Why Do People Start Posts With "dear Friends"

[kobra500 1]

There are many things I find annoying at different times, when the FN key on a laptop is where the CTRL key should be. Or when people give there ideas on things they really have no idea about.Well this weeks rant on what I find annoying is simple, people who start every post, story whatever, not just here but on anysite with the words "Dear Friends". Now I probably will offend quite a few people but I don't care.Reason 1: It makes you sound "preachy". Now I know most posts are preachy, wether you're breaching why firefox is better than internet explorer, or wether you are in a more traditional sense of the word telling us what Genesis has to say on how the world was created, I preach, you preach. So why does this annoy me, well to be honest you don't really think about it that way, you suspend the illusion that you are in fact not being preached to as it were, but as soon as someone says "dear friends" that illusion is popped like a balloon. People do not like being preached to, or at least don't like knowing their being preached to.Reason 2: Say what you want 99.99-100% of people who read what you have to say are not your friends. I may like certain people on this forum, I think S_M is a funny guy, and everyone likes I don't know, bluebear for example, but they're not my friends anymore than a lamp is my friend, sure I can have confersations with them, talk about whatever, but they're not friends, aquatances yes, I quite like talking to them, but I don't even know anything about them, I may know names or where they live, but that does not constitute friendship on any level, of course someone on a website may be your friend but you're not directing at them you're directing it at everyone, even dodgy pete who sells drugs for a living by your post be your friend.So please don't say it, if not for me, for yourself. After all, you want people to take you seriously

Edited December 5, 2008 by kobra500 (see edit history)

[Bluebear 0]

I have to agree with the problem regarding the Ctrl button, as I have two laptops and one of them has that awful and very annoying disease. Today I had my English exam (went strait to hell just in case someone wanted to know) and I had to start an letter with "Dear Editor." But the difference is that it was a formal text. When you talk with your friends you speak different than with your teacher, because we do have different "types" of language. I actually learned about this in English class, so... well, yes. Contracted forms (your'e, ain't, gonna) is considered as unformal, and therefore you would not find it in for example a newspaper. I do not know how come someone finds this forum as a very formal one, maybe it is do to our love for longer posts? :S I always greet new members in the introduction forum, but... well it is just my tradition.I suppose it is because they want to be polite they say "Dear Friends", and I sure hope that I have not said anything like that before?! Well I do not mind, it does not annoy me but if it is normal? It does not matter really. And for your info (my dear friend) you do not know my name or exactly where I live... just how I like it.

[truefusion 3]

Rather than have others change themselves for your own sake when there is nothing wrong with what they are doing, why not change the way you come towards the thing that annoys you? When you act against something that isn't wrong, you are in turn committing wrong as in attempting to change the minds of others by having them incline to your way of thinking when there is nothing wrong with the thing that annoys you. Don't appeal to emotion by declaring that what annoys you is within itself therefore wrong.You say it makes them sound preachy—as if it could be proven objectively as a whole. You say, "say what you want," but are they not saying what they want? You are contradicting yourself with reason 2. It obviously doesn't matter to them whether or not the readers of their posts are friends or not, and it shouldn't. Yet your conclusion implies that it should matter, as you attempt to speak for all. If merely having the words "dear friends" at the beginning of each post is enough to make you not want to take their words seriously, then i am inclined to say that the problem is not with the one that starts their posts with "dear friends." I find no valid reason to decrease another person's words in value just because it starts with "dear friends."

[jlhaslip 4]

Have you considered that perhaps English is not their first language and they may be using a form of conversation they have been taught to be correct? Cross cultural issues perhaps are rearing their head here, as well. Some cultures are very polite and formal in their conversation patterns. Japanese, for example.

[mahesh2k 0]

The problem here is people try to analyze the person posting on forum/IRC/Blog etc. When they start getting interested in another person they simply start to decipher each and everything what they're doing and try to mold it according to their own personality which is not good way to approach.

So why people use "Dear friends" & other polite words etc in their posts,here are some reasons:

1) English is not first language, so they try to be polite so that others don't misunderstood some of their opinions
2) They try to be friendly, which is important on the internet
3) Spiritual and Religious people try to talk like this a lot.
4) Some countries have corporate culture where managers/colleagues talk like " Hey mate, Dear friends" etc.
5) Some students trained for soft-skill and corporate culture use those words during start of debate/presentations etc.
6) Some higher authority people prefer to use it in order to relax the listeners during any talk/workshop/seminars etc.


Oh, i'll get "analysis paralysis" if try to list more and more reasons for it anyway. Hope you understood some reasons by now.

As true fusion said earlier :

Rather than have others change themselves for your own sake when there is nothing wrong with what they are doing, why not change the way you come towards the thing that annoys you?

[kobra500 1]

I don't really want them to change from me, that part was a joke though I admit, not the most humerous of ones. I just find it annoying. It's just a silly little things that are more annoying than the really big things.

English is not first language, so they try to be polite so that others don't misunderstood some of their opinions.

Good point , but speaking English as my first language, like alot of other people who speak English we seem to take for granted that everyone else does so I apologise for that.

"say what you want,"

Hahaha Didn't spot that one . I cannot, will not, and shall not change free will and free speech, I can't stop them but why should that mean I can't take issue with it.

And for your info (my dear friend) you do not know my name or exactly where I live... just how I like it.

I was saying I pretty sure S_M name is micheal and your from norway is what im saying
Edited December 6, 2008 by kobra500 (see edit history)