IMHO

As usual, we had a much larger turkey this year for Christmas than we needed (could't find a smaller one). I decided to make turkey soup and it came out great. I just wish I'd tried it after Thanksgiving too!I roasted the turkey carcass in a 400 degree oven for about half an hour, then I put the pieces into a large stock pot and covered it with water. I added chopped carrots, celery, onions and garlic and let it simmer for about 4 hours. Then I drained it into another pot and saved the solids. I added back in the bits of turkey from the solids and extra turkey that we had sliced from the bird. I also added more carrots, some fresh thyme, a bay leaf and bunch of chopped cilantro (use can use parsley if you don't like cilantro). I boiled the stock until it reduced by about half, added a bunch of salt and pepper, removed the bay leaf and thyme sprigs, then served it over egg noodles with some crusty sourdough bread. Totally delicious! You can try your own variations of this... but it is surely a great way to use up some of that leftover turkey!Happy holidays, everyone.

I was recently diagnosed with rosacea and I'm investigating possible treatment options. My dermatologist gave me something called MetroGel and told me to use it twice a day... she then said I wouldn't see any difference for about a month. I thought there must be something better, so I starting asking friends if they had any experience with it. One person suggested a cream made by Norad, which she says was effective within just a few days. Another person suggested something called Finecea made from azeliac acid, but I've yet to find any information about it online. One doctor's web site said that Norad was not effective, but that Dermalogica was better. These are all expensive products, so the last thing I want to do is buy them all just to see what works.My questions are: Has anyone had any experience with rosacea? If so, what have they found to be an effective treatment? For the women out there, are there specific types of make-up that help minimize the redness?

There's no doubt that the mind is a very powerful instrument. We can cause positive things to happen in our lives and set ourselves up for negative things to happen - just by our attitude and the way we carry ourselves. Yes, people have died in their sleep, but it's unlikely due to a bad dream, unless they had a failing heart and they somehow scared themselves to death. But even that seems like a bit of a stretch.

In my opinion, a crush is a form of love... just temporary. It's the kind of feeling that hits you one day - you start thinking about that person a lot and maybe daydreaming of what it would be like to be with that person. Someone might have a crush on a musician they listen to or to someone they see at school or work - and are usually more fantasy than reality. It's also the kind of feeling that could go away very quickly if, for example, you met or saw someone else who you liked more - and then all those feelings kind of transfer to the other person. These feelings can be great, but they're not a mature kind of deep love.Crushes usually happen to younger people, who are still growing and learning about themselves. To experience true, deep love, a person needs to have some years under their belt - they need to know and love themselves before they can truly love another person. There's also a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. I love a lot of people - for who they are, how I feel when I'm around them, and the respect I have for the person. I'm only IN love with one person - the man who's my partner in life. It's not a feeling that can easily be described. There's an underlying feeling that you're "in it" together - and you trust that this person is always looking out for your best interest, as you do theirs. Then there's the passion - sometimes it's stronger than other times - and it changes as the relationship grows, but is always a part of your life.My parents had an amazing marriage of over 40 years, until my mother passed away in 1990. I used to catch them making out - and I remember as a teenager I thought, "get a room!" They were truly in love. They were cute together. Not that they didn't have issues or disagreements from time to time... that's part of life. Having problems with men in my 20s, I once asked my mom what the secret was to their great relationship. She told me that there were 3 parts to their relationship... "me, your dad, and the 2 of us together." She said that they never lost who they were as individuals and they had great respect for each other... and in addition to that, the two of them together made up this third part. I'll never forget that advice. Back to the crushes. I think if my mom were alive today, she'd say that as deeply in love as they were, my parents still had crushes on each other. That's the real deal - when you never lose the youthful feeling of having your stomach turned upside down or your heart skip a beat when you're with another person for over 40 years.

