Ever Feel Like A Loser? Are girls in college better?

[zach101 0]

Sup guys this year I will be a junior in HS and well I really want it to be different than the previous two years. You see I was home schooled through eighth grade. So most of my friends ive known for only two years, not that that isn?t long enough its just so many of my friends have gone to school with there gf?s since first grade. But mainly what it means is that my social skills arnt exactly up to par with the rest resulting that im sorta shy around girls. Ive never had a gf, and until the other day I thought that was fine but I went to a friend of my siters wedding. It was awesome I danced with some girls that were just awesome, sure they were 22, 19 and 21 but it was fun and I think they enjoyed it as well. I also felt I said the right things. They asked me what I was into I talked about my self for a bit but I dint hesitate to also talk about them as well, and I never let that awkard silence enter. That night was aweseome but the next day I sorta felt worse in a way I was happy I had a good time but in another aspect I looked at in the fact that its been two years and I still haven?t gone to a HS dance. And I started to wonder what ive been missing and that I should get a gf. But when I think about the girls in my school there nothing but a bunch of preppy skanks. I think I should wait and let life ride. Is college better? God it cant be worse all the chicks in my school just seem like a bunch of snobbish *BLEEP*es. Im getting my license next week so that should be nice. Any tips on making this school year different? Should I go to dances even though I really don?t like the girls in my school? And is it a really bad idea to go to a school dance with out a date? I guess I feel like a loser because after dancing with those chicks I feel like I DO have the skills to communicate with the opposite sex and its just the girls my age are mostly soo immature and never think farther than when the next time they can fix there make up is. Any advice/tips? Is it wrong to just blow girls off for a bit or will that just be hindering my verbal skills/ body language skills for college?

[Johnny 1]

Trust me...here, I'm Johnny, the "personality" mod, and sig designer extraordinaire, but in real life, I truly am nothing but a loser. =/Hrm...I sorta have the problem...since I was like 9 or so, I've never had any friends for more than a couple years, because I move so much, so I don't know many people, and I'm pretty shy...Needless to say, it's really hard for me to get dates...I've never gone to a dance...not because I'm scared, or didn't have the ability to get a date, just that I'm not a dancer. I dunno if it's okay to go without a date, but I'd say try to get one just in case. :unsure:Can't help you on the college thing, since I'll be turning a senior in HS next year...I feel your pain though bro...I want this next year to be different as well...I don't want to be the lonely senior, you know? And there's this girl I go on dates with and such, but meh...I'm having trouble taking it any farther than that... =/But meh...I'm gonna need to hook up with some friends like, speedystyle. :DBut that's kinda hard, because I'm really shy unless I know the person, but BECAUSE I'm so shy, it's kinda tough to get to know and befriend people. So usually, I'm only friends with people because they talk to ME first. You know what I mean?

Edited July 6, 2005 by Johnny (see edit history)

[Milovoriel 0]

God it cant be worse all the chicks in my school just seem like a bunch of snobbish *BLEEP*es

the girls in my school there nothing but a bunch of preppy skanks

See now you're going to have to change that attitude for a start .... trust me when I tell you that these girls are probably going through just as much *#it as you are .... the pressures on girls your age are just awful.

 

I'm old, very old .... but I can still remember what it was like being an adolecent girl and it was a nightmare .... however, believe me when I tell you that it's a temporary state and relationships in general can be much easier the older you get .... of course then you have different pressures on you, but that's another story.

 

You have to give girls a chance, remember they're not the enemy .... so be open and friendly .... I know it's hard to develope inner confidence at your age, but the more at ease you are with yourself, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex .... the majority of women are more interested in a guys character that the way he looks .... you may scoff at this, but look around you .... how many of the adults that you know are living with stunning partners, not flippin' many I bet .... as you age, you become less shallow .... if we all waited around for the perfect "prince", we'd have died out as a species long ago ....

 

I'm pretty sure that the "preppy skanks" of today, will be fine women of tomorrow .... we all grow up .... and school thankfully becomes a distant nightmare .... so drop the negativity, it'll get you nowwhere in life .... be patient and open to people .... develope your own inner confidence and you will be attractive to girls/women .... and never think of yourself as a "loser" .... youth is a precious commodity .... unfortunately we only seem to realise this when it's long gone .... enjoy it while you have it ....

 

I wish you well!

