So Yeah, Women Are Screwed Up... or at least this one was...

[.:Piper_2051:. 0]

So, I started seeing this girl after breaking up with my ex, who was pregnant (long story, I taking care of my responsibilities, or trying at least). a few weeks into the "relationship" I started talking to said ex, who had disappeared after we broke up and refused to let me have contact or any info about my daughter (). I of course being smart, open and honest, told the new "girlfriend" about me talking to her, more so to pass on that I now knew about my daughter and share my happiness. She then proceeded on a 20 minute rant about how she didn't like being tossed to the side for my ex, and how thats not fair to her, and she thought we had something, yada yada yada. I tried to explain things to here, letting her know that I was calling to tell her about my daughter, who I just finally got a name and bday and so on for, thinkingf she (the new "girlfriend") would be happy for me, but I guess I was wrong. The Funniest part is, that night she accepted a job 1hr 45minutes away and was moving, but called me to tell me she was sorry and was wondering what the chances of us getting back together were. I laughed and told her none, I could never get over her reaction, and then I told her to have a nice life in her new town.what are your thoughts on it?P.S. The new "girlfriend" was aware of the situation before we started "dating"

[Saint_Michael 3]

Your a Moron that is all I have to say, thus the reason men are the most stupidest beings on Earth, I won't be surprise if she becomes a lesbian because of you. There are not many chances in life to fix a relationship and instead of trying to fix it, you literally tossed her aside and added another check mark in your black book of girls you did.Like I said moron.

[bishoujo 0]

100% agree with Saint Michael that you are a moron. You sound as though you're treating this like a laugh.Which normal woman would like to hear that her boyfriend has been on better terms with his ex? If your girlfriend suddenly told you that she's been contacting her bf more often, would you 'share her joy'? Sure she knew about your situation, but did you tell her what to expect? Did you tell her that she should expect that you'd be interacting more with your ex because of your daughter? Did you tell her you'd have to sacrifice time together with her because you need to look out for your family? If you didn't make sure that she understood what is expected of her before you both started a relationship, then you have absolutely no right to call her 'screwed up'. Judging that you are someone who generalizes issues, like calling the rest of the woman population screwed up when you don't even know us, you deserve what she did to you, which is far less of what you deserve.I really hope your new ex-girlfriend has a better life in her new town. She deserves a far better person than you.

Edited July 11, 2008 by bishoujo (see edit history)

[anwiii 17]

ahhh i disagree with the two comments. you don't sound like a moron. just inexperience with women in general and you are taking this stuff too light hearted like you don't care about your relationships.you were right on the money to dump this other girl who had no understanding of your past or your daughter. kids come first above all in my eyes.BUT!first off, how can you be taking care of your responsibilities when you are just now finding out about your daughter? second off, can't really give an opinion here not knowing why your ex and you broke up.you did good by tellin' the other girl off though. she seems controlling and immature and insensitive and non understanding and the list goes on haha she needs to grow up and mature a little. some guys like the jealousy. maybe you do to. maybe you told her as a reason to break up because you already knew her reaction.so all in all, women aren't really screwed up....well....some of 'm hahaha but my point is the ones that are screwed up are the ones that don't know what they want yet and take advantage of others and emotions in the meantime when you can't even keep a commitment.life is a learning experience and relationships are hard and they take WORK. they aren't easy like dating. with a relationship, you're actually combining your life with another....almost like a marriage with a lessor degree of sacredness attachewd to it.do me a favor though. don't have anymore kids til your married and can keep your commitments. kids are #1 and they deserve a mother AND a father together in a balanced home environment. i'm happy though that your ex called to talk about your daughter. +1 for your ex there. i hope your ready to be a dad and a father bud. if not, better start learning. kids are GREAT. we as adults who have experienced a lot in life can still learn from kids. they're pure without the b.s. of how life has altered us along the way. now if don't have enough money for child support, don't ever let that interfere with your ability to spend time with your daughter. and please. don't teach her to get involved with the guys that will eventually dump them when they are to have a child together. i am sure she will grow up to be better than that. watcha think?on a side note. i remember breaking up with an ex that i didn't even have a kid with. took me over a year to start dating again. how easy was it for you or how meaningfull of a relationship was it to start dating right after you broke up? you need some maturing up yourself too.

