Am I Gay? What Is The Definition Of Gay? Im confused :(

[A200 0]

Hi all,I have a big question I need to sort out... What is considered gay?I have been asking myself this for ages, am I, or aren't I?Ok I like to watch gay porn (ok I hope noone I know is reading this , is it possible to have this topic hidden after its been answered ??? just so noone reads it who knows me and spreads rumours) but the thing is, I only like it if its only 1 person... I find the whole idea of two guys putting their thingy up other peoples you-know-what to be revolting... but I get turned on by boys with fit hot bodies... and kissing as well, but the thing is, I have no personal desire to have gay sex with anyboy and if a boy tried to kiss me I would run and hide... I find chicks hot, I used to have a girlfriend a few years ago but I went to high school and haven't contacted her since (I don't think it was considered girlfriend status as we never went out, never kissed and only touched each other like, what? once, which was a hug I think when she was upset). But I never warm up at all to porn with chicks in it, and don't get sexually stimulated by the sight of one... but I do find them 'hot'...Am I gay? Am I straight? Or am I bi (!!!!!!!). I don't really consider myself gay or bi, I am unsure! HELP!It is wierd... I can stand the sight of a penis, but I cannot stand the sight of a vagina... I am one mixed up person.Can anyone help? PLEASE? This is one confused 16 year old here

[Inhuman 0]

I think you might actually be gay. Yea, gay sex buttsecks could be revolting to you, but remember, gays do other things as well. I mean yea, you find chicks to be hot, but that's only recognizing someone's beauty. I think you would run and hide after being kissed from a dude because you might be scared to accept the fact that you might actually be gay. Like, you said it yourself, you find dudes more sexually attractive than chicks. Thus, you sir are gay. At least, that's what I'm getting out of your post.

[Lyon2 0]

Gay, which is normaly used by all, is a person that has only sexual appeal for persons of the same sex (male with male and/or female with female), and not a man that likes man like most people perhaps think.Obviously, there are other definitions, gay can or could be a person very feminine but not necessarily homosexual, being homosexual a person that has sexual appeal only for persons of the same sex which is equal to gay, i should say so.In my opinion, and considering the society definition of gay, which i already said, you are not gay if you are heterosexual, unless you are homosexual or even bisexual which is a person that has sexual appeal for both male and female.Now, i guess you can sure if you are or not gay/homosexual or perhaps bisexual, but that does not tell you who you are, only your sexual preferences, you do not have fault for nothing that it is not a fault, you can only discover who you realy are as long as your experience of life increases and it directly depends on what you do in face of your fears, in face of bad and difficult situations that eventualy uour will have on your life, on your future, perhaps even closer that you think.Everybody falls, but what makes us strong is the capability of rising up to that fall.

Edited March 25, 2008 by Lyon2 (see edit history)

[cangor 0]

Yeah, I definitely don't think you're gay, I mean, like you might just be at an awkward period where you're not sure yet, but I'm guessing you're bi or just plain confused... I dunno, sometimes these things need time to sort themselves out.

[musicmaza 0]

Gay means to have sexual desire or appeal for the same sexFirst of all its better to check yourself first.Well with the things you said like watching gay porn etc I think that you may or may not be a gay with the experiences you are undergoing through.it is possible that You may not be a gay but you like to watch the gay porn or in other words you think gay porn is fascinatingAnd as you said that you find chicks hot ...but seeing one doesn't increase your sexual appeal...this is think is more complicated than the previous one.Anyways If you are just fascinated by gays than it would be better to beleive in yourself and not to watch gay porn anymore. Its just a advice given ....rest is upto you....afterall its your life and you can live it in anyway.

[KansukeKojima 0]

Many people in society often argue that you are either born gay or straight... well... I beg to differ. Its your choice man, do you want to be gay, straight, or bisexual? Its your choice, not your bodies or your hormones, etc.

[Archangel_Baw 0]

It sounds to me like you just have an addiction to gay porn, which does NOT make you gay, however, I also think, before you will KNOW your sexual orientation, perhaps you need to explore your desire for other men and experience it to the same extent that you have with women in order to find out for certain. But ONLY if you are comfortable in doing so. If not, wait until you are.And spend less time trying to FIT IN by slapping a label on yourself, you're worth so much more than that and it doesn't matter if you're gay, bi or straight so long as you are being honest with yourself.If it's that conflicting of an issue for you. Stop watching porn period and focus on other areas of your life.As for anyone who would gossip about this, I wouldn't worry about it, it just shows others how shallow, self-absorbed, inconsiderate & immature they are. It also shows they have a complete lack of respect for the privacy and boundaries of others and doesn't really look bad on you at all. This isn't something you just bring up over tea in conversation, people they blab to with think they are spun and stop associating with them. So it will only backfire on the person with the loose lips, not you:)

Edited March 25, 2008 by Archangel_Baw (see edit history)

[A200 0]

I really am unsure now reading people's comments.I really don't want to be gay... but I half am... this is weird...I don't really want to encounter an 'experience' at all... hey ill stop watching it as well and see how I go when I was younger I never even considered the possibility that I was *person* but now I just don't know....

