Jealousy Problems?

[wonderfullygifted 0]

Me and my girlfriend, (this is a new girlfriend i've just been dating since v-day ^-^ ) we've been having some problems where like.. I'm always jealous about things, and she's jealous and well other PUBLIC people don't make it sound better when other pretty girls are around, like I'll say, "you have nice eyes" to some girl and my girlfriend will think I'm flirting with her or something.. which I'm NOT. Just I really am fond of green eyes. And she'll always bring this girl up, like I try to explain to her that i'm into her and ONLY her, but she's always switching and reversing it. She's NOT that bad, she'll just randomly be like "i'm not your dream girl _____ is." sometimes, and she'll frown and stuff.Which makes me kind of sad, cause she's really awesome you know.. and well you can't find someone better than her, cause she actually cares and stuff which is getting me really paranoid that maybe I'm not treating her right coz.. my other problem is when I get mad I get VEEERY jealous, and my jealousy ends up me ignoring her texts, e-mails, real life, and just finding something else to do.. and I don't want her to get lonely, like I get kind of jealous that guys call her pretty, and I kind of don't trust her as much as I want to.. coz we've only been dating for like 4 days, but i've known her for yeaaaaaars. like at least 2, not much but we've never faught it's like a brand new thing that we're dating now.I just want to treat her right and show her I care about her.And kind of get rid of this jealous people say I don't treat her right, cause I get mad.. but when she gets mad they blame it on me.. it's so confusing.

[anwiii 17]

yea ummm, don't give other women compliments....ESPECIALLY around your girl. that IS flirting and you could be leading people on even if you think you're not. i can see why your girl is getting upset. so don't do it. you know it upsets her and if you care about her, you wouldn't do things like that that upset her.as far as other guys flirting with her, you have no control over that. neither does she so don't blame her for your jealousyjealousy is evil evil evil! you people need to respect the one they are with and understand that if there is no trust, there is no relationship....at least not a good one. all you can do is work on your own jealousy. i wouldn't suggest trying to change anyone. if you think you need to or want to, then you are really with the wrong person.as far as ignoring her, DON'T. please don't. she deserves better than that probably and you are in control of your own choices to treat her better than ignoring her. a lot of women are sensitive too so when they get hurt, it will just compound. that's when the *BLEEP*ing starts and that's when you ignore her even more. women will usually voice their problem. men usually hide them. when your girl voices hers, pay attention and listen to her and don't take things personal. she's with you for a reason. don't ever forget that.

[wonderfullygifted 0]

Yeah, but.. so if I don't ignore her what am I suppose to do?It's REALLY obvious when i'm mad, like i'll say short sentence, like "oh" or "okay whatever"..and i won't go near her. Like, I have a really bad jealous, it's hard to work around it when it's as bad as what I got

[legend112 0]

You need to give your girlfriend a bit of space and learn to trust her mate.I was like that too, a couple of weeks ago but I have changed. I used to be so jealous whenever my girlfriend would say she was hanging out with so and so, I'd so enraged i'd just be quiet. Your girlfriend is yours and she will not leave you, unless if you don't trust her, if so...then why are you dating her? Just tell her she can do whatever she likes and you love her very much, and realise you're not perfect for her but you try your best. and show it in your character.Don't just speak like someone stupid and especially when you know your girlfriend will find it offensive or not nice, keep such thoughts to yourself like we all men do. We see beauty everywhere but when we're with our ladies, they deserve the best from us so we are on our best behaviour. if you like green eyes so much that you can't control it, then find someone with green eyes. If my girlfriend did the same more than twice, i'd ditch her on the spot. Your girlfriend is very understanding to even tell you that. Be a man and respect her please.Good luck.

