Hakkera
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Everything posted by Hakkera
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Well, things have certainly moved on.She has said to me that she does not want to see me as much, solely because when we starting talking to each other a lot, she starts to have feelings for me again. She is also on about the fact that she overall spends more time with me than with her boyfriend, and she thinks that having feelings for two people at once is too confusing. Fair enough to her, I have said that I will decide upon whether I want to accept this kind of deal or not. Personally, the way I see it is that I have to accept some kind of slap dash half-friendship just for this guy who is not paying all that much attention to her. I have told her that I will make a decision whether we should go on like this, or whether I should cut off all contact with her together, something I am seriously considering. She basically wants to end the contact that we have been having, stop the long late night MSN conversations, no texts, no phonecalls etc. I'm not at all sure I want that at all, I have plenty of half friends, I don't need another. When I mentioned to her that I was considering not talking to her again, it did spark a reaction. She doesn't want this, she basically ended up in tears on multiple occasions (so I've heard) as she "Doesn't know what she'd do without me" I have very little idea on what I am going to do, one of the things I am considering is giving her some kinda of ultimatum. Id Est; We are either proper friends, or not friends at all.Anyone else got any thoughts?
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Well, I have actually gone to see a professional councellor about this to try and sort it out, she recommended some potion that would at least numb the feeling, it does that a little, but numbs all feelings, given the choice though I take it. Other than this, I did not really get that much out of it, there were a lot of silences where I was expecting something to be said. I dont know, maybe I expected too much, but thats another issue all together. Personally, I really do not think she's interested, a while ago, from what I hear, her and her boyfriend had an argument about not seeing each other that much, (something I did a lot.) They seemed a little distant for a few days, but today in particular they seemed quite close. We are starting to spend more time together, 4 hour phone calls from midnight etc. There are some strange things that I just do not get though, she says things like she could "not imagine speaking to me nearly every day" whenever I bring up the subject of going away for a period of time in which I will not have any contact with her. To be honest, I dont know what I am gonna do still, I have about a month to decide, as the summer holidays commence then. I have the choice of whether to see her or not, she says that "we will have to make arrangements to" But I am not so sure of this. It is getting to the stage whereby now she is starting to annoy me, the whole damn situation is starting to annoy me. The way I see it is that if she is the cause of the problem, and If I cut her out completely. [i don't mean not look at her in class or talk to her, I mean completely cut her out, not even have the temtation there, because I will be actively trying to ignore her, and most likely fail.] I can only start doing this in the summer time when she will not be around. It is not guaranteed that this is the way it will turn out, but it is something that I will try. One of the other annoying things that I don't get is that her new boyfriend, from what i can see really doesnt treat her well, he doest wait for her after class, he barely sees her outside of school. It would have been easier if he was good to her, maybe its just from what I see, but I hear she does get annoyed with him at times. I never heard such things about me. Thanks for the replies, keep them coming.
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I am so damn angry now! I can't believe this. Every time I think I am starting to get over her, I get enticed back in by some tidbit she indavertantly says. I get sucked back in and I keep thinking: "well there is a possibilty of us going out again," and I keep starting to fancy her again! AGGH!! So angry! Help please! Any ideas anyone!?
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Indeed, the whole idea of this is far fetched to say the least. But I believe it will happen one day, and it will happen soon, maybe in my life time. Just think, 100 years ago, no one would have thought of a computer. 50 years ago, a computer was made, it needed its own power plant, was the size of a building, ran on valves etc, but it was made. 10-15 years ago, a 166Mhz Processor was all the rage, and a 1GB HD. Now we can potentially have terabytes of storage, and gigahertz of processing power. There is another debate entirely to do with the soul transfer, and the risks. But I think it is possible.
