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Mr. J

Help And Advice

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Hey guys, I am new here but I didn't just sign up for this so I'll try to stick around. I am 13, never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I really like a girl (because of a school trip) , and I want to ask her out and get to know her better. So can I hear your helpful words of advice.On Friday, I admitted to a friend, I liked a girl. He gave me advice and tried to work something out...this led it to one of her friends. So I admitted to her friend that I liked her. I can't explain this too much, the whole MSN Conversation explains it the most. I am willing to send out the conversation to anyone who can possibly help me succed in my future happiness. I went out today with a few of her friends and my friends, she was not there but I couldn't stop thinking about her, this made me leave the day out cause I wanted to be alone to think. But I just got a text saying she is out. I am gutted.Do I love her? Is it just a moment of maodness?Remember, if you want the conversations, I am willing to add you to my MSN Contact List and hear your advice, the e-Mail would be given out via PM.Thanks.- John

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Simply ask her out to something, movies, dinner, lunch at school , hang with her, become someone that cares for her, and knows about her, then tell her how you feel. If your a nice guy she will think the same about you, however i do think at the age of 13 your getting a little over-fest with the love thing, just play it cool and be good friends and see where it goes. Your only young, and girls as girlfriends just isn't worth wasting it away.

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Hey, yeah. Sorry for the mega "bump up" but yesterday, I thought all hope was gone, she liked someone else. So I went in to one of my moments, and burned my love letters I wrote. So today, I go on MSN, I found out she doesn't I was slightly mad at myself. So we got talking and she feels not wanted by us and she was leaving the school, because my friends never called over to her house for her...so what did I do...I semi-admitted to liking her. Tomorrow, do I go back to her and talk about it, or carry on like normal and talk in person.Once again, sorry for the bump.

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Semi-Admitting anything to something is a cop out and could lead to all sorts of trouble. You need to fully tell her how you feel, I dont think it matters if it's over MSN, face to Face or even a letter just tell her th whole truth. You'll only ever regret it if you don't. If she is leaving your school, then she may drift away, so get in now.

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Mr. J,I read your post and thought of myself at your age with the same problems, now I?m 35 married to the girl of mt dreams. What my experience tells me is that you get too uptight about talking your heart up to a girl, and hear me, this is the Brazilian way to get chicks...1 - When you go talk to her, be confident like you are when telling the truth to your mom about something you did n?t do. Remember it?s the same thing, you?re telling her the truth. (even though you?re not. :D:o )2 - Be neat, I mean brush you teeth well ( she will notice that ), wear clean clothes, not your best, but cool ones, smell good (do not put the whole bottle of perfume, be conscious ) end at last you have to look at yourself and know your ready.3 - Even before talking to her assume the happiness that you would feel if she had already accepted.4 - When talking to her try grab her hand between your both hands firmly but not with too much strength ( women respond well to that gest ).5 - The most important, after you tell her how important she?s for you and give her your torrent of feelings, if she hesitates to say something, seize the moment and kiss her softly. If she responds, give her your best, the first one is what counts most.Hope I?ve helpedGood luck.

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Let me ask you something

When you approach or start talking to a woman that youre interested in, what is your attitude
toward her? How do you treat her? What are you THINKING ABOUT?

Do you start the interaction by trying to figure out if shes single?

Do you assume that she probably has a boyfriend and look for hints that she doesnt?

Do you try to pretend like youre not interested in her in that way and instead try to be casual about it until you get signals from her?

Do you even THINK about your strategy for how to talk to a woman at all?


Most of us guys are running around doing things that were not even AWARE of. Or if we are aware of what were DOING, were NOT aware of what OTHER people (particularly women) think of our behaviors.

Also, most of us guys allow others to control MOST or even All of how we act. Now, we wont ADMIT that we try to do or say whatever we think will please a woman, and we wont ADMIT that were even mentally anticipating what shes going to think and acting on it but its happening.

And its happening ALL THE TIME.

In fact, if most of us could just get a realistic look at how much were trying to read womens minds and act in a way that pleases women, wed *BLEEP*-SLAP ourselves silly and wed mentally yell to ourselves HEY, WAKE UP!

Think about the following scenario:

Youre out at a bar, and you start talking to an attractive young woman while trying to order a drink. And lets even say that she starts the conversation by commenting on how busy it is and how many people are in line for a drink.

Youre thinking to yourself, I wonder if she has a boyfriend I wonder if shes here with someone I wonder how old she is and if shed like a guy my age I wonder if I should buy her a drink so shell feel obligated to talk to me and I can keep her attention I wonder if I should just wait and talk to her later

Then, you remember that youve been reading my newsletters and my eBook and learning from my Advanced Dating Techniques Series and you decide to use some of your new techniques.

So you say, Hey, do me a favor. Ill let you go in front of me if you order my drink for me. All the bar tenders are guys, and theyll give you more attention than theyll give me, OK? I dont usually use women just for their bodies this early on in the relationship, but in this case Im going to make an exception.

