Liking A Good Friend do I tell her?

[rejected 0]

I like one of my really good friends, and I'm going to call her H in this post. H and I have known each other for almost a year now, and I met her through one of my exs, who is still one of her close friends. I talk to H on the phone on a daily basis, and we go to the mall or movies to hang out around two to three times a week, but usually with three or four other people there "hanging out" as well. I don't know if she thinks of me as a close friend only, or as a friend that could be more. I like her more than a friend, but I don't know if the feeling is mutual.Should I keep my feelings hidden or should I tell her? If I tell her, I might not even be a friend to her.. things could get very awkward. And, another bad thing, she might think it was even more weird because I dated one of her close friends.Please give me some advice.. thank you!

[tuddy 0]

Does she call you? or you call her. Do you think she talks to you openly?, have you tried just going out somewhere together to the movies or smething?I guess the only way you feeling are going to know is look at her body laugage and see how she acts around you, if she 'muck' around or something?Or just ask one of 'your and her' friends to make some quiet enquiry as to what she thinks about you one time and then just see where it goes from there. There isn't much you can do but take a gamble, depending how much you like her?

[rejected 0]

Does she call you? or you call her. Do you think she talks to you openly?, have you tried just going out somewhere together to the movies or smething?

 

 

She calls me the majority of the time, but I probably call her twice a week when I'm bored. We went to the movies last night and the night before, but like I said, there are always other people there hanging out, too, so I don't know if she is there to hang out with everyone else or what..

 

 

 

I guess the only way you feeling are going to know is look at her body laugage and see how she acts around you, if she 'muck' around or something?

 

I don't think so.. she's usually really happy I guess, but I don't know how she acts when she isn't around me

 

Or just ask one of 'your and her' friends to make some quiet enquiry as to what she thinks about you one time and then just see where it goes from there. There isn't much you can do but take a gamble, depending how much you like her?

216722[/snapback]

Thanks, maybe I will see what one of her friends have to say.. and I like her too much to just throw away a friendship by telling her that I like her.. I'd rather be friends than have an awkwardness around us all of the time.

[tuddy 0]

If your both calling each other, then it shows a mutaul interest both ways, she wouldn't call you if she didn't aleast think you were a good friend. I guess the only next thing you can really do is see what her friends think, who knows girl better then her girl friends hey? Just be careful as to how you go about asking things, cause if they go back and talk to her, it in affect may just cause trouble.You say her to much to throw the friendship away for awkwardness, do you like her as a friend, or so much you want her more then a friend and you just afraid of losing her so, so not willing to take the gamble. I think abit of both, to me she sounds like a nice girl, just take her out one time, without anyone else or fewer and fewer people each time.

[phx777 0]

you dont really need to ask someone if she loves you you can allways observe the way she looks at you, the way she behaves, etc. Also in this situations, a very good way to try it out.. is to go hang out somewhere, and start talking about girls.... if shes just a friend you can watch girls together and she wount mind, while you probably should be able to notice if you see she doesent like you thinking and talking about others,... in this case you can allways tell her the truth about why you did this,... and im sure it should work out ok =Dthere is a simple way of just taking a risk and telling how you feel, it shouldnt break a good friendship up if the feeling isnt mutual....

[Avalon 1]

While it's not unusual to not know how to handle this situation, this post makes a very good point about this very thing. http://forums.xisto.com/topic/32090-dont-be-late-to-tell-someone-that-you-love-them-tell-herhim-you-love-them/

The question is, when is the right time to tell someone you want more than friendship? I don't think anyone can really tell you, you'll have to use your instinct to know when the time is right. Perhaps you could ask H this, "Do you think it would spoil our friendship if we started dating?" A friend will give you an honest answer.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

[Rena 0]

Don't say anything to her if you aren't sure. As you said, she can stop talking to you or start acting different. It's not worth it.Give her hints about the way you feel. Mostly in a joking-like way and see how she reacts. Unlike everybody would say, it's easy to notice someone likes you. Maybe a bit harder if it's your friend but still.Good luck.(I'm a girl btw)

[callum 0]

The best thing you can do is just stay friends with her - she'll know whether you like her or not, so if she wants to go out with you, then she'll probably make it blatantly obvious. Like another poster said, read her body language and if your not too good at interpereting body language, then compare it to one of your other female friends. The way she acts around you should indicate whether she wants to be more than just good friends though.

