How To Get Out Of Love? Im in real distress

[vistal 0]

I'm doing telecommunication engg. in Pakistan. I'm fallen in love with a girl. She's my class fellow. I was and still very uncomfortable talking to her because I always get nervous in front of her. I can't tell u how I managed to tell her abt I love her, but it gave me a real tough time doin' all this and of course! it took a long time.But now when I've discussed all this with her, and even she also unhided the thing that she's also involved in me, the problem is that we two can't be together due to some reasons in both of our familys' religious background. So when we both know the fact that our Love won't be able to reach its final destination, we've decided to remain as just sincere friends, BUT I can't forget that I loved her too much more than anybody else. She means to me a lot.I wanna know your opinion what should I do now to erase my memory in which she's got too much space. I feel like I'm destroying my life for what I can't get. Can you sort my problem out...?

[Togi 0]

..you love eachother.. but can't do anything about it? o.o Ha, good luck ;.;...I actually have two guys who claim to be in love with me, although they both know, and have known, that I'm happily dating someone else.One of them had decided that the best course of action was to ignore me flat-out, until he no longer thought of me every day.. but that only lasted a week.. now he's decided to be my friend, and just let time take care of letting him fall out of love..The other decided to find some reason to hate me, fight with me, something.. so he'd be too mad to love me. That plan also died after a week.. he couldn't find anything to be mad enough about to kill off the love, so.. he's also going to just remain friends with me, if he can ^^;..I really don't think there's a good way to fall out of love. Maybe things are different in.. Pakistan? ..but I couldn't imagine just sitting back and watching love die.. for anything...they say time heals all wounds, though..

[Saint_Michael 3]

its the classic romeo and juliet situation but of course you don't need do what they did at the end of the story, thats the problem with people to especially with families that are strict when its comes to religion the middle eastern religions really has a problem with that.Well best suggestion i could give is talk to the families (that will be the hard part) and just tell them how you feel.

[saga 0]

the solution is realy in you. You r not just willing to forget here. In that case fight for it.. if you can't, then try to move on... but of course its a process that time can only tell when it will it end... but time does heal wounds although somtimes it takes a lot than you expect it to be.....

[calkid 0]

I wanna know your opinion what should I do now to erase my memory in which she's got too much space. I feel like I'm destroying my life for what I can't get. Can you sort my problem out...?

207673[/snapback]

let me tell you something my friend....when you find something in life that makes you happy, you need to hang on to it and work hard to keep it. i understand that family religious background would be an interference in your relationship, but nobody....NOBODY can tell you what makes YOU happy and what YOU deserve in this life. i know that family and friends are the easiest to be loyal to and the easiest to be influenced by, but ULTMATELY, it is YOU who decided what you want in your life. nobody controls it but you. even our gods allow us to make our own decisions in this world.

 

so with that said, you need to think long and hard in how much this girl means to you and how big of a mountain you are willing to climb with her. it may be the hardest struggle, so will it be worth it when you have her in the end? maybe not? are you unsure? if you have children, what religion will this child be raised? alot to think about, yes...including family pressure and them disowning you or you disowning them for their own disrespect in not respecting the one you love. is it worth it? if she's the ONE and you two connect in such a way that it seems like it's been 3 lifetimes until you found someone like her, then you have a big choice to make.

 

remember, we live our lives to learn and to become better people. if life was perfect, we would not have anything else to learn now would we. there's a reason why life is full of struggles. it's so we can overcome and learn and become stronger for it and this is what we carry on to our next lifetime. a better person.

 

maybe she isn't the ONE. in any case, know your soul and follow it without regret.

 

now i will answer your simple question you asked....you will NEVER erase or forget ANYONE you love or have loved. if you decide not to be with her, the best thing you can do is have some support from your friends and/or family and ALWAYS keep busy. the more you keep busy, the less time you have to think about her. also, don't do anything stupid like end your life. you would have been better off fighting for her than doing that. time allows people to deal with pain when eventually, time will heal pain.

