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What To Do With A Smart 5 Year Old?

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My 5 year old daughter, well she is going to be 5 in 2 weeks, is exceptionally smart. Right now I feel that she is being penalized just because of her age. I cannot enroll her into public schools yet because they say she is way to young, however, she has alreayd passed first grade entrance exams. I have her in a preschool/kindergarten, however she is truely board in there because all of the things they are learning she already knows. Her social level is well above those of her classmates as well, so I feel that she is not getting the social interaction that she needs to expand her mind. I have no clue what to do as I do not want to hinder her. Any ideas?

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Your daughter is truly a gifted child. Very few are born with such accelerating abilities which I would call otherwise. I too have seen some parents who have smart children. One such case the child was so good academically that he was promoted directly to 8th grade from 6th. They got such permission from concerned authorities. But what I think, skipping grades is not a wise thing to do. The child would grow in a somewhat different environment which would affect his/her life in the future.If I had such a gifted child, I would never do such a thing. Instead I would ask what he/she likes and give the child all the coaching and support. Anybody would be bored if he is comfortable and knows what he is given to learn. Childrens are very eager to learn new things. What such a child wants is more and more knowledge and resources to learn. It wouldn't necessarily come through academic qualification. Giving him exposure to sports and other extra curricular activities which stimulates mind would help to quench the thirst for learning more.?Another thing what I have observed is, a gifted child who always outperforms and has exceptionaly great skills tend to become normal when he grows.

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I really like what pasten had to say about this subject. My son is nine and gifted. I challenge him at every corner. Right now he is learning the basics of HTML. He loves video games so I have taught him how to take screen shots of things he likes and make little web pages about them. I wouldn't dream of letting him advance any grades because I think it is important to stay with his peers. To me being social adjusted is more important than academically advanced. He has learned to help his peers out with their work rather than hold it against them that they don't learn as fast as he does. He has an older step brother who is always lording it over him that his knows more than he does. So this was a hard hurdle for us to overcome. I watch him and coach him whenever I can. It is nice to see him being nice to people. And to me that is what counts. He seems to be a leader by example, not by force.

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I definitely agree with you both. I have tried to nurture her talents from the very beginning but at some point she needs to learn to become social otherwise I feel she will have difficulty making friends in the future. And she wants that interaction with older kids as well. You should see her, when we go to the park she doesnt run up to the kids in her age group plaing in the sandbox and on the slides, she immediately heads for the 7 and 8 year olds playing on the rock climbing wall. And it is amazing that they connect with her as well. I just wish she was able to get that out of school. I think you both would agree that when it comes to social interaction that there is only so much a parent can do before you have to go out and let you child be the social one.You have given me several ideas though. I am going to look into some local extra-cirricular activities for her such as karate or something of that nature where she can interact with other children who may be slightly older than her. That might give her the attention that she is craving that I am unable to give her. Thank you very much for your thoughts, ideas and input.

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Congratulations!!!If she is that smart, you might want to get some good, and probably expensive education for her. When people have a gift, they should use it the right way. But still, she is five, and learning that much is difficult even for teenagers. The best way to make her stay smart and active is probably by getting her to solve logical 'math' problems(like an intelligence test). Smart(intelligent) people do not need information to figure something out or just to give the best ideas.

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Unfortunately, the problem with expensive education is that it truly is waayy to expensive, even on my middle class income. Did you know the average cost for a year of private schooling in las vegas can run anywhere from 20,000 to 50,000 per year, and even then does that guarantee her a better education than she would get in a public schooling environment. I mean, I went through public schools and graduated at the top of my class.