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Indeed, my friend has a certain air about him that commands respect, and I normally ignore his aadvice at my peril, and this to is something I agree with. Forgiving, is certainly something I need to consider, I am not making any decisions until I am completely sure. Putting all my selfish thoughts aside is something that I have to also consider and consider whether if it is worth it for what I would gain from a friendship, if deep down all I want to do is just to get back together, then it is worthless. It wont be something that will happen overnight of course either, but I have to decide whther I want to or not first. Largely there are times of both. When talking to her there are just sometimes that I want her to go away and never come back, then there are the other times, when I wouldnt say that I needed her, but times I would like to have her around. Looking at it, I dont think I spent all that much money on her, I bought her relatively expensive birthday and valentines day presents, and I was the one paying for the coffee all the time, but I dont think that that shows me as materialistic. Which, for the record is something that I am not, I may buy into the whole designer labels thing, but it is only because I care about what my appearance is like, I am not consumed by it. I think it is something that rubbed off on me actually, as she is one for caring what she looks like, (then again, arent all girls like that?) It's just that spending money on myself now does make me feel good about myself, which can only help things the way I see it.EDIT: I just read fffanatic's post.Yes, I guess it is what happens in high school, and that is quite an eloquent way of putting it: She just wasnt the one for me. I hope I do find someone else though, and someone soon, I really miss the attention I got off of her, and the things that we did together, I need someone else to do them with. But on the whole new girlfriend front, I am keeping a very open mind at the minute, for the past 5 years at one time or another I have felt something for another girl, other than feeling something for this girl now, I am open. Which in itself feels quite strange. The strange thing is, since I started paying a lot more attention to her, my friends have changed so much, before they were pretty much all regular guys, now, as I said earlier, many of them are goths, something I will never be. I have tried to increase the number of friends I have by speaking to people from other schools in the area, but I hardly see them every day. It is odd though, people just changing right under my nose and me not noticing.
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Thanks guys,Gaea: Yes, that is certainly something that I have to consider, at the minute, I do not know whether it is better or worse for me to stay friends wit her, so I am not doing anything, like I say, I am not ignoring her, but not actively being friends with her until I have truely made up my mind. The thing is I do not know if I ever really was happy with friends. All the time I was before I just wanted something to happen between us so I don not know if I can live like that. Is it fair on myself?Anwii: Exactly, there is some hostilities between us now that certainly prevent us being as close as we were before, and I do not think those things will go away in the near future by any means. Maybe it is not something that is the best in this situation, but I have been taught by my best friend, a guy who lives by a code of morals (not religious), to forgive, but never forget. The concept of us both being just friends all along is an intriguing one, and entirely understandable. I guess from the persons point of view in each of these cases it does not feel like 'just friends.' But we certainly did some things that friends don't do, even the closest of. If I chose not to be friends with her, it would certainly be very difficult to achieve seeing as I still harbour certain feelings for her. Avoiding her would be difficult; my classes are not arranged in such that I can position myself so she is out of my view, and I have just found out that she will be going to the same college as me and doing 3/4 of the same subjects, at least her new guy is not.Yes, looking at it I can say that I did learn a lot from it, and for the most part it was in nice, small controllable doses, apart from this. Keeping busy is one thing that I have certainly been doing, I have actually been spending an alarmingly large amount of money on myself, where as I guess it used to be spent on her. So basically I spend most of my weekends touring round my citys top branded clothes stores picking up the Armani, Versace etc.. Shame I have no one to do it alongside now, as most of my friends are goths.
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Thanks for the reply; its good to know someone is in a similar situation. I said people who read it deserve a cookie, the whole damn board would be here if I was giving out cookies! After we split, I didnt talk to her for a while, to try and get her out of my life. Most of my friends dont really pass an opinion on this kind of thing, but my best bud is saying never touch her again with a barge pole. She is my ish friend at the minute, I never initiate conversation with her, it is always the other way around. I don't know if she actually cares about me, she seems to really care about what I do, But I dont know if it is normal for her to? It sometimes annoys me how much control she wants over my life. She was the one who threw me out in the cold. Not Me. I dont know if I can get back together with her, or even if I would want to, I love her yes, but there are many other factors in the occasion. Though, we do seem to be getting closer. As of yesterday, we are spending a long time on msn, and texting each other. She has offered to call as well, and she said I could Email her (I am on holiday so I cant write). I dont know if friends is really a good idea though, I always wanted something more than friends when I was going out with her last time so.. I am not ignoring her anymore, I am at least replying to the texts, i am ignoring the phone calls though, and not writing as of yet. I certainly am not going ot get back with her in the near future, she still has her existing boyfriend, and from what I can tell, they are happy enough together.