 

don't EVER regret your decision, whatever you choose(to be with her or not) you need to make a decision that YOU know is the right one. don't ever live in regret because that is almost like dying. if you know it is the right decision, you will never have any reason to hurt inside as much as you are stating that you are destroying your life.

Notice from rejected:

Fixed the BBcode for you!

[vistal 0]

Thnx! a lot. I actually wanted to share my problem to get different opinions about what others say.'calkid' wrote a lot about my issue & yes after reading all this, I'm in a better position to handle the situation I'm currently facing. To remain busy in other works won't give me too much time to think about her. And may be, one day I'll just forget all the past events and start considering her only one of my best fellows.Thanx again for providing me with your impacting suggestions. Hope I overcome all of my problems.

[ongnoai 0]

Hi there,A newbie of sorts, and I need credits to get to free hosting. Nonetheless, I genuinely enjoy talking about this matter.I'd rather be supportive of calkid's assessment on how to face a stuation of forgetting a beloved person but for one critical point: there is no such thing as really knowing if the person whom you decorated with so many charms and qualities is actually the REAL thing, or rather a figment of your imagination.Now, I'm over 60. Tell you, it's quite enough time to fall in love with a girl or two, or more. I mean, REALLY be in love. Funny thing is I've never forgotten them, whatever I tried and tricked about that. Rather, what happened is time had a way to show me who the REAL person was and that never exactly duplicated what my imagination told me they were. Believe me, I'm not being pessimistic. On the contrary. Time is the only good healer. Besides, it feels real good to recall beautiful memories about persons who couldn't possibly match my expectations, but triggered them all the same. That's what counts, friend. It's the only thing religions and prejudices cannot claim upon your inner self: your liberty to enjoy someone's way of being. Pretty much prevents you from getting annoyingly self-centered, right?Aloha

[calkid 0]

it feels real good to recall beautiful memories about persons who couldn't possibly match my expectations, but triggered them all the same. That's what counts, friend. It's the only thing religions and prejudices cannot claim upon your inner self: your liberty to enjoy someone's way of being. Pretty much prevents you from getting annoyingly self-centered, right?

 

Aloha

207799[/snapback]

well said. i'm 37 and been in love 3 times in the past. i've been through the pain, but most importantly, i've been through the pleasures. each one was different and unique and each one had something different to offer me that i will always remember. and you are right....how do you know if she's the one? people talk about meeting their "soul mate" but what about differentiating that with "soul friends" who aren't in your life as long but take something with you from that relationship nonetheless.

 

me, i found my soul mate. someone who i am very compatable with. even our differences are compatable because in the areas i am weak in, she is strong and visa versa and we learn from eachother and grow closer doing just that. it's been the hardest relationship i have EVER been in climbing many obstacles just to make every effort to be with her. i've been to hell and back with her, but i would do it all over again.

 

the reason why i bring this up is because i know that if i didn't meet my past loves and didn't go through the devestating breakups(and it's always devestating no matter who breaks up with who) and all the good that was offered me in those relationships, i would have NEVER been able to succeed in the one i'm in now. why i always tell people to concentrate on what they HAVE rather than what they don't have because maybe what they don't have is meant to be for something more positive and GREAT in the future.

 

there is nothing more devestating than the loss of a loved one where you cannot continue to share your love, BUT there is nothing more exhilerating when you finally realize that you are a stronger and better person than you were in the past.

 

-aaron

[sandeep89 0]

yolet me ask you something m8...how many times do you fall in love with someone and have that love in return? sometimes, the hardest part of falling in love is letting it go, but then love is where you would surpass any challenge, climb over any obstacle and do what it takes to make it work. the only way to get out of love is to get out of life, coz love is a natural part of it. you should not try and erase your memory, make it work. in my opinion, you owe it to you, and 2 the person you love to make it work.religion is an extremely hard thing to get past, people can prove to be amazingly arrogant and not allow their beliefs to be broken or altered in circumstances such as this. you need to talk to them, MAKE them see that its meant to be

