you kick it as you called it. Everythings is cool cause if she spent the night over at your house there is no child who will be sleeping with out mommy as a result. That girl is a free agent she can bang a thousand guys and that all fine. Yes people will call her dirty names but they wont really care.Now when you have kids the ball game is the same but the rules are different. If you all kick it and she spends the night it means her kids spent the night alone and had no one to cook breakfast and maybe even dinner. This time if people call her dirty names for banging a thousand men and leaving the kids alone at home, the cops and social services will get involved. Now forget social services and also look at this. One thing I have noticed in many single moms is that they also judge your character as a father figure to their children. Its easy to come and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, kiss my neck and turn me on but the thing is what role model are you to the kids that see you. when I say the kids I mean the kids I have. Do you have time for them. If things got a littl serious between us wouldyou help me raise them for the better or would you be child number 4 and be more bad influence to the children. Now im not saying replace their dad Im saying the way to that womans heart is no longer through her pant but through the happiness of her children. If you are kids person by this i mean you have a people person who is good with people and hence a kids person we will assume in this thread is someone good with kids. If you are a kids person, then thats going to make things a whole lot easier cause I'd tell you to give a little more attention to her kids. Dont jump from zero to a hundred in one go but start to spend time and build a relationship with her kids. Get the kids to like and appreciate you and help them with things like homework or reading depending on their age or take them to the park without her. Show her you wannt to be a part of her life not just try and get into her panties. You do that and she will start to visualise a future with you as part of her family. Every mother wants a happy familiy and if her kids are happy then she will be happy with you. and trust me she will open up like a lock when you turn the key.Now I dont know what your intentions are whether you just wanna play her and get back at her cousin or what but bear in mind that this woman has children and when you get into a relationship with her its a relationship with her children too. If they are going to see you wake up in the morning coming from mama'a bedroom then they will know mommy is in love kids are not stupid. But also if this a game to you remeber you are teaching those kids that its okay for grown ups to change lovers especially if they go through life seeing different men come out from mommy's bedroom every few months. You have to be responsible either you are in it for the long haul or just stay off women with kids cause when you break up with her after that you are breaking up with the kids too. For them its another daddy that has rejected them. So by the time they grow up they think I had 5 daddys and they all left us. Its a whole complicated life once kids are involved. So becareful as you tread on this one. Rememeber the only reason she doesnt wanna kiss you on the lips is because for most girls a kiss is deeper than sex. We find a kiss is more intimate than sex. So once we start kissing you we already want more than just a kiss. Its okay you turn us on cause that feels good and to be desired makes us feel alive and valid but its another thing letting you take everything we can ever give like sex and love. So think about that next time you see that girl.Ask yourself if you wanna date her and the kids and not just so you shag her but for the sake of having a family with three kids from the onset of the realtionship. The question should be are you ready to be a father.To answer you i doubt its a test or a game but just the fact that you dated and almost married her cousin will get the family talking and trust me its ok if they talk and you guys a re having a great relationship and get married and have a good future cause then you can say it was meant to be. But if you shag her and leave she will be judged by her family as the girl who stole her cousins boyfriend and destroyed her cousins future. So hence why she may be a little more carefull about it all

when I first read your post a while back i was convinced this girl really liked you and now after a while i came back read the additional posts and am still convinced from what you have said and what responses have been said there is a higher chance of her liking you not. Girls can be complex at times yes but this is an open and shut case. The girllikes you a lot. Its obvious from how you guys spend time together chatting on line the things you say she tells you that she would not tell her bff. The intimacy of your discussions when you online together, how she asks after you when she has not seem you for a while. It all adds up to a girl who really likes you. I am a girl and for me to do all that it would mean I really like the person. I mean if i didnt like that person or in this case if this girl didnt like you and thought of you as an idiot she would take the chance to be away from you as bliss i mean why go looking for someone you know is only going to upset you. If you said she tells you she was looking for you we can or could have said she is just being nice when you come on line but not necessarily liking you. But then because she asks your friends she must genuinely be thinking of you. So FACT this girl does like you. But then she also likes cats and dogs and probably ice cream. THere is a chance that you have become this close knit friend with her were you think she is telling you things she would nevevr tell her bff but you dont realise that maybe you are her new best friend. Sometimes we become close and attached to people who come into our lives and we inevitably build a good strong friendshio with them without ever realising that we have built a good friendship. She trusts you a lot because you have not given her any reason to doubt you and so at the moment you are the person she can tell all her silly stupid stuff which isf her other girl friends found out they may make fun and tease her about or chastize her about. There is a very fine line between love and friendship and its so easy to confuse the feelings especially with a friend of the opposite sex and based on how you two have been friends for this long I bet you anything you would be better of staying friends than going down the relationship, love and sex route. You have a real good thing going her and though at times you may and will both feel sexual attraction to one another, i suggest if anything happens let it happen under friendship banner because lover complicates everything. Suddenly you will want rights to her life which you never had before but suddenly feel justified to have and this will just make her want time apart as some song said every lover needs a time away from each other. But if you were good friends and she told you all this stuff you'd expect more stuff from a lover and at your age its easy to confuse love and sharing with love and infringement of privacy. While the fact still stands this girls likes you a lot I am nolonger sure a year down the line is adequate passage of time to still wanna persue a sexual attraction relationship because clearly as you may already know, you friendship is just tooo deep. You all are better off staying friends or becoming what they call these days friends with benefits that way you get the best of both worlds. Not that I would recommend this to anyone but I know that even though i may not approve of such friendship with benefits I am not the one making life's rule and they say never say never because i may find me in the friends with benefits boat one day. Good Luck. It would be nice if you come back and tell us what you decided to do in the end whether you eventually became lovers or just carried on as friends. It would be nice to know if the relationship on line is still going strong or has it fizzled out and you have found a new online partner to "date" and i use that term loosely.