My Friend And Our Discussuion

[Bluebear 0]

I have had this discussion with one of my friends a million times and I find it quite weird. She is one of those who turn mad and crazy if I say anything that she do not agree with, or in many cases she do not even answer back... probably because she has no answer and do not know what to say. I had problems comming up with a topic title, so haha.

 

So here is the deal: My friends is born and raised in Norway. She has lived here her whole life. Both of her parents are Persian, but they immigrated to Norway before she was born. She has never even been to Iran! I also have lots of other friends who come from different countries and those who are born and raised here say they are from Norway. She always tell me that she is Persian. I tell her that she is not born there or she has never been there. She keeps telling me that she know where she is from. On and on and on... Yes, her parents are from Iran and she origins from Iran. If my parents were from New York, but they moved to Las Vegas before I were born or I lived there most of my life: would I be from NY or LV? Where my parents are from do not have anything to say regarding where I am from. If my parents were Swedish but I was born and raised in Norway, I would say that I am from Norway - though my parents are Swedish and that is my orgin.

 

The whole thing kind of confuses me. I know that probably many of you think she knows the best, and she should. Unfortunately I do not agree with her, and I am freaking tired of this discussion. Most people in Norway that orgins from another country want to be included in the community: They do not us to say that they are from Sweden, Germany, England, Somalia, Pakistan... They want us to accept that they are just as much Norwegian as everyone else. Well the whole thing is just kind of confusing!

 

So yes, I would like to know your oppinions before I freak out even more. I have won this discussion with her before, and she kept silent about it for some days... but now she is back. Confusing. Argh.

[Evolke 0]

Your friend is from Norway. Simple as that. If she argues ask her where her home is. Is her home that she lives and sleeps in, in Iran? From what you've said- No its not. :)My mother is from England and came to Australia when she was six. But that doesn't make me English. I have English in my blood, but I am still an Australian. Your friend sounds stubborn

[Bluebear 0]

Well we are both kind of stubborn, and none of us ever wants to admit something if we are wrong. I asked her what she said when people asked her where she was from when she was on holiday, and she did not answer at all. Because she knows I am right. Some of her views on different things are totally different than what you expect, and it is just annoying! She turns all weird and "I am better than you" whenever I win this discussion. Even I know more about some parts of her religion than she does, and I do not even care about religions so that should almost speak for itself...

[moogie 0]

Is it really important who wins this discussion? Isn't it more important to accept our friends for what and who they are and accept the fact the they have opinions different from our own?I understand that you're frustrated but whether she's right or you're right shouldn't matter. Both of you should try to accept each other regardless of your differences

[serverph 0]

does your friend own a passport yet? that will solve the question of her nationality. but that is just being "practical", to settle a discussion with a document. she's just proud of her heritage, so it should not be a big deal at all. she can be persian-norwegian, or norwegian-persian, or just persian, or norwegian -- whichever she likes. she can be klingon for all you care, and you should just accept it, being her friend. it's better you don't get caught in the traps of labels, for in the end they are just that: labels.

[Bluebear 0]

Of course she has a passport. A Norwegian one. And yes, we love discussions and plenty of my other friends joined me in at this one. We always say that she is "Norwegian with Persian origin." It is not very important, but annoying for both of us. I have told her a million times that I do know her origin is Persian, but she is just as much Norwegian than I am. (At least I think so, she would disagree.) Her mum can not go back to Iran because of this thingy, but she can whenever she "grows up." We are not exactly labelling her or anyone else, it is just a discussion about nationality. She is even quite different from her own parents. We have a influence on her. (Probably a bad one.) The whole thing is just kind of confusing, but we are a very confused people so that is all right.

Edited October 21, 2008 by Bluebear (see edit history)