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I would guess this is the average cut and dry case of what you would expect to find in this forum, but. For the people concerned, every case is different, so please try to bare that in mind.Two years ago, I joined a class with a certain female in, I was drawn to her at first sight. It was shallow, yes, and very stupid, as I did not even know what she was like. One and a half years went by, with me sitting around thinking something was very wrong with myself: I had felt that kind of way about girls before, but over school holidays or something, I had lost interest in them, and moved on. Something was different about her. I had kept the special feeling I had for her, and it was growing worse the more I saw her. Over the holidays all I felt was a need to see her, and was relieved when I got back. I knew that I had to actually talk to her, though I had No self confidence or courage whatsoever back then. I had never had a girlfriend in my life before, and I was going to be awful with females. I acquired her MSN Messenger adress from her friends, who by this time knew that I was interested in her, and they of course, told her such. I knew she knew, but I still started talking to her over MSN in a purely friendly manner. One time we got into a conversation about it, and I admitted that I did have feelings for her. She said that she was very flattered, but that she was not interested. Months passed and we grew closer together, spending 12 hours solid sat on the computer, solely talking to each other. There was never an awkward pause between us. Just becuase I had feelings for her, I did not want to let them get in the way of our friendship. So I kept them restrained, and respected her purely as a friend, a relatively distant one, as although we spent hours on MSN togeher, in real life, we rarely talked as she had social class, which was at the time something I didn't. We had very similar interests, and some of the time I actually spent sat around asking what was going on, we seemed a perfect match for each other. Eventually things changed though, and we sat next to each other in lessons and grew closer and closer to each other, the late night phone calls began, and the text messages. We decided that it would be time for us to go out together, purely as friends, but go out none-the-less. I did not read anything into this at the time, and merely enjoyed the thought of having her over and spending some time with her. So, she came over mine one saturday, both of my parents were in, and the rumours were bound to fly for weeks afterword. She was round so that I could teach her some Photoshop and Dreamweaver, two things that we were both interested in, so I headed smartly for the privicy of my room. I taught her some stuff, then we decided on watching a film. We werent really paying attention to the film that much, more just sitting on my bed, then when the film started properly rolling, she pretty much started laying on me and stuff. It was really weird, and I was really quite confused, but I had wanted that kind of thing to happen for such a long time, so I just rolled with it. She ended up going home when the film had finished, and I was still feeling very confused, and harbouring the mother of all dead arms as she had been laying on it for the past 2 hours. After that we started sending each other emails about questions that we could not really ask each other face to face. Getting to know each other better still. She had really enjoyed coming over it turned out, and in one of her emails saying that we were closer together than her and her exboyfriend ever were, this struck me as odd at the time seeing as we weren't going out. We decided that she should come over again, and she did. My parents were out this time, and we had no films that we wanted to watch. So for 7 hours, we just layed together in my bed, in each others arms, we didn't kiss until the end of the day, then we did, it was annoyingly interrupted by a prank call. It both brought us back to reality, and we stopped, we still lay in each others arms, but no more kissing. After that the letters to each other started. A few weeks later we decided to go out together as boyfriend and girlfriend, something that I couldnt hide my joy at doing, for once, the one thing that I really wanted to happen had. However, there was a guy, that she had known for 5 years, something happened, and he too started to become interested in her, she cheated on me once, but was genuinely sorry, so I let her back in. About a month and a half after we started going out, she wanted to break it up, I couldnt believe it. Literally 12 hours before we were planning what we were going to do together the next day. Prior to this, she had loved me. It was her 16th birthday the day before, and we were happy together then. Something must have happened in those 12 hours. I dont know if this guy made a move or something, ro something changed in her head, but if you love someone, I dont think that it happens that fast.She is now going out with this guy, it happened about 2 days after she left me. She denies that he had anything to do with it, but I dont know if I would trust her. She still wants to be my friend, and still thinks that I am one of her "closest friends" though I dont see how that can be. Staying friends si something I am not sure about. I cannot get over her at all, I see her every day with this guy, and they are all over each other. I just keep feeling that it should be me who is doing that. I cant stand to see them or hear anything about this guy at all. I miss her so much, everything just feels connected to her in some way. I miss the attention that she gave me as well more than anything. I just need to move on, but I cant get over her, does anyone know how to, or get her out of my head. I still love her, I wish I could just turn it off like she did, but I cant; I've tried. I obviously cant talk to her about it so that rules that out, and even if I hint at it, she gets angry.Well there you go, well done to anyone who actually read this, you deserve a cookie. Has anyone got any ideas?
