Guy Problems..... Again

[Liv_w 0]

So here it is: There is 2 guys in my life at the moment. Number 1 is a guy that i've been out with before over a year ago and we broke up cos he didnt want to go out with me because of the pressure of school. He was a *BLEEP* back then but he' changed alot and it's suprising he does sweet things for me and isn't selfish like he used to be. He makes me feel special and he and i understand each other because we are tackling the same school problems with exams coming up.
Number 2 is a guy that i went out with for 8 months and we went through alot together. But we broke up because i ddn't think i loved him as much as he loved me. When i went away i cheated on him and i couldn't stand seeing his sad face. He still loves me and wants to get back together and since i'e seen him with another girl i know i miss him. Both are great and i took a chance with number 1 before and it didnt work out so i'm not sure if i should again. we are going on holidays together for a grad trip because we both need to get away...... number 2 doesnt like that and if we got back together then he would be so frustrated the whole time i was away co of the history!! I need help i'm stuck.... i just don;t have a clue

[anwiii 17]

So here it is: There is 2 guys in my life at the moment. Number 1 is a guy that i've been out with before over a year ago and we broke up cos he didnt want to go out with me because of the pressure of school. He was a *BLEEP* back then but he' changed alot and it's suprising he does sweet things for me and isn't selfish like he used to be. He makes me feel special and he and i understand each other because we are tackling the same school problems with exams coming up.

Number 2 is a guy that i went out with for 8 months and we went through alot together. But we broke up because i ddn't think i loved him as much as he loved me. When i went away i cheated on him and i couldn't stand seeing his sad face. He still loves me and wants to get back together and since i'e seen him with another girl i know i miss him. Both are great and i took a chance with number 1 before and it didnt work out so i'm not sure if i should again. we are going on holidays together for a grad trip because we both need to get away...... number 2 doesnt like that and if we got back together then he would be so frustrated the whole time i was away co of the history!! I need help i'm stuck.... i just don;t have a clue

first of all, you should have included your age in this post. it could make the whole difference of opinions here. just based on what you said though, dating shouldn't be complicated. you and guy#1 already broke it off. you and guy#2 already broke it off. you didn't cheat on him since you already broke it off. get your facts straight here.

 

so. advice. #1 is to be honest with both of them. you are confused and that is ok. tell them this and tell them you don't know what direction you want to go with your life right now.

 

then, keep it simple. i wouldn't go on a trip with either one of them right now. i would keep everyting casual. date, yes. trips, no. try to connect with whoever you are seeing at the time.

 

keep asking yourself if they fullfill you, your needs, make you happy, etc.... i'm sure guy#1 and guy#2 are both great. i am sure guy#1 gives certain things that fullfill you but not everything....and vica versa with guy #2.

 

while you are secretely asking yourself questions about these guys, i want you to keep in mind some EXTREME good advice i am about to give you right now.

 

you want to be with a guy that you have alot in common with. yes, opposites do attract, but that phase wears off. opposites attracting is more of a curiousity phase. you want to be with someone who compliments you. no.....not your shoes silly....your way of life. someone that you can mold in to one with. you want to be with someone whois strong in the areas that you are weak in and weak in the areas that you are strong in....while still having most everything in common with eachother.

 

now i've heard this many many times so i will state it here. women just want someone to love them....but more than that, women need to FEEL loved. don't necesarily disregard the guy that doesn't make you FEEL loved. he probably shows it in many ways, but hard to see by the woman's dark glasses that keep them blind sometimes. there are many ways to show love. not just be affection like small hugs and kisses. some guys suck at that and other things to show afection(even saying the words, "i love you". BUT don't EVER let that fool you because love comes in many shapes and forms. keep your eyes wide open for that guy that completes you.

 

with that said....again....date. no trips unless it's with any guy other that 1 or 2. date. now here is the real secret in choosing......ready? my advice is that if you don't know which guy you want, don't date either one. they may be nice guys, but there are plenty of nice guys you can connect with so if you can't choose, than neither one is the guy for ya. knowing the right guy is easy....just like for me.....knowing the right girl was easy. there was no question.

 

so let them down easy and keep things casual and not so serious. keep your eye out for the right guy but remember....when the time comes, that right guy will just fall in to your lap when you were looking the other way even it will just happen naturally.

 

just have fun......and be happy. don't live in regret and do what you know is right deep down within side your own self. you gut is right 99% of the time. listen to it

[chassidydawnn 0]

Well honey it sounds like to me that you should take a break from both of them for a while to me it sounds like you need to clear your mind for a little while i went through some things like that in high school and i ended up marrying one of them so just take a break for a while do things with your family and forget about guys for a little while you dont have to be with someone all of the time hope this helps you!

[tuddy 0]

Can you be sure guy number 1 will not change again?Can you be even more sure relationship with guy number 2 will ever be the same?I think you are asking yourself all the wrong questions here, it's not who you love your asking, but who do I like more. If you really did love either of them then it would be really clear anwii has said. I believe what anwii has said is correct, but I think you just need a good break and it will become perfectly clear.With guy number two, you broke it off cause you thought you didn't love him, still the case? lease guy number one probably did love you but did the right thing for his education.

[cangor 0]

I think tuddy's absolutely right. Guy #2 sounds decent but you screwed that up by cheating on him, which was your fault, I'm sorry, but it's the truth. And Guy #1, even though he's supposedly better than he used to be, is probably still a jerk. Like, I don't know why you said he was a *bleep,* because if he just broke up with you because of school that's completely reasonable if you ask me. But, assuming he was a jerk, well, I am a guy, and based on what I see of other guys and the way they treat girls, he probably hasn't changed at all, he's just trying to get you back. Like, if a guy is super super great and nice and makes one mistake, that's no big deal, but if you just thought he was a total jerk back then, he probably still his now, he's just putting up a facade.Guy 2 like I said sounds really great from what little you said, but you screwed that one up already, and I highly doubt, unless both of you honestly want to give it another go, that you'll be able to fix things. I mean, it sounds like you never really liked him that much, and so you're just going to be shortchanging him if you get back together because he really likes you, and if you can't reciprocate that then you shouldn't be together.The best thing is to just talk to them, and be open, and get this stuff sorted out, but, at the same time, trust yourself, because inside I'm sure you know what the right thing to do is.Well, good luck

[thejestergl 0]

Take a break and Tuddy and chassidydawnn said. You really have to clear your mind more because you need to think about what both of them mean to you. And yes, you did cheat on Guy #2 (according to you) and that was your fault, which could come up later in the relationship. I don't know what kind of guy Guy #2 is but a lot of the time things like this reoccur in a relationship because of some stupid fight. Some guys are different though, and they don't bring up the past like that, especially if they want to get back together with you. Guy #1 has supposidly changed, but that doesn't mean he has changed for good. You can't re-judge someone in my opinion in a quick turn around. Though it could have been the stress from school that make him a jerk. So honestly he could have been a nice guy all along. So here is the bottom in line for my opinion, take a break, think of what kind of guy Guy #1 and Guy #2 are, make your decision. You have to really think about how each realtionship was, and what each one ment to you. You may want to get back into a relationship with one of them soon but it would be best to wait and be 100% confident about going into one. You don't want to be in one and have the question "What if I chose the other guy" going through your head. Good luck,Jester

Edited November 23, 2007 by thejestergl (see edit history)

[iGuest 3]

Replying to Liv_w well test the guys. See which one would understand you the most. Can trust you the most and not get carried away. You don't have trust you don't have a relationship-reply by samantha