Need Help With Next Step With This Girl Weird situation, dont know where to go

[LocalSeer 0]

Alright, i'm usualy a more shy person, but yesturday, i was drunk out of my mind, went out smoking and met this girl, i can't remember how i started, but after a while i was hugging her every minute and even got on my knees asking her not to go when she went half an hour later. I also got her number sometime that night that I can't remember. Anyways, the next day she was telling everyone around about how funny I was and wanted to see me again. Now being the shy person I am, I'm not sure how to go about pulling off the same, and don't wont her to lose interest in me as I very much liked her when I was drunk and had fun playing with her. I need advice so this dosen't die.

[Chatz 0]

Let me start by introduceing myself.I am chatz,am 19 years old and I'm a relationship shrink.First I don't know how the hell you pulled that off,I mean going down on your knees to ask her not to go, Come on you too just met! It Just showed how desparete you were.I'm surprised she even wana see you again.Never the less you want advise on making the next move.Here's what you should do.Go up to her and tell her how of a great time you had with her,also aplogise for being drunk and tell her that you would like to take her out somewhere (that would clear anything she might of thought about you negatively).Take her to a place quite and make her feel special.Make her laugh and smile (dn't act like a fool) be that guy she always wanted.After your romantic time,take her home and tell her how you loved the time you two spent.Then try and go for a kiss If she doesn't want then dn't force It let it go,You'll just have to keep working at It.Now d'nt tell me you can't do all that because you shy,Shyness is just an excuse,It doesn't work with me

[kawasu 0]

lol that's hilarious. next time u see her, go up to her and have a casual talk. talk about how stupid u were when u were drunk, it will at the very least get a good conversation going. if all goes well ask her out to lunch or dinner sometime. tell her u enjoy spending time with her and you wanna see her more often. girls love being noticed, you just gotta be man enough to take action. go get her tiger rawr!

[AnGeL KiSS 0]

yeah follow kawasu's advice. If there's suddenly an awkward silence... pull off a stupid joke or tell her how pretty she looks today and things should turn out fine ;]

[sexymama1723 0]

Don't go that far if she isn't ready for that. You can still like a person with out having sex with them.I'm so fortunate that I found a man that wasn't into just sex. And God have I dated many like that.So watch how things play out and then take it from there.

[tuddy 0]

Your a shy person, but not shy enough for parties to get blind and smoke?, i tell you, your not that shy then. Find out when she is going to another party, where that party is and get an invite to it. DONT GET DRUNK and talk to her while she is sober, if things get bad, do what i do, drink (more like skull) 7-8 Cans of Red Bear Vodka mmmm yummy, and smoke 20 smokes in one night to wash away your pain, and you won't remember a thing.

[LocalSeer 0]

An update on what I did/happened. I saw her 3 times after that night, and made sure to get drunk(but not totally wasted) before each time. I was able to pull of the usual, ended up getting multiple hugs each time and she would just mess around with me poking fun of me(alot of physical play), however then the fourth time I was completely sober and I froze up cause I didn't know how to talk to her casually. Usually it's not nearly that bad, but after acting foolishly around her using the escuse of alcohol to flirt with her relentlessly, I couldn't muster a normal conversation. End result, we are friends, second time meeting her sober I got some talk going, but couldn't get funny, had some physical flirting, she makes it easy cause I can't help laughing every time she looks at me, and she does it to me every time I stop smilling. However the attraction dropped significantly, and I don't know what to do to reignite it. She will hang out with me almost daily so I still have hope, I just need some confidence to act drunk by her with her knowing i'm not drunk.

[gaea 0]

Hey man, I'm glad you found someone you really like, and I hope it goes well for you. I would raise one note of caution though: don't try to be someone that you're not in order to get her. If you do that things might work out in the short term, but are certainly doomed to fail later on.

 

That being said, you seem like a fun guy...so I wouldn't really worry about just acting like yourself. Take her to a few parties. Just have fun, and try not to take the whole thing too seriously (it'll make you freeze up, and it's a turn off for a lot of girls). Keep in mind that you're supposed to be enjoying yourself as well--so don't spend all your time just trying to make her happy. If you're having fun, there is a good possibility that she will be as well (you certainly seemed to hit it off well when you were completely plastered).

 

As for reigniting the passion between you, try taking her on some real dates (dinner, movie, star-gazing...whatever). If you're worried that asking her out will be too awkward then try doing it when you're drunk (just make sure you're sober for the date ). Remember, you don't have to be blatantly obvious about asking her (i.e. "Hey, do you want to go out sometime?"), though that approach works for some people. I'd suggest just asking her about the types of movies/food/etc she likes, and then when you find something that you both enjoy just slip the question into the conversation (i.e. "Yeah, [name of movie] was completely hilarious! Isn't [name of director] coming out with another film soon? We should defiantly catch it in theatres."). When you do it subtly like that there is no feelings of obligation or awkwardness, and she'll be much much more likely to say yes.

 

Once you're actually on the date try not to worry too much, just have a good time and be yourself. The rest should come naturally (if not, then you might not be compatible to begin with).

 

Best of luck man, lemme know how it turns out.

Edited August 11, 2006 by gaea (see edit history)

[tuddy 0]

WoW, brought a tear to my eye lol. Sounds like your making progress to me though, before you know it though, she could form an opioion about you, that isn't what you like, so make sure you prove yourself now, and not be plastered everytime, she'll probably end up not remembering anyway.

[mikes242 0]

Hey man, sounds like a pretext to alcholisim. No Joke!! Please be carful with the "liquid courage". If you just invent a personality that you think she will like than you will have "created a monster" and when it's discovered that you are not that monster than it will end suddenly. Don't get me wrong I love to drink/party however if alcohol becomes your best (or only) tool than it's time to address what it is about yourself that makes you uneasy around girls.good luck

[s2k6 0]

Just call her up, be nice, talk to her in a nice way, maybe use a love poem(see mine). She'll be in yo bed I guarantee.