want_a_new_life 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2008 About a month ago my girlfriend / best friend of nearly 7 years started acting really secretive and started doubting my fidelity. (I wasn't / never did cheat.. had two more payments on an engagement ring). One night after she came home late we had a huge not so sober agruement where I was told she was staying out late with "people" to vent and she was not happy.... she said she had been seeing someone so i kicked her out of my house... She came back the next morning to get some clothes... i told her she had 7 days get remove her furniture and she agreed. She now lives with her brother whom I am very close to... Her brother told me something that I believe to be true; that she was depressed that shes 28 and has nothing to show for herself, no college degree, terrible job, no money... her unhappiness was with herself but I was an easier target to blame. As much as i try not to talk to her we end up hanging out from time to time... She is my best friend.. hard to erase everything at once.. Her phone rings the entire time. I hurts me so much to be around her but even more to be away from her... I am still crushed from all of this... I havent slept more than 3 hours straight and have lost more than 30lbs. I am depressed but try to keep up appearances. I am rambling... ok.. here is my issue... She says she has moved on. Doesn't live with me anymore. yet her mailing address has not changed and all of her furniture, clothes, pictures, everything is still at my house. So she gets a fresh clean slate and i get constant reminders when i can't eat or sleep. I want to work things out with her because I think she is the one for me... No one's smile has lifted my heart and no one's eyes have seem my soul like hers. I know that time heals all wounds but from my current situation time really means an eternity. I am forced to sit alone in my home and wonder if she is just taking some time apart to sort herself out. Her leaving everything she owns at my house has got me so confused. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
God-Of-Earth 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2008 It seems as though its the constant not knowing where you stand that has you feeling this way. as you say she has moved out but her things are at yours, this alone is confusing. In all honesty i would say that trying not to talk to her is the worst thing. Get together and try to find out what she wants and what she is thinking of the situation. You obviously love this woman so go for it, and at least be clear you want to be with her. One the other hand if she is clear in her own mind and to you that its over forever then i would look towards getting a fresh start for yourself too. ie, Arranging for the to collect her things. Im afraid this is my best advice. I wish you the very best of luck and im sorry you feel so bad. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Echo_of_thunder 1 Report post Posted September 24, 2008 I have had almost the same thing happen to me with my girl. We have worked out our problems and trials, and we just think of this as a Test of our love for each other. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
want_a_new_life 0 Report post Posted September 24, 2008 I have had almost the same thing happen to me with my girl. We have worked out our problems and trials, and we just think of this as a Test of our love for each other. Did you avoid contact with her or she with you? I tend to feel ignored but I can take things personaly in my state currently. I dont know if she is expecting me to fight and prove my love for her or give her space and have no contact. I want her to miss me and realize what she is willing to give up. As the days pass i start to feel more and more like a used puppet and she is my master... the worst thing is that she knows she has control over me. Im whipped and we are not even together... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saint_Michael 3 Report post Posted October 5, 2008 Well if you have tried to fix the relationship at every possible angle then just move, and to move on I suggest packing up all her stuff load it up in a vehicle and drop it off to where she lives or just straight up sell the stuff and make some money off it if she doesn't care what you do with it. Other then that if yo haven't tried to solve this problem at every angle try supporting and encouraging her to make her life better, by going to school and trying to earn a degree because people much older then her are doing that in order to get a new start in their lives. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nol 0 Report post Posted October 5, 2008 If you truly 100% want to be with her just try and encourage her to get her life somewhere. Encourage her to go to school, to join a group or activity. If you encourage her to do whats right enough times she will understand how caring you are, and she will see that you are always trying to look out for her, and if she doesn't want to accept that its not worth it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mbafactory 0 Report post Posted December 11, 2008 Hi, being in a good relation is good, but moving over is more important. Do not haunt yourself with the memories you had with your ex, now she is not with you any more and you must understand this fact. Give her and yourself the space you need. Involve yourself in some recreational stuff and try to keep her out of your mind. If you keep on thinking about her every movement it will be hard to forget her, but if you start doing so, eventually you will find the trick working.After all there is more to life than just relationships, try to fulfill your career ambitions, studies, which will remain with you forever. Hope you get over all this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