When I first tried meditation, I expected the end result to be total relaxation. What happened instead was frustration. I could not "empty my mind!" It seemed the quieter I got, the more things would rush into my head. Every little noise I heard made me a little cranky. I couldn't get comfortable in any of the positions recommended in the book I had purchased to help me learn to meditate. I was really on edge - which was the reason I wanted to try meditation to begin with...Thanks to sheer tenacity, I did not give up, as I truly wanted to experience the benefits of meditation. I talked to a few friends who practiced yoga and regularly meditated, bought a few more books, and dug in. Since I had such an active mind, I couldn't expect to "empty it" right away. I was putting pressure on myself for this to happen and it was only making matters worse. So instead of getting empty, I tried getting full. What I mean is that I used imagery to fill my head with an alternative to everything else that was distracting me. In one book, I found a sort of story... I am sitting in front of a mirror. Behind me in the mirror is a beautiful forest and as I look into the forest, I see myself standing up and walking to the trees, inhaling the lovely scent of nature. At that point, I begin to breath in a very regulated way, inhaling the forest smells and looking up to see sunlight through the trees as I exhale. As I continued to do this, I found myself focused on my breathing, which is something else that is recommended in most books on meditation. Eventually, I got better at getting this focus and after much practice, I can now get into a meditative state with relative ease. The key, like with anything, is to keep practicing.I also used to have a hard time falling asleep. Something I found in one of the meditation books really helped. I would close my eyes and instead of fighting the sounds I heard, I would welcome them into my mind. I'd wait and listen for a car to pass, rather than being distracted by it. The little sounds in the house - the refrigerator, the heater, etc. - I would treat at "background" music. It may sound a little crazy, but it totally worked. This technique, along with slow, steady breathing, still helps to lull me to sleep at night when I have trouble.My only problem with meditation is that I don't make enough time for it in my life. I do try to use some form of it for at least a few minutes a day, which doesn't get you into a deeply relaxed state, but can still help. I recently bought a book called "Five Minute Meditations," which teaches you ways and places that you can meditate during a normal busy day. For example - at the gym while waiting for the next machine or while taking a walk (yes, your eyes are open for that one!). I belong to an amatuer bowling league and before my turns, I close my eyes and just breath for a few minutes. My average has gone up because I'm more relaxed and focused! I need to do a lot more of these things - because the benefits are so worth it.So my advice to anyone that has tried meditation and given up? Try again. And keep trying. Eventually, you'll be rewarded with the ability to stay calm in hectic situations and find peace inside yourself.

Did you ever notice that when you're feeling really great about life that everything seems to come together? You might get a phone call from someone you were just thinking about. Information you were looking for suddenly shows up in a magazine you're reading. You need to change an appointment and the person calls to let you know that they can't make it. I believe that none of these things are 'coincidence.'Synchronicity is not coincidence or serendipity. It's when you're totally in synch with the universe. Days seem easier... everything seems to flow in a positive way. You feel like the world is supporting you in every move or decision you make. Religious people may feel that God or Jesus is with them in a magical way. Spiritual people feel totally connected to the universe. Athletes feel like they're 'in the zone.' It's really an amazing feeling.So the question is... is there a way to get to this fantastic place or does it just happen sometimes? I think that we have the power to help these moments (or states) occur. Walking down the street and carrying yourself with a positive attitude often leads to positive things happening. No matter what your circumstance, if you wallow in negativity, things don't usually get any better. Holding on to things like anger and resentment surely pulls you down, while letting go of these things can be the most healing thing you can do. I'm going to try an experiment. Today I'm going to be as upbeat as I can. If someone does something that might usually annoy me, I'm going to let it slide right off of me. I'm going to look at everything that happens is the most positive way I can. I'm going to carry myself 'as if' I have total control of what happens to me (not just what I choose to make happen). I think it's going to make a big difference. And maybe I'll be able to create that incredible state of synchronicity where the universe supports me and great things happen.

I wrote yesterday about the importance of happiness. Not that money isn't great to have, but true happiness is something that you feel inside... not just because you have nice 'stuff.' Every day I get an email message - from a spiritual group - with thoughts for the day. Coincidentally (or maybe not...) this is the message I got this morning:"True happiness isn?t a reaction to external events. You may have finally got the job you hoped for, or bought that car you longed for, or met the girl of your dreams. But before long the joy dissipates.Happiness is a force that emanates within us. When we bring our happiness to the world, the most ordinary experiences evoke delight. Suddenly, these experiences are no longer mundane. This is the nature of true appreciation.Summon this force of happiness within you today. Smell the proverbial rose, spend a little extra time with your family, or dance for no particular reason. Revel in the simple pleasures of life."I love getting these emails. Always a positive thought to keep with me during the day. I hope you enjoyed this one, too.

