6 Valuable Advices To Loose Weight How to loose weight very quick

[nirvaman 1]

Hi to allI will give you some advices to lose some weight , or all the weight , it depends on how serious are you going to take this advices ;)You must know that those advices have nothing to do with science , it's from my own experience so it's tested and a 100% guarantee!1: Weight is about eating a lot , and the best way to loose appetit is by "Smoking" , yes smoking cigarets will cut your appetite , especially if the cigarets are of a bad quality , and bad taste , this will double the effect.2: Work at launch and diner time , make extra work hours , so that you will not have time even to eat.3: Mary an ugly woman , and let her cook for you , then eat togheter , yes she will cut your appetite , especially if she start screaming at your face.4: Work and live in the Algerian desert , under a temperature of about 120 F? ,this will burn the fats very quickly.5: Think about anything that stress you , exams ,relationships , maths problems . Php coding will be a good point to start from "especially session() "6: Eat at very dirty restaurants , this will cause you food poisoning , or drink public water , and you may have the thyphoide fever and loose weight very quickly. PS: don't combine all this valuable advices at once , or you will vanish ;)I know a joke about someone who was very thin , and wanted to gain some weight , so he wented to see the doctor , and he advised him to stop smoking.Ok , after some months he became very fat , and returned to see the doctor to lose some weight , and the doctor advised him to start smoking again ;)It's all about smoking

[Iniyila 2]

hmm first suggestion is a little weird because you have suggested to smoke so maybe you can loose wait by smoking but you have hurt yourself a lot more than easily just not eating and also there are many fat people around me that smoking a lot and it has no effect on their appetite and they even smoke during eating, i don't suggest but another way of loosing weight is to kill your self and soon after one or two month you will see that my advice is very effective and you will get thin and soon after some years you will become nothing than some dust which as you see is the best way for loosing weight up to your complete weight .Actually i have read sleeping is more effective way if you don't want to eat so by sleeping soon you can forget dinner and so you have reduced your eating in a day but i think working will make you more hungry than making you forgetting to eat, eating is like breathing and with working i don't think you can forget it. Yes !! marrying a women whom you hate will reduce your weight a lot and if she didn't cook anything and get all of your money then probably you will find nothing to eat and soon you will start loosing weight but at the same time you will start to loosing your mind and getting crazy too but as you know every cure has a side effect and ruining your life is side effect of this cure , and never marry a good women i can see all peoples around me who married a good woman are getting fatter every day so if you care about your fitness never marry a good woman other wise you may get fat but as a side effect you will be so happy from yourself even if you get fat .Beside working in a desert you can also try to wear as much as you can so you will increase speed of the procedure but as i was trying to see if this tip is working or not i found there is no company in Algerian desert for working in it so it is a complete nice idea, first you can build a company in that desert and then you can employ peoples there with the advertisements saying beside working you will loose weight and so you can make money and loose weight at the same time.Thinking about stresses is nice but also you can go to more stressful places, just like when you see there is an armed thief go in that place so you will increase your stress and you will loose weight. The last advice is not working for all peoples because there are many fat peoples eating in dirty restaurants and even they get fatter, it seems their bodies like that poisons and they have no problem with it, but maybe eating some fresh foods will help them loosing weight because their bodies hate healthy food and so they will not enjoy their meal and they will loose weight.another advice that i suggest is traveling to japan, this will only help those who hate sea foods and also chopesticks, their foods are really small and first time i went there i think the food that they brought for me is just a desert but it was the main food so i really suggest you to go there and you will find nothing to eat and eating will get even harder when you try to eat with those chopesticks which takes you some hours to eat your little lunch completely.

[mahesh2k 0]

Sounds like bad advice to loose weight. I mean think about stress ? you know what, stress kills many people instantly than weight>kidney>liver formula. So with or without weight never take mental stress. Cigarette ?Marry a good or bad women ? again very bad joke. My brother stayed awake whole week and only took 15-26 hours sleep after that and with lots of stress,alcohol and work pressure he lost control of his mind. This leads to his suicide incident last month. So whatever you advice someone else never pass such bad advice of stress, women and alcohol. I mean never. I don't bother about cleaning up this forum anymore so not gonna report mods about this satire and bad health advice. But atleast will ask OP to add note at the bottom that these ways are 'PUN' and 'fun' and contains no 'serious' advice.

[Parubilla 0]

Hi to allI will give you some advices to lose some weight , or all the weight , it depends on how serious are you going to take this advices
You must know that those advices have nothing to do with science , it's from my own experience so it's tested and a 100% guarantee!

1: Weight is about eating a lot , and the best way to loose appetit is by "Smoking" , yes smoking cigarets will cut your appetite , especially if the cigarets are of a bad quality , and bad taste , this will double the effect.

2: Work at launch and diner time , make extra work hours , so that you will not have time even to eat.

3: Mary an ugly woman , and let her cook for you , then eat togheter , yes she will cut your appetite , especially if she start screaming at your face.

4: Work and live in the Algerian desert , under a temperature of about 120 F° ,this will burn the fats very quickly.

5: Think about anything that stress you , exams ,relationships , maths problems . Php coding will be a good point to start from "especially session() "

6: Eat at very dirty restaurants , this will cause you food poisoning , or drink public water , and you may have the thyphoide fever and loose weight very quickly.