[Cool_Freaker 0]

Ive never had a gf,  and until the other day I thought that was fine but I went to a friend of my siters wedding.  It was awesome I danced with some girls that were just awesome, sure they were 22, 19 and 21 but it was fun and I think they enjoyed it as well. I also felt I said the right things.  They asked me what I was into I talked about my self for a bit but I dint hesitate to also talk about them as well, and I never let that awkard silence enter.  That night was aweseome but the next day I sorta felt worse in a way I was happy I had a good time but in another aspect I looked at in the fact that its been two years and I still havent gone to a HS dance.  And I started to wonder what ive been missing and that I should get a gf. 

I've wondered that too, I've never had a gf either, especially now a lot of my friends are in relationships, or at least have previously been in one. I'm definitely in the minority at this stage, which really does make one wonder - "Am I socially uncapable?". Honestly, though, I don't I am, and clearly you aren't (after you did socialise well with girls at the wedding), so it may be just a matter of waiting for the right one.

Any tips on making this school year different? Should I go to dances even though I really dont like the girls in my school? And is it a really bad idea to go to a school dance with out a date? I guess I feel like a loser because after dancing with those chicks I feel like I DO have the skills to communicate with the opposite sex and its just the girls my age are mostly soo immature and never think farther than when the next time they can fix there make up is. 

Yes, it is bad to go to a school dance without a date, unless you have a definite group of friends who will go with you, and also don't have dates. I just had my formal (bit like a less hyped up Prom) several weeks ago, and it was terrible. First, my *friends* moved me off their table, as I was the odd one out once they all got partners (and at the beginning we were going solo ). Then, I didn't even get to sit next to random chicks, but with someone who was complaining how he didn't want to sit at my table - geez, I mean it's not like I wanted to either . So unless you can plan otherwise, dances/functions need a date - just someone to talk to really, so your night isn't a waste/boring.

I don't think you should feel like a loser though (especially if they are that bad), but you should try to get to know the girls your age better. I highly doubt all of them are as immature as you say. Perhaps you've been trying the wrong crowd?

[Joshua 0]

Sup guys this year I will be a junior in HS and well I really want it to be different than the previous two years.  You see I was home schooled through eighth grade.  So most of my friends ive known for only two years,  not that that isnt long enough its just so many of my friends have gone to school with there gfs since first grade.  But mainly what it means is that my social skills arnt exactly up to par with the rest resulting that im sorta shy around girls.  Ive never had a gf,  and until the other day I thought that was fine but I went to a friend of my siters wedding.  It was awesome I danced with some girls that were just awesome, sure they were 22, 19 and 21 but it was fun and I think they enjoyed it as well. I also felt I said the right things.  They asked me what I was into I talked about my self for a bit but I dint hesitate to also talk about them as well, and I never let that awkard silence enter.  That night was aweseome but the next day I sorta felt worse in a way I was happy I had a good time but in another aspect I looked at in the fact that its been two years and I still havent gone to a HS dance.  And I started to wonder what ive been missing and that I should get a gf.  But when I think about the girls in my school there nothing but a bunch of preppy skanks.  I think I should wait and let life ride.  Is college better? God it cant be worse all the chicks in my school just seem like a bunch of snobbish *BLEEP*es.  Im getting my license next week so that should be nice.  Any tips on making this school year different? Should I go to dances even though I really dont like the girls in my school? And is it a really bad idea to go to a school dance with out a date? I guess I feel like a loser because after dancing with those chicks I feel like I DO have the skills to communicate with the opposite sex and its just the girls my age are mostly soo immature and never think farther than when the next time they can fix there make up is.  Any advice/tips? Is it wrong to just blow girls off for a bit or will that just be hindering my verbal skills/ body language skills for college?

158091[/snapback]

I'd highly suggest you don't just start dating because "everyone else is doing it," that's got to be one of the worst reasons to do something. Comparison is the enemy of contentment. Just be friends with people, don't get into serious relationships with people you don't even like, and until you know you can handle a simple friendship relationship with someone don't try to take it any farther than that.

 

Once you try moving past a friendship relationship with anyone the possibilities of jealousies and commitments whether formalized or not enter the equation, and it may mess with your judgment. Just content yourself with being friends and if you really get along well with a girl as a friend then maybe you can consider it as dating. Just my thoughts.

[GEORGiQ 0]

Man, you surely need to start dating. You have to tell wemen what they like to hear from you, make compliments & stuff but don't exagerate, you must have style, you must know how to learn, have a nice parfume and stuff like this. And than... courage and everything will be ok.Good luck!

[psychiccyberfreak 0]

See now you're going to have to change that attitude for a start .... trust me when I tell you that these girls are probably going through just as much *#it as you are .... the pressures on girls your age are just awful.

 

I'm old, very old .... but I can still remember what it was like being an adolecent girl and it was a nightmare .... however, believe me when I tell you that it's a temporary state and relationships in general can be much easier the older you get .... of course then you have different pressures on you, but that's another story.

