Bullies - What To Do About Them?

[seez 0]

There are mean and rude people in everyone's schools, like bullies. There is mainly one in my school. He is the grade bully and I am quite mystified why he is still at my school as my school is private and rather high class. He is big, way bigger than me. I am muscular enough but this guy is huge. He never really bothers me outright anymore but I have had several encounters with him. I am lucky however that he did no more than shove me into my locker and trip me, sending me crashing to the floor.He bothers other people more though. Humiliates them, like says stuff to them that is embarrasing.I want to prove this guy that he is not the boss. I want to put him in his place, without physcially fighting. I want to get the dirt on him or something, and never make him talk to anyone meanly again, never to embarrass anyone again.What should I do?

[t3jem 0]

First of all, fighting fire with fire, it's never a good thing. You don't want to stoop down to his level, if your complaining about him, i'm sure your better than that. Now, what I would suggest is perhaps, talking to his parents, in public schools this might do nothing; however, if he is in a private schools his parents will at least talk to him at the very least. If you talk to his parents and let them know what their son is doing then they'll talk to him/punish him; however, be very kind and cureous and don't make it sound like your trying to get him in trouble, parents don't like hearing that their kids aren't behaving correctly. Secondly if the bully finds out that your the one who told his parents it may get worse, so let them know that you want to remail annonymous. You could also let a teacher know and they could do something about it. I hope this helps.

[shigajet 0]

Interesting that I found this topic on bullies. Over on this side of the pond, bullying (called "ijime" in Japanese) has become quite a hot topic in the public school system. Aside from the countless meetings held by the teachers and PTA on how to handle the issue, I don't know how else they'll approach the affected students. Sure, you could say have a word with the parents...but what if the parents of the bully (and the victim) don't care or if the father's never home to do anything about it? It'll be interesting to see how this comes about. For sure, the bulying issue has led to quite a few suicides by those students who were constantly bullied.

[husker 0]

Well, you said you were in a fairly well educated school, so fight fire with the brain. Outsmart him in more normal terms. Set up some kind of trap that won't injure him badly, yet will still get the point across. If you want it to be better, have more people around so the bully feels more embarrassed and "gets a taste of his own medicine". But make sure to not let him know that you did it, or else you will be in big trouble. Hopefully this helps. If not, try t3jem solution, although kids tend to be like their parents, so the parents more than likely won't care.

[csp4.0 1]

2 ways.1. Show him that you don't care for him, don't say anything to him, keep away from him, and ignore him2. Complete opposite. Bullies normally don't have friends, so try to be close to him, make him feel wanted. You know, make hime feel comfortable.But beware if he has a 'gang' approaching is forbiddenThese ideas may not work but its a start

[t3jem 0]

regarding what husker said. Bullies normally bully others due to low self of steam, so fighting back/embarrasing him will only make things worse. And he did say he was at a private school, and I would be surprised if a kid at a private school doesn't have parents that care.

[csp4.0 1]

Yes, private school costs like $10,000 a year, so if you want to you can tell the principal/headmaster or tell his parents (just say that you want to remin anonymous). That way he'll probably get a detention and a letter home. But telling his parents might be a better idea, but they might not keep you anonymous

[techclave 0]

