My Best Friend My best friend is depressed

[NeedAdvice 0]

My best friend is a girl, we tell each other everything. Today she told me she is really depressed, I asked why. She said, "I want to kill myself". I tried to comfort her as much as I could but I don't know what to say.Does anyone know what I can say to her to make her feel better?

[TracieSylvie 0]

Why does she feel depressed? There are many factors that could be the cause: family issues, appearance issues, emotional issues, and/or even relationship issues. Find out which one it is, pinpoint it and go from there.All she really needs right now is a good friend and possibly your shoulder to cry on.Keep us updated!It sounds serious, and if nothing seems to work... you can always suggest for professional help, and even a suicide hot-line which really helps.

Edited November 2, 2010 by TracieSylvie (see edit history)

[NeedAdvice 0]

Why does she feel depressed? There are many factors that could be the cause: family issues, appearance issues, emotional issues, and/or even relationship issues. Find out which one it is, pinpoint it and go from there.
All she really needs right now is a good friend and possibly your shoulder to cry on.

Keep us updated!
It sounds serious, and if nothing seems to work... you can always suggest for professional help, and even a suicide hot-line which really helps.

She says she has a family that knows nothing about each other and they all hate each other. I don't know how to respond to this. She does have professional help, she has a counselor but she is afraid to tell her anything.

[TracieSylvie 0]

She says she has a family that knows nothing about each other and they all hate each other. I don't know how to respond to this. She does have professional help, she has a counselor but she is afraid to tell her anything.

I can relate to how she's feeling. It seems like she's at a low point in her life. Try to take her to somewhere that she's not thinking too much. Just thinking about happy thoughts converts someone's thinking to be merely happy things. For example, if she's in a emotional rut where she feels burdened by her family's misery or feelings of hatred, perhaps time away from them is appropriate. Another suggestion is to have a family counseling session. That helps as well. I've been to one session with my brother when we both had situations we didn't talk to each other about. My brother and I are no where close to where we used to be and we both like it. Perhaps the distance between your friend and her family is a good thing. For me, I'm glad it is, because sometimes your family members are so alike with you that you feel like they're your exact mirrors and that can annoy you, if that makes sense.

The way that I'm dealing with it personally is that both my brother and I don't speak to each other as much. We also have a generation gap which doesn't really allow us to connect anyway. He's soon to be married and he live away from the rest of us now.

I'm not sure what you mean by her not knowing much about each other? Bonding time with family members can help break whatever it is that is breaking a family member's relationship apart.

A counselor is there to help her, and if she feels like she doesn't want to tell her anything, then she probably doesn't trust her. I felt the same way. Dealing with her own emotions on her own, which may take a while, is probably best for her as well. It seems to me she isn't too sure how she's feeling, or maybe she's feeling alone, too? I hope this helps.

A HUG and a fun day out frequently helps!!
Perhaps go to a party and meet new people! Self-esteem issues can also be a big factor as to why she may be feeling down.

[NeedAdvice 0]

I can relate to how she's feeling. It seems like she's at a low point in her life. Try to take her to somewhere that she's not thinking too much. Just thinking about happy thoughts converts someone's thinking to be merely happy things. For example, if she's in a emotional rut where she feels burdened by her family's misery or feelings of hatred, perhaps time away from them is appropriate. Another suggestion is to have a family counseling session. That helps as well. I've been to one session with my brother when we both had situations we didn't talk to each other about. My brother and I are no where close to where we used to be and we both like it. Perhaps the distance between your friend and her family is a good thing. For me, I'm glad it is, because sometimes your family members are so alike with you that you feel like they're your exact mirrors and that can annoy you, if that makes sense.
The way that I'm dealing with it personally is that both my brother and I don't speak to each other as much. We also have a generation gap which doesn't really allow us to connect anyway. He's soon to be married and he live away from the rest of us now.

I'm not sure what you mean by her not knowing much about each other? Bonding time with family members can help break whatever it is that is breaking a family member's relationship apart.

A counselor is there to help her, and if she feels like she doesn't want to tell her anything, then she probably doesn't trust her. I felt the same way. Dealing with her own emotions on her own, which may take a while, is probably best for her as well. It seems to me she isn't too sure how she's feeling, or maybe she's feeling alone, too? I hope this helps.

