Hey Guy Problems

[iGuest 3]

Okay, this is a long story but here goes?a couple of years ago I went out with this guy for a few months. Now it was my understanding at the time that we both really liked each other but it didn?t work out, his excuse being that he didn?t think I liked him even though I obviously did. Now fast forward to New Year?s Night when he approached me at a club, much to my surprise, we spoke briefly and then he just walked away which left me feeling extremely confused.

So being drunk and slightly annoyed I text him and he said he wanted to keep talking to me but was under the impression I wasn?t happy to see him even though I was more than polite to him. I just don?t know here he keeps drawing these conclusions from, it seems he thinks I don?t like him and don?t want to see him in his own mind when in reality it?s exactly the opposite.Anyway, I met him that night and things kind of rekindled. I felt as if I liked him a lot more this time round, he asked me for a second chance and apologized and I accepted thinking he?d changed.

But, he obviously hasn?t changed and he?s now doing the exact same thing that he did 2 years ago, which is texting me all the time, saying he wants to see me again & how much he likes me and then not bothering to even ask me out. And if I confront him about this, his excuse will undoubtedly be that he thinks I don?t like him again. He just seems so insecure I can?t believe it and when we were together before he kept going on about my looks and got jealous if I even mentioned another guy. I really like this guy and took me bumping into him again like that as a second chance, but his bizarre behavior is baffling me again and I just don?t know what to do. And by the way, it?s not very often I get hung up on a guy as I?m very picky so when I do find someone I like I want to try and make it work.

- Char

 

[chaos3932 0]

Well, a person who is insecure needs security. Maybe you should constantly keep in touch with him and convince him that you are seriously interested. Knock it into his brain if you have to! >.>

[jaychant 0]

I am personally a bit insecure myself. Just be patient, talk to him often, and try hard not to make him feel bad. One thing you should keep in mind: Do not bring up under any circumstances bring up his insecurity. Doing this will just make him more insecure and he'll run out again.Another thing to keep in mind is that he is probably extremely nervous about asking you out. I myself am like that, where it takes every single ounce of courage I have to even talk to a girl. In the case that this guy is the same way, it might help if you ask him out instead of waiting for him to ask.Ignore his "bizarre" behavior. Under no circumstances should you even hint at it, because it may cause a really insecure person to collapse.I hope I've helped.--Jaychant

[guzmanhou 0]

Yupp sounds like insecurity to me. Talk to him, let him know how much you really like him. Let him know what it is you like so much about him it will make him feel much better about himself and maybe he'll finally realize that you really do.

[Dook-E 0]

As jaychant said, for some guys it takes up all they have to start talking to someone because they can't get the 'what will they think' idea out of their head. Second step is the 'shall I ask her out' question. Theres a BIG difference between casual talking and an actual date. He might be terrified about several things that could go wrong or that he could do wrong. Not asking you is, in some weird way, making sure that nothing goes wrong, if theres not a date, nothing can go wrong! As jay also said, why don't you ask him out? If it seems to be such a big step for him, and if he's so insecure, maybe you should ask? He will still be frightened though, and might even cancel or say no for the previous given reason, u should consist then, and tell him you don't take no for an answer and that it will all be great/ok. Because behind the 'no' will be a very excited yet frightened to death person :lol:He probably realises that he is behaving weirdly, the problem is that, the more you say that he does, the more he will act weird, because then he gets the feeling that he is messing everything up which only leads to more insecurity. If it works out, he will need to get his confidence up though because people with such low self esteem, (ive been there) tend to be quite jealous aswell as you also mentioned before. This is because of the insecurity and the thought that everyone is a threat/better than you. It takes a lot of work to get that image out of their head, but if that is what you really want, than that is what you have to do!