Should I Give Her A Card Or Even Just A Nice Email Next Month?

[shadowx 0]

Well as much as i hate the economic-ness of valentines day some people like it, particularly girls methinks! And so my question does begin:Should i send a little email or even a card to this girl? Let me tell you more, i go to college, in my second year now and last year she sat next to me in one of my classes so i saw her nearly every day and we started talking and near the end of that academic year, about June, i started to really like her. I think shes pretty and she's really funny and got a nice personality etcetera. The catch it she has a boyfriend which makes this dilemma a bit more complicated!Shes been with him for just over a year and i know she really likes/probably loves, him and so i think that maybe expressing my feelings isnt a good idea as i am very very unlikely to get with her any time soon and it might affect our friendship, and were not exactly best mates as it is. But she doesnt know how i feel and for some reason i want her to know, i want to tell her how good looking and nice she is etcetera. So do you guys think its a good idea to let her know? I have no idea why im choosing valentines day for this as i believe if you love someone you should show it all year round but i guess it gives me an excuse because im not the most outright person. In the past ive bought roses and wrote poems for a girl but i dont plan on anything spectacular just a little message letting her know what i think of her, maybe a short poem if something comes to me. the only thing i am a little worried about is how she will feel because she already has a boyfriend and as of yet i dont think she has any idea that i like her. And that is all! Any opinions welcome!

[master_bacarra 0]

valentines day aren't just limited to lovers. the day is for the celebration of love, be it all kinds of love. although most people use most of their money for the celebration, i don't think it need not be spent with so much luxury. sometimes, less is more, as the cliche goes.with regards to your problem. i honestly think it's up to you which to give her since it wouldn't really matter that much. what would be in the email or card is what really matters. a nice poem perhaps, a song or just a simple letter of appreciation. that's right, appreciation. the reason why i said that is because there are certain things you need to consider when writing to her. since she's already committed to someone, you have to respect that and give her the appropriate space--meaning, there are some lines you can't cross, and even if you are doing that, the people around her (especially her boyfriend) might get suspicious and in the worst case, it might affect her relationship with not only her boyfriend but also your friendship as well.being friends with her is enough, and i think it should be the idea or thought of the letter/poem/song you should write to her. show her that you appreciate your friendship and that you're glad you have met her, but you have to keep it at that. tell her that you hope to continue your friendship for a long time. after all, a great relationship starts with a strong base friendship. time will tell if you're really meant for her, and if not, well, at least having a great friend by your side is even better. now, valentine's day is less than a month from now. while it's still too early to think about it, at least you have a lot of time to think about what to write to her. good luck! and hope that helps.

[QuickSilva 0]

Personaly, I wouldn't jump in too soon. It may affect your friendship and if the boyfriend found out, you may get into some trouble depending what he is like. I would send her an email saying happy valentines day, but valentines day isn't just for love, it is about friendship too. If you want, you may just want to celebrate your frienship, instead of jumping head first into love. Work you way up, and one day you may just be holding hands walking down the road.I do hope the best for you and her! But remember don't be in shock if anything does go wrong. Love can turn on it's side sometimes.Have a great day!-Tom

[Jimmy 0]

I reckon you (and maybe her too) might regret it slightly if you don't send anything.A card would be a nice thing to do, plus, don't worry about her taking it too hard as everyone sends cards, not just on valentines day.All I could recommend is that you don't put anything too personal in it, just something kind, but not intrusive.Just make sure whatever goes in it is appropriate, then it may make you two just better friends. (which is a good thing right!!?)

[jlhaslip 4]

Give it to her. If the Boyfriend questions it, say you were having fun with it. If she questions it, tell her whatever is right...

[tuddy 0]

If you choose anything, i'd choose the card over the email and give it to her personally or something along those lines. Emails make you look as though your busy, your not that interested, your not that thoughtful. Why?Because email is one of those things that is easy, quick to use without much thought, yes the content could be complicated however the medium is not, choosing a nice cards, maybe making a personalised one, and outting some effort into it will show.

[shadowx 0]

Thanks everyone,

 

Im not bother about the boyfriend really, he doesnt seem, the type to try to kill me!

 

Im more worried about scaring her away if that makes sense, i guess so long as its not over the top she might just not let it affect anything

 

At least ive got a long time to think about this! I dont know what it is i just want to tell her what i feel, maybe if i do write a poem i can write it as about how much shes cheered me up and how much i appreciate that as i can hint on the side of my feelings towards her but mostly it will be abut how much i value her as a friend also. That might go down easier and be the better thing to do, master_bacarra is right really giving her the space which she needs.

 

And Jimmy, you are certainly right, i have too many regrets of things i didnt do so i feel like i have to do something

 

thanks to everyone, now i have an idea of what to do and how...now for the finalities of the mission

 

If anything spectacular happens I'll be sure to post it, good or bad!

[master_bacarra 0]

Im more worried about scaring her away if that makes sense, i guess so long as its not over the top she might just not let it affect anything
At least ive got a long time to think about this! I dont know what it is i just want to tell her what i feel, maybe if i do write a poem i can write it as about how much shes cheered me up and how much i appreciate that as i can hint on the side of my feelings towards her but mostly it will be abut how much i value her as a friend also. That might go down easier and be the better thing to do, master_bacarra is right really giving her the space which she needs.

i don't think it would scare her, as long as you make your point as subtle as possible (although, sending her a poem like that on valentine's day would make it more obvious). but as i've said, i'd rather you tell her about how you appreciate her and her friendship, and that you would want to continue on being friends with her as long as possible.

[crayolabox 0]

Valentine's always makes people cheesier than other days, so dont worry, it's normal. :PI think a simple V-day card would be okay. Email sound so informal and I dont think she'll take it seriously when she reads it from an email. A card would be sweet and wont seem threatening. I mean, it'd be normal for a pretty girl like her to receive cards from people even if she's attached so I dont think she'll see it as a bad gesture. Her response will depend on how you'd write the letter. You shouldnt sound like you want to be more than friends or something or else she'll think that you're hitting on her and she might avoid you, or worse, ignore you from then on. So you should see to it that you tell her the message in a way that you get to express how you really feel and not scare her at the same time. Just tell her that you dont mean anything bad, that you just want her to know how much you value her presence and how she brightens up your day. Good luck dude!

[shadowx 0]

All true points there, i think ill probably write something that shows my feelings for her in a less overt way and also emphasizes how much i value her as a friend also, at least that way i can fall back on the friend side of things if it goes a little pear shaped so to speak. The problem with a letter or card is that i dont see her that often and ill only be able to give it to her at college, not to mention I'm shy! Although i agree that an email is very informal so...*thinks intensely* i have just over three weeks to decide!