[anwiii 17]

try this. when you are mad and upset, tell her you need your space at the moment and will call her later. later, try to explain to her why you are upset without being upset telling her. the time away will help you prepare. this way, she can respect your space and she wont feel you are ignoring her as much. if your own problems lie with jealousy though, you REALLY need to get them under control. they will break up relationships faster than a speeding bullet. it will create untrust and critical words that may not be founded. for you, it also creates a lot of distance which is bad too. jealousy is NOT a good thing and never will be.

so not only now do you need to find some way to control the jealosy, you need to somehow find a way to control the anger that will lead to destruction. take a long walk when you are upset, or music you like to listen to. excersizing furing that time is good too. you need to find something that works for you. at the same time, REALLY work on this jealosy issue.

like i said, if you get jealous, it's going to RUIN your relationship. TRUST ME on this one. yea, it hard and tough. sure you want to trust your woman, but does she deserve to be locked indoors all day so other guys don't get to see her just to satisfy your own needs and jealousy. do you know where your jealous comes from? i do. you need to figure out what makes you jealous. i'll give you a hint. it has NOTHING to do with her or how others hit on her. that's surfacy b.s. which is an easy excuse so we can avoid our own problems. figure it out soon. or it may be that you aren't even ready to be in a relationship because part a big part of a relationship is trust. NOT insecurities

Yeah, but.. so if I don't ignore her what am I suppose to do?It's REALLY obvious when i'm mad, like i'll say short sentence, like "oh" or "okay whatever"..
and i won't go near her. Like, I have a really bad jealous, it's hard to work around it when it's as bad as what I got

[wonderfullygifted 0]

I try to explain why i'm upset without being upset.. but it's so hard coz i'm actually upset then when i bring it up she's just like mean to me or she gets mad and i don't get mad it's really hard to work this thing out with this girl.

[Spyda 0]

Jealousy is just one of those things... it's good and bad. It's good because it helps you realize things you may have never realized before. For example, a lot of people don't know how much they love somebody until they see that person with somebody else. I guess that could be considered good and bad in many ways. It's bad because it makes you do things you would otherwise never do. In your case, realize why you are having these jealous feelings. Is it because you truly love this girl that much or is it because you fear losing her?

[anwiii 17]

jealousy can be an insecurity issue and/or a control issue as well. for the most part is is an insecurity issue and if you can't control the jealousy, it becomes a control issue eventually because jealousy will dictate what the other person can and cannot do. jealousy eventually destroys relationships. i do agree that it can be a good thing if you are able to control it since you do realize mroe about yourself. that is always a good thing. if people can look in the mirror and not like what they see though, they need to change that part of them. not the other person. if they do like what they see....jealousy and all, it's up for the other person to either accept who they are, or get out quick.

jealously is a weird thing. some women like to see their man jealous. they will also do little things that might trigger it because it does show them the love the guy has for them. some women hate it and just don't want to be around someone who can potentially be controlled by jealousy. i don't blame them because it would prohibit being who they are. if they are social, they would have to become less social or always watch where they step? that's not a good thing.

but this dude doesn't have a clue in who he even wants to be with. he started another thread somewhere else now. it's clear he can't even commit to a relationship. but my advice in THIS thread would try to explain the jealousy in a way to not make it sound like it's the girls fault and explain that he understands that it's an ugly quality and is something he wants to try to change about himself. if she's commited to him and loves him, she will at least understand and be a little more patient without thinking SHE is the one doing something wrong.

In your case, realize why you are having these jealous feelings. Is it because you truly love this girl that much or is it because you fear losing her?

[gisellebebegirl 0]

Rule number one, do not DO NOT, EVEN STARE AT OTHER GIRLS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER, when you are with your girlfriend it should be about HER and only HER, forget any other female exist in the world, and make her feel like she is the only girl in your eyesi would be mad if i was your girlfriend too, haha to be honest the girlfriend completely describes me, but yeah, just make her feel good, tell her shes pretty, how she is the only girl for you etc, and that should work romeo

[anwiii 17]

that is very sound advice. and it's from a woman's perspective too. but this really doesn't have anything to do with his jealousy and how upset he gets. so i am curious what a woman's perspective is on THAT....

Rule number one, do not DO NOT, EVEN STARE AT OTHER GIRLS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER, when you are with your girlfriend it should be about HER and only HER, forget any other female exist in the world, and make her feel like she is the only girl in your eyes
i would be mad if i was your girlfriend too, haha to be honest the girlfriend completely describes me,

but yeah, just make her feel good, tell her shes pretty, how she is the only girl for you etc, and that should work romeo