[kobra500 1]

Was that a joke?, I mean I know the british sense of humour is different from Canada and the US but I pretty sure that it isn't funny for them either.So basically what your saying is, you dumped something good in your life because of an argument. What, you trying to show your dominance or something. "How dare you shout at me, your dumped" then you come on this forum, act like your in the right, treat it as a big joke.No wonder the mother of your child is so unwilling to give news of your baby, probably doesn't want your daughter to turn anything like you.So heres some advice for you. Sort your life out, learn some respect for women and then make something of your life. Because otherwise your gonna regret you not seeing your daughter for the rest of your life.You made a mistake the 1st time, but you didn't learn from it and you made it again, you have no one to blame except yourself.

Edited July 12, 2008 by kobra500 (see edit history)

[NinjaNT 0]

I guess this is my weird mind speaking but I actually think its funny what happened. She kind of deserved it. She won't go lesbian over something like that. She yelled at you because you talked to your ex about your daughter, which implies she wasn't to bright, and incapable of listening. If she was going to yell at you for just talking to her about that, it would have only gotten worse when you went to spend time with your daughter. Good riddance to stupidity.

 

Oh, and just for you little cynics out there, I'm a girl telling him this. Not a guy. I would hope if I was ever that stupid the same thing would happen to me.

Edited July 13, 2008 by NinjaNT (see edit history)

[kobra500 1]

No ones disagreeing with that bit, it's the

The Funniest part is, that night she accepted a job 1hr 45minutes away and was moving, but called me to tell me she was sorry and was wondering what the chances of us getting back together were. I laughed and told her none, I could never get over her reaction, and then I told her to have a nice life in her new town.

bit we're talking aboout

[.:Piper_2051:. 0]

Your a Moron that is all I have to say, thus the reason men are the most stupidest beings on Earth, I won't be surprise if she becomes a lesbian because of you. There are not many chances in life to fix a relationship and instead of trying to fix it, you literally tossed her aside and added another check mark in your black book of girls you did.
Like I said moron.

100% agree with Saint Michael that you are a moron. You sound as though you're treating this like a laugh.
Which normal woman would like to hear that her boyfriend has been on better terms with his ex? If your girlfriend suddenly told you that she's been contacting her bf more often, would you 'share her joy'? Sure she knew about your situation, but did you tell her what to expect? Did you tell her that she should expect that you'd be interacting more with your ex because of your daughter? Did you tell her you'd have to sacrifice time together with her because you need to look out for your family? If you didn't make sure that she understood what is expected of her before you both started a relationship, then you have absolutely no right to call her 'screwed up'. Judging that you are someone who generalizes issues, like calling the rest of the woman population screwed up when you don't even know us, you deserve what she did to you, which is far less of what you deserve.

I really hope your new ex-girlfriend has a better life in her new town. She deserves a far better person than you.

Ok U two, I think your missing the point here, How am I supposed to have a relationship with a woman who flips out over the fact that I am talking to the mother of my child? She was made aware before we started seeing each other that my daughter will always come first, and at the time she seemed to understand and even agree with me, but when I call to share the good news that I know know her name and such, she flips out, but Im the moron?

[Saint_Michael 3]

Um yes, because of the fact you should have worked things out with the mother of your child before looking for another woman. As it seems in that long story short, the only thin you took care of was finding out your daughters name and all that stuff. Of course, the next part to you being a moron was the fact you took that fight so personal that instead of fixing it with this other girl you basically told her to go to hell when she wanted to fix things.With those two reasons I stand by my position.