Looks like you got to settle scores with that bully pretty badly ... What i would suggest you to do is ,a) Neglect him to the coreStart off by acting as if you were not able to see a creature like that with your eyes. He might be walking near you or asking something to you.. Just neglect him completely. Act as if he was not around.. Of course this can be dangerous to you, if he decides to grab your attention by getting on a tiff physically. But , if you could manage to neglect him, that would be a big embarrassment to that big guy. And maybe he would hopefully start neglecting you as well..b.) Create a hate club for himYou could create a small hate club for that guy. I am sure there will be many guys who would be eager to join, as you have said that guy embarrasses a lot of people at school. Also try to create communities against him in networking sites like orkut. That would serve him better , i guess !!c) Male a fool out of himYou can go about the job in two ways1)Tease him with wordsGet a gang of boys with you .. Probably the ones from your hate club. All of you join and tease the bully as much as you can. The prescribed amount of teasing you could offer him could vary depending upon the magnitude of self respect that guy has. 2) Play some pranks on himWith a bunch of guys around you, it should not be hard to think of and play some pranks on that guy. And given that you are in school, pranks should be a part of it all. Start off with simple things like spraying ink on him,.. He could get really embarrassedand realize what he has been doing to the other boys at school. A word of caution :You can try and implement points a,b and c given that you have enough number of your classmates or school mates backing you up. Otherwise, it may bot be advisable. You may end up with a fractured limb if you try to play pranks on a bully with a good physique !! So , get a gang, and see to that, whatever you do, that bully cannot isolate you as the reason. He should rather see the cause as a group of people against him ..d) Be a good kid.. Go and complaint !!!If you are not able to generate confidence within you and your friends to start doing things against him, try to do it the gentleman way. Go and complaint to his parents or your teacher, whoever it may be... Let them know about your difficulties and the inconvenience that guy imposes on others at school. This might make him even worse , but it is worth taking a risk.And you can even sign a petition signed by your friends ,to your principal , describing about that bully , and ask to take some sort of an action on him.e) If you succeed, give him a life Once you have done anything and succeeded ion making him realize his mistakes, go to him and accept him as your friend. Tell him what all had done was history, and that you would like to be his friend. Once you do this, i am sure you too could find a damn good friend for you .. There is nothing better than forgiving people who realize their mistakes and want to correct them.That's it from my side. Go and see what happens..

Edited May 2, 2007 by techclave (see edit history)

[Misanthrope 0]

Bullies infest every walk of life in every corner of society, and are hardly a new phenomenon. What's changed since the days of yore are the ways society deals with these soul-sucking vermin and the scars they inflict on innocent bystanders. In our current climate of fear-mongering political correctness, bullies are often allowed to carry on in their usual foul manner, unencumbered by little things like common mores and values. As other posters have alluded to, you may as well forget protocol if you?re the unfortunate victim of that gross charade otherwise known as the public school system. In this environment, the brave vigilantly must step in where the system fails, or refuses to act. Here, the bully must be brought into line by other students, by whatever means they deem necessary. Left without due process, the only way to subdue a bully is by giving him a piece of his own vile medicine. A little creative license wouldn?t hurt here, within reason of course. If, however, you attend Catholic school, you can count on the clergy-faculty to reign in the little bastard long before he presents a problem to other students. At least I hope that?s still the case. Much has changed since I attended Catholic school, and I fear the Church has changed for the worse since then. No, I know it?s changed for the worse since then. But I digress. The point is, your odds of having the problem resolved in a non-state controlled setting are far greater than not. And hey, if for some horrible reason you decide to propagate, at least have the foresight to save the little rug rats the torture of the public school prison system.

[Zlash 0]

First of all, fighting fire with fire, it's never a good thing. You don't want to stoop down to his level, if your complaining about him, i'm sure your better than that. Now, what I would suggest is perhaps, talking to his parents, in public schools this might do nothing; however, if he is in a private schools his parents will at least talk to him at the very least. If you talk to his parents and let them know what their son is doing then they'll talk to him/punish him; however, be very kind and cureous and don't make it sound like your trying to get him in trouble, parents don't like hearing that their kids aren't behaving correctly. Secondly if the bully finds out that your the one who told his parents it may get worse, so let them know that you want to remail annonymous. You could also let a teacher know and they could do something about it. I hope this helps.

Nice advice. That could really work actually. Just let the parents, or teacher, know that you don't want anybody to know that it was you who told the bully off. Then you could get it trouble...physically. Good luck! And if you get it to work: Congratulations!

[srujanlive 0]

Or make the bully feel miserable. Everytime he trips you, turn around and say thank you. send him flowers everyday wishing him to get well soon, like he is suffering from a disease. That should do the trick. Imagine all the bullied doing that. He would go mad.

