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Does Love Make Us Stupid whats your take

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mandla

I've seen a few experiences in life that have made me wonder is love is a drug people get high on.I mean there surely must be fine line between love and stupidity or insanity cause Loves makes us do pretty stupid things. I know a frend who was in love with an older woman and her husband was a total nutcase and he was only like 17 (my friend) and he actually wanted to confront the husband for beating up his wife. Damn I thought how stupid is that. THen ofcourse we've seen the situations where a mum will run in front of traffic to save her childs life yeah brave but its kinda stupid. Not that I have anything against that kind of love all im saying is we not thinking straight when love is involved. Could it be that love is actually a chemical that is secreted into our bodies and we get high on it without even realising it. Now all these examples are pretty common but the one Im about to say scared the shite out of me.I have a Skype friend who lives in Canada, we've never met in person but just sptarted talking becuase she thought I was someone else and added me on skype. We started of chatting random stuff but over the last 8 months i can say we have become really good friends. Anyways ealier this week we were talking about children and how they make one so happy etc. and the conversation turned round to cheating and how children get affected by parents breaking up after cheating or how some children loose their parents to Aids and HIV sometimes cause on of the parents was cheating and brought the disease home. She started crying and it wasn't that sad crying but that crying where you can feel their pain and to cut long story short she told me that her husband or rather ex husband had done that to her. They married 10 years ago and had been to a test prior to their marriage and had gotten married and he was always on business in America and would sleep around with Prostitutes a lot on his trips. One day she got sick blah blah blah and tested positive needless to say husband blamed her and left her because he thought she was unclean though a year later he had tried to return and beg for a second chance after he found out one of his ex prostitutes died from aids and he had been living with her and he later tested positive. She told me she had been faithful and etc i sympathised with her.Now the story went to say she went for counselling and stufff and through her counsellor met a man who liked her and obviously knew her situation. They fell in love and obviously used condoms but a year later things started to get serious and he moved in with her and stuff but then started saying he didn't wanna use condoms anymore cause he wanted a baby. They had been to the doctor and the doctor had said they would have to the turkey baster method and he said this was not how he wanted to make babies with the woman he loved. He actually wanted to risk infection in the process of making love. she says she alays insited on condom but he'd say while they have sex and she is about to climax he'd pull out and rip off the condom and put it back in. And she wouldnt be in control till she had finished climaxing and come back to her senses yes they had a baby and he was lucky cause he didn't test positive but I ask how far was he willing to go for the sake of love. I mean 4 years down the line things havent worked and they gone separate ways. Yes it as worth the risk if they'd been together till they die but im thinking if he was positive and things didnt workout yet he'd taken that risk would he not be kicking himself for the rest of his life. hmmmmmI know in his shoes many of us would have done the same thing and yet looking at it now we all thinking Nah i'd never be that stupid. Let me ask you now have you never done anythign stupid cause you were in love. Anything even stealing from your parents just to impress a guy / girl we all do pretty stupid things for love. What have you done and how far would go for someone you love with all your heart


FouGilang

I would love to find other words than 'stupid' about this one, but in many point of view (other than the lovers' point of view) it must be seen stupid, or more to foolish. I wonder why some things that is 'brave' has the same line to that is 'stupid'. It really depend on the people who see it and how they have their own argument, but whatever. Though, i'm not talking about the negative stuffs, there are many negative cases that they claimed because 'love' (like the one you mentioned above) around. Which of course they are the REAL stupid but they think that it's okay because they blinded by what they claimed 'love'. Love can make some one can do what he can't do, or even the things that normal people can't do (where then they call it, stupid). But really, i would love to hear some other words for the positive things, other than 'stupid'


truefusion

I don't remember doing anything stupid when i was in love and putting love to use—stupidity came for not making use of love. But most of the examples you provide you label as "stupid" because the person who was in love, or who was displaying love, wasn't being selfish in their act (though the guy who didn't want to go the "turkey baster" way was slightly selfish—that is, not caring about how him having AIDS would effect his lover emotionally, et cetera). Love is many things, most certainly unselfish, and at times hard to describe and some people might even mistake it for something else, but if you were to do the same thing while in their position, then it is pointless to speak against it.