Edited April 5, 2006 by sandeep89 (see edit history)

[Wilson Cook 0]

Something everyone is forgetting is how much religion and family matter to you as well. It could just be an infatuation. This is a 2 month old post, I am curious at to what happened with you vistal? Can you please give us an update on your situation

[Johnny 1]

Interesting post. I also have a hard time falling "out" of love, much much harder than falling into it, so I probably couldn't answer the question. =/

[stephanie 0]

If you are both in love with eachother you going to let that go just because you have diferent religious backgrounds???? that is so not right!!! do you know how hard it is to find someone you really like and who likes you too? i mean,in this days that is really difficult! so why do you have to let her go and forget about her? no,don't do it,fight. but if you really think you must forget her then i guess the best way is to go as far as you can from her and try to get out,meet new people and find another girl. try to "replace" her. not the elegant solution but sometimes it work.

[lawmatchmaker 0]

I'm doing telecommunication engg. in Pakistan. I'm fallen in love with a girl. She's my class fellow. I was and still very uncomfortable talking to her because I always get nervous in front of her. I can't tell u how I managed to tell her abt I love her, but it gave me a real tough time doin' all this and of course! it took a long time.
But now when I've discussed all this with her, and even she also unhided the thing that she's also involved in me, the problem is that we two can't be together due to some reasons in both of our familys' religious background. So when we both know the fact that our Love won't be able to reach its final destination, we've decided to remain as just sincere friends, BUT I can't forget that I loved her too much more than anybody else. She means to me a lot.

I wanna know your opinion what should I do now to erase my memory in which she's got too much space. I feel like I'm destroying my life for what I can't get. Can you sort my problem out...?

My honest openion is that if you allow religious differences to get between your love for the girl, I'm afraid to tell you that the love you have for her is not very strong. If you really love her that much, you will think of any way around the family objections due to religion, even to the extent of running away with her, but of course that is an extreme for of expression but it shows that the love is more powerful than the objections. However, if you think that the family problems are more important than the love, than I can assure you that with time passin you will feel less and less for her as it is not really love in the first place.

[christynokc 0]

Its harder to fall out of love with someone than it is to fall in love with someone. Youre going to feel things that you never thought you could feel, and youll probably see people or smell scents that remind you of her. Time heals all wounds, but no wound is deeper than a wound caused by love. Keep a full heart and exploring mind and all things will work out for the best. Good luck on finding that special someone. Theyre out there, probably going through something similar as you, waiting for their prince charming to come take her away. Your paths just havent met yet, but when they do, youll forget all about oh whats her name.....

[iGuest 3]

love??/

How To Get Out Of Love?

 

Hello dear friendss ..

 

I am 22 .. Been in love twice first time got over it.. Cause I thought maybe this wasn't love.. Second girl I meet after a couple of months .. When I first saw her .. She looks 18...

 

Some one introduced us at work.( the mall) and then that night she called me we started talking.. Anyway even though I kept telling my self "I am not gonna do it .. Shes not all that.."

 

I still fell in love with this girl.. But I didn't know if it was the right time for marriage.. Since I am only 22 .. And I have only known her for about 6 months.. Her parents wanted her to get marriage because shes old enough now..

 

I couldn't ask for time because I still wasn't sure if this was the right girl.. But she ended up going to Pakistan and getting married ... I was sad but I kept my self strong.. And tried to move on.. Didn't work.. She came back and I was in love even deeper ..

 

And now I wanna marry her but shes already married.. She was staying wit her mother because she didn't wanna move in with her husband since she doesn't like him... Now after 4 months of living with her mom she moved to her husbands house... And I STILL LOVE HER..

 

And I know she does too .. But she acts like she doesn't .. I know shes gonna just give up and accept the life her parents chose for her..

 

What should I do?? long story I know sorry but I really need advice?? because I cant get her out of my mind.. I get dirty thoughts about her and her husband that I do not enjoy .. Due to that I am doing poor at work.. And social life please please reply to this thank you

 

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