i have just come out of a stressful period with relationships where three girls turned me down because they already had boyfriends. two of them happen to be my best friends and we are still good friends, sharing almost everything with each other. i have managed to keep out feelings for these two girls in order to protect our friendship, and just when i was thinking everything would be ok, this happened....one of my friends found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her and in that rage she broke up with him, and he happily agreed. now she is angry yet determined to stay strong. she already knows that i have a crush on her and would be ready to take it to the next level, but i don't want to act like a vulture, waiting to make my move in such a situation. now what do i do? should i try and tell her about my feelings again or should i just be quiet since i have already learned to bury those feelings? please advise me...im telling this here as i dont know what else to do. the last time i posted here i got some useful advice so am hoping to get some again. please help me out of this situation. in the end all i want is my friend to be happy.
Hi!I don't usually give out dating advice but in this case I will have to make an exception. My advice to you is to go out there and tell her how you feel. Some guy who cheated on her is not really the best choice for your friend - a concerned and sensitive guy is what she needs and that's exactly who you are! The situation may seem to have an influence on your acceptance, but it makes you less likely to be accepted rather than more likely, unlike what the television producers would want us to think. In other words, you aren't being unfairly opportunistic but are rather taking your chances, whatever they may be, and would be acting in mutually beneficial interests.Oh, and you did mention that you got some advice on this forum in the past but you have made only three posts to the forum according to the forum accounting. Did you use a different account the last time, or are you not very active on the forums?
I think you should wait about a month before you make any major moves because girls need that time to recuperate. I doubt that any girls would want to get involved in another relationship right after one just ended. Also, the situation would most likely be forgotten in that time frame.
oh yea, as a friend, you need to give her space from taking ANYTHING to the next level. if she is a friend, then BE a friend....period.you sound a little immature to me and i am confused about something. if 3 girls turned you down and two of them are your friends and had boyfriends already, why would you be trying to take things to the next level with them? you say you don't want to be a vulture, but that's how you are coming across. even just by asking "what should i do" intimates you are looking for any reason to take things to the next level.just be a friend. you need time for her to have closure for this other relationship and time to see if they can work through things out of RESPECT for your friend. people breakup sometimes and get back together in the heat of the moment. now STOP EYEING WOMEN WHO ARE ALREADY TAKEN.
there's a very fine line between being a friend and a vulture in this case cause right now your friend is just coming out of a relationship where she has been rejected and yes the normal thing would be to show her that she is not a reject but that there is someone out there (in this case you) who thinks the world of her and would not treat her like the way this other guy has. While it is a noble and chivalrious act you need to look at things from her angle for abit. I as a girl have friends who fall in this category too. They have been my best friends and I love them to bits as a friend not as a lover. Then when I break up with a cheating sleeze bag of a Boyfrined I once had and guess what they were good at being there for me when i struggled with my break up but I know that one of them had a crush on me from previously and has in the past told me of how he felt and I had told him it was sweet and cute and that I did have a tingle of a feeling towards him aswellbut because I was in a relationship I could not go down that route unless one day things didnt work out with the now ex then we both had to hold back. After the break up with the ex my friend was there and I already knew how he felt but thing is I didnt wanna be told how I can be in a beter relationship with someone else I wanted to be told how I was a good person and how my ex was a fool and how he regretted or would regret that move of breakup or not begging me to come back. I wanted to hear about how he was heart broken and generally not able to live without me. You see sometimes for a girl its not about how much better we can do or how we can get the next hunk or how we are hot property and every guy in the world thinkjs we are angels or wants a piece of my a*s. (this is not a 100% survey but a general survey based on most of the girls I have interacted with when it comes to how we feel about breakups. Usually if the realtionship ends because we were cheated on or dumped, we struggle to cope with being rejected we wonder why he chose her over me whats betteer about her that I dont have. things like thiat lol We are vein like that hope i have not told too much of girl secrets here lol) But we wannt to be told how he has realised that he made a foolish move and that after alll we were better than the new girl and that he is suffering and regretting his move and if possible that he will come and beg us even though we will say no because we want to be the ones doing the rejection not the ones being rejected.For a while we want to just hear the gnashing of his teeth and the pain of his regretting the move even if it a just a visual by proxy or a hint of this. We need to know he has suffered the consequence hopefully hearing that she has in turn dumped him and made him doubley miserable. Once w ehave passed this phase we are happy and ready for a new relationship. Please note chance are this will never happen but then it helps us cope to even begin to think or want this to happen to the mean bastard for leaving when we were completely in love and leaving us heart broken and sore. Now I know it must be tricky for a guy to watch for that moment when I am finally over the past boyfriend and ready to make new commitment with new guy. And the point where you hear that Kevin a total random guy whom I met on the bus has asked me out and I agreed. but the thing is not to over crowd the girl. She knows you want her and right now the thing you can do is see things her way even temporarily. Side with her on the evilness of past BF and how you wish a lion would swallow his weaner when next goes to the Zoo and all that a nd then back away for a couple of days. This gives a girl room to see what a nice bloke you are and she sees you as someone who understands her more than everyone else. It also makes us think of you cause you not there in my face all the time. This helps me want to see you soon and hopefully before you know it I'll be calling your phone and chatting about the color of snow. (hint Hint - im done worying bout ex. Ask me out for a drink or dinner or a Movie.) Now most guys at this point will take this as chance to say I wanna be your boyfriend but i found its awkward to hear a friend say that so take me for that date and make it count. Then make it turn out romantic and all you know guys you know how to twist things slowly so we both end up on my doorstep kissing and next thing Im at home laying in bed thinking wow I really like him. Obviously I wont tell you this (mr future boyfriend) but you will know cause probably you will excited two when you leaving my doorstep after the snog lol. At this point you have to catch things before anyone else does. Like sneak me to your place obviously under false pretences like do you wanna come watch a movie DVD or somethign you know I will come to your place for and stay for more than just a few minutes. That way we can get comfy and thigs will go to second or maybe even third base. Obvious;y by then you will know your in. You can now say thinks like i wanna be more than just friends and i hope this is not just a one night stand. If I spoon feed you more stuff you wont be able to continue after my directives s so at this point this is where you add your own touch and dothings your way. GoodLuck.
Girls are actually more complicated than men. Women do not like to be professed eternal love and caring.Don't think of it as an overly complicated matter.Become a great listener.If she likes you, she may come back with one of its own.