Losing All My Friends... depressed, confused and no where left to turn

[T84 0]

Like the title and the description say, I'm losing all my friends... I have no idea what i did to them, no one can seem to give me an answer as to what i did or what i can do to try and fix it...So far what I've gathered is out of 5 suspected friends that hate me 1 is a definate person that hates me. I really can't understand how this happened i hung out with my friend alex every day during summer 07 EVERY SINGLE DAY I'm not exagerating, not only during summer break but basicly from June to November. Then Christmas time came... everything was going as normal, by that i mean all of my friends and I were hanging out on a regular basis. New Years came and most of my friends decided to drink and they didn't have a little, two of them Corey(My freind that i know hates me) and Steve. We were all at my friend Anthony's house and his parents were upstairs, so we tried to keep Corey and Steve's profile low. Then they pulled a whole thing of vodka out of a backpack and started to drink again. My friend Anthony and I decided that it was best if we got the alcohol away from them, so I took the bottle and ran out of Anthony's house to go to Steve's house which is 2 blocks away to hide it. So I'm sprinting to Steve's house on New Years Eve, in a T-shirt, through a muddy feild, with a gallon of vodka. When i notice my other friend Stevyns run up next to me and say "hurry he is coming!" I turned back to see my friend Corey chasing us down the street... So Stevyns and I get to Steve's before Corey and I hide the vodka. Corey comes running up the driveway and asks me where the vodka is, so i told him that we drank it all. He believed us, but then he pulled out his phone and started to call a girl that he liked which he had already made several drunken phone calls to, so i thought that it would best if i took the phone from him because I thought if he liked her that might ruin his chance of a relationship with her. So i grabbed his phone away, and he started slapping and biting me, while telling me that he wanted to talk to her. After a few minutes I finally gave in and let him call her, but before i let him talk i explained to her the situation, apoligized and she seemed pretty understanding. So after the phone call we walked back to anthony's house and both me and Anthony tried our best to restrain Corey and Steve because they were very rowty(i guess thats the best word...) So basicly were that story ties in is that it is to the best of my memory the last time i'd see Corey when he was actually nice to me. As for Alex everything was basicly normal until around the start of volleyball season at my school. Thats when he started ignoring my calls and flat out ignoring me when i tried to talk to him face to face... I've been freinds with Alex for 12 years and i can't understand why he would just not want to be my friend... I mean if i was doing something to make him mad why wouldn't he just tell me or something? Another on of my friends Bob seems to hate me and i'm pretty sure he was about to tell me one time but he stopped in the middle of a word and changed it... Truely only 3 of my friends actually seem to like me. Stevyns, Anthony, and Larry... Although Stevyns is really close friends to Corey... Stevyns realises that Corey hates me but told me that Corey never really gave him a reason as to why he hated me... Larry on the other hand, Anthony's twin brother seems to be drifting away from me, I really don't know how to explain it but it just seems that I'm losing him as a friend... Last but not least there is Anthony... Anthony... i don't even know how to set into words what he has done for me... he always seems to have my back and be there when I need him... iI feel horrible because i keep pressuring him to try and find out why they hate me because he sees or talks to Alex, Larry, Corey, Steve, and Bob everyday...Honestly, I have no idea what to do... I'm so depressed i dont want to go to sleep at night because i know that i'm just going to wake up in the morning and sit at home alone all day...I really need any and all advice that you can give me, I have no idea what to do... If you didn't understand something in there just ask me and i'll try my best to explain clearer... I truely thank anyone that read that even if they don't reply but to those of you that do reply with advice or anything i'm truely indebted to you...

[minimcmonkey 0]

I have had a simialar experience.I kinda of wrecked my social ife by becoming friends with a small crowd of girls.Unfortunately, the boy who use to be my best friend, decided to turn them ll against me, by saying id been, doing something perverted...For some reason he is friends with me now,but the girls all hate me ;)life goes on!

[Sica-GURU 0]

there's only one song that's in my mind while reading your post:Turbonegro - All my friends are dead ...it's a cool song ;)I don't wanna be silly but when you lose something you should start searching it woo....what a rainy day gtg..

