How To Ask The Shy Girl Out / How To Read Her Signs-help!

[Chuckarthy 0]

HI ALL! First off i would like to thank you for taking the time to read this and hopefully you have some good advice because I sure do need it. Here is my story im 16 (i know it says that this is really intended for people over 18 but my parents and I dont exactly get along and their the last people I want to go too for advice). Im going to put it plainly, The vibes I get from most people are that im pretty ugly in the face and ive come to terms with that when I finally realised that i started working out like a madman and now im in pretty good shape. Anyhow about 8 months ago i received an email from a girl that I have had my eye on for quite some time. Lets put it this way she is beyond being just shy i went to school with her for three years in middle school with around 40 kids in my grade. I swear to you it wasnt untill the 3rd year their that i heard her even say one word! Thats how shy she is! I then left the school for my 9th grade year and she stayed there. Out of the blue she sent me an email im not even really sure how she got my email address because i dont really tell that many people what it is anyhow here is what the message saidHey, Charles I hope this is the right email address ^__^;What's up? How's your summer been? We haven't talked in a long time.Right now I'm really bored, to be honest. I just got out of summer school yesterday; I'm really happy but I have nothing to do. I could start my summer assignments, but...well...I'm not. I'm going to put that off for as long as possible.So... what are you doing this summer?Unfortunately I was only able to keep up and email/ IM communication with her because I am now attending a boarding school well over 500 miles from my house (im not their because i got in trouble =0 ). Anyhow while at school I called her up and over one of my breaks back home i went out to the movies with her. This has continued over the past months. Recently I have gone to the movies with her on several occasions as well as some concerts I have looked on the internet at things about how to read a womans body language to tell if they can like you but for some reason I feel that in her case because she is so shy that most of that dosent really correlate to her. Im not really sure if im just deciving myself because I wish it was the case or if my belief is in some way based in truth. For example it says that she will maintain eye contact, touch you during regular talk or when you say put your arm around her in the movies will for lack of better words cuddle. Now here is where im not sure if these are just me denying reality or if she is just an exception to the rule. (1) She very rarely makes eye contact with anyone at all period because she is so shy (2) She never touches me except for when we hug at the end of going out somewhere and we have never kissed (3) She has no problem with me putting my arm around her but she does not "cuddle". Here is my problem, i dont have a problem with asking her out to her face its not the guts i need. But i really just dont want to put her into a position where she feels like she is almost obligated to say yes to me because i want anything that happens to be sincere. What can i do so as to read her body language properly and how can i ask her out in a way that wont put her into that kind of position. Thank you for reading this and hopefully you can make some sense out of this garbled post. Sorry for my grammar and spelling. Engrish aint me goodest subjekt.Thank YouCharlesPs -- if you have any questions feel free to ask and ill answer them to the best of my ability

Edited May 30, 2007 by Chuckarthy (see edit history)

[t3jem 0]

Well.. I really don't want to make you feel bad or anything, but from what it sounds like, she isn't terribly interested in you; however, like you said, she is very shy and may not have the courage to do anything. I would wait a little longer, but I'm also a stand back kind of guy. Maybe you could hint a little at how you feel about her and see how she reacts. Other than that, I don't think I can give much more advice.Good luck.

[robocz033 0]

yea, i am having the same problem, although i go to the same school as the girl. well, the girl is like amazing, she is the most beautiful girl i have met. but im not sure if she likes me. like we joke around a lot, but i dont see her besides my 3rd hour class and in the hallways. we are kinda in different "groups" and have different friends except here and there. but it kinda seems like she goes out of the way to do some things for me. and she is like the sweetest girl i have ever met. and i kinda also get nervous when asking a girl out, except when i know they like me back.

[Chuckarthy 0]

well after reading all of the posts on here where people keep on saying that they have regretted not asking someone out i decided to call her. I threw out the idea and the answer i got was something to the effect of "lets continue to hang out and get to know each other and then we can see what happens on down the road". Anyhow im not sure how to take that i keep on wondering if it was her way of saying no without trying to hurt my feelings or if thats really how she feels. Now im just confused again and not really sure what she thinks... sheesh why cant things in life be more simple lol! Anyhow if i could get some insight from a female perspective on this i would be very appreciative.Thank YouCharles

[robocz033 0]

from that response, i would say she likes u as a friend but not as a gf. or she likes you but is too shy to admit it. i would just hang out a bit more, then after a couple weeks or a month, ask her in person (this is important, girls think its better if its in person) and if its still a no, then she does not like you that way, and just wants to be friends, or she is trying to save your relationship because she knows that if something bad happened, then you 2 might not be friends anymore, so its always good to consider all of the possible outcomes. because she may be looking ahead and seeing that it wont work out (girls have a remarkable ability to do this with relationships)

[Chuckarthy 0]

well when i asked her out i made it perfectly clear that no matter what she said that i still wanted to be her friend. I will take your advice and continue to hang out with her and ask her again in like a month. I however would still like to get a female opinion on this because only god knows how the minds of women work (i know that firsthand having three sisters). Thank you againCharles

[robocz033 0]

well, having 2 sisters, i know that their minds are messed up. i could ask one of them probably. ill get back to u with an answer that will either help u alot, be indifferent, or make u want to hurt urself.

[seez 0]

Don't play her stupid game, it's BS. She's toying with you. Just go right up to her and ask her, "Do you want to go out with me on _________ night?" That's easy, that's all it is. It's simple. You can tell her that she doesn't have to be shy with you and play dumb games. Just tell her and it'll all be ok.