The question really is, "what makes you happy?" I'm not talking about the kind of happiness that comes from getting a great gift for your birthday or from taking a vacation in Hawaii in the dead of winter at home. I'm talking about the real deep happiness inside you. It's the kind of happiness that's with you when you wake up in the morning - can't wait to get ready to head out to a job you love, have a healthy family that you love spending time with, feel comfortable in whatever place you live, love the food you eat, enjoy your day and accept that '*BLEEP* happens' once in a while, and go to bed knowing that you get to do it all again the next day. None of that requires excessive amounts of money... just enough to support a lifestyle that really 'makes you happy.' I placed a lot more importance on money when I was younger. I was totally focused on my career and making as much money as I could. Even though I have no regrets, that focus on my career cost me the opportunity to have a family. I've got a little bit stashed away for my retirement, but now I'm living a very simple life and I'm very happy. My boyfriend is not financially well-off, but I have never laughed so much in my life. No matter what we do, even things that can be chores, we make it a "fun thing." The place I live is smaller than where I've lived in the past, but it's incredibly comfortable and I love spending time in it. I don't want for anything exotic in my life, although a new car would rock. Having said all of this, if I won the lottery today, would I be happy about it? Hell, yes. I'd pamper myself like crazy, buy a bigger place, get some fabulous new clothes and take trips whenever the mood hit me. But if given the choice of losing everything I have in my life right now *OR* winning the lottery? No contest. I wouldn't be willing to trade up to "door #2" and lose the life I have. The grass is always greener in the bigger yards...

There's a few different types of acting you can explore. There's theatrical on camera - film and television. There's theatrical - on stage. Then there's commercial - acting for television commercials. Each one has techniques and nuances that you need to learn in order to be successful. My boyfriend is an acting coach out here in Southern California. He teaches both commercial and theatrical classes, and coaches his students to the point when they are ready to get an agent, then helps them sign with the right one by arranging talent showcases. He also hosts workshops so his students can be seen by active casting directors in the business. I'm a writer by trade and have been helping him create trade press articles and blogs on acting. The first piece that we worked on was just published in last week's issue of BackStage West magazine, called "How to Make Your Auditions Dynamic." It was fun to work on it, but given the fact that I hadn't 'acted' since my high school plays (many years ago... I stopped counting), it's been tough to help write on the subjects he covers. So.........I started taking his commercial acting level one class last week. I figured it would be fun, plus I'd be more familiar with his teaching techniques to help with future writing projects. It was a blast! Hard work, but fun. I learned how to address the camera in auditions, how to bring out my quality (who I really am, which is different from my type - the external impression I give), how to break down commercial script copy... and a lot more. It's an 8 week class, so I have a lot of work ahead of me. Everyone else in the class is an experienced actor who wants to book more work in TV commercials (which can be very lucrative if you can get them). Many of the actors you see on hit television shows and movies got their start in commercials. In fact, Michael Bay directed commercials for many years before he got his break as a theatrical director!Yes, acting is a tough dream for anyone to pursue - it's ridiculously competitive and the market keeps changing. But if it's something that you really want, you need to make a commitment to yourself to do whatever's necessary to make it happen. Part of it is making connections and networking for sure, but there's a lot more to it. You need to study the craft of acting, particularly the kind of acting you want to do, constantly feed your creativity, work hard to keep your self-esteem at a high enough level that the 'no you didn't get the part' responses won't break you down, and understand the business well enough to 'work it.' It sounds like a lot, but because it's so competitive a field, it requires a lot of focus.An introduction to Michael Bay would be great! But beyond the introduction, you'd really need to blow him away with your acting skills in order to seriously get his attention. He'll likely say (and I've seen this happen many times), 'send me your headshots and resume, and I'll take a look' or 'have your agent get in touch with me.' I hope this reads as encouragement, because that's what the intent is. If acting is something you really want to do, then go for it! See what kind of acting classes are in your area, audition for community theater productions (if stage acting is an interest of yours), get some headshots done (maybe you have a friend who knows a photographer that can give you a deal) and talk to some advertising agencies in your area about who casts local commercials (if commercial acting interests you). Good luck! Oops... I mean, break a leg!

