Is Love Enough? Share your thoughts about marriage and divorce.

[TikiPrincess 0]

Last night, my friends and I were hanging out at dinner and we eventually got around to gossiping about other friends that weren't there, especially one couple in particular who got married last October. It looks like their marriage is on the rocks, and they're probably headed for a divorce. Only a couple of months after they got married, the wife would come over without him saying that she didn't even know where he was and that he didn't come home last night. Now he's considering a job opportunity in Las Vegas and she told him that if he takes the job, she might meet him there in a year or so, but she hates Vegas and isn't ready to move there right now.

They dated for at least three years before they got married, and they knew each other longer than that. They had both dated other people before they got together, so they knew what they wanted from the relationship. And they lived together for a year, so they knew exactly what they were getting into. She wasn't pregnant so they didn't have to get married. Like most people, they thought that they were in love and ready to spend the rest of their lives together. I'm hoping it all works out for them, but I'm not certain that it will.

I know from experience that the first year of marriage is probably the hardest. I think mine was especially hard because neither of us had lived with another person. He could afford to live alone when he moved out of his parents house and I lived with my parents until we were married. We commuted to college, so there wasn't a dorm or frat/sorority experience. Even though we dated for a loooong time before we got married, we still had some issues after, but we worked through them.

My parents have been married for over thirty years, and there were probably only a handful of kids whose parents were divorced when I was growing up. Now it seems like there are only a handful of kids in the class whose parents are still married. My husband's aunt and uncle got divorced after 25 years of marriage. Divorce rates are rising all over the world, not only in America. It just makes me kinda sad and wonder what's going wrong.

 

Is love alone enough to make a marriage last?

 

In my eyes, it takes so much more than just being in love. When I made the decision to accept my husband's proposal, I thought it through and made the decision with my head as well as my heart, which some people might see a callous. I knew that he would be a good husband and a great father. We share the same interests, have similar beliefs and ideals, similar parenting styles, and the same laid-back attitude towards life. Overall, we respect and love each other. I wasn't head-over-heels in love with him the way that the movies always portray it, but I do love him. It was more of a gradual thing that developed over time, starting out as a fling, then developed into a friendship, and finally into romantic relationship. I can't say that I'm not still attracted to other people, but I'm committed to making this marriage work. I'm an outrageous flirt but I don't do anything that will jeapordize my marriage. Emotions are fleeting and changeable. I'm not saying that a marriage can work without love, but I think there's as much of a chance of that working out as a couple who marry on the basis of love alone without really thinking the decision through or whether they'll feel the same in ten or even five years later.

[TypoMage 0]

Well I do believe that you cannot just love eachother you need other things to be in a succesful marriage. ( Or at least what I think ) I mean anyone can just love eachother but are they ready to make that kind of comitment?

[cwconline 0]

Well, one thing is for sure if u do not have love, then you sholdnt be married even if you have a kids with a person it should feel mutal and love each other not an obligation, there are other things thou that you need to make a marrage work, a stable job, house, car and finical secuirty.

[kuuldot 0]

You've got a point.But there you do need to know that before marrying anyone, you should ask yourself "can i live with this person for the rest of my life" - good and bad qualities...?No one should get married in the hope of the partner changing in time. You need to decide based on facts on ground,, not some grand idea in the distant future.

[tuddy 0]

That is only half of the cause. Yes, people are now rushing into marriage at the age of 20-27 and not really know the in's and out's of the person they're commiting to. People change over time, and sometimes even without seeing it coming or knowing it has come. Yes, marriage is something that is those that mutually love each other but in todays society the marrying age is becomming lower and lower and this means you have less chance of it working.Think bout 4-5 years ago, how many 16 year olds would come to you and say "We're engaged"? Now think to the how many have said it in the past year, it would be much more then the last 4-5 years combined. Sometimes it is for all the wrong reasons to begin with anyway, you think you love each other because of a child but then reliese that, no you don't love them and it only slides completely down hill from there.1. Know the person before you get married; know them as good as you know yourself.2. If the love is gone; don't try and hide it; don't try ingnore; tackle the issue head on.3. Having children is a huge step, it's no just two peoples that feelings or life are involved now, it's also the life of a child. Wise thoughts are always needed.

[imports_exports 0]

I feel the most important thing in marriage is understanding,being calm and having patience.If either of this is not there then the marriage will rock its not necessary in a year but it can also be after 10years.Coz by that time both of them take each other for granted and if by any chance either of them starts aggressive then problem starts. Just a couple of days before there was a nice article about now adays people peope at the age of 45years also after having a marriage life of 25yrs are going for divorce all because of wht can i know...there the misunderstanding starts and leads to trouble. If i am wrong then please tell me..

[ASHISHRANJAN 0]

hi........................i am ashish ranjani want to make you now that love is unique thingin this world. it different from every thing. love is nener can be enough for any body

[unwanted_flower 0]

love is foundation to any start of life shared together .unless want it to be based upon business relationship .love can be foundation to open up dreams and share each others desires and be creative unless a stick in the mud with sticky areas that our own parents drilled in each of us ,what love and committing should always be like .if that is true ,why not find someone that reminds us of our own mother and father ?as we each become miniature of our own up bringing as it is and when chips fall ,who do we reach out and call ,our parents to guide us through ,worst in our hearts .

[legend112 0]

To tell you the truth, real love is enough to last and overcome anything!!

 

Ask me, i met the love of my life and we have a long distance relationship thats working out great so far!! But it all has a lot to do with how much mature you both are about it.

 

Especially when it comes to marriage, its not an overnight decision one can just make. It takes a lot to be committed to someone forever through thick and thin. When you marry you have to be hundred percent sure she's what you will ever want and if she falls short, you should be prepared to accept her for who she is and appreciate what she is not consider the negatives only.

 

Study has shown that people in love perform better than those without someone to lean on. But love cannot be enough if two people are not rational about it. It needs a lot of work, and you get out what you put in.