Help With A Girl.

[DBMis 0]

So Ive known this girl for a couple months. Started off as a Long Distance Relationship and we texted frequently and skyped when we could. She moved to my town about a month ago and we seen each other a handful of times. In the past she was good at texting back and I gave her the same courtesy, but as of late the texts seemed later and interest dropping (she didnt accept my invitation out but said "next week?") to which I never got a text. So I did what any man would do - cut contact immediately. Now a week passes of the no contact and she texts me one night."Are you alive?" (I dont respond)"Just wanted to check in.. See how you were doing! Hope things are good . Have a good night!"I havnt responded to the last message because I want people opinions: First off, should I reply? Second, Is this some sort of game she's playing for self gratification of is she interested?Open to all opinions/suggestions

[Bikerman 2]

Why did you take her reply of 'next week' negatively? Maybe she meant 'next week'.

[DBMis 0]

Why did you take her reply of 'next week' negatively? Maybe she meant 'next week'.

Thanks for the reply.
She never followed up with me the next week, which is why I took it negatively, at the time I never thought anything of it. I suppose it is arguable that she was busy both weeks. Do you think I should just strike up a conversation and reschedule a date? Usually I would just do whatever I felt was right but her IOI's are confusing or lack thereof.
Edited May 1, 2012 by DBMis (see edit history)

[Bikerman 2]

Well, I would suggest arranging a meeting somewhere neutral rather than a 'date'. Suggest a meet-up for a pizza or a coffee somewhere convenient.She may just want to be friends or she may be open to a relationship - you are not going to find out by second-guessing yourself.

[rpgsearcherz 5]

Well, I would suggest arranging a meeting somewhere neutral rather than a 'date'. Suggest a meet-up for a pizza or a coffee somewhere convenient.She may just want to be friends or she may be open to a relationship - you are not going to find out by second-guessing yourself.

Great idea here. If she is feeling uncomfortable for any reason, offering a neutral area will help a lot. Take the pressure off and it makes everyone feel better. Let things go as they may.

You can also add others into your little "get away" as that often helps as well. For example, invite her to bring a friend, and you bring one. Just by having someone she is close to with her will help relieve discomfort.

[midnightvamp 1]

Yea, it's really hard to say in these types of situations. She very well could have been busy which is why she said next week and I'm thinking she wouldn't have started messaging you again if she wasn't actually interested in you. After some time passes where people haven't spoken it's easy to just continue the silence and let things end quietly. But since she was asking about you and hoping that you were doing okay, sounds to me like she's interested and maybe even concerned about why she hasn't heard from you in so long.Also, after not hearing from you in a long while (because you stopped texting her back too) she could just as easily be thinking you have lost interest in her. This might all be one big misunderstanding, but you won't really know until you two get together. I do like the idea of meeting somewhere casual and bringing a friend or two or lessen the tension though.Hope things work out for you!

[Iniyila 2]

hmm, actually the message you received as "are you alive?" and the next message after that is showing that she is thinking about you, by the way some girls need a lot of time to accept something. you should first know the person you are communicating to by checking her past history to see if she had any boyfriend and how long does their relationship last and asking people to know how it was started. you should know the past of your target because then you can conclude from what you see more accurately. for example when you search the past of that girl you will find that she hadn't any boyfriend before you so for getting her ready to accept your invitation you need lots of time and maybe it takes you thousands of those texts to see any result, but if you checked the past and you find out that she had many boyfriends then you can be sure that when she responds cold she means that she is not interested or less interested. so you need first to check the history of that girl which is a really hard work but i myself do it for my every relationship.The second important thing is to asking what you don't know, when you think the answer means "i'm not interested" just text back "do you mean that you are not interested?" (do not use this word use more polite ones ) , you know most of the times people don't ask these type of questions because they worry about the answer, but i say don't worry about the answer because this single text will give you two options, if the answer is yes so you have saved a lot of your time to go and think about another one and if the answer was no you can be sure that taking time for this relation worth it. so go ahead and ask these questions directly from the person you are trying to communicate to.And another thing is that, do not answering the messages is not a polite way of cutting off because the person will not understand what happened and sometimes may cause a misunderstanding about the situation. if i was in your situation i respond the text like this "yes i'm alive, where you alive in past 3 days too ?!"One of the things that i didn't understand from your topic is that what do you want from your relation ? do you want a friend or a girl friend ? because i don't know what you have said to her but this is very important to know what do you want from your communications. by the way i wish you luck and hope to find a solution fast .

[Ananya 0]

[ Quoted by Iniyila ][hmm, actually the message you received as "are you alive?" and the next message after that is showing that she is thinking about you, by the way some girls need a lot of time to accept something.]

I agree to the above mentioned point. First you need to check that whether she is really interested in you or just fooling you around. But since you refrained from messaging her and she messaged you so she might be interested in you but then her seriousness has to be checked out. If you really don't want to miss her then do meet if possible because without knowing a person properly you can't judge what the other person wants.

[k_nitin_r 8]

DBMis,Some times, people want to look their best and simply don't have what they need to dress up to look their best so they would put things off to later. Now, after you put something off, you know that it will come back to you eventually in conversation. That's exactly how the girl has been feeling. What you should have done, in retrospect, would have been to change the subject and speak about something that would have made her more comfortable.The reason you finally got a response is that the human mind has a tendency to go between moods, discount risks sporadically, and work in irrational ways. Then, there are the what-if scenarios that the mind keeps evaluating. For all practical purposes, what the message means to you is that there still is a chance of something sparking up so you can decide to start off with a clean slate and see where things go from there.