[.:Piper_2051:. 0]

Um yes, because of the fact you should have worked things out with the mother of your child before looking for another woman. As it seems in that long story short, the only thin you took care of was finding out your daughters name and all that stuff. Of course, the next part to you being a moron was the fact you took that fight so personal that instead of fixing it with this other girl you basically told her to go to hell when she wanted to fix things.
With those two reasons I stand by my position.

and although I respect your opinion here S/M, Your wrong,My daughter was born in May, the 24th to be exact, and I just last Friday, managed to get a hold of her mother, who dropped off the face of the earth for a little while (Since the middle of May) during which time I was working my rear end of at work, and trying to track the ex down and find my daughter, make sure she was ok, see if they needed anything, etc etc etc. How can I not take it personal? The new woman freaks out because I'm talking to my ex, about our daughter, and she thinks that after about a week of seeing each other she has the right to complain and argue about my dealings with the mother of my child? I don't think so, any woman in my life comes second to my daughter, end of story, and if that makes me a moron, imbecile or any other flagrantly descriptive word you wish to misuse, then so be it, but my daughter is #1, has been since she was conceived.

[midnightvamp 1]

I don't really know if I get the whole story here... but I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you wanting to take responsibility for your daughter. Granted things don't always turn out the way you want them to in life, but I hope you can work to make your daughters life just a little bit better. I hate to see children growing up without contact to both parents, so I hope that you continue to learn more about your daughter and that your ex-girlfriend allows for the chance that your daughter gets to know you as well.

[anwiii 17]

so explain to us what happened with your ex? i think some people are getting confused because only 1/2 a story was told. i'm curious now what's going on with you, your daughter and your ex.anyway, i agree children should always come #1. your ex did right thing in contacting you. your other ex was wrong in flipping out immaturely and without support. i woulda dumped her in an instant too i don't play any games and if someone can do that once, they can do it again and worse things. good riddance to her.now explain this past with your ex....i'm sure i'm not the only one who is curious

[WindyDreams 0]

Children are very Important in Life ,that is for sure although some parents do not know there a parent till years down the road at same time you really have to wonder why that person waited to tell till later instead sharing news then .Now that you know you have a daughter ,should stay part of that child growing up years and even though a child grows up ,never stop being there for them at any given time .although allow acceptance that child has to experience there own good and mistakes in learning and growing up as young adults too.Still be there as a parent though .Responsibilities are big scary ordeal for anyone to master or share into without blaming anything in life as a excuse to keep from handling those responsibilities ,it is great to give advice to anyone in this world ,it is a shame one can not live out there own advice without excuses .When you are in a Relationship and speak pretty words of Love to another ,you just do not wake up one day and tell them hit the road without explanations or trying smooth out the wrinkles in relationship ,so what if she became overwhelmed with you talking with mother of your child ,maybe she held good reasons too ,maybe no one cared to ask her those reasons without just using emotions of anger or don't give a hoot for anyone's feelings except there own ,that is and never will be a relationship when one places own self above anyone else in life .Art of growing up is speaking from the Heart and not through emotions which said easier than acted upon I know .Calling women screwed up is wrong to even speak .First of all ,speaking your side as if it the real side is wrong ,it does take two sides that should be considered in life or relationship weather there is hurt or bad choices in relationship ,if both parties do not ever come together to talk from the heart yes! there is going to be complications and mistakes that always end up hurting you or the other .It seems no one ever told this other woman what to expect in all this and women?s emotions run strong and yes sometimes that tiny voice inside our heads make our emotions stronger that really is not the case at all although nothing ever gets solved as nothing gets discussed or another?s feelings respected .The grass is always greener in neighbors yard especially if there is something much more waiting for you .Or do we always assume that .You exactly right there in last posts which normal woman would like to be compared or always hearing about the ex ?not many .Sometimes there has to be understanding in relationship ,be heard ,be sensitive ,love always seems find its way that filters through . How easy when Life gets tough or something better comes around it is to blame another for expectations placed on that person ,without speaking from your heart or trying to be understood and allow own self to allow self to understand why another acts the way they did without coming to down fall in laying that blame or using words against another ,maybe it should make another feel good ,acting this way .In a relationship and can act this way ,makes life sad that we can treat others certain way and use words I love you and make decisions to walk out that relationship because of lack of understanding or expectations or not speakin from the heart .Sometimes expectations are to high for another to handle and what is sad is no one see it till its to late .So you know you have a daughter and hope you will always be there with acceptance and complete understanding ,even when that child grows up and maybe hurts you as a father ,that you would have matured enough in own self to never see it as hurting so much for own self for mistakes done in life ,more on lines to reac out with your heart and love your daughter no matter what .Without expectations .you see getting hurt is one thing ,misunderstanding is another .Love holds a package in Life .What happens if another woman comes along and says hey your father of my son !What will you do then ?stop! and ignore your ex whom is mother of your child and maybe your own daughter because hey grass is greener next door with your ex that is saying you have a son and is there father .You really need take a closer look on yourself and How you view others that touch your lfe ,having children is not just about yourself no more ,knowing it is one thing ,taking closer look on How you will adjust own life and combine your life in that little girls heart and never isolate her or ignore her .Take life with ALL it's packages with utter most love ,you hold strong within yourself .Now it is not just about you.Knowing this ,What do you teach your child ,its okay to hurt peoples feelings and use words to judge them due to fact maybe you never made your own self clear in first place .