Depression is something I've struggled with for many years. It's not a constant thing, but I fall into it for weeks at a time. The thing that's really important to recognize is that when you're feeling depressed, everything seems so much worse. For example, if you're unhappy with your husband or partner, work seems even worse. If you're unhappy at work, problems at home take on much bigger proportions. I have a good friend who does a lot of 'life coaching,' and his advice to me, whenever this starts happening, is 'put a wedge in it!' What he means is that first, you have to separate all those things and address each one individually. By lumping everthing together, we tend to overwhelm ourselves with what's wrong and lead ourselves to the conclusion that our entire life is a mess, making the depression even worse. Second, when you're in a depressed state, you have to realize that what's going on in your head is feelings, not necessarily truths. There's a big difference.What has really helped me is making small changes that allow me to look at things with a slightly different perspective. I need to sell my house because it isn't gaining market value and I'm losing money every month. I haven't had a great paying freelance job in a long time. My boyfriend is great in a lot of ways, but he never tells me how he feels, much less that he loves me. I need to get back to the gym because I can't fit into my clothes. My dog is driving me crazy. Everything in my house is a mess.... and on and on. You see how we pile everything up? If I take a step back and look at each thing, then decide what small change I can make in each area, I have a more realistic view and a proactive one, too. Get a new real estate agent that's more aggressive. Take one hour every day and look for better freelance opportunities. Tell my boyfriend how I feel and recognize that he shows how much he loves me in what he does, but just has a hard time saying it... and accept that's just who he is. Just get up and go to the gym... no matter what... because I know I always feel better after I've had some exercise. From these changes or steps toward resolving individual problems springs a much more positive attitude. You're taking care of yourself! And the depression lifts.Last point it... if you're feeling depressed for an extended amount of time (not just feeling 'blue' for a few days or weeks), you need to talk to a doctor. I'm not advocating the use of anti-depressants if they are really not necessary, but it *may* be something to consider if you're spending too much time sleeping, you feel helpless, you have no energy and/or many of the other classic depression symptoms. A doctor can easily recognize syptoms of depression and offer help, whether that's in the form of counseling or, perhaps, a temporary prescription. You can also look for natural supplements such as St. John's Wort, 5-HTTP or Sam-E, to help lift your mood.I truly wish I wasn't so familiar with this topic. I hope that what I've written helps and I hope you start feeling better very soon.

I know the Fila Brasileiro... it's a Brazilian Mastiff. I had a Neopolitan (Italian) Mastiff who I had to say goodbye to last year. Mastiffs are one of the oldest breeds of dogs and definitely one of the largest. If anyone remembers the movie "Turner and Hooch" - that was a French Mastiff (or Dog de Bordeaux). I've heard of, but never seen, a Japanese Mastiff, as well. Most people are familiar with a Bull Mastiff, which is an English Mastiff and a Bulldog mix. My Neo was named Zoey and she weighed in at 160 lbs. Some of the males mastiffs grow to be over 250 lbs! Since they're so big, like other giant breeds (Great Danes, St. Bernards, etc.), they don't typically live as long as other breeds, which is a very sad thing. It took me a while to get over losing Zoey (who was 10 yrs. 8 mos. - amazing for her breed), but I decided I was ready for another dog about a year later. I went in the opposite direction this time - from 160lbs. to 16lbs. My new dog is a mix of Dachshund and Pinscher (and maybe some other breeds as well). I adopted her from a rescue organization in my area. She's not a real "little dog"... she's more like a 'honey i shrunk the dog' kind of small dog. She has no idea how little she is. I never pictured myself with a small dog, especially after having a Mastiff. But her heart is just as big as Zoey's was...

