Interesting Breakup To give, and receive nothing.

[tuddy 0]

About one month ago, i meet this amazing chick. Although she was young and had a little daughter of 1 month old at the time, i liked her alot. As the story goes on, wouldn't you have it, she asks me out, along with another chick at the same time. Now like anyone else i spent couple of days making my decision, I choose her over this other chick. Did i make the wrong choice?After about 4 weeks, she was going 2 and half hours away to visit her friends and family for only 3 weeks, and return there shortly after. So she left, and she left me on great terms, she got down there was having a wonderful time. However, someone didn't like the way she was being a mother, so she was battling to keep her daughter through the courts all well and good so far.Do you kno how hard i hits when a friend rings you and says that she wants to be just friends because she can't handle the stress of having a boyfriend and fighting to keep her daughter as well. Now that i can agree with and deal with. With the mind thought that we will get back together when this is over and she ishappy.Nope. I was wrong as always Now she is going to move a day whole day up states. 24 hours straight driving from where i am. She wants to keep her baby, so that is where the father lives and his family. Now, i was heartbroken by this, as anyone would be. But i did have to agree, knowing the court system quite well, knowing this was the best option for her and the baby. Then she says she never loved me, and that she didnt know what she wanted. She is going to try and sort things out with her ex-boyfriend and maybe get back together with him be the onl person she has ever loved. Well, im over it now. I have let my steam out....

[Saint_Michael 3]

All I have to say is bummer man, thats the tricky part ot relationships that involved a children. Usually the father or mother are beyond stress out that they are not thinking clearly, which you mention in the post. At hte time I would have said it would be a tough call on who to go out with. But after now I would have gone out with the non-child date.

[husker 0]

It's hard to make decisions like that. You just have to go off gut instinct. I'm not saying it was the wrong decision though. You never know what you are going to get. It's hard to deal with stuff like this and even harder when she piles her emotions onto you. You're good now that your over it. That's always the hardest stage. Good luck in finding someone else!

[tuddy 0]

Thanks, and yes i'm over it. No lik the relationship was a long-term one. The reason i choose her in the first place was that we di bond so much better then me and this other chick. I love children, so that didn't play a factor in m decision, although alot of peoples advice said it would have. I guess it did in the end, but i care more for the childs future then my own.As for your comment in finding someone else husker, thanks, i know the other chick from the original decision is still interested, dependent on the decision of some other guy who she has asked out apparently. I'm over the whole having a girlfriend thing, i think building friendships is only going to help you through life. Not to say that you never find the girl of your dreams and marry her, but don't just take anyone that offers etc.Thanks All...

[tractor 0]

I found out never trust a women. They make it sound like they love you then one day and they get all mad. This has happened not on the extent of yours though. They always say I NEVER LOVED YOU! But you know they did. In your heart you will always love her. Bu im happy you got over it because some people would go upstate and murder her. And that is just wrong.

[tuddy 0]

Thats just the thing, i do love her, and i know she loved me, its just her way of dealing with it. She had no choice about having to move back up there and thats something i have to deal ith also.I guess, the thing is you have to trust partially in the beginning and you slowly give and give more each time. If your trust is broken, or your love, you dont want to end up losing it all because of this one person.You ot to learn to let live, and die freely, wihout being burned by someone all because they have to do whats right for them. And yes im over it, i have already found another chick to try and get with. She is also th oppersite kind of peson person to my ex-girlfriend, strange really!!

[techclave 0]

You better try to get that girl back to her ex-boyfriend , for the sake of that child !!! I really do feel sorry for that kid .. If you can do this for your girl friend, you would be changing the life of her daughter. You can always find a better girl for you i suppose !!!

[mandla 0]

you situation is really painful and i believe its nobody at fault in this. Its just the way things have turned out. FOr you it hurts more because you feel like you dont have a choice but to accept the bad news. From my point of view i think there is one slight thing you all didnt take into consideration. You met this lady a month after her baby was born. she fell for you and then later because of her ex fighting for custody or trying to take baby away you ended up being told things like i never loved. This is probably true. She never loved you. Now dont get me wrong Im not saying she lied to you when she said i love you i believe she genuinly meant it. Thats what she believed she was feeling at that time of saying it.Im no doctor or psychologist but I think just after giving birth, most women still have hormonal issues and dont really knwo whats going on. SOme even resent their babies and feel trapped because they are stuck at home and its like a mental prison they are in . Judging from this girl wanting a relationship so soon after giving birth tells you that her pregnancy must have been very difficult. For instance if he abused her or left her or broke up with her while she was pregnant then obviously her self esteem must have taken a huge battering. she must have felt like a worthless person, pregnant single mom to be who was fast becoming those girls peole talk about. So when you came along you were like a tall glass of water in the desert. There you were being really nice to her at a time no one else wanted her. It felt good hearing that someone wanted to be with her especially when the post natal depression kicked in. You were something she could look forward to in her boring world of basically little or no sleep and a crying baby for company. Her bf seems like hed either left or was worse company that a screaming baby.She was never ready for a relationship. but having you around was refreshing in her dreary world. I dont know if you have ever watch a reality television show called BIG BROTHER its about a group of people put in a house for a long time like 3 months and after a while they start to feel very close and develop lve feelings for each other. It is obvious in the real world they may never have been compatible but when they had no options to chose from they made best of what was around and got attached to that. It normally does not surprise anyone that these relationships do not last once they are back on the outside world. Well My friend you have been in a similar situation. She had no one else but you and in that enviroment of post natalk depression you were as good as it got and she didnt even realise that she was infactuated with you because you were the only person there for her. You were her escape from reality. from the crying baby and long nights spent with the baby not wanting to sleep. When she left and reality hit because she probably realised you werent the only person in the world there for her and that the world wasnt all about one house and a crying screaming baby but there was a support network she realised that in the ideal world she would not be dating you she decided to nip it in the bud. If you look at you situation, you will find that she js realised that the person wanting to take her baby away or cause the baby to be taken away was someone she probabaly trusted in very much the same way you were fast becoming trusted. She realised that a guy who loves you can one day turn very sour and bitter after things dont work out. She probably is bitter at her ex for tryign to make her loose the same baby she despised for robbign her of freedom only weeks before. BUt thats not her fault. Post natal depression does that to people. Have you not heard of women who cant cope with the post natal depression some kill their babies or stuff like that. You just have to cut your losses and and move on mate. There was never a real relationship there. One of you was in a time of their life they didnt know what else to do so felt like the only way out was to try and find love. I would say cut your losses and move on bro.