[Mermaid711 0]

First of all, why did you not use protection when you were having sex with the first girl? And why on earth where you having sex with her? I bet you're not in love with her, and that's not okay. Anyway, you can't expect your current girlfriend to not be pissed off that you got another girl pregnant. And what Saint_michael said, I have seen a woman become a lesbian after a man did something like this.You should have worked things out with your ex. I don't blame her for not letting you know squat about your kid, and I can honestly say that for the well-being of your child I hope it doesn't change any time soon.And you can't expect her to not shout at you. Besides, isn't this just a tad hypocritical? You would probably be very angry if your girlfriend let you know that she is talking with her ex, so it isn't fair for you to yell at her, much less dump her.And I do agree with the next comment that followed mike's. She does deserve better than you. They both deserve better than you. I've put up with this *BLEEP* before and it's not worth the time for her to put up with your immature crap.ANDYou're not taking care of your responsibillities if you walk out on your pregnant girlfriend. That child is your responsibillity. That child needs a good father, but then again you really don't seem to be good father material so maybe the woman will meet a loving and kind man who will be there for it instead of your flakey *bottom*.Like kobra500 said, take a break from women. You obviously don't know how to handle them. Just because you are a man does not give you the right to "put her in her place." She has every right to go off on you. She has every right to be pissed off at you. And you deserve every last bit of it.And to NinjaNT, I've seen a woman go lesbian over something like this. As for piper's comments, SM is more right than you are. I personally (being of the female gender) disagree with a few of his thoughts, but dude? You are wiggity wiggity wack!

[WindyDreams 0]

Very well spoken in your reply mermaid ,it was to the point of reality and this person should take some gret advice given here .There is nothing ,should be dumped on a woman or a woman be put in there place ,because a man can and will do it .Do not expect a woman to respond with being spoken that way ,although sometimes men get to sensitive and hurt if woman responds being treated like that in return ,as if life its okay to speak your feelings out as a man or treat certain way although not okay for a woman ,that is completely wrong .Maybe this woman held good reasons why she never spoke out ,telling she was with child ,right from the start .When a child is involved it is not just about that man and How he should come as importance ,it is about that child and future of raising this child .As for women turning the roles in reality becoming a lesbian in there chemistry here .life sometimes turns out that way ,when a woman gets to living life with man ,all that love turns into that woman carrying weight of the world on her shoulders ,always doing for the one she love ,used and emotional abused upon day to day ,never hearing a sweet kind word of respect ,living a life of isolation ,Feeling the ma having last finial word of power that controls your own life ,creating nothing happy or motivated in ones own self ,the list goes on and on inside a woman?s head in windy thoughts ,yes so they turn to another same sex ,as in life at least there being understood and accepted ,as each have experienced the same disrespect in sweet Kind word of Love .This woman with a Child I hope she takes a good look at her Life for sake of herself and wonderful respect of well being of her child .Being a Father in child?s life is not wow I got a brand new toy here now that changes everything till the new wears off .It is a life time giving with all Respects of own self ,freely and loving with understanding and acceptance filled with knowledge ,life is not just about you no more and Who you want to be ,as it surrounds around that child ,that was created and ensuring bright loving happy future with so much room to grow in .Hard Road to offer especially if one has lived a life that was created only for himself and Who he wants to be and live as .There has been great advice from everyone in this topic ,in hopes maybe this guy will absorb something from all this .