[T84 0]

Thank you for replying,Does anyone have any idea as to what i should do? It's starting to get to me more and more, each time something good happens to lift my spirits, something to crush my spirit happens.... ;) :) :) :)

[mikeyboy63 0]

Is the girl you like, and maybe her bf, hanging out with your buds? I'd guess Corey and the other drunk are mad that you tried to control them by stealing their hooch and taking the guy's phone, and now the problems between you and the girl have divided the group even further. Corey knows you didn't chug it down. You would've been tore up. You stole it. And the girl has a bf. You didn't hit on her until after she got a bf. Was she just supposed to wait and maybe hope that you liked her and maybe you'd eventually grow a pair and ask her out? You're not accepting your friends the way they are and they know it. The way I see it, you owe Corey a bottle of hooch haha and you owe Corey and the girl both an apology. Not trying to be harsh, but your friends are gonna make mistakes with partying with or without your friendship and platonic female friends have the right to date guys. You're all getting older and changing. just my 2 cents.

[T84 0]

Thank you mikeyboy63! Finally someone replys. In this reply im not trying to question your opinion just have to a few questions to try and help me better understand your point...

The girl i liked, her name was Megan, just to make my life easier typing this. I don't know what your definition of "hitting on" is but the only thing i really did when she had a BF was told her i liked her, that was in October. Then we basically continued our normal friendship until January when i basically said to myself, i can't do this anymore so i completely stopped talking to her, 100% no contact unless it was face to face because I didn't want to start an argument or something... I didn't talk to her until like march when she texted me and basically told me "I hate her because she didn't like me." I don't know what about that infuriated me but i really did, (please remember that this took place in march and that i stopped liking her after the first month of ignoring her), so I said i don't hate you. I forget exactly what she said after that but it led into like a hour long texting fight but thats long and forgotten by me and most likely by her... I do however talk to her now occasionally but we still aren't anywhere as close as to what we were... Do you think i should apologize and explain to her the reason for ignoring for so long, even though it was so long ago... or should i just forget that and move on?

The way I see it, you owe Corey a bottle of hooch haha and you owe Corey and the girl both an apology.

I laughed at the first part of that because we are both still minors and the cops were all over the place in our neighbor hood that night... I think your right about the second part i really think i should apoligize to corey for taking the phone away from him... I wasn't trying to change the way he is at all. I just thought it was the right thing to do at the time... Oh, and i don't even know the girl... she lives like 6 towns away...

I recently got up the balls to ask Corey why he hated me, and he told me "Because you thought you were though *BLEEP* when you liked Megan and talked mad *BLEEP* about me" so i replied "Dude i know that and I still hate myself for t... I know I said *BLEEP* abiut you but i really didn't mean it." and i got no answer i staid "So that's it? You don't want to be friends anymore just because i went crazy for a few monthes? I mean we have been best friends for almost 6 years..." I said that on Wed, Jul 2, 10:45pm and haven't heard from him since... Now please don't misinterpret the "talk *BLEEP*" part of what we were saying, All of his friends and my old friends calling him stupid because he doesn't have the most common sense... I just pointed that out more then everyone else did which in turn made me look like an *BLEEP* for telling the not nice truth... now i realize that where it was the truth of not i shouldn't have been saying it...

Anyone have any idea what to do from there?

Once again thank you mikeyboy63 hope to hear back from you and other people soon...

[daftpunk 0]

dude if they hate tell them to f**k off and get some new ones dont hang out with *BLEEP*s

[scout 0]

daftpunk's words seem a little harsh, but he has a point. Often times, when growing up, the friends that we make are really just friends of convenience. Whether they live close enough to you so that you can run over to their house, or they are part of a different crowd that you enjoy spending time with. Of course as you all age, some of you will find certain activities, such as being a rebellious drunk or causing mischief in some way, more appealing than the older behaviors that made you two friends. This growing apart from each other is a normal thing everyone experiences. While you will probably remain friends with some of those people, it's best if you let go of those that have attitude problems and find healthier individuals in society to cohort with.

[T84 0]

Daftpunk i understand what you are trying to say, but ill be straight up honest with you. I'm a Junior in highschool and these kids have been my friends since kindergarten. If it were that easy to walk away from them, i would have at the first signs of this... Scout, thanks for the advice man! What you've said has really got me thinking... I started this topic back in June i believe or maybe even july... But whats going on now is: most of them are talking to me again in person and corey is having little conversations with me through xbox live. It seems the majority of them still like me. I guess ill just see how it plays out from here... I look at it as, I have this current school year and then one more till i go off to college and basicly never have to see them again, I will of course keep ties with the ones that have stuck with me through thick and thin.If you have anymore to say I'd love to hear it. Anyway thanks for the Replys and advice, both Scout and Daftpunk.