A HUG and a fun day out frequently helps!!
Perhaps go to a party and meet new people! Self-esteem issues can also be a big factor as to why she may be feeling down.

Thank you, this helps a lot.

[TracieSylvie 0]

Thank you, this helps a lot.

You're welcome.
Also, try to lead her to positive things, such as distracting her by getting involved in a group activity such as volunteering at a hospital or taking care of animals.
Positive things = positive results!

In no time she'll be living better. I can tell you're good friend--also, don't let her go to a route that is negative. (drugs, sex etc)

Best wishes to your friend!

[anwiii 17]

first, i would like to say that tracie did a really good job in answering this issue without assuming too much.i would like to mention though that people have to feel comfortable with their psychologist or counselor so that they can be fully open to get the help and advice they need. if she doesn't feel comfortable, it's important to find someone else who is better suited to break down those walls gradually. also, she needs a really good support group right now. since it doesn't seem she is getting it from family, she will need to get it from friends who care enough. i think she is lucky to have you where you are going out of your way to seek advice for your friend.if at all possible, maybe you can get her to sign up here and post about her problem personally. there is a lot of people who care here at KS and who are willing to support her and guide her and lift her spirits. also, people can get a better sense of who she is and her real problems. normally i am good at offering advice and being supportive but it's when i am talking to the person directly to get a better sense and where my intuitions can kick in.for the most part though i think tracie did a good job in answering. i would re read what she wrote and make sure you follow her advice with your friend. it's good if you can take her mind off things, but that would only be a temporary solution. also, she may not be suicidal and just reaching out but as her friend, i advise you not to assume that and take her words seriously. if her depression gets worse, she may have to visit with a psychiatrist to possibly get on some depression meds, mood stabilizers, and possibly anxiety meds as depression will cause a chemical imbalance. as her loyal friend, you would probably be able to help her guide her in that area the most in what may be neededi can tell you one thing right now though. her family being distant and not connected as a "normal" family isn't the problem. people don't get suicidal over those issues. it is something more personal to HER. i am curious how old she is and if she is going to school and what her grades are like.again, i think you are a good friend. maybe you can convince her of signing up here and meeting a few of us. you can't have too many friends ya know. she may not like it though that her personal problems are being spread publically. it could just question her loyalty towards you but i would really like her to speak for herself and open up a little to those who are willing to listen like myself.if there are other issues you can't really talk about in public feel free to shoot me a pm. i don't like hearing about people who are depressed or suicidal. i have fought depression all my life and there have been a few times where i have been suicidal. also, sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers than people you know about certain problems so i think it might be advantageous for her to share her story herself. plus, writing and talking about things is a way to release.now on a more spiritual note, everyone feels weak at one point in their life. but even when a person thinks they have hit rock bottom, they will always hold an inner strength that even THEY don't recognize sometimes. it's up to you as a friend to help her recognize her inner strength and and also why she may have to go through what she is going through right now. with every negative situation, there can be a positive to it. you as a friend have to help her see the positive and why she was born in the first place and what she is meant to do in life and not waste it. you are her friend for a reason. tell her why you are her friend. reinforce the good qualities you see and how it would be a waste if she can't share those good qualities with other people in the future if she continues to think suicidal thoughts and act on them. her problems are on a personal level so help her on more of a personal level in who she is beyond the depression.also, if she wants to talk to someone who has been depressed all his life and has had those suicidal thoughts, send her my way. although her situation is unique and i wouldn't be able to fully understand, i can relate and i know i can help. more than i am willing to say right now. i wish the best for her and i wish the best for you as well because i know you are worried and you don't know fully what to do or say to her. i can tell you though that as a true friend, sometime you don't even have to say a word. just being there is enough.

[contactskn 2]

Dear friend depression is a problem being faced by most of the young ones now a days. But its really not at good to be so. My suggestion over this is that first of all make her feel homely with yourself. So that the lack of homely love and affection which she is having could be curtailed. And then try to move her mental state from the current one and convince her that she is having one of the god's biggest blessing and that's human life and she should never think of spoiling it or destroying it. After this slowly with good counceling and your friendly convincing you should try to change her thoughts and thinking towards her life.