[Thingcubed 0]

As you're only 16, my suggestion would be to not worry about it too much at this point. Give yourself a few years to figure out what you really want. Who knows how you'll feel in a couple years, but 16 is usually an age where you're trying to figure out where your place is socially. Don't let how you feel about sexual stuff influence how you interact with other people on a normal social level.

[332083 0]

Many people in society often argue that you are either born gay or straight... well... I beg to differ. Its your choice man, do you want to be gay, straight, or bisexual? Its your choice, not your bodies or your hormones, etc.

Being gay is never decided.I knew a gay guy once, he said he never chose, he never was given options.
If you think you decide to be gay or not, I would suggest research on the mater before posting.

[GrinningKittie 0]

*waves*Hellosies!Okay so let's take a few views on this eh?Homosexual means you are not just physically but SEXUALLY attracted to the same sex. Sexuality usually walks hand in hand with emotional and mental too. Usually is the key word here ( it's what our society expects for us yes? Love, sex, and marriage and all that right?).Heterosexual means the same thing only applied to the opposite sex.Bi-sexual means that the physical gender doesn't get in the way of the rest of it. If you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, attracted and/or fulfilled by either gender then this fits you. After all lips are lips, hands are hands, and cuddling is cuddling. There are more ways to share intimacy than just pole to hole ( please do forgive the crassness of this description, though it does describe both homosexual/heterosexual and hence bi sexual "home base" intimate activities).So is it weird to look at guys when you are a guy? No. BTW this is NORMAL. No really. Lots of guys ( full grown men too) check out other guys. It's a comparison thing. There is nothing wrong with saying "Wow that guy is hot!" when you are a guy. It could mean you have something to work up to, something you wish you had ( such as girth or length in your reproductory organs......also known as "penis envy") or it could mean that you appreciate his physical aesthetics ( which is NOT the same as wanting him in a sexual manner).It sounds like you are comfortable with the body structure of other males ( as you stated you can "stand" a penis). How was the relationship you had with your girlfriend? Did it end okay or badly? A lot of males have a hard time in relationships with females at the time you are in with your life. Females can seem perplexing and daunting ( even hurtful) sometimes ( especially in their teens as they are trying to define and find themselves and their niche in society as well as life just as much as you are). So there is no shame in identifying with the "safe" ( male) gender. This btw also does not make you gay.You also mentioned that you are not necessarily attracted to males in a sexual way. It sounds like you are just comfortable with their physical structure. Gay? Bi? Straight?I don't have the answers for you. Ask yourself some questions and BE HONEST!( Aside from peer pressure and what others think of you.....)"How do I feel about physically being ( touching, kissing, cuddling, hugging) another guy?""How do I feel about emotionally committing myself to another guy( opening myself up to and being supportive of the other person in the relationship)?""How do I see myself in this relationship ( strong, leading, sensitive, following, etc.)?""How do I feel about physically being ( touching, kissing, cuddling, hugging) a gal?""How do I fell about emotionally committing myself to a gal ( opening myself up to and being supportive of the other person in the relationship)?""How do I see myself in this relationship ( strong, leading, sensitive, following, etc.)?"Huh?Aren't those the SAME questions?Yes. And they apply to BOTH ( in fact really ALL THREE) situations.I disagree that gay, bi, and straight are choices. I have blue eyes. Sure I could wear contacts to please others and make them think that I have grey, green or brown eyes. However I have blue eyes. I did not ask for them. They came with me as a package. And that is how I view sexuality.You canna make a heterosexual truly gay any more than you can turn a gay straight. And for bi's? They just don't let gender get in the way.I can say that.I'm one of them ( the bi's that is and I am happily MONOGAMOUSLY married.... I can't touch but I can still look and appreciate and my hubby has no probs with that).So watch your gay porn. THAT does na make you gay. Unless you are having sexual fantasies about said actors then that may be a clue ( and from what you said gay porn does na do "That" for you.Feeling grossed out about vaginas and the package that comes with them ( the REST of the female)? Sorry. No gay points there either. There are grown VERY STRAIGHT (and even MARRIED) men that will do very little with a vagina ( and some not at all due to various reasons and yes I have met several who view the V word with angst, worry and even scorn). Ask yourself some of those questions.Notice how NONE of them had to do with SEX? People put TOO MUCH emphasis on sex. If a relationship ( in the human world) was only sex based.....well you can see how that goes. Condos and cell phones put aside we would be no better than skunks ( check out the ritual of coitus with skunks and you will see what I mean).RELATIONSHIPS regardless of gender depend on SO MUCH MORE than sexual intimacy.So which questions are you comfortable with?Males?Females?Both?No matter what you personally conclude to, there is no wrong answer.IMO none is better than any other.Gays are not "full of diseases" or engage in strictly "deviant" activities.Straights do not engage in just "plain "intimate activities or are afraid to add variety to their intimate lives.Bi's are not "greedy" and sleep with anything with two legs.These are just statements to make one sexual preference seem superior over another. And in the end a relationship isn't about sex. It's about respect. Some even call that type of respect love.I hope you find peace with yourself in this dilemma.

[Moogler 0]

I completely agree with Archangel. You need time to explore, without worrying about the limitations society has set upon us for being who we are. Just be. We owe it to ourselves to be who we are. Because only through that, can we love ourselves. And we can only love another, when we know how to love the person within us.I am gay, and when I first came out and was asked what I thought of anal sex, I said the same thing. It made me shudder. Now, this may differ for you entirely, but I, myself, upon exploring my sexuality, and finding out which one I was (as I was confused as much as you were at one point) I found myself starting to answer the question. I was gay. And eventually, the sex thing just passed.Even now, I sometimes find myself questionning because I'll still find some girls attractive. But that's recognizing the beauty of a human being. Everyone can. Guys can tell when another guy is hot or sexy, but are too afraid to say so. They just show it in jealousy and fights, when a more attractive man hits on their girlfriend. Because they have no worries when an ugly one does.Alas, it's up to you to explore and find your own path. You owe it to yourself. Not to anyone else, and don't let them tell you any differently.

[Damen 0]

I can't tell by your post but it could be just a phase, but I wouldn't be worried about it. Just be yourself, if one day you feel like liking guys then go ahead! and vise versa also. I am not gay but I suppose I can understand how you feel a bit, I personally am all right with my sexuality to be able to say to my girlfriend if a guy is attractive. I think guys so say they don't know if a guy is "hot" or not are lying.All I can say is do NOT worry if you are gay or not, gay is just a word that people call other people. Be, feel, and act on your feelings. It doesn't matter if you don't find vagina's or penises attractive right now just do what makes you happy dude.

[KansukeKojima 0]

Being gay is never decided.

I knew a gay guy once, he said he never chose, he never was given options.

If you think you decide to be gay or not, I would suggest research on the mater before posting.

Well, I am going to have to disagree with you.

 

First off all, I'll have to demonstrate the difference between a desire for a male, and literal homosexuality.

 

Simply because you feel a desire for another person of the same sex, would not make you a homosexual.

 

he said he never chose, he never was given options.

Ok, well obviously no one is going to walk up to you and ask "Hey, you have to choose right now! Are you a homosexual? If you say yes, I'm going to shoot you!"

You are always given options, no one is forced to be a homosexual. YOU CHOOSE! Just because you may have a burning desire for another of the same sex, does not mean you actually have to have sex with said person, or another of the same sex in general.

 

Your hormones, chemicals in your body, desires, etc. should not make your decisions for you! You are always able to choose your sexuality!

 

Anyways, this last part is to the original creator of this post. Dude, this truly is your choice. I encourage you to make the choice not to become a homosexual, however, I will not (nor am I able) force you to do anything you do not want to.

 

Its your decision make it when you want

Edited May 16, 2008 by KansukeKojima (see edit history)

[gaspe86 0]

Hi all,
I have a big question I need to sort out... What is considered gay?

I have been asking myself this for ages, am I, or aren't I?

Ok I like to watch gay porn (ok I hope noone I know is reading this , is it possible to have this topic hidden after its been answered ??? just so noone reads it who knows me and spreads rumours) but the thing is, I only like it if its only 1 person... I find the whole idea of two guys putting their thingy up other peoples you-know-what to be revolting... but I get turned on by boys with fit hot bodies... and kissing as well, but the thing is, I have no personal desire to have gay sex with anyboy and if a boy tried to kiss me I would run and hide...

I find chicks hot, I used to have a girlfriend a few years ago but I went to high school and haven't contacted her since (I don't think it was considered girlfriend status as we never went out, never kissed and only touched each other like, what? once, which was a hug I think when she was upset). But I never warm up at all to porn with chicks in it, and don't get sexually stimulated by the sight of one... but I do find them 'hot'...

Am I gay? Am I straight? Or am I bi (!!!!!!!). I don't really consider myself gay or bi, I am unsure! HELP!

It is wierd... I can stand the sight of a penis, but I cannot stand the sight of a vagina... I am one mixed up person.

Can anyone help? PLEASE? This is one confused 16 year old here

First of all what do you mean by liking it when it is only one person? Do you mean its a man masturbating or what ever he decides to do to himself in a sexual way. The fact that you get turned on with a male figure excludes the being straight out of the map... you are either bi or gay.... but if you do not get turned on my women... my friend you are closer to being gay then being bisexual. A 16 year old not being able to withstand a vagina? Hell, that has homosexuality all over it.