Random Chuck Norris Facts Funny. Check it out

[Sir Joe 0]

In his spare time, Chuck Norris breeds thoroughbred horses by manually inseminating the females with his own semen.
Ask not what Chuck Norris will do for a Klondike bar, ask what the Klondike bar will do for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.

Source:http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

Edited August 21, 2005 by microscopic^earthling (see edit history)

[KnightEagle 0]

I may not be a moderator. But it is small thinking like yours that causes people to in up fighting each other. Yet I dont care for chuck norris either in fact cant stand bruse lee either. But you do have the right to think how you want. But pleas leave it at home. Here we are ment to help each other and have fun their no room for small minds.

[TRAP17 ANNIVERSARY 0]

I believe it is customary to use

tags for words that are not of your own. Besides, what did Chuck Norris ever do to you?

 

Granted that he may be a sell-out, but who else can you name that has made it to Hollywood with just his talent for butt-kickin' moves? I say no one. Who gets to make an infomercial with a beautiful model when he's well over 50's--Chuck Norris can. Who actually has a TV show AND sings his own theme song? WWCND--that's What would Chuck Norris Do...

[iGuest 3]

Chuck NorrisRandom Chuck Norris Facts

They say the banks control the country.  The Fed controls the banks.  The Rothchilds control the Fed.  And Chuck Norris controls it all.

-reply by Ben and Hank

[iGuest 3]

"When Chuck Norris' life ends, he didn't actually die... He just took gods place"

-reply by Gage

[tansqrx 0]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norrisâ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnât lifting himself up, heâs pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norrisâ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesnât wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Gotta love these

[Eggie 0]

This jokes are so old i would like to kick his but for making people make up jokes about him....he now thinks he is coolThanks...Eggie

[tansqrx 0]

But that’s the point. You can’t kick his butt!

[Eggie 0]

Thats what he wants you to think :DThanks...Eggie

[Quatrux 4]

I remember when those jokes appeared, they were really funny, some were really hilarious that a lot of people in the world talked about them and made their own.. Those jokes made Chuck Norris quite popular..As somebody said to me, those kind of jokes existed before, but they didn't get so popular, jokes like that existed about Mr. T. from the A-team, but they didn't get so much popular like they did about Chuck Norris! Will need to read more about it :PSometimes I hear or say a joke about Chuck Norris, having a T-shirt with some Chuck Norris quote or something like that, sometimes is still funny and quite cool !!!

[HannahI 0]

I don't really enjoy those jokes

Edited October 29, 2009 by HannahI (see edit history)

[iGuest 3]

chuck norris factRandom Chuck Norris Facts

There are not chuck norris jokes, only factsThere is no life on mars cause chuck norris has already been thereGod said let there be light and chuck norris replied " say please "Ever wonder what happened to that guy from the old spice commercial? chuck norris happened, again.Chuck norris actually lives in the bermuda triangle, but don't spread the word. Hes the reason why people go missing.Chuck norris wears white to a funeral, why? no one has lived to tell the tale.Helen keler's favourite colour is chuck norrisJesus was the first son of chuck norrisThe movie "rocky" would of been named " norris" but chuck couldnt keep his legs done

-reply by xylem