Happiness And What To Do With It

[JasperIk 0]

You probably will think I am such demented person for making this topic, but I really have no idea how to deal with happiness. For as long as i can remember i have always been a sad and negative person. I just can't be happy (or so i thought.) even when i was younger my happy moments were destroyed by my negative thoughts. Its just this negative thing that hangs around me constantly, as as i grew older and more things happened to me it just continued to get worse and worse, to the point that a lot of the times i am just throwing this huge fake smile on my face, so people will think i am okay, and when i am saying how much fun things are , i am really thinking about how all the stuff i do wont matter because im going to die and it'll all be gone. However latley i have been actually really happy, to the point of not knowing how to deal with it. I have always been sad/angry and they have been emotions i can deal with because they were the only emotions that existed for me. Now i feel happy and i am overwhelmed, i find myself trying to make myself upset so i can feel like how i normally feel. How wrong is that? Just i am not in my usual comfort zone, and unfortuently my comfort zone is being depressed and/or sad.

[richierich1m 0]

sadness and angst is what you need to deal with but not happiness ,you simply enjoy that experience ,sometimes you may feel you are too happy than don't let your negative things concquer you like if you are too happy ,you are wrong ,happiness is the way of life not sadness or angst ,if you have a good phase of life why not simply enjoy it rather than feeling overwhelmed ,just remove the negativity from your mind and don't let it come again ,simply enjoy the life ,don't think why it is that way keep smiling......

[salamangkero 0]

Your situation sure struck me as ironic. See, if sadness is your "comfort" zone, then you find your happiness in that, even though you may or may not recognize it. When you feel "happy", on the other hand, you are thrust out of your comfort zone, hence, you become unhappy.I'm not saying it is quite paradoxical in your case; as a matter of fact, I deny it is anywhere near ambivalent. For one, you seem aware of the symptoms or indications of sadness and anger. You also have a strong idea of what constitutes a happy person, thus, you have been highly able to determine when you are happy or when you are not.Allow me to point out, however, that you have, whether you are aware of it or not, defied these social constructs. In other words, you are revel in what the majority of the world considers depressing and you have acquired an abhorrence in anything that positively agrees with almost everyone else.Well, there you have it. I have another theory at the back of my mind but I fear it is not exactly suitable for posting at the moment

[husker 0]

You certainly have some interesting topics Jasper. I don't want to think to much about this because I'll just get confused. I think you just need to accept happiness and not think about it. It would be good to think about what made you happy, and just keep thinking about that. Maybe the problem is you think too much. You think about your bad memories and the you become in a distraught mood. Keep living life and try to clear out the bad thoughts, or just don't think. It sounds weird, but it might work. Hopefully you will get used to happiness and enjoy it and understand it better.

[slammer 0]

Jasper, i think you should just enjoy the time that you are happy. We go up and down in our lives going from happy periods to sad bits. Maybe you were just stuck in the sad part for longer than most so thats why you feel like thats where you "normally" should be. So if you dont worry about the being happy bit and just go with the flow it will eventually become normal to you. I know this cos i was slightly the same when i was younger, not to the same level though.Hope you adjust soon.

[JasperIk 0]

I wish i could enjoy the happiness but its just such an abnormal feeling for me, i feel so lost without sadness/anger. Its like theres a lot going on in my life right now bad and good, and i just dont understand why i am happy, and i think for that reason i am so confused. I just always thought people tend to be more happy when their life is going great, and right now my life isnt going thatgreat (its gone worse, but theres still a lot of problems in it, like the bad out ways the good in many ways) like its almost as if i feel guilty for being happy when i dont think i should be.

 

Well, there you have it. I have another theory at the back of my mind but I fear it is not exactly suitable for posting at the moment

 

Is it a masochist theory?

[matak 2]

i think something like salamangkero..you live outside of social boundrys most of people live in. if you have normal life in your sadness and anger then happiness that this society thinks as standard is not the happiness for you. think about things that make you happy. what are those things? would that things make other people happy to, are are they happiness just for you.if you find that those things wouldn't make other ppl happy to, then you live outside social standards of our society. Also you must know that standards are made for those ppl who can live in them. if you can't live in them that doesn't make you not-human. that just means that you need to find ppl who find happiness in things that you find it and then socialize with that kind of ppl.you could have mayor problem with that if you really try to find similar ppl but fail constantly. that could mean you have some problems you need to find help with. beacouse maybe just by finding someone who shares your feelings make you think opposite of those feelings instantly. that can lead you to self-destruction, and make you asocial person which then leads to total sadness and anger to everybody or everything created humanity.even so, you don't need to find escape in death maybe beacouse you are special. special ppl tend to hate everything around themselves beacouse they know deep inside problems which make them like that. instead of finding escape in death maybe try to make poems, art or music in which you can express your feelings of that what makes you happy. and more ppl which would hate your doings would just make you more happy in sadness and anger to everything

[JasperIk 0]

i think something like salamangkero..
you live outside of social boundrys most of people live in. if you have normal life in your sadness and anger then happiness that this society thinks as standard is not the happiness for you. think about things that make you happy. what are those things? would that things make other people happy to, are are they happiness just for you.

if you find that those things wouldn't make other ppl happy to, then you live outside social standards of our society. Also you must know that standards are made for those ppl who can live in them. if you can't live in them that doesn't make you not-human. that just means that you need to find ppl who find happiness in things that you find it and then socialize with that kind of ppl.

you could have mayor problem with that if you really try to find similar ppl but fail constantly. that could mean you have some problems you need to find help with. beacouse maybe just by finding someone who shares your feelings make you think opposite of those feelings instantly. that can lead you to self-destruction, and make you asocial person which then leads to total sadness and anger to everybody or everything created humanity.

even so, you don't need to find escape in death maybe beacouse you are special. special ppl tend to hate everything around themselves beacouse they know deep inside problems which make them like that. instead of finding escape in death maybe try to make poems, art or music in which you can express your feelings of that what makes you happy. and more ppl which would hate your doings would just make you more happy in sadness and anger to everything

You seem to be making it out to sound like because i am happy i want to kill myself, i am not that derranged. I just don't know how to react to the feeling of being happy.

First off i'd never kill myself, and heres why.

1. I've tried to and i failed everytime leading me to believe i am not meant to die via suicide
2. I am far to selfish in many ways
3. I am also not selfish enough (as in i care about those who may care about me and dont want to hurt them)
4. In the end i believe its a wimpy way out, i mean hitler killed himself and i do not want to be anything like hitler

[matak 2]

sorry.. i didn't really mean that you are going to do that.i also had period in life in which i just couldn't find my place and everything seemed to stupid and not worth of living. but i thought that if i do that craziness i would probably wake in heaven with hole in my head, or green from poison, or looking like pancake from throwing my self from aeroplane but now thank god, that is behind me couse i realized that it's not worth it. it's hard to live but it's worth it. the parts when you are sincerly happy are rare but they are worth waiting for. even sometimes feeling those things how everything just isn't right now makes me feel laugh couse i know that for few days i'm going to feel just the opposite.i wanted to say that you just need to find things in which you can relieve your self from those negative thoughts, like music, art or literature. you never know what kind of inspiration are you going to get, and maybe you would create something that ppl could find interesting and change their perspective about things in life, therefor making them selves more like you and then you would have somebody to share those feeling to, and find out that your not the only one feeling like that. except maybe that you want to be only one feeling like that but than you shouldn't complain about that