 

You have to give girls a chance, remember they're not the enemy .... so be open and friendly .... I know it's hard to develope inner confidence at your age, but the more at ease you are with yourself, the more attractive you are to the opposite sex .... the majority of women are more interested in a guys character that the way he looks .... you may scoff at this, but look around you .... how many of the adults that you know are living with stunning partners, not flippin' many I bet .... as you age, you become less shallow .... if we all waited around for the perfect "prince", we'd have died out as a species long ago ....

 

I'm pretty sure that the "preppy skanks" of today, will be fine women of tomorrow .... we all grow up .... and school thankfully becomes a distant nightmare .... so drop the negativity, it'll get you nowwhere in life .... be patient and open to people .... develope your own inner confidence and you will be attractive to girls/women .... and never think of yourself as a "loser" .... youth is a precious commodity .... unfortunately we only seem to realise this when it's long gone .... enjoy it while you have it ....

 

I wish you well!

158124[/snapback]

I feel for him, my school has barely any selection. They are all either tomboys (which I hate) or punks (which none of them like me, not that I know of anyway) so, even though I'm a pretty cool guy, I pretty much can't stay local, so that's why I travel alot.

[kwapster 0]

i think the best advice you could possibly get is to be yourself.if you know you're a dork be a dork,you're a pimp be a pimp but no sense in pretending to be someone you're not.

[elevenmil 0]

Well, here's what I can tell you...

 

First off, I may be the only current college student to reply to this thread so far, so you'll get a new viewpoint on your debate.

 

I'm now a junior in college, and I remember those days back in highschool like it was yesterday, yet it's been so long. The thing that really gets me though is this, and I don't want to offend all of the highschoolers here because this won't apply to everyone, but I look at the kids in highschool today and I wonder, (Darn, was I that freakin' immature back then???). You ask if the girls will be different in college, and the answer is yes. But, in fact, you as well will be different, and you won't even notice it at first.

 

Trust me, the highschool years are special times, and actually, I would do just about anything to go back in time and live the experience again for a day or two. That's just it though, a DAY OR TWO. The best years are ahead of you my friend.

 

I don't think I got to my main point in replying to this. I think I should maybe make it just a little clearer for all of you - enjoy life. Take it one day at a time. Don't stress out about things so much. I had many friends who were girls, but I never had a girlfriend in high school. In fact, I never wanted a girlfriend in highschool. The only mature part about me back then was the fact that I realized that having a girl during those years was a waste of time and money, because in the end we all move on to college and whatnot, and from there you begin a new life. So I say to you now don't worry about getting a girl, don't worry about everyone else having one. Be yourself and things will turn for the better, and if not, everything changes when you go to college. Everyone is new and looking for a friend, and the girls realize their new long distance relationship isn't worth it, so BANG!, lots of women will be there for the taking...but for now develop a likeable personality and get some confidence, geez, girls don't want guys who call themselves a "loser", so delete that from your vocabulary.

 

Cherish the moments you have at this point in your life. You're in the beginning stage of what I think are the best years of one's life. Live life, be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and enjoy the ride...

[leiaah 0]

Well there are times when I feel like I'm still not over high school. I still feel insecure and even paranoid that I think people are talking about me. The most important thing I guess is to remember that THE WORLD DOESN'T REVOLVE AROUND YOU and that these people don't really think about you that much. They have problems of their own too and they have things that keep them busy. About the dating bit, I'm a girl and I've been to school dances in high school but I didn't (still don't) get the boys that I want. I doesn't help also that I can be ridiculously shy and timid at times and boys sometimes see me as ICY COLD and ALOOF. I hope things get better for you (for all of us, let's be optimistic).

[Johnny 1]

Well, here's what I can tell you...

 

First off, I may be the only current college student to reply to this thread so far, so you'll get a new viewpoint on your debate.

 

I'm now a junior in college, and I remember those days back in highschool like it was yesterday, yet it's been so long.  The thing that really gets me though is this, and I don't want to offend all of the highschoolers here because this won't apply to everyone, but I look at the kids in highschool today and I wonder, (Darn, was I that freakin' immature back then???).  You ask if the girls will be different in college, and the answer is yes.  But, in fact, you as well will be different, and you won't even notice it at first.

 

Trust me, the highschool years are special times, and actually, I would do just about anything to go back in time and live the experience again for a day or two.  That's just it though, a DAY OR TWO.  The best years are ahead of you my friend.