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I definitely agree with you both. I have tried to nurture her talents from the very beginning but at some point she needs to learn to become social otherwise I feel she will have difficulty making friends in the future. And she wants that interaction with older kids as well. You should see her, when we go to the park she doesnt run up to the kids in her age group plaing in the sandbox and on the slides, she immediately heads for the 7 and 8 year olds playing on the rock climbing wall. And it is amazing that they connect with her as well. I just wish she was able to get that out of school. I think you both would agree that when it comes to social interaction that there is only so much a parent can do before you have to go out and let you child be the social one.
You have given me several ideas though. I am going to look into some local extra-cirricular activities for her such as karate or something of that nature where she can interact with other children who may be slightly older than her. That might give her the attention that she is craving that I am unable to give her. Thank you very much for your thoughts, ideas and input.


For real the best way to maintain and nurture her talents is by giving her stiff competition in this case people older than her. There is no reason why she should be forced to interact with people of her own age if she is too smart for them!

This reminds me of my own childhood. I was very smart ..well still am!..that i skipped a couple of grades and set the bar pretty high for myself!! lol!

Now i am kind of relaxed and people think i am no longer good even though I still score high in my tests and do pretty well in business! You have to make sure she does not get over herself as i feel that is something that made me chill a bit and now i am not perfoming at my peak!

Thank God to have such a blessed kid!

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What you can do is... ask schools if they do accelerate their "too intelligent" students to the next level if proven really intelligent. If there are such schools in your area, then you can wait until she's on the schooling age. After her first year on school, she would be accelerated on the next next level.

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Dot points, because I can.

> I am 15 years old and in university
> I went to public schools
> My closest friends are from high school, and I still talk to some primary school friends
> I would hate being grouped with people at a significantly lower academic standard (and maturity)
> Look into extra-curricular activities and programs for talented children (the 'head-fake'?)
> Find what interests your child and help her learn it
> Don't hold her back - if you can't get her into school early, see if you can have her skip from the first grade to the second some weeks into first grade.

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Smart child usually learn thing very fast, GOOD or BAD.It is important to nurture her with good thinking and physical & spiritual.A smart person who apply his / her knowledge in good way to help the mankind.A smart person who apply his / her knowledge in evil way will destroy the mankind.This is my 5 cents thought.Dweck is a professor of psychology and the author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” She’s spent decades studying why some people thrive in school and in life and others don’t. Her conclusion: It takes more than just smarts to get ahead. Dweck said that children who are constantly told how smart they are often fall flat when they encounter challenges at school. This is particularly true as children enter middle and high school and the competition becomes more intense.

Edited by sedna888 (see edit history)

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only one thing you can do right now is home school. when after first grade, try to skip the child a couple grades in to third. that would be a start. at least you know your child is smart. not a lot of parents will recognize the traits of their own children. alot of smart children who don't get recognized will start failing classes. they wont do the work or the tests. everything will be boring to them. they want to be pushed and feel they are being held back so it's IMPORTANT not to hold the child back. even now. you should be home schooling. after skipping a couple grades, closely monitor the child. if the child is doing the work and getting good grades, you might try bumping the child up again one or two more grades.keep this child busy busy busy....but don't force it on the child. one of the drawbacks at having a genious child is the child wont grow up with his friends. he just wont have a normal childhood compared to other children.....but what is normal anyway? just remember not to go light on the child. love, nourture and dicipline the child and set rules and guidlines like you would any other child.

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Congrats for such a gifted baby girl!I agree with anwii... Home school is your best choice for now. And you have to choose the best school for her in the future, you have to keep in mind that having a child so smart like yours is such a big responsability, and their possibilities to success are directly proportional with the proper attention you give to them.

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Your daughter is truly a gifted child. Very few are born with such accelerating abilities which I would call otherwise. I too have seen some parents who have smart children. One such case the child was so good academically that he was promoted directly to 8th grade from 6th. They got such permission from concerned authorities. But what I think, skipping grades is not a wise thing to do. The child would grow in a somewhat different environment which would affect his/her life in the future.
If I had such a gifted child, I would never do such a thing. Instead I would ask what he/she likes and give the child all the coaching and support. Anybody would be bored if he is comfortable and knows what he is given to learn. Childrens are very eager to learn new things. What such a child wants is more and more knowledge and resources to learn. It wouldn't necessarily come through academic qualification. Giving him exposure to sports and other extra curricular activities which stimulates mind would help to quench the thirst for learning more.