PS: don't combine all this valuable advices at once , or you will vanish

I know a joke about someone who was very thin , and wanted to gain some weight , so he wented to see the doctor , and he advised him to stop smoking.
Ok , after some months he became very fat , and returned to see the doctor to lose some weight , and the doctor advised him to start smoking again
It's all about smoking

Oh my gosh are you serious about this advices?, like smocking for example yes it would make you thinner but, then it´s going to make you even uglier, because your teeth are going to be horrible, your breath, your clothes, no matter how much perfume you use the smell never goes away, the hair, like c´mon there are so many good reasons to not start smocking.

You shuld never skip your meals, first of all it would make you hungrier later and you will probably eat double, which actually is going to make you gain more weight.

Who would like to marry someone you don´t even like, no matter if it´s unfortunate looking or really pretty, I think the most important thing when you are with someone is if you feel attracted to that person or not.

Dirty restaurants that is just disgusting.

I am thinking that you wrote all this as a joke, and no one is going to actually follow those advices but who knows just in case good advises to lose weight: (Or I think that are good, hopefully they are )

1. Theres no easy magical diet.
2. You have to eat healthy, and if this does not work for you then you should so to the doctor to see if you are gaining weight for other reasons.
3. Exercise, always exercise, it is the most difficult thing to do, specially to start but once you get into the routine you will see the results. A good idea is always to find a gym buddy at least you will not be alone exercising.

[web_designer 7]

nirvaman, you should title your thread as"6 Valuable Advices To Lose your life" :Dso are you intending to kill the members here, or the rest of them hahaa now seriously, i found your advices funny, and real at the same time. because smoking is really prevents people from eating, but instead of killing yourself from smoking you can only drink a cup of coffee in the morning. it is better than smoking and will do the same as smoking or maybe less but it does avoids you from eating a lot.and, marrying an ugly woman!!! oh really for the god sake. you should marry who you like and admire, and to love everything she does to you not ruining your life :)and, thinking about stressing things or unpleasant things while you are eating will gives you an indigestion, and will makes you suffer from it and gain weight. especially if you though of PHP .finally, eating in dirty restaurants will kill you absolutely or at least will makes you stay in bed for days.but i agree with you at working extra hours to burn some extra calories, you can walk after dinner do do some cleaning here and there. and about working in the desert, i know people who work hard in a hot weather are losing weight more than working in a cold office.and between, according to your thread here, you are a smoker guy, working in a desert, eating bad food, stress your self, struggling with php and marring un ugly woman who screams a lot at him is that true??

Edited February 2, 2011 by web_designer (see edit history)

[nirvaman 1]

Beside working in a desert you can also try to wear as much as you can so you will increase speed of the procedure but as i was trying to see if this tip is working or not i found there is no company in Algerian desert for working in it so it is a complete nice idea, first you can build a company in that desert and then you can employ peoples there with the advertisements saying beside working you will loose weight and so you can make money and loose weight at the same time.

There is more then 200 companies of about more then a 100 nationalutues working in the Algerian desert

But atleast will ask OP to add note at the bottom that these ways are 'PUN' and 'fun' and contains no 'serious' advice.

Yes @Mahes2k ; i thought all members will know it was not a real advice but just for fun "Actually i've done it myself...."
Thank you for all for reposting, and sorry if i offensed someone with my bad joke , and @ Parubilla ; i have yellow tooth , but i've seen worst....
And yes @webdesigner , i'm smooking since the age of 13 "i'm 27 years old now" ,and working in the Algerian desert ,eating bad food "yep the catering company that serves us is a **it" , stressed all the time , struggling with PHP code , and unfortunatelly i'm not married yet .

[web_designer 7]

And yes @webdesigner , i'm smooking since the age of 13 "i'm 27 years old now" ,and working in the Algerian desert ,eating bad food "yep the catering company that serves us is a **it" , stressed all the time , struggling with PHP code , and unfortunatelly i'm not married yet .

well, in your case it is fortunately that you are not married . because you are on your way to kill yourself. and dealing with php is not the right choice i think, because php may kill you .

i was kidding there but i really hope you could find a way to live better. so finally you will get a chance to meet a young nice and sweet lady and share her your life and eat more and get fat .

between, your advices were so funny that i kept laughing on them for a while thanks for taking a time of your life to put a smile on our face.

[sheepdog 10]

Wow, what great advise! I actually like a bunch of these and I think they would really work. Especially sage advise is the one about marrying an ugly woman. Songs have been written especially about this one, if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so there has to be something too this one, it just never occured to me to think about your idea of using it as a weight loss trick. Smart thinking!And after over a week of snow and blizzard weather, the Algerian desert doesn't really sound all that bad. But maybe I will take a pass on that one. Our favorite local restuarant isn't too dirty, but I do keep a watchful eye on their back door to make sure there isn't a pile of cat hides out back.(our nickname for the place is Cashew Kitty.)Thanks for all the great tips, I think weight loss this spring may be a breeze!

[Quatrux 4]

In fact those advices gave me quite a big laugh, especially the third one :DI understood those advices as some kind of sense of humor, but I liked it, some of those advices are quite "true" as it's been told :PI could add a real advice, going to the bathhouse or maybe it's called sauna in English, which is quite healthy, it's good to sweat and have some exercise too, like jogging.