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Master, 1000 BHP is perfectly possible in the real world, if you have the cash. I have heard that it is indeed possible to tune a skyline to over 1000 BHP, and then there is of course the Bugatti Veyron. I adore this game. It is one of the reasons I own a PS2. Yaou cannot really appreciate it until you actually drive a real car at speed, then you see how leagues ahead of everything else it is. The graphics are superb. It has been mentioned about the lack of customisation, but PD are not going in for the 'underground' feel. It would be nice to see some more I admit, but paint customisation is largely irrelevant in such a title as this. There is a wide array of cars to choose from, and each one responds differently, and some are close to their actual counterparts. Something Need for Speed or Forza has never been able to replicate. The soundtrack is a huge matter of opinion, some will like it, some will not. I personally would like to see it hone in on a specific type of music rather than the mish mash it is at the minute. If you like racing games. Get this. It, along with PES 5 are the only reasons I have a PS2
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Thank you for your detailed replies, however I have decided to move my HiFi out of the office and use it for its intended purpose. I have got a hold of some Logitech 5.1 surround speakers, which are just great for blasting out the loud music, and even better for watching films on.
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I normally leave it on for about 72 hours, then give it a rest for a while. My computer needs sleep. The electric bills are an issue, but everything is turned off in my office but the computer. Cooling is not a problem becuase of the trusty water cooling
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Because the speakers are actually quite decent, Surround headsets are useful for gaming, but when I am just relaxing and listening to music, there is not all that much point in wearing a headset. Okay guys, thanks, I will check in town tomorrow to see if I can pick up a cheap amp. I am in the UK, and I am looking on eBay also.
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Hi,I have two large loudspeakers sat on my desk, and they are connected to a HiFi, I personally see this as a bit of a waste of space as I also have to have PC speakers on my desk as well. I would like to connect the PC to these HiFi speakers. I have a 5.1 Headset, and this offers some ports for me to connect in 6 HiFi Speakers. When I connect mine in, they work, but they are very quiet. Seeing as the speakers volume control is on the HiFi itself, I have no way of turning them up externally. Does anyone know of a progrma that I can use to boost the output sound of my computer?
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I like what google has now, but i do wonder where it will all end, will we hae a google OS one day? Or a Google Browser? Who knows? All i really wanted was a good search engine.
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Mine was a P 166MHZ with 16MB of ram... ah those were the days... Its on a skip now Infact, its probably under a landfill site.
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Firefox Or Internet Explorer that is the question...
Hakkera replied to Judman's topic in The Internet
Yup! Firefox all the way baby! thank god for tabbed browsing, coupled with the popup blocker and download manager its a great -
3 Best Favorites Game ? Post your Best Game Here
Hakkera replied to liliano's topic in Computer Gaming
Hmm, difficult. My personal ons are1. Joint Operations2. Freelancer3. San Andreas -
Mtv Music Videos Why are they all gangster rap?
Hakkera replied to underworldskateboards's topic in The Vent
Very well, you have your opinion, though, in my view rap will never be regarded as music. But, we are but men and that is my opinion. Rap indeed though does have a very simple rhythm, though, most of the time it cannot be picked up as it is mainly being sworn over. If you want rhythm go listen to dance music. -
I had a virus that disabled norton, and 137 Viruses got in, and my CPU was crippled, I installed Avast, and amazingly my CPU lived to tell the tale. Now, I get very few, about 1 a month maybe
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Saint_michael, I could not agree more with that post. The large majority of the public thought the Iraq war was wrong, and we should of not gotten involved, I share that opinion.
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Upgraded Internet Speed From 576 Kbps to 2.2 Mbps
Hakkera replied to sonyguy's topic in General Discussion
You would of thought so, but no, im paying ?10 Less now, ahh the internet, gotta love it. -
Flak Cannon for any UT, I Just love that thing, coming in a close second is the lightning gun.. HEADSHOT In Quake, It jsut simply has to be the rocket launcher.. All the way baby!
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Ive heard this as well, I think it is most likely ot be true, as something like this normally circulates out of the rumour mill after a while, whilst this has stuck. So, fingers crossed, we should have RA 3 IN a while! Nothing from EA unfortunately.
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Upgraded Internet Speed From 576 Kbps to 2.2 Mbps
Hakkera replied to sonyguy's topic in General Discussion
The same thing happened to me, although we just switched to 2.2mb service, its so nice to be able to download 200 mb files in 15 minutes, and moan at everyone else for lagging