It's funny. I used to have so many turn offs about guys. One thing that just didn't do it for me was when a guy's back was so hairy, he looked like they had a sweater on when he was shirtless. Messy guys made me crazy, too. I mean, can't you put something back where you got it? Then there were guys who couldn't express their feelings. I'm not talking about getting all gushy, I just mean saying what they're feeling. Lots of other things used to bother me about guys, too.Then I actually fell in love. I think I'm a few years older that some of you others in here... and I'm *SO* not giving you the 'when you're older, you'll understand' thing... but somehow pet peeves and weird turn offs change when you meet the right person. My boyfriend has a hairy back, is a bit of a mess and has trouble saying how he feels (he shows me how he feels in what he does, but never actually says it out loud). And none of it bothers me. (Well, it wouldn't kill him to say he loves me more often LOL.) I'm definitely not 'settling for less' either. This guy is awesome in *so* many ways. It's just that, IMHO, the little things don't really matter when you have so many of the right things going on.

I lost my mom in 1990. She had battled cancer for many years, but it finally caught up with her.I was away on a business trip when I got the call from her doctor to come home right away because she'd taken a turn for the worse. When I got to the hospital, her room was filled with family... both my mom and dad had done volunteer work at the same hospital, so I guess they were making an exception for her and let more than the normal amount of visitors in the room. It felt like a party - she was in bed, but looking happy and chatting with everyone in the room. Since I'd seen her swing back from a few serious moments before, I thought maybe she would fool us all again and be coming home. We all said goodnight and let her rest.The next morning when we arrived at the hospital, she wasn't active at all. My dad, brother and I just hung out with her all day and kept telling her stories and jokes, and of course, how much we loved her. She passed away that night. It was hard for both my brother and me, but it was incredibly difficult to see the pain my dad was feeling. They were very close. I was sad for a long time, but knowing how full of life my mom had been, I knew that she would want us all to remember her, but move on with our lives. You know how they say that when people die they're still part of you? I always kind of nodded my head when I heard that and thought it was just something people said when they wanted you to feel better after losing someone close. But a strange thing started happened after she passed away. I'd be listening to music or watching TV and something would just hit me... a 'mom would have loved that' or 'mom would have cracked up over that' moment. And as I heard the music or joke or whatever, I could actually feel her with me, swaying to the rhythm or laughing with me. Now 17 years later, it still happens... and I love when it does. I wish it would happen more often.I guess what they say is true - you never really lose a person you love when they die. IMHO, there's always a part of them that stays with you.

I've had some amazing results with Chinese medicine, particularly acupuncture. Last year, I started to experience anxiety on a frequent basis, for the first time in my life. My heart would pound and I found myself in a panic about fairly common, non-critical things. When my friend suggested acupuncture, I thought the same thing as the last poster... "I am nobody's pincushion!"Thankfully, my friend talked me into a free consultation with her acupuncturist, who happened to be the assistant dean of a Chinese medicine school here in Los Angeles. As someone who has always been afraid of needles, I was petrified. IBut I trusted the doctor (a key factor in anyone's selection of a treatment provider of any kind) and decided to give it a try. The needles are so thin that you can barely feel them. Did I mention that I was always a big baby when it came to needles? Ah, yes. BIG baby. Yet acupuncture was a piece of cake. The doctor inserted about 15 needles that day and I lay resting in the treatment room, listening to peaceful music, for about 20 minutes. I just took deep breaths and relaxed... probably the closest thing to meditation that I've ever experienced. When she came back to remove the needles, I was almost sorry that it had to end. Over the course of the next few days, I noticed my anxiety was greatly reduced. I went back for treatment once a week for about two months and felt a profound difference in my life - that annoying anxious feeling was all but gone. I now go there 'when I need it' but would still be going on a weekly basis if my insurance company was progressive enough to cover alternative medicine.So, IMHO, if traditional medicine isn't working and/or you're open-minded enough to try something new, get over your fear of the unknown and give acupuncture a try. It just might help you get over a physical problem that's been plaguing you for way too long.