[street 0]

In order for you to take of the bully you should not tell the teacher cause one that will make worse on everyone cause when you tell the teacher all they are going to say were is the proof that he is a bully it is your word against his. Also the worst that they can do is give him dention and that is not going to change him in to a person that is going to stop being a bully that will just make it worse for everyone he bullies cause now he would do the extreme things to them cause he knows that it was one of them. Also the best thing to do is frame him for something that will get him trouble by doing that he will get exspelled by the school and if that does not work you can get your parents to complain about him to the principal and threaten to remove him and if they dont do your parents can tell that you will just enroll in another private school. If a group of parents say that they will remove him cause one kid being removed is better than having 30 kids being removed. That is all i have to say about the bully problem.

[demonatashadow 0]

Well like most parents or adults wil most-likely tell you, I suggest you go and tell an adult or a teacher or maybe go speak with the counselor. And I know what you're probably thinking, "I don't want to be the tattle tale". Well I think theres a difference between tattle tailing and requesting assistence from an adult (as I refer to it as). Now I know, all adults probably tell you that as well. Well how about this, bring you're friends with you, or people this "bully" has picked on and tell an adult together, normally (as I've seen) there is strength in numbers. I noticed that people (when someone does something that is supposed to be un-cool) they normally call one person (who did the un-cool thing) the names. But I've never seen someone call several people names. If they all do the same thing then they will eventually follow, thats how a lot of todays fashion came to be.There is however something more devient and horribly astounding. If you wish to get revenge without using violence and embarrasing him infront of others, then read closely. Most bullies pick on others because they have no life and are pathetically pathetic. Well he or she normally has problems outside of school which results in them acting this way. Figure out what those issues are, bring them to school, and make that bad sucker cry.Now for my final trick/idea. This is somewhat mean but hell, I'm not really nice anyways. If he is above the age of ten then there is no doubt that he likes a girl. Figure out who this girl is. If this bully has gym and he has to dress out for class then quickly take his normal clothes and put it somewhere he wont find. Then he will be all smelly. Confront the girl tell her the bully likes her. Tell her not to tell him that you told her this. She will most-likely confront the boy and say go to hell, but if she somehow is slitely attracted to him (not likely) then she will definitly smell the bullies sweat and say I don't like you smelly guy.Hope you put this bully in his place. I had the same problem years ago. However I know Kendo, so I kicked the bullies *bottom* and put him in his place, it was easy since most bullies are normally weak and just pretend to be tough. Besides brain beats bron. Its true, I kow each and every weak point of the body, I beat him by striking at his weak points. GOOD LUCK!!!! :unsure:P.S. I suggest the first option.

[Tramposch 1]

To tell you the truth, I think I am the bully in my grade, I think bullies come along by not being accepted by others, I wasn't accepted a lot because i was foreign, some people be my friends now because they are afraid of me, I do not like that a lot, but nobody dares touch me, i know why, but its not as fun. I'm pushed around mentally, but not physically, but that leads to physical harm to other people, because i sometimes get angry over it. I am more tamed now, i have more friends, who are actually friends, but i also have enemies, enemies that are able to just walk up to me and say disrespectful stuff, but i do not want to do anything about it because then i would be disaproved by many people, yes i am not the highest social class (well, our school doesnt really have big classes, its retards and cools ppl) but im kind of in the middle, when i say retard, i dont mean mentally retarded, just dumb.. strange.. people.. if you know what i mean, sorry if am insulting anybody.. but you have to see the people at my school.I am really trying to change, and next year i hope to be a big change. I hate bullies myself, and if i see somebody being bullied i step in, and help

[Jarlaxe 0]

Adults always say to go tell a teacher. But me (not being an adult) prefer to do things by myself or with my friends. Telling a teacher will just get you a bad reputation (expecially in secondary/high school). Get back at him would be my advice. If you are smaller than him then do stuff he wouldnt expect you to do. ie take his bag when hes not looking and set fire to it. Only back down when there is no teacher near you and always stick up for yourself.Nobody likes a whiner... (.... this idea is not to be used if the "bully" is really dangerous, ie he brings in knives)Also, if this is in the US then you would probably get killed because kids are always killin each other over there.