Another thing what I have observed is, a gifted child who always outperforms and has exceptionaly great skills tend to become normal when he grows.


Yeah... my mother wouldn't let me skip grades either... neither did my teacher... however, she was nice enough to start a Gifted and Talented class just for me... I still haven't thanked her for that yet. My family believes that it is hard for a child to fit in into a different peer group that is older than me...

I mean, it is true in some ways when you think about it. Let's say I am a 6th Grade person that has been jumped into 8th grade. The people there (or some) will already be talking about puberty, girlfriends and boyfriends. As mature and as Gifted and Talented as you are, you will have absolutely not way of fitting in into that age group.

It is very hard to Gifted and Talented people to have friends... it is just so very hard, you have no idea how hard it is. :P
You can't fit in into your own age group, and yet you can't totally fit in into the older kids age group either. Even if you can, people will still treat you differently due to prejudice and all that, and you will not be able to grow into an environment that is good for your mental health. :-/

I really like what pasten had to say about this subject. My son is nine and gifted. I challenge him at every corner. Right now he is learning the basics of HTML. He loves video games so I have taught him how to take screen shots of things he likes and make little web pages about them. I wouldn't dream of letting him advance any grades because I think it is important to stay with his peers. To me being social adjusted is more important than academically advanced. He has learned to help his peers out with their work rather than hold it against them that they don't learn as fast as he does. He has an older step brother who is always lording it over him that his knows more than he does. So this was a hard hurdle for us to overcome. I watch him and coach him whenever I can. It is nice to see him being nice to people. And to me that is what counts. He seems to be a leader by example, not by force.

That is very good of you to do that... I think the only way that you can help your Gifted and Talented child is to nourish him or her in anyway you can. Give him or her more than what their school gives them. Most Gifted and Talented people are also natural leaders, so by letting him stay in his age group, you let him experience and learn what makes a good leader, and how he can be one.

That's very good of you. ;)

I definitely agree with you both. I have tried to nurture her talents from the very beginning but at some point she needs to learn to become social otherwise I feel she will have difficulty making friends in the future. And she wants that interaction with older kids as well. You should see her, when we go to the park she doesnt run up to the kids in her age group plaing in the sandbox and on the slides, she immediately heads for the 7 and 8 year olds playing on the rock climbing wall. And it is amazing that they connect with her as well. I just wish she was able to get that out of school. I think you both would agree that when it comes to social interaction that there is only so much a parent can do before you have to go out and let you child be the social one.
You have given me several ideas though. I am going to look into some local extra-cirricular activities for her such as karate or something of that nature where she can interact with other children who may be slightly older than her. That might give her the attention that she is craving that I am unable to give her. Thank you very much for your thoughts, ideas and input.


Yeah... that's wonderful. I usually find it easier to connect with older people too... but because I am in an awkward age group at the moment... I usually connect with very older and more mature people, like teachers and grandparents then kids that are one or two years older than me...

Dot points, because I can.
> I am 15 years old and in university
> I went to public schools
> My closest friends are from high school, and I still talk to some primary school friends
> I would hate being grouped with people at a significantly lower academic standard (and maturity)
> Look into extra-curricular activities and programs for talented children (the 'head-fake'?)
> Find what interests your child and help her learn it
> Don't hold her back - if you can't get her into school early, see if you can have her skip from the first grade to the second some weeks into first grade.


Would you really hate being grouped with people at a significantly lower academic standard than you? I don't really know about that...
I mean... maybe but then you can nurture your leadership skills. If you are as talented as you say you are, I have no doubt that you have a lot of leadership potential in you.

But does your so-called peers let you be their leader? Or do they go "Yeah, I know you're smart and everything, but you're still younger than us." Because that's what I experience all the time. Also, I think it's better to be a big fish in a little pond than a small fish in the sea. But of course, it's best to be the biggest fish in the sea, but not everyone has the potential to be it.

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