 

My advice is, if you're not entirely sure she doesn't want to you ask her out, then don't. Remain good friends. Its better that you grow close by just being good friends and developing an even stronger relationship than if you just out with her once or twice and then broke it off, never to act the same around each other again; or, as you said, for her just to say 'no' and then you two both being too embarrassed to talk to each other like friends again.

 

You could probably get better advice at http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/ - its a forum site more aimed at the love/relationship lives of teenagers. There you should find similar post like this and what other people have to say about dating a good friend.

 

Callum

[unicornrose 0]

Sometimes if a girl likes a guy she touches him alot. You know hitting him and grabbing his arm when she is telling him something. When you guys are going to the movies does she always sit by you? You said when you go you end up hanging out with other people. Do you have other movie theaters you can go to that those people are not hanging out at? Do you share popcorn at the movies. If you get a large popcorn and are sharing it and your hands end up in there at the same time try to accidentally on purpose hold her hand. Hold it loosly so that if she is uncomfortable with the idea then she can remove her hand. If she is interested she may keep it there. If you go to a movie that is sad and she starts crying you could put your arm around her and comfort her. If she stays comfortably against you after the asd part she might like you too. Telling her is really the best thing to do though. You could start out by saying, "I really enjoy our friendship and would never want to ruin it." Then you could say, "I think that you are a special person, I find myself thinking of you often. Would you consider deepening our friendship and possibly dating (going out)?" You can try the hypothetical approach too. You could say I have a hypothetical question for you. Then you tell her Hypothetically would you ever consider dating me? There are many ways to do it. You could also ask her what she thinks of you. You can also ask her if she likes you more than friends. You can also try kissing her good night. If you have not already try the cheek first and see how she reacts. There are some ideas. I hope you find a way to tell her soon. I know how hard it can be to care so much about someone and not know.

[lodd 0]

Treat her like anyone else. Pretend she's a guy for a while for all i care. Now, to get to know a person, u gotta have a conversation with her. So the next time you meet her, in a completely casual voice say that"I'm heading to <insert name of cafe or place> after school (or any other time you choose. Weekend is good) to relax and have some tea. You should join me. Ok. Cya then."Then when you meet her for drinks, crack a few jokes, get her smiling. Don't hang out too long. You'll run out of things to say. 20 minutes, 30 minutes tops. Then say that u got an appointment or that u hv to pick up ur brother. Whatever. Don't make any other plans and only call her back a minimum of one day later. Preferably 3. MOST IMPORTANT THING: Limit ur interactions. But make sure that every time u meet, she has a good time. This'll set it in her head that ur a fun guy (which u r). G'luck

[BOAW 0]

i think gettn with a friend is prolly the best way to go cuz i think it has a higher chance to last longer becuase u have a more open relationship...lke u guys r more lkely to say wut u think to the person n ur partner is less likely to feel offended by w.e it may b...thats just wut i think

[serenity 0]

well.. do you guys talk properly like about everything like personal because if you do it shouldnt be hard for you to chat to her about your feelings.. and then you would be able to pick up on anything in the way she responds

[lodd 0]

If she's a good friend, then you've probably joked with her before. In fact, you must be jokin with her all the time. Drop in some dirty jokes and dating jokes once in a while. she might be a li'l surprised at first but she'll get over it.Get her comfortable associating "you" with "boyfriend". Talk to her about how there's this one girl who's been chasing you and you need her advice on how to get the girl to stop. This should make her even closer to you. And not as "just a friend". Then bring her out and spend some time with her. A date? Oh no, i wouldn't call it that. Close though.So yeah, tell her. These should be some good concrete steps that you can take in that direction..

[tuyetmy 0]

Yeah, that really sucks, I feel you. That happened to me once, sometimes you dont wanna say anything because you're scared to ruin the friendship; it'll be awkward. I don't think she cares so much that you were one of her close friend's ex because if she did, you guys werne't be friends still now, right? So I guess that doesn't matter. Well if you guys are such good friends, have you ever hung out just you two alone? Well maybe you should try to flirt with her on a way that shows you have interest in her, and if she flirts back then do something more, like maybe like someone stated; drop in some dirty jokes and dateing jokes sometimes to see how she reacts.

[Peaktao 0]

If your both calling each other, then it shows a mutaul interest both ways, she wouldn't call you if she didn't aleast think you were a good friend.

I agree.
She must be somewhat interested in you.

I think, however, that she might feel a bit awkward to date someone her close friend has dated.
I don't know....It used to happen in my school..when a guy dated a girl (I'm calling this person girl1)...and after they broke up for a while, that guy then dated another girl(girl2), who is a close friend of girl 1...

Then girl 1 got very upset after that.