 

I don't think I got to my main point in replying to this.  I think I should maybe make it just a little clearer for all of you - enjoy life.  Take it one day at a time.  Don't stress out about things so much.  I had many friends who were girls, but I never had a girlfriend in high school.  In fact, I never wanted a girlfriend in highschool.  The only mature part about me back then was the fact that I realized that having a girl during those years was a waste of time and money, because in the end we all move on to college and whatnot, and from there you begin a new life.  So I say to you now don't worry about getting a girl, don't worry about everyone else having one.  Be yourself and things will turn for the better, and if not, everything changes when you go to college.  Everyone is new and looking for a friend, and the girls realize their new long distance relationship isn't worth it, so BANG!, lots of women will be there for the taking...but for now develop a likeable personality and get some confidence, geez, girls don't want guys who call themselves a "loser", so delete that from your vocabulary.

 

Cherish the moments you have at this point in your life.  You're in the beginning stage of what I think are the best years of one's life.  Live life, be what you want to be, do what you want to do, and enjoy the ride...

159610[/snapback]

Hm...puts things in a new light. Good points in there. I'll keep that advice in mind. Guess you should do the same Zach.

 

Also, previously mentioned girl shed some new light on my situation as well. Changed things up a bit.

 

Basically she told me I need to stop being so quiet and lonely all the time. Share my feelings, thoughts, problems. Be more open and social.

 

So I think I'll work on my own life for now, instead of flipping out over a girl that'll still be around for a few more years...

 

And if it's meant to be, it'll happen eventually, right?

 

So yeah, I'm feeling a lot better today. Renewed confidence and direction, I s'pose. ^-^

[rejected 0]

My suggestion to you is yes, go to dances even if you don't like them. You may discover that they aren't as bad as you thought, or they were only acting like that because they didn't know you.

 

I don't know if college girls are better or not, I'm still in high school

 

I've never really feel like a loser. Maybe every once in a while when I realize that I've been sitting at my computer for over a couple hours straight, but that's pretty much it. I'm not a very shy guy, I'm pretty outgoing, and obnoxious.

 

You could always hook up with girls that don't go to your school, and I know a couple people that have had online relationships that have resulted in a long term real life relationship.

 

You can always go to a dance without a date, I always go to dances if I'm single or going with my gf.

Trust me...here, I'm Johnny, the "personality" mod, and sig designer extraordinaire, but in real life, I truly am nothing but a loser. =/

 

Hrm...I sorta have the problem...since I was like 9 or so, I've never had any friends for more than a couple years, because I move so much, so I don't know many people, and I'm pretty shy...

 

Needless to say, it's really hard for me to get dates...

 

I've never gone to a dance...not because I'm scared, or didn't have the ability to get a date, just that I'm not a dancer. I dunno if it's okay to go without a date, but I'd say try to get one just in case.

 

Can't help you on the college thing, since I'll be turning a senior in HS next year...

 

I feel your pain though bro...I want this next year to be different as well...I don't want to be the lonely senior, you know? And there's this girl I go on dates with and such, but meh...I'm having trouble taking it any farther than that... =/

 

But meh...I'm gonna need to hook up with some friends like, speedystyle.

 

But that's kinda hard, because I'm really shy unless I know the person, but BECAUSE I'm so shy, it's kinda tough to get to know and befriend people. So usually, I'm only friends with people because they talk to ME first. You know what I mean?

158110[/snapback]

No way! Johnny boy is shy?!

 

I know how you feel somewhat though. I've been moving around every two or three years because my father is in the Navy. I think that you need to step out with some courage right after your move. I moved to Texas last summer, and after everything was set up, I went out to our community pool and met people. I'm always extra outgoing the first few days of school to let people know that I'm not a shy guy that likes to sit in the corner, but I'm not an obnoxious guy that will disrupt the class every day.

 

Johnny, you don't need to know how to dance! All I ever do at a dance is either slow dance, which anyone can do, or grind. I knew how to slow dance in the first grade lol, I went to a dance and since I went to a k-8 school, the 8th graders started dancing with the cute little kid. They had to get on their knees LOL.

 

You got this Johnny, it seems you just need a little more courage, taking it farther isn't much harder at all.

 

Both of you, most relationships start off by friendships. Try and be more outgoing, talk to the girl who sits next to you in class, make friends first, and then continue from there.

 

EDIT: Haha, fixed Johnny's name <.<

Edited July 12, 2005 by rejected (see edit history)

[Johnny 1]

Lol, rejected, thanks for the advice, but my name has two n's, not two h's. :unsure:Where in Texas did you move?

[rejected 0]

No problem :PI live in a city near Fort Worth, why?

[Johnny 1]

Just wondering. I lived in Houston.