She laughs.

You think youre on a roll.

You then say, But Im not going to let you pay for it, OK? I dont want you thinking that Im easy and that Ill give you my number or come home with you just because you paid for my drink.

At this point, she turns around and gives you the Youre a loser look, and walks away.

Now lets think for a moment about what could be going on here

- She might be married

- She might be in a bad mood

- She might be a lesbian (not all that bad, actually)

- She might be offended

- She might be emotionally unstable

- She might have misheard what you said

- She might have gotten nervous

- She might have thought you were ugly

or the possibility exists that the technique you used might have been horrible.

But what do MOST guys typically do in a situation like this one?

Most guys typically let their emotions take over and they think, Well that stuff doesnt work, and they STOP even trying Cocky & Funny humor.


A side note: If youre not quite getting the Cocky & Funny humor thing, then you need to LEARN it. This technique will create more attraction with women than just about anything else I know. And heres the best way to learn:


A lot of guys will even try something and have it WORK for them, then have it NOT WORK just ONCE and quit using it because they stop believing in it.

This is a HORRIBLE mistake.

Let me try to say this all a different way

Out of a random sample of 100 beautiful women, youd probably find that only 20 of them (or so) are:

- Single

- Emotionally Stable

- Able to carry on an interesting conversation

- Not stuck up

- Not psycho

This is just an estimate from my own personal experience, but I think you get the point.

Now, heres the important part of this concept

Lets say that you started talking to all of these 100 women, one after the other, and you had to use the same basic attitude and opening with each of them.

What would you do?

If you treated all of them like they were probably NOT single, interesting, stable, etc. (which is the case), then youd probably scare off the single ones who were your targets, because theyd think you were acting strange.

For instance, lets say you started a conversation with a very attractive woman in her mid twenties, who was open-minded, funny, and wasnt concerned with how old the men she dated were (there are a lot of women out there like this I know this for a fact). But lets say that you were playing it cool, not saying anything that might offend or appear too forward, and generally treating her like she was probably married or had a boyfriend. Youd probably be trying to figure out if she was single, not really paying attention to what you were saying, and you might finish up by saying, So, can I take you out to dinner sometime?

And what is this hot, smart, desirable woman thinking while youre acting like a dork? Right shes thinking that youre a dork. Duh.

Now, lets take the flip side.

Stay with me here.

Lets say that you treated ALL of the 100 attractive women like they were AVAILABLE, smart, interesting, etc.

What would happen?

Well, youd probably start flirting with them all right from the beginning, or youd communicate very quickly that you werent just another friendly guy who wanted to talk about the weather.

And what would happen?

Well, as you can imagine, a lot of the women who were either unavailable or unable to have a normal conversation would reject you. They just wouldnt be interested. Their minds would be closed to the possibility of continuing the relationship with you, and they would end the conversation with you in one way or another.

Now, lets go TOTALLY out into space, and imagine that you were a LAB RAT, and that you had a bar that you could press. And lets say that 80% of the time when you pressed it you got shocked, and 20% of the time you got a treat.

How long would you keep pressing the bar?

And keep in mind that this is a random system.

You cant line up all the shocks (or all the rejections from women, in the non-rat experiment that most men live in day-to-day).

You might get 7 shocks in a row at first.

Or you might get 1 treat, then 5 shocks.

Well, for most men, the THOUGHT of being rejected by a woman is worse than a shock for a lab rat.

So what do we do?

We dont even try.

And we miss the opportunities with all of those wonderful, single, available women who are out looking for a man who has the balls to find them.

So whats the solution?

The solution is to use a little technique called behaving AS IF shes single, available, and interesting.

You must learn to overcome your initial self-doubt and your doubts about a woman, and behave AS IF every woman you start talking to is SINGLE and AS IF shes going to be THE ONE, MOST INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL WOMAN EVER.

You must do the things that will attract THAT woman, and forget about the rest.

And you must learn to NOT take the things that happen in between meeting the wonderful ones PERSONALLY.

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me and this girl have been talking for more than 5 months what should I do?Help And Advice

I have been talking to this girl for 5 months now, we hang out each and every day, she is honest with me, I asked her out last month she said that she is not ready for a relationship and that patience will pay off, I don't know what to think, there are times when I'm very confused, and my mind wonders about what she thinks of me?, when are we ever going to date, are her feelings really growing for me? I don't know what to think... 

-reply by Felix


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I don't think it's love sorry but i think that love comes after a certain age when things get more complicated 19+ or even 24+ and also u have to really get to know someone before u can fall in love. U just have a crush on the girl. It might pass or not if it doesn't just ask her out like other said your to young to be around the bush. As for you not having any experience that is not a problem i don't thnik that she is the relationships champion. So just find some courage and ask her out

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