warbird1405241485 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2005 A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dhanesh1405241511 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2005 LMFAO ! .. nice one .. like the husband #10 on .. lol .. hilarious ..cant stop laughing my brains out .. RegardsDhanesh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cyborgxxi 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2005 Hmmm, I don't understand the last part. Why does the lawyer screw people? o_OAm I supposed to get this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HTML_Guru 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2005 A whole lot of sexual inuendos and double entendres... sweet...One of the funnier jokes I've heard lately... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miCRoSCoPiC^eaRthLinG 0 Report post Posted November 13, 2005 Hear this one before - but always thought was a one of the prime ones. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
demolaynyc 0 Report post Posted April 14, 2007 ooo lemme guess. the 11th guy has no penis Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xboxrulz1405241485 0 Report post Posted April 14, 2007 lolxboxrulz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vue 0 Report post Posted April 15, 2007 Ah I don't get this. And I don't understand how I'm meant to write at least 3 lines about something which only requires a short response. Well, I guess I am doing it right now. I don't get these sexual jokes. Bleh. Especially the stamp collecter one! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
demolaynyc 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2007 LMAO.... wow really funny (although I only chuckled a bit, in my mind I laughed). I thought this was serious too. Haha. I like how the joke put professions and sex together quite nicely. For those who don't get it, lawyers can sometimes "screw" you by extending your case more than it should take so they get charged more. I know because it happened to a relative of mine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Chesso 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2007 lmao!!!! that was good, I actually thought this might of been serious......I didn't get the stamp collecting thing though? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
leafbunk 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2007 I didn't get the stamp collecting thing though?I can only imagine the stamp collector one was meant to be an oral sex reference, even though technically if you're a collector of stamps you wouln't ever dare lick them. Haha, but yeah this was pretty funny, and I too thought when I saw the topic that it was going to be some "real" story. Thanks for posting! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SilverFox1405241541 0 Report post Posted April 17, 2007 LMFAOLawl that's a good one, I thought it was serious at first from the title. HAHA how true about the lawyer. Nice one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iGuest 3 Report post Posted December 18, 2009 The stamp collector licks the stamps - and all he did to his wife was, well now you know why she misses him:) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites