Am I Suppressing My Anger

[taz15964 0]

Dear All,I was hoping to get some help, or if not just to know that some one out there feels the same way i do.I am a 27 year old man.It seems that a lot of people these days are angry, angry for so many reasons, from driving the car, manners etc. But i have to say that i am not one of these people, and i don't know if that is a good thing or not. I very rarely get angry once a month and even then i do not raise my voice i do not shout but tell the offender how i feel, and how their actions have upset me. I am very optimistic i smile a lot and i try to always be polite to other people. I am not some religious man, i do go out and have drinks, get drunk and have fun with friends. My life is not perfect in actual fact i am in financial problems and due to RSI a life in design is no longer open to me. But even that doesn't get me down i just move on to the next thing and try and sort out my life. Here is the question. Am i normal? Are my feelings and the way i look at life a normal thing because i really don't see anyone else around me who behaves like me.Or am i suppressing my anger to the point that i am not even aware of it. Is the fact that my father being an angry man, repulsed me from those types of emotions.Should i look for a way to feel more anger or is my attitude a good thing?If anyone knows what i am talking about please let me know.Kind regards Taz

[Saint_Michael 3]

Your not suppressing your anger, you have a very good control over it, unlike some people. It took me 20+ years to finally get control over mine; although, sometimes that cork will pop and you will bust out some good rage but thats only if you hold back and don't say anything. However, since you talk it out and express that anger I don't see that cork popping at all for you. As for your father being angry well that could go either way and most people are difference when have angry parents. Right now your doing the smart thing and talking it out, instead of walking away and thinking about it, and so I would say keep doing what your doing and you will be fine. Of course if you do go postal make sure not to mention my name j/k.

[cangor 0]

Yeah, you're just nice and calm. Congrats, I can't stand people who freak out over everything. =)

[Renaissance 0]

You're normal, not the "normal"-normal but the normal-normal, er uh I mean that like you said it appears "normal" to be a jerk but it's just not right you are the genuine normal; by the way have you noticed how swearing has somehow become socially acceptable in the last 10-15 years? You are the kind of person that gives people hope that society is not going down the gutter

[OpaQue 15]

// The answers in this post are my opinions and I m not remarking them as universally acceptable statements //

Hi Taz, Welcome to Xisto. I m glad that you shared your feelings and emotions with us.

I very rarely get angry once a month and even then i do not raise my voice i do not shout but tell the offender how i feel, and how their actions have upset me.

I really appreciate what you have just said here. You telling people when they have lot their wits is one the greatest things anyone can do.

Am i normal?

Yes, Only YOU are normal. Infact, I would say, of all the people you met in your life who got angry for petty reasons, they are no where to be compared to you.

Are my feelings and the way i look at life a normal thing because i really don't see anyone else around me who behaves like me.

Hahaa... It happens. You should have seen me then. LOL. I used to be a very angry person, but in the last few years (yes, it took me years) to change. Now a days, I do not get Angry but yes, I do get frustrated sometimes if I say tons of support tickets and I do not find my employees working. (you know..)

Or am i suppressing my anger to the point that i am not even aware of it. Is the fact that my father being an angry man, repulsed me from those types of emotions.

No my friend, you are just a good soul :-)

Should i look for a way to feel more anger or is my attitude a good thing?

Your attitude is definitely a thing which is a God's gift. Let me know one Good thing which ever arose out of anger. Anger is an emotion (categorized as a negative emotion, I would say)
I term ANGER as personal Pleasure. Just like sadness and Depression, its an emotion which your mind loves to live in. Its like a trance. A person who says "I m usually depressed OR I got depression" knows the feeling of sadness. He goes into depression after his mind chooses to think and think about it.. till it goes into that state of trance in which he might be blaming himself or the pains that someone gave him or who cruel is the world to him..etc.etc.. I hope you get my point.

My Suggestion : In any situation in life, you will know what is good and what is bad. Even if you feel confused, closing your eyes for a min. and thinking about your situation from a "3rd person's" perspective, you will get your answer.

You always know what the society expects of you and What is the thing you are supposed to do. To follow the right path, you will need to put your mind in it. If a particular situation DEMANDS you to get angry (and if the voice within you tells you that the other person deserves a punishment for HIS own Good) then ACT angry.

Yes, I mean it. ACT angry. You might want to bring out this feeling of anger in you.. go ahead, do not stop. But as long as you are doing the RIGHT thing from a THIRD person's perspective, Just do it. In your act, do not cross your limits. (you won't because you are using that emotion for a purpose and not for your PERSONAL pleasure)

I hope, after reading my suggestion, you might realize it some day. And it might help you follow the right path in life :-) I do not expect you to understand it because its just of no use.. Because to apply it, you might never remember it then.

-Peace :-)

[Thing 0]

Anger is a part of our human nature, it's probably not a good thing to suppress it. It's good that you have so much control over that particular emotion, I know I certainly could not - I'd be snapping at everybody probably after only a short period of days.

[linekill 1]

You're actually normal. Just lucky enough to be able to hold back anger or you really have a long string for patience. I don't see it as supressing anger. You mentioned that you don't feel or will take a bit of time to feel anger which means there's nothing to supress. LOL.Just keep on living the way you want it to be. And I agree with OpaQue, it could really be a Gift of God. Time may come when you get so angry. Just let it be.

[Carson 0]

It sounds like you don't actually have any anger to suppress, and the ability to happy all the time is great. So many people suffer from depression, you can be greatful you are always happy. These days, there is no way to describe a normal person. Dont try and look to feel more anger. They you live is probably the way most of us want to live, happy. You have a good thing going for you. Enjoy it.

[bishoujo 0]

You sound pretty normal to me, and you'll probably live to a ripe old life since you seem to have no problem keeping calm and happy. Don't try to look for more ways to feel anger or make yourself agree. Most people are doing the opposite, so be thankful of your lifestyle.As Carson says, there is no way to describe a 'normal person'. As long as you feel genuinely and at ease with yourself, then you are fine. You are only suppressing anger if something makes you upset but you refuse to acknowledge it or speak up about it.

[Archangel_Baw 0]

As an angry person, allow me to say that I have been trying to be MORE like you. I have a very short fuse, and when I tell people how they make me feel, I stand accused of being "too aggressive." Probably because i don't use kind words if I am angry.

 

You should be a zen master or something, because I would love to listen to how it is that you are able to remain calm when someone is clearly trying to insult your intelligence, P*ss you off, or destroy your life either to your face, or behind your back, and seriously thinks you're too stupid to see it.

 

Mind you, I got rid of all the scum in my life years ago, but it didn't solve my anger about any of it. I have never been able to just 'laugh it off', I go straight to the person who is messing with me and confront them because I refuse to do nothing.

 

I would LOVE to be more like you, however I guess I'm just made a little 'different' So to answer your question about if you're normal, I believe you are, and I also believe that I am aswell, we just appear to have different temperments & ways of dealing with things:)

 

Stay happy for as long as you can!

Edited October 17, 2007 by Archangel_Baw (see edit history)

[taz15964 0]

To all of you, many many thanks its very kind of you to take time and respond to my question the way you have.A lot of the things that you have said to me makes sence, and I appreciate your comments.I have to say that the way i behave today is due to a few phrases and opinions that i would like to share, you might find them funny or helpfull either way here they are.1. A stranger will never effect my mood negativly, no matter what, he/she is not worth it. (As a sales assistant in an expencive shop, this was very important).2. Smile, yes when i feel down i just smile... i then laugh at myself for smiling, and there you go i feel much better.3. Laugh at yourself. Life is too short to not find yourself funny. If you do something funny, trip up spill something be the first one to laugh.4. (This is my fav one) You are not singing because you are happy, your happy because your singing. (A friend of mine told me that and it works for me, pick a song that is really uplifting and sing, see how you feel after the song.)Again many thanks to all.Kind regardsTaz

[Spyda 0]

Yeah you're controlling it, instead of taking it out on something or someone (ect. a love one or a friend) This is a good thing because many people cannot control their anger, thus injuring the ones they love. And what do they do afterwards? 'Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you' that sort of thing. So I commend you on the fact you are able to control. Now, every once in a while, it never hurts to take out some of that anger on a punching bag, or a pillow, or in an activity. This way, your not injuring anybody, but your releasing it at the same time.

[master_bacarra 0]

lol I'd rather call someone who's not in control of their anger abnormal than someone like you. hehehe. First of all, welcome to trap (that's coming from someone who's been on hiatus for quite some time)!I don't think you're suppressing your anger at all. I think what helps you with it is your being optimistic. I used to be like you before---people think I'm so full of hope and positive energy that they question where I get all those from. I've been through a lot of personal problems in my life yet I maintain this attitude that "everything will be okay". Don't let it make you jaded though. I think I went through a phase in my life where everything seemed so dull (yeah, I know, so cliche) and meaningless, and all those optimism evaporated into thin air. I suddenly became this irritable person that a simple scratch could mean war. I think any person needs some outlet for their anger every once in a while, just to let go of what's keeping them inside. Some people like to just brush things away as if nothing happened, but that doesn't really solve things. We need to confront our problems so we don't have that excess baggage within us that can also add to the whole "keeping it to oneself".With that, I wish you well and hope that your positive outlook in life will continue on. Don't sweat it too much.