mandla

i guess maybe stupid is the wrong term and after reading the answers so far I believe foolish would have been more appropriate a word. But still in hindsight we do realie how foolish some things we did for the sake of love eg. some people when they find out loved ones cheated take their own lives and if they catch lovers in the act of cheating they react by stabbing or litteraly going mental and doing things that they ould never ever do if they werent in love. I know i seem to use bad or negetive actions but that all that i can think of off the top of my head. Also this is probably because we are looking at it from outside of a relationship. Usually in the relationship there is a lot of positive things like when I was eighteen, my now wife came from a very well off family and mine was just middle class. I had just moved out from home and was starting afresh my then girlfriend was helping me furnish our new place and would lierally lie to her parents that she needed money for this and that and they would give her money. I mean she had those parents who did wanna upset her or were wrapped around her finger because she was an only child and her biological dad had passed awa a few years prior to that so i guess the parents were tryna over compensate or something but everytime she would get money we would by stuff for my flat. I rember we literally furnished my flat in brand new items fully furnished it within two months. I wasnt aware that thats what she would do because throughout our dating she always had money and would say yeah my mom gave me some money let me take you out tonight. Save your money for our wedding one day. And so when she said i got you a present and i got home and a brand new TV and VCR where in the house I just took its as wow - you didnt have to do that much but she'd always say we can go clubbing and use the money we have for drinks and pub crawling and an expensive hotel suite like we used to before or we could buy stuff for our home so when we come home we can relax and have fun in our own little place.Whilst inside thie relationship I thought this girl is a keeper cause I'd always wanted to be with someone who was responsible and would work for our future as oppoosed to one who would just think of today only. Obviously then I hadnt even planned to maryr her I was just dating a really awesome girl thats all. I always say to myself what if I hadnt been that into her and we had broken up or things later didnt work out. Would she not have regretted buying all that stuff and my new girlfriend would have now been using her cutlery, the bed, the stereo etc. I guess thats as close to a good experience I can come up with. But some of the foolish ness is obvious from the onset especially when looking at it from outside of the relationship. SOme people would hjave said is being foolish trying to buy my love or i could have been thinking silly girl im actually in love with sarah and you just a side thing but you pimping up my pad so i can bring sarah home and etc.It could have played out either way. But I think had the results been negetive, she would have been thinking - damn i was so stupid to buy him all that stuff.PS. No she wouldnt have taken it all away cause from day one we made it clear that when we bought each other presents they were forever no mater what happened there was no gimme back what I gave you. Once you give the present thats it you kiss it goodbye its not a loan its gone forever I f choose to throw the present away its mine to throw away. So no she wasnt gonna get the stuff back


kleong

Rather than say stupid, I would say love make us irrational. Normal logically thinking goes out of the window. And truly, one can say they rule by the heart and not the head.


anwiii

i would agree with ya there except i would say love make SOME people irrational. love is an emotion. has to brains yet still, some people want to think from the heart. there is no rational thinking or smart choices when they act on their emotions.

and yes, some people are addicted. they need the attention or companionship or whatever love gives them and so they go out searching for something that is probably doomed to fail....but after it does, they are on to their next victim. i say victim because maybe the other people want a serious relationship....while the one addicted, is just searching for love and to fullfill that empty space that they can't live with.

Rather than say stupid, I would say love make us irrational. Normal logically thinking goes out of the window. And truly, one can say they rule by the heart and not the head.


Quatrux

I also agree that love can make us "stupid", it depends on a lot of situations and etc. but usually all that "stupid" things happen in school and college or something like that, you start to do things, you wouldn't do if you weren't in love :D and lets say if it was an unhappy love, after some years a lot of whom can think "what was I thinking?" :)But it's quite nice, that something can make us "crazy" ;] With experience you may continue doing "mistakes" or learn from them and act more rational.


akira550

I must agree with you because love makes me feel stupid not sometimes but always.. also love is unfair for some person.when someone you love will never love you. when someone love you.. you don't love that. isn't it funny thinking loveis like that? not funny for those who have that situation and that is really hard.However love makes me feel stupid I don't know why but sometimes I do some stupid things and weird things thatis because I am inlove to someone.Thinking ridiculously, caring ridiculously and loving over the infinity which is bad if the person you lovedoesn't love you anyway so whats the point? but when your inlove you won't feel or think about this thing..all you will think is that "you love him/her that's why you are doing your best and giving everything" Sometimes giving everything is not a good idea because it cause so much pain for you and put you down so bad that takes time for you to rise again.


Terko

Hello!Yeah, I'm pretty sure that LOVE make us stupid. But!!! Also this love give us so much will-power to do things which in the past were considered as impossible, like smth crazy and umbelievable!!!!!!! And now, being in love (and being stupid) we dont pay attantion to any difficulties coz we see just a desirable result. And it really works, I must confess. One frend of mine, being in love, took a serious risk and absolutely changed her life: she moved to another country, to distant state, to big city which full of strangers (and she dont have there any frens!! any kith!!!) she entered one of the best colleges, she found a good job and provided her housing by herself, without any help (even parents), simply being in love and being full of desire to be closer to her soulmate (can u imagine such actions being in consciousness??LOL))) So, I dont know like u guys, but I prefer to be in love and to be stupid, so that to have such power over ma life...and how about you?