[Ashara 0]

When I was younger, and just started High School (probably your junior high as I'm in the UK) I had a number of friends.There will always be those people that fall out with you and leave your group, but more will still be there. There are always ways to tell true friends from those out of convenience. Sarah and Jenny both was close friends, and then they broke off each to a different group. I then became friends with Frances and Susan. Now I'm friends with neither of them, but we were close for a very long time. I guess what I'm trying to say is that nothing will ever be certain, but with a little more experience you will be able to see when friendships start to sour.

[joeblogg 0]

well i guess come and go. why not just try and make new friends but make sure they are the kind of friends that will stay with you throughout the whole journey. thoughout hardships and difficult times as well.

[tatati 0]

You need new friends. If you say you have 5 good friends, you must be one of their 5 or more good friends who is being no fun at all, they want to drink, you wont let them, they want to make drunken calls, you get in their way. Be a friend not a parent. Or get some more responsible friends who are into same stuff as you, or be less possessive of your friends because you sound like you are holding back on their fun, if you have this story to tell us, imagine all the other dirt they must discuss about you behind your back... try to enjoy your early years with your friends, sit back and watch them be inconsequent and stupid, you dont have to be their mom.

[anwiii 17]

i've been in your shoes bud and feel for ya. thing about friends from kindergarten though is they will always be your friends. usually for life.during jr. high and especially high school though, people tend to start entering in to their own clicks and going seperate ways from their past ways. during this time people are finding their own selves and it is really a tricky situation because it puts people like you in a situation of confusion and right now you are missing your friends.my best advice i can ever give you is to tell your friends what is on your mind. maybe there is something i don't know that you're not saying that something happened and they have every right to be upset with ya. if so, you better make ammends and work hard making up for whatever ya did....no matter how small YOU think it is, it ain't small to THEM. secondly, after telling them what's on your mind, ball's in their court. need to find other friends. this is a time to do it when you're in high school....and that's how it should be. don't limit yourself to just the friends you had in kendergarten r you will regret it later on.what i mean by this is open your eyes to the possibilities of your own life. usually when one door closes, another door opens. if you have your eyes closes, you might miss this door and never walk through it. especially if you're distracted by other b.s. that is getting you emotional and hurt. don't let that afect how you live your life and the other possibilities around you. trust me....eventually, i believe your friends will come around, but you may never be as close as you were when you were younger. i know it's f'd up, but that's the way life is sometimes BUT! you will always be friends. this i believe. so aside from telling them what is on your mind, give them their space and continue to live your own life. you need to find yourself too....life isn't supposed to be crappy all the time so enjoy the good things now while you still have a chance

[mbafactory 0]

Hey, it is quite normal if you try to be friends with each and everyone around, but it is foolish to keep on trying it for years and so on!You must focus your energy on your important stuffs, let other than just thinking about your friends who hate you or do not care about you. It still looks childish that you are haunted with the search of reasons why would not they like to be your friends.If they do not wish to be normal with you, they do not deserve your valuable friendship, so better you forget them and just be yourself.Look it will give you a reason for the friends worth devoting your time. Let it be like this only, and if some one does not want to talk to you, or maintain a good relation it is their lose.Hope you understand.

[iGuest 3]

Hi. Lately, ive been going through the same thing. Ive been depressed and sad and I cried a lot the past few months. I always kept thinking that it was something I had to deal with myself. I always kept telling myself that I just had to move on, and focus more on other things, like ins chool. Because you know what, ill being going to college soon, and hell yeah, ill probably be making better and more true friends there. But its super hard, letting go of it, and to just stop thinkign about it. Because why would someone who was so close to you, and that youve known for years, through thick and thin, would all of a sudden stop acting normal and the same with you. Its stupid, because then it gets you wonndering what you did. Or even if you know what you did, that how something would get them so mad or pissed off. And its even more hard when youve had such a fun past and such a special past with someone. From time to time I still think back on how much fun and laughter I shared with that person or that group of people. And it just sucks. But I'm constantly reading forums and absorbing quotes of wisdom, that just help me move on. Because maybe these friends were just out of convenience..Maybe this whole process is part of life, and well be able to learn something out of it. Anyways, teach yourself to move forward, and look forward, and make the best of right now. Its hard and its so cliche, but I always have a feeling that if I just keep telling myself, and reminding myself to move on, then maybe things will start to get better. Maybe all of us should just be a little more optimistic. Not exactly masking the sadness, but really killing the depression and tears, and really wearing a new attitude.Happiness is seeing the imperfect things perfectly...Remember?-reply by LAcT