[tuddy 0]

Don't play her stupid game, it's BS. She's toying with you. Just go right up to her and ask her, "Do you want to go out with me on _________ night?" That's easy, that's all it is. It's simple. You can tell her that she doesn't have to be shy with you and play dumb games. Just tell her and it'll all be ok.

and what then if she really did want to get to know him first?

I can see perfectly where she is comng from, being shy isn't as easier as you may think, you have judgements about hat people may think of you etc. etc. If you have so many friends and the such that guys/girls are hanging from you like an ants nest is the opinion of one person going to matter to you? No. If you're shy, alittle insercure about yourself one persons opinion of you could make you very upset and be your undoing. This is all she is doing, making sure that she isn't being set-up.

Can I ask what exactly you told her when you called her? You have to know what she likes, what makes her smile and roll it into a ball of love and pass it onto her in a thought-loving giving way of that makes sense. No point sayingI love you, but I don't know the first thing about you, you have to make the moment a romantic one that both you and her will remember.

[GamerGlitch 0]

I would try to ask her out, if she says "Yes!" then your in, if you get denied than it happens, too. Every one has to get denied, or rejected once in a while. I would rather, if I were in your case, take my chances, rather than regret it later from now. There is always the chance she could be your girlfriend and if you don't take the chance of asking her out theres a 0 percent chance of her being with you while, if you do pop the question you get a solid 50% chance of going out, do the math.

[tuddy 0]

I forgot to add one thing. If you can overcome those fears of asking her out and do, she will she that in positive light, and may give her some "balls" as they say to also say yes to you if thats what she really wants. Shy girls tend to believe they are not good enough for a relationship with you, am I correct on that one girls?

[midnightvamp 1]

Since it doesn't seem like there's really any female perspectives in this discussion, I'll try and give my two cents worth. Or possibly two dollars worth, cause I tend to ramble on, when I get behind a keyboard. Anyway, I've always been one of those 'shy girls', though I don't think that I was quite as shy as this girl you speak of, since I did speak a little here and there during school. Though I would only answer the teachers questions in class, and only then if I KNEW that it was the right answer. Many days it was all I could do to force myself to make sure to give one answer a day.So, anyway... relationship stuff. I've always been highly confused with it all. I'm not sure if I'm the best example, because I don't know the circumstances behind this other girl's shyness... maybe something happened in her past, maybe not. But I'm guessing that she might be like me and not really know what she wants.It's strange looking back on the 'crushes' I had back then, because I would have given anything to have one of these people even talk with me, let alone ask me out... (I know, I didn't really know anything about the person, but I was young and in love, so who cared, right?! Funny how things are looking back.) But more than anything, I also wanted everyone to just not see me, so that I wouldn't get hurt (because I've been hurt many times in the past, which sort of ruined much of my 'people skills', making me even more shy and afraid to speak up). I wished that I was invisible half of the time, but the other half of the time I was waiting for a 'prince' to sweep down and pull me up from everything and make everything in my life better.Unfortunately for me, that time never came. Things got worse in school and I eventually left it altogether, so yea, like I said, I might not be the model 'mind' to be basing your 'shy girl' ideas from. Anyway, after a few years I ended up getting more confidence in myself in that I at least talk now (wow, big step, eh?), but I still hide behind the computer screen as much as I can and avoid human contact as much as possible. People still really scare me, because I think that they are always judging me and seeing me as worse than others, and not good enough for the likes of them. I half know that it's not really how others see me, and rather just how I see myself, but the feeling is hard to shake - especially after thinking it for so long.Hmmm.... I don't really think I'm helping much here, but I certainly am starting to get myself all flustered and confused. I hope this is making some kind of sense, because I really don't know anymore.And I don't really know about this either, but I'll throw it out there anyways... There were also times where there was a guy that I liked, got to know, started wishing he would ask me out, then got to know more, then just wanted to be friends with, got to know more, they asked me out, I said I just wanted to be friends, so we still hang out, and then sometimes I think about wanting to date them... but I can't bring myself to say it to the guy, so I hope that he mentions something again. Though if he even does, I really don't think I'd have the courage to tell him how I feel after telling him I just wanted to be friends for so long.I don't know, but I do know that my feelings don't ever seem to stay constant, so this might be the same with other girls. Like sometimes I 'like' someone in that I want to go out with them, and then other times I just like them as a friend. And then sometimes I go back to wanting to date them... Okay, I give up, my mind is now officially mush But if you have specific questions, I can try and give you an answer... Otherwise, I can just be quiet, because your brain is probably hurting from trying to deceipher this. I hope things work out for you and her

[iGuest 3]

Hello? not every girl does the same thing. stop worrying. shes the one whose worrying she's shy and she trying not to be too shy round you. stop worrying nd everything will b fine.-ashleigh

[iGuest 3]

How do i ask her???

How To Ask The Shy Girl Out / How To Read Her Signs-help!

 

Simply I fancy a girl and I don't no if she fancies me. We talk all the time and she gets on fine with me.I have fancied her for 2 years and want to know. Should I ask her out and if so how? thx for reading

 

Cal

 

-darkmaster69

[iGuest 3]

I have close to the same thing. But its my best friends sister. Its wierd because I have had 1 girlfriend and I moved shortly after we started going out. I have never asked a girl out. Well I asked my friends sister out to the movies but she said no. It wasn't easy I had a plan of what to say , my heart was beaten, and when I saw her my heart stopped and my mind went blank and suddenly I had no plan. Well I asked, she was real slow to say no. It seemed she wanted to say yes but is way to shy. She said no, I'm worried I messed up BUT I like her so I'm gonna talk to her more and in 2 weeks try and ask her out again. If another no then talk joke and 2 weeks later ask again. I will eventually get a yes. Does this sound like a good plan? btw I'm a really shy guy.-reply by sleepless